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In Varian’s opinion, travelling with the group had been going rather well that day.
Varian felt well rested after not having a single nightmare the night before and the group ran into no difficult obstacles on the day’s journey. Hugo and Nuru’s bickering through the day had been minimal, Hugo’s teasing towards Varian was strictly lighthearted, and Yong didn’t accidentally set off any fires.
All in all, Varian was considering the day to be a success.
That is, until everything started winding down.
When the sun began to set, the group found a nice, hidden clearing and began to set up camp. Today, it was Hugo’s day to make the group dinner.
Yong and Nuru set off to collect firewood while Varian put himself in charge of setting up camp by unrolling bedrolls and creating a firepit. He began to hum to himself as he unloaded their belongings from Prometheus the mule. Meanwhile, Hugo was digging through their available ingredients and cookware, eyeing Varian with amused green eyes as he passed.
“You seem to be in a jolly mood, Goggles,” Hugo grinned, pulling out some vegetables as he stared at Varian through his rounded glasses. “What’s got you in such high spirits?”
Varian stopped his humming and met Hugo’s gaze. “Well for one thing, you’ve been relatively behaved the whole day, which is a rarity in itself.”
Hugo’s eyes flashed in mirth, which caused Varian’s cheeks to strangely heat up. That’s weird. “Rarity? I don’t know what you mean, Hairstripe. I am quite literally the epitome of a samaritan.”
Varian scoffed humorously as he turned away, his mouth pulled into a grin. “Keep telling yourself that, pretty boy.”
For some reason that caused Hugo to go quiet, and when Varian glanced back at him he saw his face was obscured by the bag he was digging through. Varian only shrugged at the lack of quip and continued to set up camp, ignoring the heat still radiating from his cheeks.
The sun was still making its way towards the horizon when Nuru and Yong returned, having sparked a fire and sitting around it while chatting. Varian, finished with his duties, snuck to Hugo’s side, who was slicing vegetables for the stew he was working on. The blond didn’t show any sign of hearing his approach, seemingly lost in thought, so he decided to announce his presence.
“Need any help?”
Hugo jumped abruptly at Varian’s voice, clearly not expecting him to be so close. The dagger he was using to cut vegetables jerked with his reaction and sliced through the bed of his pointer finger, which was uncovered by his fingerless gloves.
Hugo winced and shook his hand out, likely to try to ease up the pain, and turned towards Varian. “Yeesh, warn a guy before you sneak up on him.”
Although Hugo’s tone was in a joking manner, Varian still took a step back and shrunk in on himself, old instincts returning. “Sorry! I didn’t mean to sne-”
Varian immediately froze upon seeing a familiar deep red pool onto Hugo’s finger, feeling like a bucket of ice cold water was poured into his veins. Hugo started saying something, but it became lost to an uncontrollable ringing in Varian’s ears.
His vision began to blur and tunnel as nausea swirled in his gut. He could see a blurry figure approach him but he couldn’t focus away from the harsh pounding in his ears. Before he could even begin to try to prevent it, the world began to tilt sideways before dipping into darkness.
*****
In Hugo’s opinion, he was absolutely done for.
Having been surrounded by their odd ragtag group for weeks now, he felt the deflective defenses around him crumble as he felt a need for belonging grow inside of him.
While his sarcastic quips and constant teasing hadn’t died down, his approaches to both had become more… Friendly. Less of an intention to be an asshole, and more so just wanting to contribute to the harmless jokes passed around the group.
He knew he needed to try to keep up his mask of indifference and cockiness to avoid getting attached as Donella insisted, but he couldn’t stop himself from wanting to be an actual part of the group. Besides, Don never mentioned anything against enjoying himself while on the mission, right?
Yeah, he was done for.
The worst part about it was Varian.
While Hugo could be normal about Varian most of the time, sometimes Varian would do something that made his heart do a weird flutter in his chest. Whether it was rambling about something he was passionate about, glancing at Hugo with obnoxiously concerned big blue eyes as if he could read his thoughts, or smiling at Hugo as if he himself hung the sun in the sky. Even their back and forth bickering made Hugo smile in a way he wasn’t used to doing, having been so used to forcing cocky smirks to get people annoyed with him.
And just moments before, when Varian offhandedly called Hugo “pretty boy” as a joke. Hugo was blessed by the Maker himself that Varian wasn’t looking at him when he said that, because Hugo could feel his entire face rapidly burn up at the comment. He ducked behind the bag he had been searching through in order to hide the blush reaching his ears, but he couldn’t even bring himself to dredge up a deflective retort to save his dying dignity.
So all in all, Hugo was absolutely, one hundred percent done for.
Thankfully, things continued on normally after that, with the two youngest of the group returning to start the fire. Hugo kept his focus on chopping vegetables for the stew he planned to make but couldn’t stop his betraying thoughts from drifting to Varian.
His laugh. His voice. His odd teal hairstripe. His ability to effortlessly bounce off of Hugo's playful quips with clever comebacks. His neverending desire and passion to learn all he can about the world. His dozens of freckles displayed across his cheeks and nose that resembled stars through the night sky in Hugo’s mind. His bunny-toothed smile. His bright blue eyes that seemed to shine like-
“Need any help?”
Hugo startled at the sudden voice that appeared next to him, the same voice that belonged to the person haunting Hugo’s thoughts. Hugo was pulled away from his shock by a sharp stinging sensation on his finger, having accidentally cut it with his dagger when he nearly jumped three feet in the air in surprise.
He winced and shook out his hand, trying to shake off the burning sensation. The cut was small and had only truly gone through the surface of his finger, but it still definitely stung a bit.
Hugo fumbled to retain control of his panic at seeing Varian after having been caught thinking of the boy, hoping Varian couldn’t read his thoughts. He tried to shake off his humiliating reaction the best he could by throwing out a deflective remark, adding a teasing lilt to his voice. “Yeesh, warn a guy before you sneak up on him.”
Unexpectedly, Varian’s shoulders began to hunch as he took a step back. “Sorry! I didn’t mean to sne-”
Varian’s voice cut off as he stared straight forward. Hugo followed his intense gaze to find him staring at his finger, which had begun to pool blood onto the surface. Right. Hugo forgot how finger injuries tend to bleed a ridiculous amount compared to most surface wounds.
Hugo chuckled at Varian’s intense reaction, already moving to wipe the blood on a nearby washcloth. “Relax Goggles, it’s only a little scratch. I think I’ll survive just fine.”
Only, Hugo’s words didn’t seem to reassure the boy at all. In fact, when Hugo turned towards Varian again, Varian only seemed to get paler. His eyes still blankly stared straight ahead in a way that set off alarm bells in Hugo’s mind.
“Freckles?” Hugo stepped towards the boy, though he didn’t seem to notice his presence. He almost seemed to be swaying in place. “Hey, you okay?”
Before Hugo could react, Varian’s eyes fluttered shut and his body dropped onto the grass below him as if he were a puppet whose strings were cut. Hugo’s heart fell to his stomach as he dropped himself next to Varian, whose body was entirely too still.
“Varian?!?” Hugo called out, shaking Varian’s shoulder only for it to feel as though he was disturbing a corpse. A sick feeling found its way to his throat at the thought, but he quickly choked it down as he tried to rein in his panic.
It’s fine, I’m sure he’s okay, he has to be fine-
“Hugo??” footsteps thudded closer to him as he saw two pairs of legs approach. Nuru and Yong quickly knelt to the ground next to him, staring at Varian’s unconscious form in shock. Nuru turned her panicked gaze towards Hugo. “Hugo, what happened?!”
“I-I don’t know! We were talking before he suddenly just collapsed out of nowhere!”
Before Nuru could respond, they heard a groaning beneath them. They both snapped their gazes below them to find Varian’s head lolling as his eyes blinked open lazily.
“Varian!” Hugo gasped in relief, pushing down the sudden tears that he could feel in the corners of his eyes. His upper half hovered over Varian’s as he placed his hands on both of Varian’s shoulders, not allowing his eyes to redirect from the boy’s face. Varian blinked slowly at him as if waking up from a dream, seeming very disorientated with his eyes unfocused and glazed over.
“Hugh?” Varian slurred, his half lidded gaze slowly drifting from Hugo to the others who surrounded both of Hugo’s sides, all of whom staring at the half conscious boy worryingly. “Wh’happened?”
“I think you might have passed out,” Nuru said, her calm and steady voice relaxing some of the tension in Hugo’s muscles. “What do you remember last?”
Varian stared at her as if she’d grown two heads before squeezing his eyes shut, his face set in a grimace. “Too spinny.”
“He’s probably still dizzy, we should elevate his legs,” Nuru suggested, standing up from her knelt position. Before Hugo could even figure out what she meant, she was rolling over a hollow log that was sat by their campsite. She carefully lifted Varian’s legs and situated the log underneath before gently lowering his legs onto it.
Now Hugo was the one staring at her as if she’d grown two heads. She caught him staring and just shrugged. “It helps with blood flow.”
“How do you know this stuff?” Hugo couldn’t help but ask.
“My sister would sometimes have fainting spells after particularly intense future-queen training days,” Nuru explained. “So I’ve had my fair share of helping with them.”
Satisfied with her explanation, Hugo turned back towards Varian. While his blue eyes were still half lidded, he seemed to be gaining more awareness as he looked around. One of Hugo’s hands still rested gently on the boy’s shoulder, but he didn’t feel the need nor want to move it.
Before he could question any hidden meaning behind that thought a sniffle came from next to him. Alarmed, he glanced up to find Yong trembling and fighting back tears.
Nuru quickly knelt next to Yong, wrapping her arm around the young boy. “What’s wrong?”
“N-nothing,” Yong said, swiping his nose under his sleeve. “It’s just- that came out of nowhere and- Varian, he was-” his stumbled words cut off as more tears poured from his eyes.
“Hey, shh, it’s okay to be afraid,” Nuru rubbed the boy’s shoulder comfortingly as he shook. “It’s definitely scary at first but it’ll pass, and soon everything will be okay.”
Hugo masked the panicked adrenaline that had been pumping in his veins and pushed the memory of Varian’s sudden collapse to the back of his head by giving Yong his most confident smirk, which felt unnatural on his face. “Yeah, Goggles is tough and way too stubborn for his own good, he’s gonna be fine. Right, Goggles?”
Hugo glanced nervously at Varian for his response, wanting his wellness to be confirmed not only for Yong’s sake but for his too. While still seeming slightly dazed and pale with his legs still resting on a log, Varian managed to smile up at Yong reassuringly. To anyone it would seem fully genuine, but Hugo had observed Varian long enough to see the slight grimace in it. “Yep, m’all good down here. This isn’t new for me, m’used to it by now.”
Yong sniffled and wiped his eyes. “This has happened before?”
“Oh yeah, plenty of times. I admit it’s been a while since it last happened, but I suppose it was only a matter of time.”
The casualness in his tone was jarring to Hugo considering the subject, but he kept his face as neutral as possible. Despite him wanting to seem nonchalant about the situation now that his adrenaline had lowered, his eyes kept flickering over to Varian’s face to make sure he was still awake, as if he would suddenly lose consciousness again in a blink of an eye.
“Is there something that triggers it or does it happen at random?” Nuru asked, which made Hugo’s ears perk up.
“It sometimes happens either if I overexert myself or if I see blood,” Varian responded, grimacing. “It’s a weird phobia thing.”
Hugo’s heart once again fell all the way to his stomach as a throbbing sensation made itself reapparent in his finger, one he had forgotten about in his panic. “Oh fuck.”
“What?” Nuru questioned immediately, unnerved by Hugo’s tone. “What’s wrong?”
Hugo lifted the hand that was resting on Varian’s shoulder to find a decent sized blood stain had been absorbed by Varian’s shirt. His finger, while seemingly no longer bleeding, had red smeared all over the surface.
Hugo held his finger up for both Nuru and Yong to see, whose faces both dropped in realization. Hugo watched Varian’s nervous gaze follow everyone else’s before he squeezed his eyes shut and took a sharp breath in.
“Shit, shit, Varian I’m so sorry, I forgot I-” Hugo panicked, already going to wipe the blood off on the ground next to him.
“It’s fine, it’s fine, I’m all good,” Varian said, although his rapidly paling face said otherwise. He sucked in another breath as his eyes remained firmly shut.
Nuru seemed to be taking stock of the situation before sitting up, her voice becoming one of an experienced leader- or likely a princess. “Hugo, go gather some first aid and take care of your finger. Yong, go through Varian’s stuff and find him a new shirt to replace the soiled one with.”
While Hugo was reluctant to leave Varian’s side, he knew he would only be doing harm by staying. Him and Yong quickly got up to do their respective tasks, Yong ruffling through Varian’s satchel while Hugo cleaned up and wrapped up his cut as quickly as possible. As they both returned, they found Varian sat up against the log his legs were previously on with a canteen of water in his hands, likely courtesy of Nuru, with his head pointedly turned away from his red-stained shoulder. Meanwhile, Nuru had a hand rubbing comfort circles against Varian’s back.
Yong and Hugo approached the two and knelt in front of them, with Yong holding out the clean shirt to Varian. Varian gently took the shirt with a seemingly embarrassed flush to his cheeks at the sudden attention directed at him.
“Thanks,” he mumbled, then glanced at the others while they stared at him almost expectantly. He gave a pointed look at his shirt and cleared his throat rather loudly.
That seemed to snap the others out of the stupor they found themselves in. They quickly mumbled some excuses and stood up to give Varian privacy, with Nuru and Yong going back to sitting by the fire while Hugo went back to slicing vegetables, trying to pretend like nothing happened.
Even so, his mind kept going back to how Varian had paled like a ghost upon seeing Hugo’s bloody finger before dropping to the floor, with Hugo’s mind working too slow to try to reach out and catch him. Hugo caused Varian to pass out it was all his fault what if Varian had never woken up-
Some rather loud footsteps broke Hugo out of his thoughts, and he looked up to find Varian approaching him and scuffling his feet more than necessary. He wore a new buttoned shirt with no red stains in sight, the soiled shirt left sitting on the log and purposely laid to hide the bloodstain.
Varian looked sheepish upon meeting Hugo’s gaze. “I thought if I made more noise I wouldn’t scare you this time.”
While Varian probably meant it in a joking way, Hugo’s thoughts still drifted back to how being distracted and startled by Varian’s presence is what caused this whole scenario to happen in the first place. If he had been paying attention he wouldn’t have cut his finger and Varian wouldn’t have-
“You okay?” Varian asked, closer than he had been, making Hugo realize he zoned out again. His eyebrows were furrowed with concern in a way Hugo didn’t feel he deserved.
“Am I okay?” Hugo asked incredulously, his voice lilting upwards in a way he couldn’t control. He dropped the dagger and vegetables he’d been chopping before he could accidentally stab himself as he gestured wildly. “You’re the one who collapsed out of nowhere. Why are you even standing right now? You should be sitting to recover.”
Varian ignored Hugo’s worried rambling and continued on. “You’re the one who cut your finger. How is it? Does it still hurt?”
Before Hugo could dwell on the deflected worry Varian had gently grabbed hold of his hand, observing the small bandage wrapped around the bed of his pointer finger. His eyes were worried in a way that created a lump in Hugo’s throat and caused his face to heat up again.
“Wh- Goggles, it’s just a scratch, I’m fine,” Hugo reassured, pulling his hand out of Varian’s and tucking both hands underneath his armpits before his face could become redder. “I- I think you should probably go sit down with the others, just in case.”
Varian’s frown only deepened, which caused a pang in Hugo’s heart at the sight. “You sure? I can still help with the stew if you want.”
Hugo brushed him off by grabbing the dagger and vegetables again and pointedly avoiding his concerned gaze. “Trust me Hairstripe, I got this. Go hang with the others, I’ll be over in a minute.”
Varian shrunk in on himself again. Before Hugo could dwell on that, the boy turned away and walked towards the others, joining them on logs laid around the fire like benches.
Hugo soon finished with the vegetables and brought the ingredients over to put over the fire. Hugo tried to keep his focus on the task, but he couldn’t help but send worried glances at Varian. While the others idly chatted, Varian sat quietly with his legs tucked into the chest and his gaze solely focused on the crackling fire, almost glaring at it. Hugo couldn’t help but wonder what the boy was thinking about.
*****
Varian tried to keep his swell of emotions under control as he stared into the fire, watching the flames innocently dance underneath the pot Hugo was using for the stew.
Even though he had reassured Yong he was used to the feeling of passing out, it still left him feeling out of control and uncontrollably anxious whenever it happened. He wasn’t lying about having experience with the feeling, but man did he wish he could get used to it without fear choking him every time he woke up from the floor with little memory of how he got there. Actually, he wished it never happened at all, but that was definitely wishful thinking.
While uneasiness still clutched at his shoulders, that wasn’t to blame for his swell of emotions. In all honesty, he was utterly embarrassed.
Hugo had reassured Varian he had barely cut his finger, and yet it was enough to make Varian lose consciousness. For someone who had been once enraged enough to try to take down others through sheer violence, had lived in the darkest parts of a dungeon for a whole year surrounded by people over twice his age, and had experience with battling an entire demon, you’d think he would be over his dumb phobia by now. After all, he’d collected plenty of scars during his time in prison and with the Saporians, and it had even gotten to a point where he only felt slightly dizzy at the sight of his or other people’s blood.
So the question was, why was it back? Why could he all of the sudden no longer handle blood? After years of thinking he was over it, why was he still afraid of it?
The only logical conclusion he could think of was that, ever since Rapunzel dragged him from the dark situation he’d been in, he had rarely seen much blood since. His body and mind were no longer used to the sight of pooling red, with it now only serving as a reminder of that dark period of his life, and he could no longer control his reaction to it.
While it made sense, it still frustrated him to no end. After all he’d been through, he was still the weak little boy who would pass out at the barest sight of blood. And now the others would think he was weak, too. Hugo certainly already seemed to think so, with the way he insisted Varian needed to sit down. Did he still feel lingering exhaustion and slightly off balance from fainting? Yes, but that didn’t mean Hugo knew that.
Speaking of Hugo, he thought as a bowl was held out in front of him, tearing him from his spiralling thoughts. He looked up at the blond who held out the bowl to him, a crease still between his eyebrows as he stared down at him.
Varian grabbed the bowl and mumbled out a quiet thanks, avoiding looking at Hugo as the blond sat on the same log as him. The area was suddenly quiet, the quiet conversation from before replaced only by the sounds of the crackling fire.
Varian looked up to find the others staring at him before quickly turning away, as if they’d been caught. Everyone started digging into the stew as they all suddenly became interested in observing the environment surrounding them, as if it wasn’t entirely dark by this point.
Varian sighed and gazed down at the stew in his lap. While the smell wafting from it was enticing and made his stomach growl, his gut felt too twisted to want to eat anything. He set the bowl beside him before the nausea could begin clawing at his throat.
“You gonna eat Freckles?” Hugo asked from next to him, his voice uncharacteristically soft. Varian looked up at him to find him staring again, his green eyes intense with worry. Varian knew he was asking more out of concern rather than offense that his stew wasn’t being eaten, but it still didn’t ease the knots in his stomach.
“I-” Varian said, then glanced at the others to find them both staring at him as well. Varian made a frustrated noise before turning back to the fire, urging the ground to swallow him whole. “Look, I know you guys are concerned but I’m seriously fine, okay? I’m not gonna faint again.”
Nuru shifted where she sat before speaking up. “I think we are less concerned about your physical well being at this point and more concerned about the fact you’ve been glaring at the fire for the past thirty minutes as if it killed your whole family.”
Flashes of amber mixed with the colors of the crackling fire, and for a moment Varian swore it was crystallizing before blinking away the unwanted memory. Frustration seeped into him. It’s been at least four years since that incident, his father was fine, and he still wasn’t over it?
I mean, based on the nightmares he’d been consistently having since then he knew he wasn’t fully healed from what happened, but the sudden reminder of the memory still haunting him combined with recent blood-related events made it clear to him just how persistent his brain was to never move on from anything.
Varian couldn’t swallow back his frustration anymore. He huffed in exasperation, tugging at his hair and closing his eyes. “It’s just- I thought I was over it by now.”
For a moment there was only the sound of the crackling fire before Yong spoke softly. “Over what?”
Varian chuckled drily, gesturing wildly. “Everything! I thought I’d gotten over my fears but it’s like everything keeps coming back to haunt me.”
Despite him trying to keep his voice steady, he couldn’t control the slight tremble at the end of his comment. The others glanced at each other before turning back to him, confusion and concern present in their expressions.
“You mean the blood?” Nuru asked carefully. “Varian, that’s a very reasonable fear to have. It’s not just something you can really get over.”
Varian decided not to mention the other fears that were clawing for attention in his brain and focused on his original plight. “But that’s just it- I had gotten over it! I used to be able to handle it but it feels as though everything I’ve gone through did nothing but make me weaker and it just feels so stupid and humiliating to still be afraid of something that I thought I’d gotten over and I don’t-” he cut himself off as he realized his air supply had completely emptied, making him lightheaded. He gulped some much needed air and tried to contain his emotions before realizing his blurry vision wasn’t from his lightheadedness. He lightly touched his eyes with the tips of his gloved fingers, only for them to come back wet.
The sight made his composure slip and he curled in on himself, muttering a small “fuck.” The old fears that had made their way to the forefront of his mind, combined with the anxiety still present from unexpectedly waking up on the forest floor, caused him to descend into sobs, ducking his head between his knees in an attempt to shield himself from the humiliation.
It wasn’t like crying in front of his dad or Rapunzel or Eugene, who had seen or knew of his darkest moments and could comfort him without him feeling embarrassed. This was different. He was supposed to be their leader. Other than the nightmares that kept him up some nights, he had managed to stay relatively strong throughout the journey, wanting to be a grounding presence for the friends who had seemed to look up to him. Now as his breath choked on sobs, he realized it had all been a selfish act to make them think he was less damaged than he really was. Despite his avoidance of bringing up his history, his past always seemed to catch up to him in some shape or form.
It was only a moment into his miserable self loathing before a pair of long arms wrapped around him, abruptly interrupting his spiralling thoughts. He peeked his head out to find a sleeve of green and blond tufts of hair in his vision. Before long, two more pairs of arms joined in, practically working to shield him from his deep-rooted fears and making his insides feel warmer.
He sniffled and choked on a sob at the display of care, feeling undeserving of their kindness. “M’sorry.”
“What for?” Yong’s gentle but curious voice came from above him.
“I should be stronger,” Varian choked out.
“Oh Varian,” Nuru spoke softly in a way that reminded Varian of Rapunzel, which only caused more tears to blur his vision as another sob escaped his throat. “Just because you're our leader doesn’t mean you need to be strong all the time. That’s what we are for.”
“Yeah!” Yong exclaimed, his arms wrapping tighter around him. “We can catch you when you fall! Uh- metaphorically. Physically might need a warning next time.”
Varian choked on a wet laugh, his heart feeling lighter by the second.
“It’s okay to have fears, Goggles,” Hugo said, surprising Varian with the gentleness and seriousness in his voice. “Just because you haven’t gotten over something doesn’t automatically make it stupid or embarrassing or whatever. Some fears may never leave you, but you just have to learn to grow with them and be willing to rely on others to help you with the load. That doesn’t make you weak, it shows you have the strength to put your trust in others.”
Varian almost questioned the unreadable tone in Hugo’s voice in that last comment but was too caught up in the overwhelming surge of emotions that reacted to Hugo’s words. He stopped beating himself down for losing his composure and instead allowed himself to accept the affection wrapped around him, burying his head in the other’s comforting holds.
“I love you guys,” he mumbled through his tears, feeling his heart soar with the happiness that filled his insides.
“We love you too, Varian.”
The hug lasted for a few minutes as Varian’s quiet sobs turned into deep breaths, the cold of the night forgotten by the warmth created in their hold. Eventually Hugo cleared his throat, clearly antsy by the amount of physical affection. “Hate to interrupt this touching moment, but I think the stew might be cold now.”
The others only laughed as they pulled away, Varian sending them grateful smiles as he wiped the dried tears on his face. They all grinned back as they sat back down, picking up their bowls and digging into the stew that was now lukewarm at best. The uneasy chatter from before was now an animated conversation between the four of them, each of them bouncing off each other’s thoughts and ideas as they dug into their food. The nausea previously swirling in Varian’s gut was now completely gone and replaced with overwhelming hunger, which he soothed by practically shovelling stew into his mouth.
Only when he was fervently scooping up food from his bowl to his mouth did he look up at Hugo and found him staring at him with an amused glint in his eyes. Varian swallowed the food in his mouth and smiled sheepishly, his cheeks reddening in slight embarrassment.
Hugo only laughed and shook his head, his eyes falling to the ground before meeting Varian’s again. The overwhelming affection in his green eyes made Varian’s heart thump strangely in his chest, but he steadily held the blond’s gaze and poured as much gratitude into his own as he mouthed the words “thank you.”
Hugo's expression faltered in surprise at Varian’s sincerity, his face becoming red all the way to his ears. He seemed unable to mask the sheer amount of emotions on his face as he lightly shoved Varian with one hand, making Varian giggle. His eyes avoided Varian’s as he remarked halfheartedly, “eat your stew, idiot.”
The weak deflection in his tone only made Varian laugh harder, which in turn seemed to enhance the affection in Hugo’s gaze. The two met eyes again, their faces both set in genuine smiles. Suddenly, it felt like the world had melted away to create a protective bubble around the two, held together by the trust and care in both of their gazes.
Someone cleared their throat rather loudly and the bubble seemed to pop as they once again became aware of their surroundings. They looked over at Nuru who was raising an eyebrow at them knowingly- what does she know?- and Yong who couldn’t seem to hide back his grin. That’s when Varian realized how Hugo and him had unconsciously drifted closer to each other.
Hugo seemed to realize at the same time as him, and they both laughed nervously as they scooted away. Varian prayed the heat radiating from his face was caused by the fire glowing a few feet away, but from the way Nuru intentionally grinned at him the probability was unlikely.
As the group settled into conversation which had overtime drifted into peaceful chatter, Varian felt himself at ease in a way he hadn’t felt in a long time. Although he wasn’t sure if he was ready to spill his complicated backstory to the others yet, he felt content knowing that no matter what, his friends wouldn’t humiliate him for his fears and would have his back if he ever fell apart. He felt a smile tug at his lips at the thought, and let himself be immersed by the sounds of quiet conversation and warmth from both the crackling fire and the overwhelming joy in his chest.