Chapter Text
The night before what is supposedly said as his biggest ‘match’ to play aka the world cup final, Pedri is scrolling through his X. He knows he shouldn’t be doing that, but his mind can’t stop. There are tons of people saying bad things about him. The worse part is, Pedri does feel that it’s all true. It keep troubling his play, his mind like a non ending cycle.
“Pepi, sleep.” The voice makes him turn his head, leading his eyes to see his boyfriend snuggling on the other single bed beside his. Ferran. The person who’s always been there with Pedri for almost everything. Someone who’s going to leave him. Pedri didn’t say it out loud, he can’t. He can’t say a thing to Ferran, no matter how badly he want to say don’t leave me in a loudest voice possible. Pedri doesn’t feel he have a right to say that, he doesn’t feel enough to make him stay.
Pedri are suppose to feel estatic, as they are only one step away from winning the world cup, but nothing is going right for him to feel that way. He doesn’t play well, not enough, not enough for other people expectation. Just as the same time, news about Ferran mess with his mind more than he can tolerate. He’s leaving to PSG. Fucking PSG. Pedri is not happy for it. It makes sense in a lot of aspect, but Pedri doesn’t want him to leave. Barcelona is Ferran’s place, their place. He’s not ready to let him go, he will never be.
It’s hard. They’re already in a relationship for about a year. It’s hard enough to love quietly with how much love they have for each other. They have to keep it low with Pedri having a ‘media’ girlfriend and all things that follow. He can’t imagine if they have to do a long distance relationship. He’s scared of it. So fucking scared. Yet, he’s not ready to say anything about that. He keep shoving those as he’s afraid that it’ll become to feel real.
Pedri sigh calmly before answering him. “I’ll sleep later, sorry to wake you up.” Hearing that tone from Pedri, Ferran open his eyes and stare at his boyfriend. “What’s wrong?”
“Nothing. Just go to sleep, Ferri.”
“You’re thinking too much.”
“I am not.” Pedri frowns.
“Yes you are.” Ferran slowly getting up from his sleep position to sit on Pedri’s side of bed. Ferran snatch Pedri’s phone from his hand and leave it on the bedside table.
“What are you doing?” Pedri protest, try to win his phone back. Ferran chuckles while handling Pedri so he can calm down. Lost at the battle of power, Pedri pouts.
“What’s inside your little head, hm?” Ferran ask with the softest tone he always use while talking to Pedri. Hearing that, Pedri doesn’t even have an urge to protest anymore. Ferran and his annoying ass to always know how to make him calm.
“Just thinking.”
“About?”
“Nevermind, it’s not that important.” Pedri’s answer result in frown coming from Ferran.
“It must be if it’s keeping you like this.”
“You already have so much in your mind, i don’t want to burden it with my mind too.” Pedri isn’t wrong, Ferran have been receiving worse of treatment than Pedri. It’s not the first time, Ferran used to got the same back in Barcelona. Pedri is not blind. Maybe that’s one of the reason why Ferran thinking of leaving to PSG.
“Pepi, all this time i always here with you, no? You’re never a burden.” This is what Pedri hates from Ferran. He’s always soft, always full of comfort, always offer himself whenever Pedri need someone. It reach to a codependency that Pedri can’t imagine his life without him by his side. Still, upon hearing that, Pedri transition into a sitting position and place his jaw on Ferran’s shoulder, letting the older to hold him softly.
“Care to tell me what happened?” Again, Ferran ask him while his hand patting Pedri’s back.
“Just saw what people saying online. It’s stupid, i know. I just can’t stop thinking that maybe i’m not as good as people think of me.” Pedri then bury his face on Ferran’s neck, searching for comfort. Pedri can feel his other half tighten his hands, holding him like he’s a treasure he’ll keep safe no matter what.
“Well, fuck them.”
Pedri finally let out a faint laugh. Ferran will always be Ferran. Pedri knows how much softness his boyfriend have inside his smug acting ‘tough’ appearance. Just like this, he can feel so much tenderness Ferran has for him by the way he holds him, patting his back, stealing kisses on top of his head. His action is enough, even when he’s grumbling with words.
“I’m serious. Everyone who loves you will always know who you are. Your ups and down, everything. You’re fucking amazing and no one can tell me otherwise.” Ferran says that as he let go of their embrace for a while and went to cup his boyfriend cheeks.
Pedri smiles softly. Oh, how he love his man…
“Yeah? You love me that much?” Pedri put a grin on that, but god knows how much his heart flutter.
“Fucking much, sweetheart.” Ferran smiles as he lean in to give a peck on Pedri’s lips.
Laugh flood their room instantly. “Good. I love you too.”
“I know. We will play our best tomorrow, okay? Just be yourself, don’t let those words confuse you on your own play.”
Pedri love Ferran like a breathe of air. He has been in love since the day he met him, even though he spent years of spiraling with his own feelings. By that, he learns about him like a book. He knows that Ferran is struggling too with much of critics towards him that even felt grow as an insults. Yet, his boyfriend still give him the biggest smile and courage like it’s the easiest thing.
“You too, shark.” Pedri smiles, leaving Ferran to have a cute aggression and kiss all part of his face.
Pedri giggles at the kisses, trying to get away before his heart explode. “Stooop.”
“You’re so cute.” Said Ferran as he leaving Pedri in peace. Pedri laughs, he settle himself to lean down and tap the small space beside him, hinting Ferran to sleep there. This damn double bed. They have agreed to sleep by themselves looking at how small the bed is, but it’s better to cramp a little rather than alone, right?
“Can i have the honor to be the little spoon for tonight?” Ferran ask and Pedri doesn’t have to think to say yes. Ferran needs comfort too even if he doesn’t always say it out loud. Pedri know it too well.
He place himself and hug Ferran from behind, placing kisses on his boyfriend neck. “I think you’ll be the one to score the winning goal tomorrow, you know.”
“Don’t give me hope, Pepi.”
“You deserve it more than anything, Ferri.”
“Yeah?”
“Hm-hm. Even so, i’ll always be proud of you, my big baby.” This time, Pedri press a kiss for a longer time on Ferran’s neck then another one on his shoulder.
“I love you.” Ferran smiles while closing his eyes.
“Love you more.”
They’ll be fine. No matter what the result is, their love will always be the same.
They should’ve been fine, right?
ꫂ᭪݁
Morning after, Pedri woke up feeling the older man’s weight on his chest. He looks down, smiling as Ferran’s sleeping face creeping to his eyes. He has too much affection for his man more than he expect.
He’s long accepted that he’s down bad, fortunately.
“Morning.” Pedri tries to wake him up by sneaking kisses to his fluffy hair. Which reminds him if they win the trophy today, Ferran will go bald. Deep down, it may caused by the jealousy upon hearing others talk about his man, especially after Ferran grows his hair.
Pedri can feel Ferran’s waking up as he give him more kisses on his hair. Out in public, Ferran may be the affectionate one. He touch him more, side with him more. Privately, Pedri does it all more. He loves to touch Ferran, he’s just scared to do it public. He can’t risk it, not right now, it’s not the right time.
“Morning, amor.” Ferran open his eyes, smiling widely.
“Ready to be champion?”
Ferran chuckle. “Sure.”
“Can you give me goodluck kiss later?”
“What?” Ferran’s make a confused face.
“Not on the lips!” Pedri quickly explain, not wanting him to misunderstand.
“Your side of lips, then?” Ferran said jokingly, eyes searching for flustered Pedri.
“Ferran, i’m serious!” Pedri let go of his pout and God, Ferran’s is not his greatest soldier to not go down with that cute little pout.
“Alright, alright. Just like this?” Ferran then lean in to kiss Pedri’s nape. Pedri hums, agreeing with it. “Yeah, just like that.”
“Should we take a picture together and post it on our page?”
“I’d like that.”
“Okay.”
“Hmm.”
Silence come after that. Not an uncomfortable one. They both love this. Waking up to each other arms, feeling each other as their skin touch. These simple things are keeping them good for a year.
“Ale will come with my family, you know it, right?” As Pedri mention his ‘girlfriend’, Ferran feels a tight on his chest. He know it’s for their best, their career, and everything. He just sometimes feel the world is unfair to not let him hold the one he love freely, but he’s fine. He should be. Ferran know how much love Pedri has for him, he know how much Pedri is trying. Things are just complicated as it is.
“I know.”
“I’m sorry. You know that i love you so much, right?” Pedri said as he kiss Ferran's lips softly. It's just a slow kiss, but Ferran can feel the love Pedri's trying to show him.
“I know, Pepi.”
“Good. Mom and Fer text me and they want me to tell you that they’ll be cheering for you too.”
“I have to win it then.”
Pedri laugh softly. “We, Ferran. We will.”
“Sounds nice.” Ferran put a smile just from imagining that. He'll be the happiest person on earth.
“Now wake up.”
Ferran groan to his chest as he snuggle more. “Can i just sleep a bit more? I don’t want to leave, your chest is so comfortable.”
“Should i just kill you and leave you here?”
“Mean!”