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Summary
Even on their first time, the moment Sungchan finished his business, he shook himself off and got up, asking Chanyoung if he wanted to wash first. When Chanyoung shook his head, Sungchan turned and headed for the bathroom without a moment's hesitation. Later, when he showered in the bathroom Sungchan had already warmed up, a deep sense of loneliness washed over him.
They had crossed the line long ago. They had done everything there was to do. And yet their relationship stubbornly refused to become more. Jung Sungchan, who acted like he would keep Chanyoung by his side for life but never gave him any title beyond ‘close dongsaeng’. Jung Sungchan, who would have sex with him but refused to kiss him. What do people call this? A fuck buddy? So that's all I was to you, hyung? Just someone to have sex with?
What Chanyoung had wanted was never that kind of passionless, awkward sex. He wanted everything that could be exchanged under the name of love with Jung Sungchan—kisses shared during sex, affectionate skinship, and not having Sungchan immediately get up and leave the moment it was over. He wanted him to stay by his side like in the movies. He didn’t want Sungchan to turn his back when they fell asleep together.