Chapter Text
'How are you handling the pain?'
AJ looks away- not expecting the question to make her feel so exposed
'Um...how uh. How did you know?' she asked, visibly shaken.
'All death aspect riders have the pain, its different for each of us... but, it sucks. I think you would agree to that.'
'Yeah I'm in- Wait. Are you in pain?'
'Yes'
'This makes a lot more sense... Umm. No yeah! I'm managing the pain absolutely fine! ya know. Apart from when im trying to sleep... Uh...Apart from when I'm walking around...Apart from the fact that I constantly feel like my skin is going inwards, the fact that my bones feel like they're moving constantly, and decaying, and rotting. Um but apart from that, it's fine... Perfect actually!'
'What about you... what does...it feel like for you?'
Osteon Exhales sharply 'My pain is... different, from yours. I feel everybody elses pain and everbody elses' potential pain. It's worsened when i am in close proximity to others... Which is why i am out on patrol so often'
'I see... okay so, this can't be helping' AJ says while looking at her feet.
'It's not. Especially because i feel everythig that you are feeling right now. But... It's nothing I'm not used to'
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Osteon suggests they take a trip to the lavender field as he's heard it can help to alleviate some of their pain.
'AJ... I wanted to speak with you about something I've heard other students talking about.'
'Is it about how I'm so kind and humble and how everyone loves me?'
'AJ.'
'Whatttt Osteon, is that not what they've been saying? They don't think I'm the best student at the acadamy? because let me tell you some of the things i've heard about the-'
Osteon gives AJ a thoughtful glance. 'AJ. Will you stop pacing and sit please.' They gesture vaguely at the ledge beside them.
'What. Why do you want me to stop pacing am i making you feel sick? Oh no poor Osteon maybe we should go back to the Acadamy..' She says hoping to avoid the subject she knows is inevitable.
'You're not very good at changing the subject you know. You'd think someone as avoidant as you would be smoother than this.'
'I dunno i think i've gotten quite good at it, since being here anyway,' she says taking a seat next to Osteon, and looking out at the hills.
'I thought being in close-proximity with me hurt you? And yet you're willingly sitting next to me right now... What's that about?'
'Yes well, i think we all have our ways of coping with the pain, hmm? Some more healthy than others...' they say, carefully eyeing AJ.
AJ looks down at themselves and tugs at their clothes 'Mm i guess.. So you like the pain then? Bit of a masochist hmmm'
'Well, I didn't say tha-'
'You didn't NOT say that though'
'I prefer feeling others pain. Helps to distract me from my own pain'
'Ah. I see, so... You're saying my company is helping you?'
'What would you do if it was?'
'...'
'AJ. I told you i could feel other peoples pain.'
'Yeah?'
'So you know that i know how you deal with it. Right?'
'Osteon i don-'
'I get it, out of everyone here i get it. But there are better ways to deal with it. Starvi-'
'I'm not starving myself.' she says quietly, turning her body slightly away, making herself smaller.
'I just. It's easier to deal with the pain i can control over the pain that i can't control. And anyway.. food is just an inconvenience. You're telling me i have to eat three meals a day so that i can what? be in pain for a longer period of time? At least when i.... Don't eat it's... it...No you know what. I dont need to tell you a Godamn thing' AJ says before getting up to leave.
Osteon sees AJ shutting down before she can stop it and sighs internally, he knew this was a potential outcome and there's normally a lot more thought that goes into their word choices but something about feeling that numbing pain that they were so. so used to made them snap.
'AJ. Come back'
AJ glances at them 'What.'
'At least let me walk you back to the acadamy... it's not safe to be walking alone when it's so dark' They say gesturing to the trees cloaked in darkness.
AJ looks around as if only just noticing the dramatic change in light level. 'Fine. Just no more of this.'
'Okay.'
'So... I'm your favourite student huh?'
'Probably my least favourite, actually'
'Yeah no that makes sence... i think i've only been to one class since being here'
'You've been here for Months....'
'Exactly'
Osteon sighs deeply "what am i gonna do with you, AJ" they think