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"Do you think I'm evil?" Eva asked out of the blue. They were sitting in her office, Grace was writing an email on his laptop, his glasses hanging askew on his face, as always. "Well, that for sure is a question" he mumbled, it was still pretty early and it seemed like he didn't fully wake up yet. "No, you're not evil, Eva. Why are you asking me such a ridiculous thing at barely 8 am?" he was the only person on the vat that called her by her first name, only when they were alone. "They're calling me Stratt, the destroyer of the world on the internet" she said and showed him her laptop screen. She had it open on some tabloid website where adds took 80% of the screen space. "Eva Stratt, the head of the Project Hail Mary is trying to save the world from Sun eating aliens. Or at least that's what we thought she was doing before she decided to destroy Antarctica" Grace read the first line of the so called article. "Jeez, please tell me you don't care about all of this" he said and looked at her over, now put correctly on his nose, glasses. This look always made her feel a little week in the knees so she was thankful she was sitting down. "No, of course not, I know what I'm doing and why am I doing it. I am just surprised that people can't understand that". They nuked the Antarctica to slow down the cooling of the climate few days ago. It wasn't entirely her decision, she consulted it with a lot of scientists but since she was the one to sing the order she was fully responsible for it. Which she knew and didn't have an issue with taking all of the blame. However she didn't think people will start blaming her for it in such short time, let alone that the blame will come from the general public not the government officials. "You are not evil, you are just a woman on a very high position and people generally don't like that" said Grace and Eva nodded in response, he was right. She knew being a woman didn't make things easier for her. She spend few sleepless nights thinking about how different things would be if she was a man but ultimately she found the whole wondering about it pointless. "Beside" Grace said while closing his laptop "if you were to be the most evil person in the world you would have minions".
"A what?"
"You know, those yellow creatures that look like giant tic-tacs with huge glasses on that always serve the worst villain they can find"
"Grace, are you okay?" she asked holding back her laughter. He was clearly still not fully awake.
"Yeah, why?"
"Nothing, sorry." she shook her head. "Well, you wear that yellow coat of yours a lot and you do wear glasses and you do spend awful lot of your time with me doing my orders so I guess you are my minion" she said softly which immediately annoyed her, it wasn't suppose to come out that way but she was a very soft person and her feelings for Grace might've been the softest part of her.
"I guess I am, can't argue with that" he said looking at his shoes but she could hear he was smiling "On the topic of serving I was about to get coffee, do you want some?"
"Of course I do"
It was one of those long days at the vat that blended with the others. Lots of work, lots of meetings, lots of asking rich powerful men for money. Stratt's head was pounding, she couldn't wait to go to sleep. It was almost 11pm when she decided she was done for the day. Walking to her room she bumped into Grace.
"Long day?" he asked. He sounded very sleepy.
"As usual. What are you doing so late?"
"I had to run some more tests" he said "Aaand I might've fallen asleep in the lab, for just 10 minutes"
Eva frowned "Don't overwork yourself, please"
He looked at her over his glasses "Hi pot, meet the kettle"
"I'm not going to comment on that" she said opening the door to her room "Goodnight, Ryland"
"Sweet dreams, Eva" he answered and they both vanished behind the doors of their cabins.
The alarm rang at exactly 6am, Eva opened her eyes just to see two and a half pairs of eyes staring back at her.
"Bello!"
She let out a high pitched scream. "What the fuck is going on, who are you?" she jumped out of the bed, almost falling over. Three fairly small, yellow figures gasped and took a step back. They were all wearing googles and overalls. If she wasn't so distressed she could even say they were adorable in a very strange way.
"Eva, what's going on? Oh my god, are you fudging kidding me?" Grace appeared in her door, he must've hear her screaming. "It's them!"
"Who's them?"
"The minions! They found you!"
"Grace I need you to be clearer, what the hell are you talking about?" she managed to calm down a little but her voice was still raised.
"The minions! Remember, you asked me yesterday if I thought you are evil and I said no and that if you were you would attract those little guys" he pointed at the creatures. "Hi, my name is Ryland Grace, welcome to the vat! What's your name?" he crouched slightly and held out a hand to the tallest minion.
"Ah, bello! Me llamo Kevin-o" said the tallest minion "Bob e Stuart" he continued pointing at his two companions. "We here por Ms Stratt!"
"We figured" Grace looked at Eva still standing in the corner of her room. "Why now though?"
"Antarctica boom! Baddo, no bueno!" all three of them shook their heads. Stratt hidden her face in her hands.
"So you think I'm evil?" she asked "That I'm the worst person on Earth?" Grace looked at the minions with a warning look which to his delight and surprise they immediately understood.
"No no, miss Stratt-o no baddo, nuke-o Antarcitca baddo" said the smallest one while approaching her. She was already standing in the corner and couldn't back up any further. "We help-a tu, porfavore?" minion looked with her with tears in his gigantic eyes. She couldn't say no. She looked at Grace, he was standing there in his pajamas, covering his mouth with both this hands, his shoulders were shaking and he clearly tried not to burst out in laughter. Eva shoot him a disappointing glance which made him shake even more.
"Okay Bob, is that your name, Bob?" she wasn't sure.
"Si, si!"
"Okay, thank you Bob, I am not sure how you got here and why but I will allow you to stay…" the boys, including a grown man who was the second most important person on the mission started to clap in excitement "…for one day, tomorrow we will decide what to do with you"
"Bank you, boss, bank you" screamed the minions and run to her for a hug that she accepted with hesitation. At this point Grace was full on laughing.
"Okay, could you please all leave so I can get ready for the day?"
"Oh, no help-o?" asked Stuart. She wondered why did he only had one eye.
"No, no help-o, I can and prefer to do it myself"
"Come one guys, let's go. Are you perhaps hungry?" asked Grace. His middle school teacher experience finally came in handy.
"Ooooo, me want a banana!" said Bob and the rest of them followed "Si si, banana banana"
"Sure, we can have some bananas. God, Carl is going to flip out"
They left the room leaving Stratt in state of shock. Her mind was spinning, weirdly not because of the presence of three yellow creatures but because of what they said about her not being evil but her actions. Wasn't that equal? She was already running behind the schedule, she forced herself to get ready and get down to cafeteria to get coffee.
Minions were already there surrounded by the rest of the vat's crew. Everyone wanted to take closer look at them. When the creatures saw her approaching they immediately stopped entertaining the crowd and ran toward her "Bello, bello boss Stratt!"
"Hi… boys?" she wasn't sure what to call them.
"Help-o, boss Stratt? Porfavor?" they practically started begging her "We here to help-o"
"Okay, you can help I guess, could you please get me some coffee?" if they really insisted on helping her she could've use them.
"Si si, coffee-o, si si!" they excitedly said while running to fetch her the drink.
"I can't believe you let them stay" Grace showed up behind her with an empty tray "I was sure they will be out of the vat before you drink your first Stratt's special"
"What is Stratt's special?" she asked, giving him a suspicious look.
"Don't try to change the subject. It's two cups of coffee drank at once."
She tried not to smile. "They can stay for today, I don't have time and space for figuring out what to do with them. Are you busy today? If not could you please take care of them?"
"I would love to but I'm afraid that they will not leave your side, they're here to help-o you".
"I guess you're right, could you at least work in close proximity to keep an eye on them in case they start acting up while I'm busy?"
"Sure, boss, I am also your minion after all" he said while walking away to put his dishes on the rack for the dirty ones.
"I guess you are" she said to herself. The minions were on their way to her with two cups of coffee and bunch of bananas.
"Boss, boss, coffe-o e banana para tu!" said the tallest one.
"Thank you… Kevin?"
"Si si, Kevin! Poka now?" they were all practically visibly buzzing with excitement.
"Now we go to my office and we work."
"Oooo, okay-o!"
She turned and started walking out of the cafeteria, minions were right behind her and she could see in the window's reflection that Grace joined this strange march.
"Let me just grab my things from the lab, Stuart would you mind helping me?"
"Si, no problem-o papagena"
"Whatever you say, kid" Grace was clearly charmed by the boys, she wondered if they reminded him of his students.
She walked into her office and sat behind the desk, Bob and Kevin stood beside her, staring at her and waiting for the next orders.
"Uhmmm, thank you, boys. You can go sit there on the couch for now" she didn't know what they more they could do. All she had planned for today was emails and online meetings, they won't help her much with that. The only thing they could be useful for was bringing her coffee but she still didn't finish her first "Stratt's special" so they had to wait a bit for that task.
Grace came back with Stuart and his laptop and stack of papers, he put all of that on Eva's desk and sat opposite her, she didn't remember when he started doing this but every time he had emails to send and admin job to do he would keep her company like that. She didn't mind it, the sound of another person typing on a keyboard was comforting to her. Grace's presence was comforting to her. "Thank you Stuart, great job, I think you can go sit down with your friends now" one eyed minion listened to Grace's order and plopped on the couch next to Bob.
They were quietly working for what must have been fifteen minutes when she heard a deep sigh. She turned her head to the couch just to see the minions looking like they were bored out of their minds. "It's been fifteen minutes, you're already bored?"
"Si, boss, si! Tatata bala tu no doing!" cried Bob which she guessed meant that they don't like sitting down doing nothing.
"Okay, I really don't need you know unless you know how to write in perfect English?" she would actually appreciate if they could type emails for her, she was sick of looking at the screen. Unfortunately, they all shook their heads.
"Okay, how about that, maybe you could go help in the cafeteria?" she figured it would be the place where there's a lot of work that doesn't include a lot of scientific knowledge.
"Oooo, si boss, ti amo banana, bella tutu kitchene!"
"Great, fantastic" she clapped her hands, she had no idead what they were saying "Grace, would you mind?"
"No, of course not" he said already standing up. He really might've been her first minion.
He came back after 10 minutes, holding two more coffee's and some bananas. "They insisted I take them to feed their boss"
"That's… adorable? I wonder if it's all they eat"
"No, they also eat at least ice cream, when they were showed the freezer they started screaming 'Gelato' and they ran head first into the freezers doors. They're fine, no one was hurt."
"Well, that's good" she was listening to him with one ear "sorry, I have to focus on work, I have a meeting about additional funding in couple of hours, I need to be prepared."
"You are always prepared" he said and tapped her hand in reassuring way. For the next twenty minutes it was all she could think about.
An hour passed, Grace was rereading and fixing his last report and Eva was comparing financial statuses from last few months when the door of the office suddenly opened with great force by the cafeteria's main chef. He was furious, his white apron was no longer white, covered with food stains. "Get those little devils out of my kitchen!"
"Jeez, what happened?" Grace asked looking at the minions that were also all covered in various kinds of food.
"What happened? Those motherfucking…"
"Hey, language!"
"…minions of yours decided it would be fun to start a food battle. They also ate all of the ice cream."
"Te amo gelato" said Bob. The chef looked at him with daggers in his eyes. Bob immediately ran to Grace and hide behind his legs.
"Okay, was anyone hurt?"
"No, but the kitchen is a mess, I can't work in this conditions!"
"Understandable. Boys, what do you think, what should we do now?" he got to their eye level.
"Sorry, chef-o" they apologized to the cook. "We help-o cleaning"
"That's right, good. I will go with you and make sure you won't make any more damage." he took two of them by their little hands and walked out the office.
"He would make a great father" Eva whispered to herself and quickly shoo that thought away.
When Grace came back to the office he found Eva sitting at her chair, practically folded in half "Hey, Eva, Eva, please look at me" he knelled in front of her and took removed her hands from her face, she was crying. "Oh, darling, what happened?" he stared wiping the tears with his thumbs.
"I'm evil Grace, that happened, I am the destroyer of the world". she sniffled. Grace handed her a pack of tissues from his pocket. "Thank you"
"Eva, you're not evil, I thought we already discussed that. Why do you suddenly care so much about it" he said rubbing her arm.
"I don't know, first those articles, then the minions, now those government people"
"What government people?"
"The ones from the call I just had. They said they're not sure if they want to fund the project because they suspect at this rate I will ruin the planet before the astrophage could"
"That's bullshit Eva, and you know it" Eva shot him a surprised look, she never heard him swearing, he looked angry "you are not destroying the planet, you're making sure we will survive until we have the solution to fix the real problem, that doesn't make you evil"
"But…"
"There's no but, Eva. The decisions your making and the actions that follow them are not evil, yes, they might seem controversial but they're not malicious. Eva, you're doing all of this because you are so full of love, for humanity, for Earth. Quite the opposite of evil if you ask me" he was still rubbing both of her arms now "And the minions? I talked to them and I gathered that they chose you because you are the most powerful person in the world, not because you're bad, they got confused I guess because historically speaking most powerful people weren't exactly good people. Plus they think you're very pretty." he managed to get out a very faint smile out of her "You are our only chance Eva, I know that technically the astronauts are our only chance but without you the whole thing would crumble. So if our only chance includes nuking Antarctica and taking some of the Sahara to make an astrophage farm so be it. And if people don't understand that so what, they will forget about that the second the mission ends with success and I fully believe, with all my heart that it will be successful"
"Why?" she was still sniffling. She hated that Grace was seeing her in this state.
"Because I believe in you, Eva Stratt" he said looking straight into her eyes. Something shifted inside of her, some doors in her mind opened. His face was so close she could count the freckles on his nose. If she leaned just a little bit she could kiss him, and well, she really wanted to. She would lie if she said she didn't though about kissing him before. Before she could've act on it they heard a loud crash. Grace instinctively pushed her away and covered them with his yellow coat. They looked at source of the noise, three minions on a electric cart that crew used to rid around the vat. Somehow they managed to shatter the glass wall of Eva's office.
"Oh oh, upsi, hehe!" said Kevin and waved to Eva and Grace standing with eyes wide open in the corner of the room.
"Grace, what just happened?"
"I left them with Ilyukhina for five minutes"
The vat's crew spend rest of the day on fixing the mess minions created. Eva's office was unusable until the windows got fixed so she moved with her work to the lab. Bob, Kevin and Stuart promised to behave for the rest of the day, currently they were playing jenga with Carl in a room inside the lab that was covered with soundproof glass, hopefully harder to break then her office's windows. She could see them jumping around the room and occasionally getting angry when they lost the game.
"Last time I saw Carl this happy was when we made a baby"
"What?" she didn't notice Grace was staring at her.
"Are you okay?" he asked, he looked worried.
"I'm fine, thank you. And sorry. About earlier"
"Apology not accepted, there is nothing to be sorry for"
"Yes, there is, you shouldn't have seen me like this. Frankly, I shouldn't even be reacting like this to all of that" she shook her head.
"Eva, you're working under an insane amount of pressure, you are a human and it's not weird that your nervous system finally snapped. Honestly I am shocked it took it so long. You're very strong, Eva"
"Thank you, I guess" she was pulling the sleeves of her sweater. She had hard times taking hearing compliments and praise from others, especially from people who's opinion she cared about. "Actually, Grace, I wanted to ask you something"
"What's up?"
"Did you call me 'darling' earlier today?"
His face, even his ears, immediately turned red. He didn't even have to answer the question, she already knew she heard him correctly before.
"Oh… Oh, look! I think Carl needs our help!" he said with relief and ran to help his friend. He wasn't lying, Carl was banging on the door and probably screaming for help. Stuart was hanging on his elbow and Kevin was on his head, covering his eyes. Bob was in the corner throwing jenga pieces at them. Stratt made a mental note that the glass they used to build the room was working exceptionally well.
The night finally came. Eva was exhausted, she couldn't wait to get into her bed. Normally she had issues with falling asleep but she felt in her bones tonight will be different.
"I'm done for today, goodnight, doctor Grace" she stood up closing her laptop "Actually, can I leave all of this here until tomorrow?"
"Sure, if by everything you mean everything but them" he pointed into a corner where all three of the minions were peacefully sleeping "we can't leave them here, God knows what they will come up with once they wake up"
"Oh my, you're right. What are we going to do with them?"
"I don't know, you're the boss" he said and spin on his chair.
"And you are my minion so you will help me with that"
They decided that the best solution will be to close them in the soundproof room and tell the overnight security to keep an eye on them. They grabbed some spare pillows and blankets from their rooms and made them into a cozy looking nest. They managed to transfer Kevin and Stuart without waking them up but Bob opened his eyes as soon as Eva touched him "Boss Stratt?"
"Yes, that's me Bob, listen to me closely now. I will put you with your friends in that room and will lock the door, okay? You will spend the night there and in the morning we will figure out what to do next, okay?"
"Okay-o boss, you so papagena" he said touching her cheek, she found it incredibly funny and touching at the same time. And she didn't even know what papagena means. She put him in the middle of the nest, covered all three of them with a blanket, closed the door and turned the lock on. They stood there with Grace for a bit looking at the creatures.
"I can't lie, they're so cute when they lie like this" she said
"They are adorable, I want to squish them, I have cuteness aggression when I look at them, I can't help it"
"Cuteness aggression?"
"Yes, it's a feeling you get when you see something so cute that you want to hold it very tightly Or bite it." he explained
"Yeah, I get it" she said. She didn't mention that she gets it because she has this feeling sometimes when she looks at him. They turned away from the minions enclosure, turned off all the lights and left the lab. They were quiet on the walk to their cabins.
"Goodnight, Eva" said Grace opening his door
"Wait, Grace" she stopped him "thank you, for everything, for today"
"My pleasure" he said and bowed. They were standing still for a moment. Eva thought she needs to hug him and before she could change her mind her arms were around Grace's neck. She could feel that he was shocked by that sudden act of affection but after couple second she could feel him relax. One of his hands was on her back, squeezing her body closer to his, the other hand was caressing her hair. She doesn't know how long they were standing there like this. Could've been seconds, could've been hours. Since she started it she decided that she needs to be the one to end it. She unwrapped her arms from him, not without hesitation. "Goodnight, doctor Grace" she said and quickly entered her room before she had a chance to do something even more stupid.
Eva woke up the second the alarm clock started ringing. She felt unusually anxious but she blamed it on the crazy, insanely detailed dream she had in which she was the world's biggest villain, no wait, scratch that, most powerful person according to some small, yellow, very annoying yet disturbingly cute creatures. The dream felt so extremely real that she was surprised that her room looked normal, tidy as usual with no sight of minions. She huffed, "I spend way to much time with Grace" when she remembered the other parts of the dream, the one where she almost kissed him and the one where she hugged him. She didn't have time to unpack all of that, she had a world to save or, as some people apparently believed, to destroy.
She had to share that dream (the minions part only, of course) with Grace though. She knew it would make him laugh and anytime she was the reason for his laughter she felt weirdly proud of herself and she could've use that little boost of confidence right now. Walking to the lab she heard a muffled song, in a language she didn't recognize except of the word 'underwear'. She could hear Carl's voice and maybe Grace's, there was also at least one other person that sounded like they inhaled helium. She shook her head, normally she would get angry for using the resources for anything else then astrophage research but lately the days on the vat were dragging on for so long she wasn't surprised that people started acting up. She could hear Grace's laughter from the lab as she was opening the door. "Grace, you won't believe what dream I had last ni…." she said when her eyes landed on three yellow, tic-tac shaped creatures that instantly screamed "Bello, Ms Stratt! Coffee-o?".