Chapter Text
A tall, brunette man lay in his bed, having just woken up. He stared up at the ceiling with empty brown eyes, as dark as the abyss. His thoughts must’ve been just as dark, too. He couldn’t give an explanation for the weird feeling in the back of his mind. There was just something so off about today. He didn’t know if it was the way he slept, or maybe something else. All he knew was that this wasn’t going to end well.
The tall man, Dazai, got up from his bed. As much as he’d love to lay there all day, he had work to do. He grabbed some clean clothes from his laundry bin and made his way to his bathroom. He removed his clothes and then his bandages, revealing the scars hidden underneath. Raised white scars littered his limbs. A giant scar ran from the top of his shoulder down to right above his hip on the opposite side. These scars were a constant reminder of how he used to be. But, he wasn’t like that anymore and he didn’t plan on going back to his old ways. He stepped into the shower and cleaned himself off.
Once he was at work, there didn’t seem to be anything to do but paperwork. He sat down and began to type away on the computer. Paperwork was oh so boring. He wanted to annoy Kunikida instead. Kunikida was always a fun target for more reasons than one. Such as his extreme reactions, the way he choked Dazai, and maybe, just maybe, Dazai bullied the people he had feelings for. But, it’s not like Kunikida would ever betray his ideals to admit he like Dazai even if he did like him back.
“Kunikida-Kun…” Dazai whispered, poking Kunikida’s side. Kunikida tried to ignore him, he really did. But, Dazai kept poking his side and whispering his name into his ear.
“What?! Can’t you see I’m busy?!” The even taller blonde-haired man shouted. His reactions were so predictable yet so fun to watch. Dazai always got a kick out of them.
“Yes, that’s exactly why I made it my mission to annoy you!” Dazai grinned teasingly.
Kunikida responded to this with violence, he wrapped his hand around Dazai’s neck and squeezed. Dazai smiled even wider, his eyes reflecting the pure bliss he was in. Dazai quite enjoyed it when this man choked him, there was no better feeling in the entire world. Kunikida finally gave up on choking him, releasing his grip and letting go. Dazai frowned almost imperceptively, he missed Kunikia’s hands around his neck already.
“Just get back to work, will you?” Kunikida sighed in resignation, pushing his glasses up with one finger.
“Fine…” Dazai sighed dramatically as he went back to doing his boring paperwork.
Dazai types and types, letting out a bored yawn. He was getting quite tired. He began to hear muttering off in the distance. He ignored it, chopping it up to people outside or something. He could swear he heard one call his name, but it must’ve just been his imagination. Hearing the occasional name calling from the distance had grown a bit too normal to Dazai.
The paperwork was almost done, he could feel the end coming near. He could almost taste the freedom. But, he was so tired. His eyes grew heavy and his head fell onto the desk with a light thud. Dazai closed his eyes and drifted off to sleep.
Kunikida came over and tapped Dazai’s shoulder aggressively, waking him up instantly.
“Wake up, you bandage-wasting imbecile!” The tall, blonde man shouted at Dazai, spit getting on the brunette’s face. He was being so much more harsh than usual.
“What do you waaaant?” Dazai groaned in pure boredom. He just didn’t feel like getting up, that required too much work.
He turned his head over to see that Kunikida was ripping his face off in frustration. His flesh became exposed, terrifying Dazai to his core. Dazai was as frozen as a block of ice, his heart pounded on his chest from the inside. Atsushi came over, dropped his papers, and screamed in absolute horror. The scream was blood-curdling and it only increased Dazai’s terror. He didn’t know what to do. What was happening?
…
Dazai jolted awake, his forehead cold and dampened with sweat. He glanced around the office before his eyes landed on Kunikida. Kunikida’s brown eyes were focused on nothing but the work in front of him. That was usual for that man, though. His eyes shifted to Dazai upon realizing he was being watched.
“Something wrong, Dazai? You seem a bit on edge.” Kunikida narrowed his eyes in slight concern. Despite his harshness sometimes, Kunikida actually cared about Dazai quite a bit, and Dazai knew this. But, Dazai wasn’t exactly sure how deeply he actually cared about him. That was because, in his mind, he wasn’t easy to care for.
“No, I’m okay.” Dazai gave his usual smile, which didn’t ease the taller man’s concern at all. But, Kunikida knew he’d get nowhere if he pressed further, so he decided to stop the subject.
“Alright, well, I’m here if you need to talk.” Kunikida went back to typing on his desk top computer.
“Thanks.” Dazai looked back at his computer, not really working, just staring into the abyss. He had a tendency to zone out sometimes but it had started to get worse. His thoughts were just so unfocused and all over the place. His mind had become a muddled place of darkness. He could hear the slight muttering of voices in some place far away but also nearby. He ignored it, it was probably nothing to be concerned about.
“Oh, Dazai.” Kunikida looked up from his computer once more. His voice snapped Dazai out of the trance he was in.
“Hm?” Dazai looked over at the other man, tilting his head at an 80 degree angle.
“We have an important mission in two days…” Kunikida’s voice seemed to turn into a jumbled mess of words in Dazai’s head. Dazai nodded his head when it felt right and caught some of it. There was a mission, someone infiltrated a warehouse, they had to stop them, That was simple enough.
…
Once he was back home, he kicked his shoes off and went to his kitchen. The mumbling seemed a little louder now that he was in a quiet setting. His kitchen was much like the rest of his apartment, sparse. Nothing in his living space suggested he was permanent. He had been living like this for years though, nothing new. He opened his cupboard to see that he was out of canned crab. His stomach rumbled in protest at the emptiness, seeking to be filled.
Ignoring his stomach’s growls of anger, he opened a different cupboard and pulled out a glass. He stared at the glass for a moment before putting it back, he didn’t feel like dealing with dishes later. He opened his fridge and pulled out a bottle of cheap, hard liquor. He unscrewed the cap and took a few big sips, feeling it burn down his throat.
After putting it away, he made his way to his room and laid on the mattress that was on the floor. He didn’t even bother to change into more comfortable clothes. What was the point of that, anyway? The mumbling was still unintelligible but he could feel the malice. They were telling him to hurt himself, he just knew it. But he hasn’t done that since he was around 19 or 20 and he wasn’t going to do it now.
He pulled the covers up to his shoulders, shielding himself from the cold of the night. After a bit of tossing and turning, he finally felt sleep taking over. Not that his night would be restful or anything. But, at least he was sleeping.