Chapter Text
Brendon has always been a guy of routine, and when his routine get’s ruined his whole flow is messed up.
Brendon was listening to Never Shout Never while getting ready for school. He was wearing low rise skinny jeans, a random band shirt, a belt and his red glasses. Brendon also put on some eyeliner before going downstairs.
He had his headphones in and packing his bag before leaving, but then he heard a loud beep coming from outside of his house.
“What the hell?”
He looks outside the window and sees that his side of the sidewalk that he walks on is being redone. So that means he’ll have to walk with Ryan.
Brendon and Ryan had mutual feelings of hatred for each other since 6th grade. It was for a stupid reason though. Brendon made up a stupid rumor about Ryan. They haven’t been friends since.
Brendon made up a rumor about how Ryan’s dad didn’t love him or something stupid like that. His memory was a little fuzzy. But Brendon thinks he got super mad about it because it was true. It wasn’t his business anymore though. The damage was already done.
Brendon went downstairs and then puts his shoes on. His mom Grace, was in the kitchen making breakfast for him and his siblings.
“Brendon! Come get some food before you leave” his mom called out
“And also, you’re going to have to walk on the other sidewalk today. They’re redoing it.”
“I know mom I saw.. it’s stupid how I have to walk with Ryan” He mumbled under his breath while taking a piece of toast and bacon.
“What did you say?” Grace looked at him like he personally offended her.
“I didn’t say anything, mom.”
“You know we don’t use those words in this house! Also you and Ryan haven’t properly talked in years”
He discreetly rolls his eyes, waving dismissively.
“Bye, mom.”
______________
Brendon is already out the door before his mom can lecture him, ready to face the whole sidewalk situation.
When Brendon walks down the house’s steps, he quickly crosses the street before he notices Ryan.
He walks with his head down, still listening to music. He runs into the back of someone.
He looks up and it’s no other than Ryan.
“Watch where you’re going, dude” Ryan says with distain, looking at him with an unreadable expression.
“Maybe your head should be up when you’re walking,” Brendon says, the comeback strange against his tongue, considering he avoids as much conversation with Ryan as possible.
They continue walking to the bus stop awkwardly without saying anything, the tension palpable but continuing unnoticed. Once they get to the bus stop, waiting impatiently, Ryan suddenly looks up, staring at Brendon and says;
“You look like a fucking fag. You know that, right?”
Brendon stares at him blankly, his harsh words hitting him harder than expected. He looks down, swallowing tears threatening to fall and staying silent.
Brendon’s sexuality has always been difficult for him, knowing his Mormon parents would never support him if he ever came out as anything. Ryan didn’t know that, but it still hurt. Especially coming from him.
Once the bus gets there, Ryan and Brendon get on without saying a word to each other. Brendon sits in the front to avoid Ryan and his friends, that Brendon secretly envied, and their instigations.
The bus ride is peaceful considering Brendons seat and his quiet music playing in his ears. Minutes pass, and they all get off and head to class. Brendon goes to find his best friend, Dallon.
Brendon walks to his locker quickly, grabbing his stuff for class before feeling a tap on his shoulder.
“Hey man, what’s up?” Dallon says, studying over Brendons frustrated and tired demeanor. “You look rough. All good?”
“Thank god you’re here. I need to tell you something.” He says dramatically, pulling him aside and walking around the halls to who knows where.
“So I go outside to walk to the bus stop, and my side of the sidewalk is being redone. I had to walk with Ryan and he said I looked like a fucking fag! Can you believe it? That bitch had the audacity to tell me I looked like that while he looks like he gets head from 5 different guys a night!” Brendon says, his hands gesturing rapidly as he talks, obviously pressed about it.
Dallon laughs slightly, watching him talk. “Brendon, the way you talk seems like you care a lot about it. Plus, you do look pretty gay.”
Brendon rolls his eyes, scoffing. “Thanks Dallon. You’re a great help.” He shakes his head, walking forward
“Brendon! Dude wait I’m sorry I just- I didn’t I wanna lie to you. I was just kidding around.”
“It’s fine.” Brendon says trying to walk off again.
“I have to get to class now…I’ll see you in lunch.”
Brendon walks off before Dallon can say anything back.
______________
Brendon goes into class, focusing on his studies for the time ahead. Finally, lunch comes around.
He meets up with Dallon per usual, not speaking much considering that morning. Dallon feels guilty, glancing at him occasionally before saying
“Brendon I’m sorry about what happened this morning and I-“
“Dallon, really. Iit’s fine.”
“Im sorry. I just didn’t know what to say. Both of you guys are my friends.”
“Seriously. It’s fine”
Dallon and Brendon eat the rest of their lunch together in silence.
______________
Once lunch ends, Brendon leaves and heads to his last couple classes. He remembers he has gym with Ryan today. Usually, Brendon, Ryan, Dallon, and Spencer all skip gym together, but Dallon and Spencer were skipping in the bathroom, probably lighting a joint or something.
Brendon finds Ryan sitting behind the bleachers, staring at a specific spot, deliberately avoiding eye contact.
Brendon doesn’t comment, sitting next to him and fidgeting with his hands, clearly not knowing what to say in response of Ryans comment earlier.
Suddenly, Ryan says;
“I’m sorry.”
Brendon pauses immediately, looking at Ryan, confused and still slightly frustrated, not even knowing how to respond.
Ryan finally meets his gaze, staring at him blankly.
“Brendon…seriously. I shouldn’t have said that to you earlier. Especially when i know how it feels to-“
He cuts himself off, immediately breaking eye contact, fighting words that won’t escape his mouth.
Brendon raises an eyebrow, looking at him
“…to what?”
Ryan swallows, Brendons eyes following the movement of his throat.
“…To be gay. To hide it.”
They sit in silence for a minute, Brendon’s whole mindset changing.
“…you…how did you know I was gay?”
“…I…overheard you telling Dallon about it a few months ago.”
Brendon looks away, staring at the spot Ryan was looking at earlier.
Ryan looks at Brendon, thinking but not saying anything.
They meet each other’s gaze, something in them only they could decipher.
Suddenly, Ryan grabs Brendon’s collar, gently but firmly, and presses his lips against his.
Their lips crash against each other’s, years of frustration and fear of rejection only they can feel.
Brendon cups Ryan’s face, kissing deeply, with a hint of hatred only Ryan could taste.
They pull away at the same time, panting softly, staring at each other, their expressions unreadable.
Brendon stands up first, wiping his mouth and running a hand through his hair.
“This doesn’t change anything about us. I hate you.”
Those words hit Ryan harder than expected, but he ignores it, nodding.
“…I hate you too.”
Ryan stands, both looking at each other.
The bell rings at what it seems like universally timed.