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Ilya groans the moment he wakes up— the consequences of all his actions the night before and his age catching up to him all at once. The Centaurs had won the Stanley Cup on Home Ice and instead of celebrating at a club, they decided to celebrate in the house of their married Captain and Alternate Captain.
The blonde was starting to regret that decision now, because a house party may have made the team a little too… reckless with their alcohol consumption. Since they were in a house and not in public. Fuck.
Ilya grunts, looking at the analog clock on his side table to check the time and it said it was already past 12, closer to 1. Knowing the rest of the team, none of them were awake yet. With great difficulty, Ilya painfully shifts in the bed, reaching his arm out for his husband.
"Solnyshko… we have to wake every one up and clean up the house."
But only, his hand feels nothing but air and the flat unrumpled side of the bed.
There was no one there. His husband wasn't there.
Did he wake up before him? But usually Shane would leave his side messy for Ilya to fix up because he knows Ilya loves to do that.
Something stirs deep within Ilya's gut. Something was wrong.
Ignoring the pounding in his head, Ilya forced himself out of bed, stumbling out of their bedroom.
Limping as he walked down the hall, he avoids tripping on the limp body of Alex Young sprawled on the floor, passed out, empty red cup still in his hand. Alright, so that was one teammate, Ilya makes the count in his head.
The further he limped down the hall and took count. All the guest rooms were wide open, with no one inside, but Haasy and Pointey were wrapped in each other's arms outside one guest bathroom, and from the open door, Ilya can see from inside, Holmberg's head slumped over the toilet seat. There were green and blue empty bottles of liquor rolling on the floor.
There were more rookies piled up, hugging Nicky. And— Ilya squints— is that Bood, laying down shirtless on the kitchen island covering his face with a metal bowl?
On the couch, Harris and Troy were there, looking terribly uncomfortable, but Troy was holding hands with Hazy from the other couch. Don't even get Ilya started on Boyle who was sleeping on Anya's dog bed, which would upset Anya once she comes home from her grandparent's house.
Look at all this mess! Look at all this chaos!
Shane would spend the entire day in despair, angrily forcing everyone to clean up but Shane isn't anywhere in the house to do that!
Shane didn't sleep beside him and Shane was nowhere to be found!
Ilya woke everyone in the house with a loud, panicked shout.
"MOY LYUBIMMY!?"
Ilya's face was burried into his hands as his husband's stuff were piled on the coffee table in front of him. Beside him, Harris was shakily drinking a glass of water. They search around the house, none of Shane's shoes were missing, he left his phone, and the reading glasses were left untouched by Shane's bedside table.
Where was his husband?
"It's all gonna be alright, Ilya. Shane is fine, I'm sure of it." Troy says as he sits by the vacant spot on the couch. "He's a tough guy, he's probably alright."
Ilya takes a deep breath, straightening himself up. "The rest of the team is out searching, and yet he isn't found. You don't just lose someone like that, Troy…"
"Cap, we found something!"
Ilya's head snap up to look at the nervous rookies, baby faced and bright-eyed.
"Yes, Jonny?" He asks.
"Well, we found an extra SUV parked outside. At first we thought it was Shane's SUV, but you don't have two SUVs, and the plate number is from Quebec, not Ontario!" The rookie points at the window, where the vehicle was parked.
"How would you know if it just wasn't an old car of Shane's?" Harris asks, gently.
"Wait no— Shane sold the SUV he used for Montreal months ago. Yes, we don't have any car with a Quebec plate number anymore" Ilya frowns, rubbing his aching head, until he remembered an important detail. "Wait…"
He turns to Troy.
"It wasn't just the team that was here, right?"
Troy takes a second, squinting. "If I remember correctly, Pike and Boiziau came by sometime last night."
"Does it have car seats for kids?" Ilya asked the rook.
Jonny shouts out to the window. "Hams, does the car have car seats for kiddos?"
A voice calls from outside. "Seems like it!"
"Yeah, there are." Jonny nods.
"That's Pike's SUV, then." Ilya snaps his fingers. "Mystery solved. Shane is with Pike."
"And where is Pike, if his car is here?" Troy raises an eyebrow.
"Boiziau!" Ilya chirps, phone already open and scrolling through his contacts for J.J.'s number.
J.J. makes a rather disgusting burp as he answers the phone, hungover and murderous towards the person who awoke him from his slumber.
"'Allo? Rozanov?"
"Gross. Where are your manners, Boiziau?"
"Crisse, Rozanov. I will end the call." As he goes to press the red button, Ilya's frantic shouting stops him.
"No, no, no, wait! I called for a reason!"
J.J. presses the phone back to his ear. "What do you want?" He sighs.
"Is Pike and Shane with you?"
He blinks.
"Why the fuck would they be with me? I'm still here in Ottawa."
"What!?" Ilya exclaims.
"Yeah, man. I came here with Hayden, but Hayden still wanted to party with Shane. So I took a Lyft to Starburst Inn." J.J. picks at an ingrown hair on his thigh.
"So Hayden and Shane were still here when you left?" Ilya asks.
"Osti! I just said, Rozanov! Let me sleep!" J.J. snaps, ending the call, before snuggling deeper into his blanket.
"So… they're not with J.J. either." Harris bites his lip.
"No." Ilya's clutches his phone tightly.
"Even I could've guessed that." Troy says from one corner of the room.
Ilya snaps his head towards his direction, giving Troy the meanest death stare he could muster while looking utterly pathetic.
"My husband is missing, Barrett! I do not need your comments right now."
"Well, I think you need to take a deep breath and drink some water!" Troy points at him.
Ilya runs his hands through his hair. "I can't! I can't breath without my husband by my side! He quenches my thirst! He ends my hunger!" Then he opens his phone again. "I have to post about this." He mutters to himself.
"Woah." Harris whispers behind him, looking inspired and somewhat concerned. "Maybe don't—"
"Alright, fine Shakespeare!" Troy throws his hands up. "But don't you realize you're not the only whose husband is missing!?"
Ilya blinks at him.
Troy groans, pinching the bridge of his nose. "Pike. Pike is also missing."
"Ohh… yes. I— Ah… Forgot." Ilya rubs his arms. "The man is so forgettable sometimes—"
"Call Mrs. Jackie Pike, Rozy." Troy turns away from him.
Somewhere in Montreal
"Shit… my head." Hayden groans awake, trying to not disturb the body asleep beside him. "Jackie, what time is it? It's too bright outside…" From outside the bedroom, he hears the sound of glass breaking accompanied by the sound of giggling little shits.
The man's eyes widened.
"Fuck!" He tries to get out of bed, but the arm circled around his waist caused him to stumble and faceplant on the floor. "OW! FUCK!" Hayden yelps. "Jackie, what the hell? When did you become that strong?"
"…Ilya?" His wife calls out. "Did you fall…?"
On a normal circumstance, Hayden would be upset that his wife, the love of his life, is calling out the name of another man in their own bed. Only that wasn't his wife. His wife's voice is high-pitched, and stern, and somewhat bossy, just the way he likes it.
This was a man's voice.
"Shane!?" Hayden's eyes widen.
"Hayden!?" Shane's eyes snap wide open, sitting up to look at him.
"What are you doing in my bed!?" Hayden's voice crack at the end.
"What am I doing in your bed!?" Shane instinctively grabs at his chest, finding that he is missing his shirt. "Where is my shirt!?" He looks at Hayden. "Where is your shirt!?"
Hayden, wide-eyed, looks down at his half-naked form.
"I don't fucking know!"
"Oh my God!" Shane shrieks, pulling at his hair. "Did I cheat on my husband!? With you!? How could I do that to Ilya or Jackie!?"
Hayden felt mildly insulted. "What's wrong with me!?"
Shane looked at him up and down, expression disgusted.
"You're really asking me that?"
Hayden's jaw dropped.
"Well— Well, you're the one who decided to cheat on your Russian Stallion with me!" He points at him accusingly.
Shane scoffs. "Hey man, I love you, but I wouldn't willingly go home with you and fuck you."
Just as Hayden was about to make another retort, the bedroom door slams open.
"Why are you boys so noisy, hmm?" Jackie glares at the both of them, hands on her hips. "Amber and Arthur will wake up from their naps!"
"Jackie!" Hayden crawls on the floor to face her. "This is not what it looks like, I swear." He says, arms stretched towards her. "Whatever Shane and I did, if we did do something, I promise I didn't mean it."
She raises an eyebrow, making the man cower.
"Shane." She says, turning her focus towards him.
Shane had the decency to use the blanket to cover his chest as she did so.
"Yes, Jackie?" He gulps.
"Less than ten minutes ago, your husband called asking if you and my husband were here. Do you want to know what I told him?" Her flat tone scared the everloving shit out of Shane.
Shane gulps again. "What did you tell Ilya, Jackie?"
"That you and my husband came here at six in the morning and fucked in our bedroom after kicking me out." She tells him seriously.
"WHAT!?" Hayden and Shane screamed at the same time.
Jackie grinned mischievously. "I'm just kidding, of course!"
The two men made a huge sigh of relief that it was a joke and not real at all.
"Jackie, holy shit! Don't do that." Shane grumbles.
"Yeah, Babe. I don't want to think about doing Shane like that." Hayden shudders.
"Wait… so what did you actually tell him?" Shane asks her.
Jackie hums, tapping her chin. "Well—"
"Jackie! I am so glad you answered!"
"Ilya… hello." She yawns, while stirring her cup of coffee. "Are you looking for your husband?"
"Is Shane with you? Did he come with Hayden all the way to Montreal? Shane isn't wearing any of his shoes and the Lesser Pike left your car in our house too!" Ilya said in one breath, heavily accented in his panic that it took seconds for Jackie to fully decode what he said.
"Uhm… yeah. Shane and Hayden are in here, alright. They… took an Uber ride from your house to here." Jackie tells him.
Ilya wasn't responding on the other end and Jackie was beginning to worry there was something wrong with Ilya's signal or maybe even her's.
"Hello?"
"They… They took an Uber?" Ilya asks.
Jackie nods. "Yep. They took an Uber."
"From my house. Shane and I's house." Ilya says next.
"Mhm."
"To Montreal."
Jackie shakes her head. "I really don't know how else to put it, but yes. Sounds about right."
She winces when Ilya starts shouting into the phone. "Why the fuck would my husband go with the Lesser Pike to Montreal when the party is in our fucking house!?"
"I don't know!" Jackie finally shouts, smacking her head on the kitchen countertop. "I've been trying to figure that out myself! And once they arrived, they kicked me out of my own bed and I had to sleep in Ruby and Jade's room!"
From the backgrounds, she hears the twins break another bowl and she decided that she'll just make that Hayden's issue.
She can hear Ilya groan from the other side of the call.
"Jackie, I will see you in two hours. Maybe less."
Jackie knew this would happen. "Alright. Drive safely. Don't get any speeding tickets."
"I can not promise that, but alright."
"Anyways, so that's what I know so far." Jackie snaps her fingers. "Hayden left the SUV at your house, Shane, and that you two Ubered here. Now, Ilya knows you are here and is on his way."
Hayden's face was hidden by his hands, and Shane looked close to digging his own grave and just laying there. He can't believe that this happened. How could they let this happen? This is why Shane doesn't indulge much with alcohol because shit like this always happens.
"Jackie, I am so sorry." Shane chokes out, feeling heat rise to his cheeks and ears. He was burning in embarrassment. That much, Jackie can tell. "I promise this won't happen again."
Jackie waves her hand dismissively.
"Shane. I don't really care about that. Honestly, I'm just glad you and Hayden are safe and in one piece. I'm sure you had so much fun. It's Ilya you gotta apologize to. He had no clue where the hell you guys were. Very sure there are Tweets and Instagram posts wondering about your whereabouts and a Missing Persons report prepared for you." Jackie chuckles.
"What!?" Shane cries out again. "Oh my God!"
"But it's fine! It's fine. It will be alright!" Jackie reassures him. "I''m sure it will be alright."
That doesn't make Shane feel any better, but he replies anyway. "Alright, Jackie. I believe you."
That was when Hayden decided to finally talk.
"Shane."
"Yes, Hayds?" Shane looks at him.
"I will never let your rookies mix up a drink for me ever again." Hayden says, resolute with his decisions. "I don't know whatever the fuck they decided to put in that shit— Never again!"
"That is a great idea, Hayds. Splendid, even. I remember taking a drink from Hams, and I don't remember the rest." Shane pinches the bridge of his nose to ease the tension in his head. The hangover finally catching up to him.
As the three continued to talk, a notification pinged from Jackie's phone.
BREAKING NEWS: SHANE HOLLANDER MISSING FROM OTTAWA HOME
What Actually Happened
It was nearing 4 am, and Hayden and Shane were still partying, dancing, and drinking. Which triggered some older brother instinct within Hayden. This is the first time that he and Shane genuinely partied this hard, and it was clear Shane was close to passing out.
Hayden doesn't know which club they're at anymore, but he doesn't want to leave Shane alone in this state. He thinks he drove here, but he's also too drunk to even attempt driving.
"Shane. I'm too drunk to drive us back." Hayden slurs through the noise of the party. Piercing and loud.
Shane stumbles into Hayden's shoulder.
"That's alright, Dude. We can just— I don't know. Take an Uber or something." He tells Hayden.
"Why don't you just stay over at my place for tonight? Just like we used to. So you can just rest right away." Hayden suggests.
Shane nods. "Sure. I don't mind that at all. I don't know where my phone is, I think I lost it, but I can buy a new one, I guess." He blinks tiredly.
Hayden shrugs. "Cool." He brings out his phone to book an Uber ride.