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Alexsandr Kallus vs The Lesbians

Summary:

“I’m sure you’re aware of my friendship with Garazeb Orrelios.”

“Oh we are,” muttered Onsara under her breath, and was elbowed by Anz, who was nodding seriously.

Notes:

(See the end of the work for notes.)

Work Text:

“But do you think they’re, like, together?” Anz, one of Onsara’s girlfriends, asked. The three rebels were sitting around a table, taking their break to gossip in the tap cafe. Their conversation had swung from the latest media the rebellion had acquired, to the attractive and talented Hera Syndulla, and finally to one of their favorite will-they-won’t-they relationships. 

Onsara took a gulp of her drink, “Nah, they’re definitely still in the longing glaces part. Plus Kallus is so tightly strung, I think I’d notice if he was kriffing someone.” 

“Well, speak of the sith,” Javier said, and they turned to see Kallus standing in the doorway, looking slightly forlorn. 

“Invite him over,” Anz whispered, and Onsara groaned, “It’s my break to spend time with you two, not my roommate. I see him every night.” Breaks during the day didn’t come often in the rebellion, and coordinating free time with two partners was no less than a challenge. A date night was a prize.

“Invite. Him. over.” 

“Fine,” Onsara beckoned Kallus over, then muttered, “vultures.”

“I heard that.” 

“Good afternoon,” Kallus said, “Anz. Javier. It’s good to see you’re doing well.”

“No need to be so formal,” Javier laughed, “take a seat. We’re on a break.”

“Well,” Onsara leaned forward, “Since you’re here, let’s address the star destroyer in the room. What’s up with you?”

“Nothing,” Kallus said far too quickly. 

“You know, for an intelligence agent you’re surprisingly bad at lying.” 

He was caught there, and Kallus sighed. Anz passed him a mug, and he took a drink before looking at the three of them, “You cannot tell anyone. And I will know.” They nodded. The only people they would be telling were each other, during their inevitable debrief of the conversation. 

“I’m sure you’re aware of my friendship with Garazeb Orellios.”

Oh we are,” muttered Onsara under her breath, and was elbowed by Anz, who was nodding seriously. 

Kallus shot Onsara a look, and she shrugged innocently, so he continued, “Recently, well, our friendship hasn’t been what it was before. There’s more weight on each interaction, which we would normally talk about, but he, or we’ve, just been ignoring it.” 

“You haven’t had a fight?” asked Anz, and Kallus shook his head, “No. Our fights are quite … volatile.”

“That means they’re very public,” Onsara added, and Javier laughed. Most people around base had witnessed at least a few lover’s spats, so any fights Kallus and Zeb were having weren’t unusual. Even if they weren’t technically lovers.

Even Kallus cracked a small smile, “Yes, I suppose. The point is, he’s been acting oddly around me. Always rubbing the back of his neck and his fur always fluffs whenever we touch. And I’ve also felt odd about it.” 

Anz raised an eyebrow, “You do know what that means for furred creatures, right? I had a wookie girlfriend, and fluffing fur can show strong emotions. Her fur would always fluff when she was pissed off, anxious, or aroused.”

“So I’ve annoyed him? That would explain why he’s always looking at me.”

“Um,” piped up Javier, “I have another idea,” Anz and Onsara violently shook their heads at her. Telling Kallus had not been the plan. “Have you considered that he might … feel things towards you?”

“Of course he does. We’re friends.”

Javier shook her head, “Not like that. In a romantic sense. The aroused part of the fur fluffing.”

Kallus froze. Maybe this was what broke him. He frowned, “He wouldn’t.”

It was time for Onsara to get involved, “I mean, you should see the way he looks at you when you don’t see. And the way you look at him. It’s not crazy to think there might be some feelings there. Not that I’ve speculated on it.”

Another moment of silence. Then Kallus swore, “Karabast.” He jumped up, leaving his drink behind and speeding out of the tap cafe. 

“Was that … it?” asked Anz. 

“I don’t know,” said Onsara, “but I’m going to stay out of our bunk for the night anyways, just to be safe.”

“Maybe this will convince you to finally put in for the shared quarters forms,” smiled Javier. A long battle between the three of them was who would go through the suffering of paperwork in an already overloaded rebellion.

“Compelling. Maybe even enough to make me do paperwork.”

“You think it will work out?” questioned Anz.

“Yeah. It did for us.” 

Notes:

i like to imagine that zeb comes into the cafe immediately after and they’re all like “not again.”