Work Text:
The world rarely gives people what they deserve. The kind and the trusting are stepped and spat on, ruthlessly taken advantage of as they slave their lives away for the convenience of others, while the people doing the stepping and spitting get to comfortably live the high life. Airplane Shooting Towards The Sky fully believed this, and reflected it in his worldbuilding, even for a trashy, sell-out webnovel like Proud Immortal Demon Way. The little guy suffers, and the Man gets away with it every single time! That is, until the darkened protagonist arrives to supplant them, but that’s another story.
This is apparently a story that is interested in righting wrongs and balancing the scales, however.
Mobei-Jun and Shang Qinghua, standing in a hidden grotto that would, if his memory served him well, have contained a secret special power up that only replenishes once every thousand years and ripe for a plucking this very month, stare blankly at where the spirit that had just cursed them vanished from.
May the cruel prince learn some humility, obeying and scraping to his once-servant; and may the mistreated servant have a taste of power, given his once-master’s reigns.
“Uuuuum,” Shang Qinghua says, and a nervous laugh compulsively slips out of him. “How strange! I guess we aren’t the first people to step foot here in centuries? Someone must have left behind some, some sort of prank, or--”
“You,” Mobei-Jun grits out, and Shang Qinghua screams as he reaches out and snatches Shang Qinghua up by the collar of his robes, lifting him until not even the toes of his boots graze the floor. “You led me into a trap. What is this?”
“I didn’t, I didn’t! My king, I swear I didn’t know this would happen!” That certainly hadn’t been part of this scene in his original novel, right? Right!? He’d remember if there were some sort of spirit lingering around the grotto ready to mete out curses on any trespassers, right?
… God, he absolutely wouldn’t. Why would he remember something that stupid? Luo Binghe probably shrugged off whatever curse had been laid on him in a single chapter with a quick round of papapa!
Mobei-Jun glares at him coldly, and Shang Qinghua squeaks and cringes, covering his head with his arms as best as he can, curling up his legs in an attempt to give his stomach some protection. With a noise of disgust, Mobei-Jun tosses him onto the floor - Shang Qinghua quickly goes into a practiced duck-and-roll before bracing himself for a proper servant kicking. Shang Qinghua knows the drill, he can get through one of these.
“Mercy!” he cries despite himself. Suffering in silent stoicism never has been and never will be his thing; how could he not beg for mercy? Sure, it hasn’t worked the past 1000 times, but maybe this is the one time it will! “My king, please have mercy on this servant, don’t hurt me!”
His voice rises up into a wail as he curls himself up tighter and tighter, eyes squeezed shut, waiting for the first blow to come at any moment. Then he holds his breath for a long moment, waiting. And waiting.
After ten solid seconds, Shang Qinghua dares to cautiously peek a glance out of his protective fetus position like a weasel poking its head out of its burrow, fingers braided over the back of his head. He sees Mobei-Jun standing above him, glaring fiercely, but standing still as a statue.
… What’s the hold up?? Shang Qinghua would like to get this part over with, please don’t keep him in suspense! Moving swiftly, he pushes himself up to cling to Mobei-Jun’s thighs.
“Please forgive this lowly servant, he sincerely made a mistake, it was entirely innocent, he is terribly sorry! If you break my bones, how will I serve you? I’ll be more careful! What’s even the point of hunting down cultivation-boosting powerups, my king is already the strongest! This servant was foolish--”
“Quiet,” Mobei-Jun spits, sounding tense as a board. “Shut up.”
Shang Qinghua obediently falls silent, his jaw clamping shut. Is he really going to get to skip a beating here? Is Mobei-Jun counting to ten or something? If he’s finally trying some anger management techniques, then Shang Qinghua will warmly wish him luck on his self improvement journey!
“You…” Mobei-Jun says after a very, very long minute spent in heavy silence. Shang Qinghua spent that minute scrutinizing Mobei-Jun’s microexpressions (the only kind of expressions he makes, besides his glares), observing his clenched jaw and the slightest tics of his eyebrow. It almost looks like he’s straining against something.
“... yes, my king?” Shang Qinghua asks meekly, once it becomes clear that Mobei-Jun won’t immediately continue. He’s still firmly wrapped around Mobei-Jun’s leg, much like a koala. From experience, he knows that Mobei-Jun can casually walk around with his entire weight attached to his leg like an overly large leech, but he’ll usually just shake him off.
“The spirit,” Mobei-Jun says stiffly, “did something.”
“It did?” Shang Qinghua asks, straightening up. He starts doing a visual scan on Mobei-Jun - is he bleeding from anywhere, is he injured? Or, with plot devices like this, it’s usually something like… But even darting his eyes to his crotch, nothing seems amiss there either.
“Fix it.”
“Of course, my king! This servant will do whatever it takes to make up for his mistakes! Just, ah, what exactly is the problem?”
Mobei-Jun glares at him, and Shang Qinghua instinctively cowers. But again, no beating! Not even a casual swipe or anything.
“It doesn’t matter,” he says. “Just fix it.”
… So, fix a problem without even being told what it is? That’s a new one! Shang Qinghua thought that he’d already reached the absolute rock bottom level low of unreasonable requests in his first and only retail job in his first life, along with all of his experience on An Ding Peak. Apparently not! Mobei-Jun always works to impress, clearly!
“Yes, my king!” Shang Qinghua stupidly parrots like a good, obedient servant, because what the fuck else can he do?
Okay. So it’s a problem that the spirit created, or at least that’s what Mobei-Jun thinks. Why does he think that? The spirit had just been an insubstantial wisp of color and smoke, and had hung out for barely a moment before vanishing. All it had time for was that single weird, ominous prophecy. What had it said again? Shang Qinghua had been too startled to really take it in at the time. Something about a ‘cruel prince’ and ‘obey’ and ‘taste of power’...
… no fucking way.
“My king,” Shang Qinghua says cautiously, oh so cautiously. Licking his lips, he experimentally tries out, “tell me what’s wrong.”
“After you told me not to hurt you, I have been unable to do so,” Mobei-Jun says. The words shove themselves sort of mechanically out of his mouth, which abruptly clamps shut at the tailend of that last word. His eyes flare with shock and anger, and he takes a step forward. “You--!”
“I’m sorry, I’m sorry!” Shang Qinghua wails, flinging his arms over his head and cringing. But then--
Why is he cowering, exactly? This curse, doesn’t it mean that Shang Qinghua doesn’t need to cower? And so he tentatively comes out of his protective little cower-ball, only to find Mobei-Jun… ineffectually looming over him. It’s quite a good loom, very tall and ominous, fully casting Shang Qinghua in his broad shadow. But he’s not really doing anything besides that, is he?
“Take it back,” Mobei-Jun grits out.
… As in, essentially give Mobei-Jun permission to beat him?
“Um, sorry,” Shang Qinghua says. “No?”
Obviously not! Shang Qinghua might not be suicidal enough to fight back, but rolling out the welcome mat is a step too far even for him. It’s a stupid request to even make, what does Mobei-Jun think of him!? What a spoiled brat!
Mobei-Jun stands there and seems to almost tremble with thwarted indignation, his hands curled up into tight fists. Ah, yeah, if he were off the leash right now then Shang Qinghua would currently be a groveling, bleeding heap on the floor, holy shit. But he’s safe. He’s safe…
As soon as it really sinks in for Shang Qinghua that he is holding the leash, the power immediately goes to his head. This - hang on, doesn’t this change everything!? He could order Mobei-Jun to never kill him! Or to expose him as his spy! No more beatings, no more unreasonable last-minute orders, no more growled threats… Hell, Shang Qinghua could order Mobei-Jun to do a funny little dance for him. And he’d do it! There’s nothing stopping him!!
Temporarily paralyzed by the sheer ocean of possibility laid before him, it takes Shang Qinghua a little too long to notice how… tense Mobei-Jun is. While his face can never be described as ‘gentle’ or ‘soft’, it is noticeably stiff now. He’s watching Shang Qinghua with something almost like…
Resignation?
Dread?
Fear?
… No way!!! He’s just imagining that. Mobei-Jun’s facial expression range is very subtle and limited, making trying to interpret them sometimes a little bit like searching for faces in tree bark. Shang Qinghua is nothing more than a ridiculous, pathetic, weaselly spy, while Mobei-Jun is the pinnacle of strength, masculinity, and general badassness. As if he’d ever be scared of Shang Qinghua, for even a second!
“My king, don’t you worry,” Shang Qinghua says despite all that. “I’m sure we’ll figure out a way to fix this soon. Curses always have a win condition, right? Right!”
Something like this probably did happen to Luo Binghe in the novel. If Shang Qinghua really scratches his brain, then he should be able to remember a little more of the particulars! And even if he doesn’t, then there are still some other options he could make use of in order to learn more…
“... You will seek to break the curse?” Mobei-Jun asks him.
“Huh? Oh yeah, of course!” Shang Qinghua says, temporarily lost in thought, the gears in his mind already spinning. Naturally, he’ll play the role of the obedient servant and break the curse! If he didn’t, then Mobei-Jun would certainly rip his heart straight out of his chest for the betrayal once the curse breaks on its own in some way. That’s the way it always goes with these things! Shang Qinghua knows his tropes, and he refuses to fall for such an obvious trap and start digging his own grave. “This servant of course wishes to restore his king to his dignity and freedom!”
Mobei-Jun may bend the knee to Luo Binghe, taking the role of the loyal righthand man, but that’s by choice. Granted, the alternative would be a speedy execution, but Shang Qinghua knows that Mobei-Jun is stubborn enough, principled enough, and proud enough to pick death over loyalty to an unworthy lord. In a way, wouldn’t it be a tragedy to reduce his favorite character to nothing more than a minor antagonist’s lapdog? He deserves better! Shang Qinghua refuses to ruin him like that.
“But you will not take back your command,” Mobei-Jun says testingly, warily, almost as if he’s trying to understand.
“Uh, no,” Shang Qinghua says, and can’t stop himself from wincing apologetically. “S-sorry, my king, please don’t get too angry! I, ah, I just really feel like I’ll be able to solve this problem faster if you’re not, um, disciplining me during…”
Translation: I can actually focus on my work if I’m not constantly being kicked around by you!! Obviously!
Who is he kidding? Denying Mobei-Jun like this is going to unleash a storm on him a hundred times over when this is all done and all restrictions are lifted. He’ll be beaten black and blue, so he won’t even be able to show his face outside of the Leisure House! And yet, he can’t bring himself to take it back. The consequences of his current actions will have to land on future Shang Qinghua’s shoulders, and he doesn’t give a shit about that guy.
“This is the only thing you will ask of me?” Mobei-Jun asks. What is with these questions? Does he want Shang Qinghua to push his luck? Please, don’t tempt him, he has so much buried frustration to vent, he just might make him stand on his head for an hour…
“Yes, my king. This servant wouldn’t dare ask for more! I’ll, ah, I’ll do my best to speak carefully. I’ve never actually been in a situation like this before, but I’ve read a little bit about some similar things. I’ll try to avoid falling into the pittraps.”
He’s written similar things, as well. There had been that wife cursed to be obedient by her tyrannical father from birth, he remembers, and there’d been more than one plot device that would create a situation like this. Considering that this has popped up multiple times in canon, then there are definitely solutions floating somewhere out there! If only Peerless Cucumber were available, then Shang Qinghua could go bug him about it and receive precise coordinates after a sufficient reaming out for what a forgetful idiot he is. Maybe he could buy some hints from the System…?
He trails off into muttering and mumbling to himself. Who knows how long it takes him to notice that Mobei-Jun is just silently staring at him? His expression is blank now, back to being entirely unreadable. He doesn’t look bored or angry, which are unfortunately the two moods that Shang Qinghua is the most familiar dealing with.
“My king?” Shang Qinghua asks nervously. He reminds himself, he can’t hit me. And that knowledge, the certainty of it, really does relax him once he remembers it. No matter what, this conversation isn’t going to take a sudden, violent turn. Ah, he’s really going to miss this once it’s gone.
“Very well,” he says. “If this is the one thing that you desire.”
He says that like Shang Qinghua is making some strange, mysterious request by just not wanting to be regularly beaten, and he’s quite puzzled by it.
… What is this cryptic bullshit? Please, explain yourself! But Mobei-Jun only steps forward and sweeps an arm around Shang Qinghua, taking them both through a portal back to the safety of his warm, familiar Leisure House.
Whatever that strange conversation was, it seems that they’ve come to some sort of understanding for now. Shang Qinghua only wishes he knew what that understanding is!