Chapter Text
Messages keeps gettin' clearer
Radio's on and I'm movin' 'round my place
I check my look in the mirror
There's somethin' happenin' somewhere
Baby, I just know that there is
“Again with this song?” came the complaint from Alexei, who left his office at the end of the hallway and was now looking at his two daughters dancing in the middle of the living room.
Natasha turned at once, her bright smile fading immediately at the sight of her father. Opposite of Yelena whose smile turned wider, and started to bounce.
“This is the best song ever!” exclaimed with open arms looking at her sister who looked at her adorably .
Natasha smiled and made her spin,
“Maybe you identify with this song.”
“Maybe.” she mischievously replied, then hit her hips with her sister’s “Or maybe I like dancing to it.”
She then started to make some moves in step with the music, which made Natasha laugh and Alexei smile while shaking his head watching his two girls laughing and dancing in front of the music player.
“Bathing time, firecracker.” Melina interrupted at the kitchen entrance and forced the two girls to stop.
“Nooo” Yelena whined, stomping her foot while Natasha chuckled and turned the music down “Just one more song!”
“It’s getting too late.” was her mother’s strict response despite the little blonde girl´s big, pleading green eyes.
“Melina, maybe just one more song… “ Alexei said, already caving to his youngest daughter.
“Don’t indulge her.” the woman smacked her husband with the tea towel draped over her left shoulder. “She needs structure and a routine”
“Bah.” the older man complained walking past her and into the kitchen, grabbing a vodka bottle and a glass from the pantry.
“Let’s go, Yelena.” Melina reached for her hand.
The little girl let out a long sigh, looked at her sister, who smiled brightly in encouragement, and followed her mother toward her fate among bubbles and mermaid dolls. Life sucked.
——
I need a love reaction
Come on now, baby, gimme just one look
“Earth to Yelena.” Ava waved a hand in front of her, making the Widow jump back and instinctively raise her hands into a defensive stance. Snapping her out of the trance she´d slipped into the moment the song started playing from the small Bluetooth speaker.
Her teammate gave her a half smile and crossed her arms.
“Easy there, don't go all menacing on me.”
Yelena sighed, shook her head and went back to drying the dishes.
”You know, for being one of the best spies in the world, you dissociate quite a lot.”
Yelena shot daggers at her and tried to smack her with the tea towel in her hands. Ghost effortlessly phased out of the way.
“And you can't even land a hit, jeez.” said mockingly. “Anyone can be a feared assassin these days.”
“Ha ha. Post the job position on Linkedin, then.”
Ava snickered as she put away the dishes Yelena had finished drying.
“Yelena” Alexei shouted as he entered the kitchen.
Beside him, Walker covered his right ear while Bucky shook his head. At the same time, Ava looked up and groaned.
“You still listen to this song?”
Yelena’s face turned red instantly and she desperately shook her head, already anticipating the embarrassment her father would subject her to.
“Don’t you dare.”
That was a bad idea. Yelena knew. She knew and still gave not only Ava, but John fucking Walker, a free pass to dig deeper.
“Let him talk.” crooned the blond.
“Yes, let him.”
There were very few times when Ava agreed with Walker. Despite loving to mess with him and testing how long he could keep up with her mind games, it was no surprise that those rare moments usually happened when they both enjoyed getting under Yelena’s skin.
Unaware of what was transpiring, Alexei continued with a smile.
“Maya dochka, remember when you and Natasha jumped around the house listening to it? Her mother used to call her firecracker.” Told proudly to Bucky “Always with that radiant spark.”
There were things that still hurt. Her childhood, her stolen youth, her fake parents, her sister…Being on the same team as said father did not help sometimes, and other times it did. Alexei was the only person remaining from that tumultuous past, and sometimes she clung to it more than she knew was healthy. Then, she remembered his role in all of it and the hatred returned, consuming her entirely.
To keep it at bay, she avoided his gaze.
Involuntarily, her gaze found Bucky´s, who was already watching her with such a piercing stare that she felt all her demons were being exposed and judged at that very moment.
“Whatever,” She cut off Alexei, Walker and Ava’s conversation who were still interested in learning more about Yelena’s childhood memories to collect embarrassing ammunition "Where's Bob?”
“At his therapist’s appointment.” Bucky responded, still watching her every movement.
Did anyone ever tell him how unsettling that stare of his could be? baj.
“Red Guardian goes to pick the Sentry up.” Laughed Alexei proudly as if he had been assigned as the president’s personal guard. “And Mister-ex-Captain America here…” he grabbed Walker's neck in a headlock “will be Red Guardian's partner in crime.”
Walker made a disgusting face while Ava shivered.
After a moment of watching Walker struggle to be set free, Ava let out a long sigh. Looked at the ceiling and then glanced at the people in front of her.
“Can I join? What?” she snapped at the look she received from everyone. “I need to go somewhere near Bob’s therapist.”
Yelena and Bucky looked at each other, genuinely surprised, unable to believe that Ava of all people, had volunteered to ride in a car with Alexei and Walker.
“Have you hit your head?” Walker asked, still dumbfounded and in Alexei’s grip.
At the same time Alexei’s guffawed and took Ava from his other side.
“What a team: the invincible Ghost, ex Captain America and me: the living legend, the great Red Guardian.”
“Please just stop calling me “EX” Captain America.” John complained once he and Ghost escaped Alexei’s grip.
“You are right, Temu’s Captain America” was Ava’s quick response making Walker turn red.
“Just so you know I…”
Alexei ignored the quarrel at his side and looked to both co-leaders.
“Do any of you two want to join this adventure?”
Bucky and Yelena stared back at each other. The amused look in his eyes threw her off.
“We´re alright.” Was Barnes' response and it brought Yelena out of her thoughts. She looked at the rest of the team as they were getting into the elevator.
“Have fun.” Yelena called out, her voice filled with amusement as she looked at Ava, who stared back at her with daggers in her eyes before the doors closed “I can’t believe she actually went with them.”
“That made two of us.” he said with the same hint of amusement.
Silence filled the room, only for the speaker to start playing the song that made Yelena return to one of her beloved memories.
Quickly, she reached the device, intending to turn it off but was unexpectedly interrupted.
“It makes sense that you relate to this song, you know?“
“What?” was her dumbfounded response. She thought she had imagined his voice.
Barnes nodded while surveying her face. Again.
“Firecracker,” he offered, noticing Yelena’s confusion. “An ablaze spirit, I mean.”
What in the alternate universes was this? First, Ava leaving with Walker and her father, and now Bucky offering her some kind of compliment?
Yelena laughed dryly.
“I don’t remember that girl anymore.” she responded with a venomous tone.
With a heavy heart, she stopped the song, leaving the room empty and quiet.
“I believe you do.”
She was surprised by the man’s response a few seconds later, looking back to find his gaze.
In the almost two months they have been living together, Bucky had never gotten involved in the rest of the team’s personal issues. He always guided through his own experiences, indirectly tying them to whatever they were going through. But never, not once, had he spoken for anyone else.
“I think she’s still there, just hiding.”
Yelena let his words settle before glancing at him from the corner of her eye.
“Or maybe she is tired.”
“Yeah, maybe. But she doesn’t have to. She is doing great, you know.”
Yelena tried to contain a smile, only to look him straight in the eyes and find that he already had a knowing expression on his face.
“Look at you,” she raised both her arms, pointing at him “giving me a TED talk. I thought that was my department.”
Barnes shook his head, trying to hold back a smile. Yelena’s grew wider.
“And it still is. I just… You need to remind yourself you´re still human. Don’t let this life take that away from you. Take my word for it.”
“You know,” Yelena's voice broke the silence that had settled between them as they analyzed each other. She sat at the stool by the kitchen island, facing Bucky. And despite being in front of him, she couldn’t bring herself to look at him while he rested her arms on the marble and leaned his body closer. To keep her secret safe, even though they were the only ones there. “When I got out of the chemical subjugation thingy, I had these incredible dreams and ideas about the world…”
Dreams of getting to know it entirely, every culture and person without an ulterior motive, a mission to complete or someone to destroy. Ideas of a life without a red ledger. A peaceful life with honest and lasting relationships.
“All of it disappeared when my sister was gone. There was no reason anymore, you know?”
She looked right at him and could find a quiet gaze, one that told her he understood everything.
“Sometimes, I believe the Yelena who danced to this song doesn’t exist anymore because she only did when Natasha was still with me.”
She gave him a sad smile, the corners of her mouth turning downward.
“I believe no one will ever take her memories, or what she meant to you, Yelena.” he spoke after a few seconds, taking in her confession. “But don’t let them torment you and turn you into someone you don’t recognize in the mirror.”
Yelena laughed sardonically at that.
“I don’t think I know myself anymore. Sometimes I missed knowing how certain things felt…like dancing, for example.” she sighed and tried to contain her tears “I haven’t danced since I was a little girl” she confessed with complete honesty because, why not? All her demons were laid bare now.
For a second, she noticed his vibranium hand, how his fingers twitched slightly, as if he wanted to reach for something. But his human one stopped it, placing itself above the vibranium one.
Yelena saw how Bucky debated internally whether to say something to her, how his head turned slightly, as if trying to formulate the right words. But when he was finally about to speak, his cellphone rang, making them both jump at the interruption.
“Huh, has he been this close since the beginning?” Yelena wondered as Bucky stood up, gave her an apologetic look and left the kitchen.
Watching him leave, making sure he was far enough away not to hear her, she returned to the speaker and, hesitantly, played the same song that had kept her frozen in time.
Going back to her unfinished chore, her mind got her places she thought were closed and hidden.
So lost in that distant place, she never noticed when her right foot began following the rhythm of the song, as if welcoming an old friend returning home, nor when a faint whistle emerged like spring after a long winter.
You can't start a fire
You can't start a fire without a spark
This gun's for hire
Even if we're just dancin' in the dark