Archive of Our Own

All the people that you see

in the night 

(Hold their dreams up to the

light)

If you think about it, there are very few things that actually matter in life. A roof over your head, food in your stomach, health, drive, determination, being able to rise back to your feet after dodging everything that Life throws at you.

Shinyo only has three of those things, at the moment. Four, if you want to add ‘clothes’ to the list. But no, who does he want to kid?

He currently has nothing. Nothing. Maybe his own pride left, but he can’t eat that, and the pit that his stomach has been for the past ten days or so reminds him at every occasion. So, no, he can’t do much with pride right now.

That’s the excuse he decides to use when he finds himself elbows-deep into a trashcan hidden from the front street view by the restaurant it belongs to.

The stench is enough to make his eyes water, to make him suppress his gags even though that’s a reflex that’s been conditioned out of him since he was still an eyas. God, how low has he fallen? 

(Still better than that fucking ship, everything’s better than that fucking ship. Harima said he could go on land and on land he went. He’s oh so tempted to not come back, but he can’t leave Junto there.)

Rats skitter between his feet when he disrupts them while moving around the trash in the bin, and for a long, interminable second he’s so tempted to just drop whatever slippery trashbag he managed to put his hands on and try and go after them, but no. He can’t. They’re too fast for him at the moment, as much as he hates to admit it. He’s in this situation because he couldn’t come to terms with the fact that he’s basically, utterly useless, at the moment.

He’s been on the streets for so long by now that it’s starting to catch up with him: the feeling of being constantly watched, of not having an actual safe place to sleep in but somewhere that’s just enough hidden to allow his brain to turn off for a couple of hours at time, but not secure enough to allow him to actually rest with both his eyes closed. The inconsistent way he managed to get food until now. The hunger, the thirst.

Public water is not drinkable now because of a villain attack somewhere close enough to pollute this district’s water implant too, hence why every damned public fountain and public toilet has been closed for the past two weeks or so. The government can clean the water, but it decided against it to avoid another attack too soon.

Shinyo has never had any problem nor issue with stealing what is necessary for his survival, but even he has his own limits - which apparently, funnily enough, take the shape of his right wing being half featherless because of some kind of damned illness he thinks he caught. Or maybe it's just the shitty food he's been eating since he got onto Harima's ship, who knows. He really, really hopes this is the case -. That means that he's grounded. He can't rely on his speed to escape if he gets caught, and he can't get caught, not again. Last time he managed to escape with some help from Junto, but he can't rely on this luxury anymore. Also, every minimarket in the area is both on a water bottle shortage and an instant food shortage because of the villain attack - which prevents people from cooking many meals, too -, so he literally doesn't have much to steal. Trying to catch some prey is also not an option, because of his wings and the general dizziness that he's been feeling lately, probably due to whatever the fuck is making his wing molt out of season. 

Yeah, no, he's grounded. 

A grounded bird dies, a voice in his head reminds him, but Shinyo ignores it like he's always done in his entire life. 

The tender spot on the right side of his face, where skin and tissue barely managed to knit themselves back together, is a good reminder that it doesn't give him good tips anyway.

So, back to dumpster diving it is. Ugh, gross. 

He finally manages to grasp something when there's rattling at the end of the alleyway that leads to the street, followed by a menacing "Hey!"

Shinyo stops in his tracks. Shit. He takes a deep breath before turning his head to the newcomer. "Hey to you. Nothin' to see here, aye?" He just says, trying to be as calm and nonchalant as possible. Yup, it's just another Tuesday evening for him, nothing to see, nothing to see. Gods, he knew he had to wait a little more beore attempting this, but he was too fucking hungry. When he recognizes who the person is, though, Shinyo loudly groans. The only reason that stops him from banging his forehead against the dumpster is that it's so damn disgusting. "Oh, great," mutters under his breath, because it's just his luck, really. Goddammit.

The man- the boy doesn't even try to spare him the humiliation. "Takami?" Asks, and he sounds like he's unsure between being surprised and unimpressed. Ugh. "What the hell are you doing?"

Shinyo takes a deep breath. Here goes my chance to mess around with him in the future. Damn, he's so bitter about it. So, he grins and goes back to what he was doing, like it's nothing. "Whatcha think, fireboy? Looking for your brains, that's what I'm doing." A couple of sparks catch Shinyo's eyes - so so pretty, shiny- -, but he doesn't give them too much attention. 

"Shut it. You're unsufferable," Todoroki mutters, then takes a long breath, as if he's trying to calm himself down - which, huh. That's new. He's such a hothead, Shinyo finds it so amusing trying to rile him up as much as possible in the shortest timespan possible. His personal record is of seven seconds at the moment, and he's quite smug about it -. "Why do you look like a winged rat even more than usual?" 

Always so nice with his words. Shinyo would genuinely laugh at him if it wasn't for how deep they cut. Still, he forces himself to chuckle. The sounds is so far away from the natural one, he's sure it's as clear as the sky is in this moment - so so clear, it's still early enough in the winter that the sky is of that purplish colour he likes so much, that allows him to fly and fly and fly without the risk of getting caught even if he's not so high his eardrums hurt and the wind is so cold that it feels like Rat's whip on his back all over again and he wants to fly he needs to fly he's grounded a grounded bird is a dead bird he needs to fly- -, and maybe Todoroki is more perceptive than he gives him credit for, because he hears his heartbeat accelerate for just a second. " 'S nothing. Just-" he doesn't want to tell, but he doesn't even want to look or sound weak. He starts rummaging again through the trash, faking interest in something inside the dumpster to not have to look at Todoroki's eyes anymore. "Just go, will ya? Leave me alone, 'm not doing anything ill-eagle." He'd laugh at Todoroki's face in any other situation. Shinyo can't bring himself too, today. The weight of the boy's gaze on his almost naked wing is making him more and more uncomfortable, and the distance that Todoroki keeps from him is straight up humiliating. Like he doesn't want to be dirtied by Shinyo's filth. 

"Must really be nothing, if it gives you enough breath to waste with those dumb puns," Todoroki retaliates. "And anyway, whatever you're doing is illegal."

Shinyo stops for a long second. "What? For real?" Asks, looking back at him. 

"It is. Theft and trespassing, to be precise. I should arrest you."

Cold sweat runs down Shinyo's back at that threat. His wings want to flare up in a mixture of intimidation and outrage, but he forces them down, allowing himself to just have his feathers to bristle. He can't antagonize Todoroki too much today, he's not sure he'd be able to run away if he were to decide to follow through with his implication. "It's bullshit," hisses, tightening his hold against what he's pretty sure is a trashbag filled with food remains. He found it a couple of minutes ago, but he doesn't want to take it out in front of Todoroki. He doesn't want him to see, somehow. "This is trash, people throw it away. 'S not stealing, c'mon."

"It is. It's the government's property, right now. So, rummaging through it is trespassing, and taking items away is theft." But he doesn't move a muscle to try and stop him, cold, blue eyes studying every single one of Shinyo's moves. He's not wearing his school uniform, Shinyo notices. Still light clothes, probably because of his quirk, still well dressed, but no UA uniform. Must be on vacation. Which would explain why he's so far away from Musutafu.

Shinyo decided that he doesn't care. He's hungry, he's cold, and the way that Todoroki is looking at him is threatening to make him stress grip the trashbag, which would be a shame because it'd break and he's really not in the mood to either find a new one or pick up his loot from the disgusting inside of the dumpster. Also yes, this is a restaurant's dumpster, but it's also small, probably due to be emptied soon, and it's mostly filled with non-food trash, reason why it took him so long to find something. He'd really, really like to not have to redo this whole process again. So, he bites the bullet, takes a little breath and ignores Todoroki's presence, carefully pulling the bag out of the can. 

"What do you have there?" 

Shinyo ignores him. He squats down and checks if the bag is actually intact. Once he's sure that it is, he dares to breathe again.

"Takami." Todoroki's voice is too close now. 

Shinyo didn't hear him coming, didn't hear him walk, even on the littered concrete of the alleyway. No. The rumbling of his own stomach was too strong. So, he's startled when he finds Todoroki leaning down beside him, trying to see better what Shinyo is hunched over.

Shinyo bares his fangs, a loud growl coming out of his chest before he can do anything to stop it, eyes deadly pointed to Todoroki's. His wings finally puff up and flare behind him, a clear threat in their new position. "Step back", he hisses, covering his yesterday's dinner-slash-today's breakfast-slash lunch-slash-dinner-slash tomorrow's breakfast-slash tomorrow's lunch better with his body, instincts screaming at him to protect his prey, his food, his his his, threat, away, fly away, fight, protect, hungry, hungry hungry hungry.

Can feel Todoroki tense beside him, can hear the way his breath stutters, can hear the beat of his heart, a little too fast, a little erratic. Not only in fear, no, Shinyo knows that rhythm too well for not recognizing it. No, it's fear mixed with something else. Something he's not used to hearing from people around him. 

Still, Todoroki weighs his options and decides to actually respect him, for once, taking a step back.

The acknowledgment that Shinyo is the stronger predator floods the instinctual part of his brain with dopamine, and of course he needs to claim his prey in front of the enemy he just intimidated, right? So he just- he slashes through the trashbag - using what little mind he still has to not make too big of a hole - and stops in his tracks. 

The food looks fresh enough, better conserved because of the cold, so it's not rotting yet, and it doesn't really smell that badly, just the way that too many different dishes mixed together would. It's not good, but it's not too unpleasant either. His hands are filthy and disgusting but he really has no way to clean them right now, not without at least water, and he's too hungry to care at this point. If he hasn't gotten sick all these years he won't get something this time either, right? So, he just grabs what looks like a slice of tonkatsu and shoves it in his mouth. The pork is cold and dry, chewy in a way that's definitely not intended, and it was probably tasty fifteen hours ago. Right now, it's like eating a tire, but it's okay. It still tastes better than anything that Shinyo got to eat in the past months. To that slice follows another, then another one, then a bit of what looks like scrambled eggs, then some rice, then- then a hand is gripping his wrist so tightly it makes the bones grind together under what little muscle he has, shooting pain up his forearm, where hides the freshly hidden fracture he got while fighting against the overseer- Koguma. Don't think about it don't think about it don't think about it-

"What the fuck, Takami?!" Todoroki's thundering voice snaps him free from the phantom feeling of tacky blood on his hands, on his talons, from the way his wings tried to snap shut behind his back to make himself look smaller and less threatening and the look in Jun's eyes when he ripped them off- he- his wings- he- "What are you doing?!"

He's trembling. The grip on his wrist hurts, trying to squirm away hurts, fighting his tonic immobility hurts too, and he's so close to some food, finally, that his mind is a cacophony of no no no no let me go I'm hungry hungry hungry let me go it's mine it's mine please please please let me go and flashes of the past weeks on the ship, the fight, the way Koguma's body twitched on the corridor's floor, the way blood kept pouring from his sliced throat even minutes after he stopped moving, the look in Junto's eyes in that room with Harima, the helplessness he felt while fighting for the first real time against him, how much stronger he is than him, how- how stronger the grip is, he can't break free, he can't, he can't, not even-

"Shinyo!"

Shinyo feels himself stop. His own heart is beating way too fast in his ribcage, it's adding to the headache that's been a constant in the last few days, and when he slowly takes in where he is and the state of his body he finds himself contorted into an uncomfortable position, wings flared out to try and keep his balance while pushing with his both feet against Todoroki's leg to try and free himself from his grip, the trashbag with his food abandoned on the ground between them because getting free is more important he can find more food he can survive he will survive but he needs to be free to have a chance he needs to-

He pushes harder against Todoroki's leg, tries to bare his fangs to scare him off, it worked before, but a sound escapes him, and he freezes. It's a hiccup. It's soft and scared and pleading and "Let go, let go. Let go let go let go..." he hears himself whisper, voice trembling with defeat and terror and he can't bring himself to look into the other's eyes because if he does he will be actually paralyzed and he can't afford to do that he can't he's going to kill him this time they're not playing they're not roughhousing he's going to hurt him to kill him Junt-

"If I'll let you go, you'll just fly away," comes Todoroki's answer. His voice is... weird, like it lacks something. Probably the disdain it often carries when directed ad Shinyo. 

It's still enough to make him stop on his tracks. He lowers his eyes anyway, tries to retake control of his breathing. Forces himself to retreat the broken talons he was pushing into Todoroki's hand to try and get free, climbs down from his leg until he has both shoeless feet on the ground. It's humid, freezing because of the cold, unforgiving against his bare soles. "I can't fly with my wings like this, you fucking idiot," he mutters, trying his best to stabilize his voice. " 'S like, the whole problem."

His stomach decides that that's the perfect moment to make itself known, cramping so loudly and so hard that Shinyo's forced to double down a little. 

Todoroki just looks at him for a second more before slowly releasing his grip on Shinyo's arm.

Shinyo snaps it against his own chest, protectively, losing control of another low growl, wings twitching to fight against the instinct of flaring as big as possible, to intimidate, to make it known that he is the most dangerous predator on the scene.

He's not, he knows he's not, especially in his conditions. Still, fake it til you make it, right?

He feels his legs tremble, so he squats down, gaze flickering from Todoroki's face to the trashbag, then again on the other boy's features. He's frowning, as if deep in thought, and he's looking at him like somebody were to look at a kicked puppy.

Huh, not too far of a comparison, honestly. 

It was an unsettling look on Todoroki's features. 

Once sure that he wouldn't try and grab him again, Shinyo dares to try and pick up the trashbag from the ground, fully intended on leaving as soon as possible to go somewhere high enough to not be disturbed and enjoy his meal - if what he's gonna eat can even be considered a meal to enjoy -, but Todoroki speaks again.

"What are you doing?" dumbly asks, and Shinyo sees fucking red.

"What does it look like, huh?! Enjoying a fucking day in a spa! Ordering from the best rated restaurant around here! Yes! Hell!" basically yells, rising to his feet to be in a less vulnerable position. He lets his wings spread, now, the ruffling of feathers loud enough to be heard even by Todoroki. "What the fuck do you think I'm doing, Enji?!"

The first name makes something flash in Todoroki's eyes, but it disappears as soon as it comes. "Look, if you're hungry-"

Shinyo interrupts him with a scoff, crossing his arms. " 'If', he says," mutters under his breath. He looks away when he feels something warm on his face, then brings a hand to wipe the tears away.

"Since you're hungry, why don't you just- "

"Do what?! Order some food? With which money?! Oh, d'ya think they'd serve me, even if I could pay? Aye, for sure! Because no-fucking-body in this butthole of nowhere is a racist asshole who'd rather call the heroes on me as soon as I'd put foot in their store or whatever! Like I didn't already try!"

Todoroki looks away now, as if- as if ashamed, maybe of not having thought about it himself. Shinyo would laugh on every other occasion.

He doesn't feel like laughing right now.

"Aye, big boy, teach me how to survive on the streets while sitting at your kotatsu sipping your afternoon tea with your fucking pastries! Tha's exactly what I need!"

"I'll buy you some food."

Todoroki's words are so softly spoken that Shinyo has to double check that it's actually still him and he's not been substituted by somebody else during their conversation, because what. 

"What?" he asks, voice low, uncertain. 

Todoroki clears his throat. "I said, I'll buy you some food," repeats, louder now, gaze locked for a long second to Shinyo's one.

Shinyo is the first to break their brief staring contest. He tries to speak, but he has to swallow when something ugly tries to crawl its way up in his throat. A coo or a sob, he's not sure. "Why?" 

Todoroki takes a second. "Because I'm a hero. A hero's duty is to help people."

Shinyo snorts. That's the most pathetic reasoning Todoroki could have given him. "You don't consider me a person."

"Are you?" Todoroki retaliates, but before Shinyo could reply, "Whatever, it doesn't matter right now. I don't care. I'll buy you food. You don't need to do," he loosely indicates with a hand the alleyway, the ground, the dumpster, the trashbag still open on the ground, like he can't find the right words to describe the scene he just assisted to. "This."

It's a trap. It's surely a trap. "What d'ya want in exchange?"

"Nothing."

"Liar. Nothing is free in the world." It's a crude truth he got to know himself way too soon that he would have liked. The scar on his face stings at the thought. 

"Well, some things should, apparently. Like food and water."

Shinyo thinks about it. He thinks about it for a long minute. He could take the bag and try to outrun him, but he knows it would be too difficult. His feet are numb, he's not as fast as he would be while flying and he doesn't know the layout of this city well enough, he could run into a blind end. Also, he's just so tired. Another cramp from his stomach makes him double down, arms wrapped around his middle as if to try and silence the traitorous sounds. Once it ended, he takes a long, long breath. "Okay," he murmors, not looking into Todoroki's eyes.

~~~

The house is immense. It's so damn big Shinyo would get lost if it weren't for his well honed sense of direction. It also obviously belongs to some rich bastard, so he makes sure to leave as much grime and dirt as possible on the tatami mats he walks on and on the walls he skimps with the tips of his fingers. 

The trip there has been quiet, the silence between them filled to the brim with so many unexpressed questions to become loud. Shinyo hasn't broken it, Todoroki didn't either.

"Why are you here, by the way? We're far away from Musutafu," he mutters once they reach the wing of the villa they were apparently headed to. 

Todoroki's breathing does that funny little thing it always does when somebody - usually Shinyo - asks him a question he really doesn't want to answer, but also knows that by not answering he'd only attract even more questions, and he sighs. "My father's been called for a team-up with some local heroes. Mom was on vacation in Hokkaido, so I had to tag along," he explains, calm. Goes to open one of the sliding doors, revealing what looks like a bedroom: it's anonymous, with a big Occidental bed against a corner and no personal items around, except for one luggage left open on the floor, in a corner. Todoroki enters the room, silent in his slippers, and goes crouching beside the luggage.

Shinyo follows him inside after one long second, unsure. He doesn't like this situation, this place. He feels like he's walking into the lion's den, but the place is warmer than the outside; he can feel blood start flowing correctly in his feet once again, making him feel pins and needles all over them. It's un unpleasant feeling, but Shinyo knows it's a good sign. It means everything's still working as it should. "Why you're not with your mother? She didn't want ya 'round?" Asks, just to say something, really. It's not like he really cares.

Todoroki briefly stops rummaging through the luggage, but starts again soon after. He's showing Shinyo his back, which is such a dumb move Shinyo should show him. 

Never, never give your back to a predator. Got it, you little shithead?! Gods, I should kick your lil ass 'round a little more just for that. Don't you dare disrespecting me like that again, got it?!

"She wanted to relax, she said. Having me around is apparently not relaxing enough," he simply decided to say, rising to his feet with something in his arms. He goes back to Shinyo, handing it to him.

Shinyo looks down at the bundle of... clothes? Without touching it. "What's that?"

Todoroki raises an eyebrow. "They're clothes," states then the obvious. "You can't put those back on, they're..." he doesn't finish the sentence, but the implication is enough to make Shinyo's feathers ruffle up, offended.

Then, something clicks. He takes a step back, bends his knees a little, just to be ready to run if needed. "Why are you implyin' that I gotta undress myself, fireboy?" asks, voice low, heart a little faster in his chest.

"You're going to take a shower. You reek," Todoroki simply says, like it's for granted, like Shinyo chose to not be able to wash old sweat and grime and blood off himself. Rude, rude, rude, so fucking rude.

"You're an asshole, has anybody ever told you that?" Shinyo huffs, but he doesn't decline the implicit offer. How was the idiom? Don't look a gift chicken in the beak? Something like that, aye.

Todoroki just shrugs. "If you don't want them-"

He snatches the bundle in less than a second. "Hey! Never said that! Now they're mine! Sucks to be you," and blows a raspberry. 

Todoroki blinks, then clearly decides that Shinyo's childishness is not his problem to fix and makes a gesture to one of the doors in the room. "Bathroom's there. Don't steal anything from it, or from the house. I'll know it and I'll roast your ass as soon as I get you. Got it?"

"Aye aye, captain!" And with a faux military salute, Shinyo goes to the bathroom. And promptly locks himself inside with the key, being sure to turn it both times to properly engage the mechanism. He can pick it, but he's pretty sure Todoroki's not able to.

Shinyo takes a deep breath, yet another since he woke up this morning. The bathroom is as opulent as the rest of the house, but it has a feature he immediately fixates onto: the shower. It's so damn big, big enough to give him space for his wings and then some. He could cry, he could literally cry, because it's so different from the cramped cubicles of the ship, from the backyard hoses he sometimes uses, from the few public bathrooms that allow him to strip-wash enough to be at least somewhat clean.

As soon as his hand touches the mixer's knob, though, Shinyo pauses. What if he's trying to poison me? What if he's trying to make fun of me?

The water should be unusable because of the villain attack, that he knows for sure, but he doesn't really know if they decided to just stop the furniture to the houses or if they kept it running even if polluted. It's not like he's had, y'know, a house to check or something. They stopped the service of public fountains, yes, but perhaps they left the houses' one. 

Maybe he's trying to poison me, Shinyo suddenly thinks, he does think of me as a rat, after all.

It makes sense. It's vile, really, but it makes sense. He didn't pin Todoroki for a poison kind of guy, but he does talk about how much he hates him and how much he'd like to burn him to a crisp or arrest him and watch him rot behind bars, when he's all riled up. Shinyo thought it meant going out in a blaze of glory, but well.

His aching stomach has been a second thought for a while now, so he doesn't find it difficult to ignore another cramp in favour of exiting the bathroom. "Hey, hero student!"

Todoroki looks up from his phone - some expensive thing, surely, with only a screen and no buttons -. "You're already done? I didn't hear the shower."

"Yeah, no, no shit. Come drink the water," Shinyo dares, exes fixated on the other boy.

Todoroki looks confused, but to his credit he does stand up, pocketing his phone on his way to the bathroom. "Do you really think I'd go through the hassle of bringing you here just to poison you?" Asks, sounding offended.

Shinyo's eyes don't stray from him, wings tensed and ready if needed. "I think that I don't trust heroes. Or hero spawn," spits, having his fun with pouring gasoline on the literal fire that's Todoroki's anger. Knows he reached his goal when some sparks fly from Todoroki's hands, forcing him to close them in fists to dispel them, probably.

(Shinyo doesn't flinch. He doesn't. Todoroki's face does something weird looking at him just because, and then he avoids Shinyo's gaze for no reason at all.)

Todoroki just takes a deep breath and goes to the sink. Opens it without a care in the world and bends down, using one hand as a cup to drink some of the fresh, clear water that's pouring from the faucet. After five sips or so, he rises, ending the stream while looking at Shinyo. "The villa has its own water tank, it comes directly from a different sorgent. It's clean."

Shinyo hears him, he does, but he's not looking at Todoroki, no. It's with detachment that he feels his body moving, almost like it's doing it on its own, and he shoves past the other's body to sneak between him and the sink. Then, he opens the faucet once again and doesn't even wash his hands before starting to drink so much water he feels his stomach gurgle and protest.

With all the grime on him the water tastes badly, salty and muddy, but it's water, damn it. Shinyo didn't even know he was so thirsty. Can distantly hear the sound of steps, then the bathroom's door closing with a soft click, but he doesn't care, it doesn't matter. When he finally feels satisfied - and, honestly, nauseous because of the way he just drank after a couple of days of rationing what little bottled water he had left - he stops the flow and leans against the porcelain, panting a little to try and gain his breath back. Headache's already fading a little. Good.

Shinyo goes to the door and locks it once again, ignoring the absence of Todoroki, the fact that he left him alone - the fact that apparently he did own a single, hidden empathetic bone in his body. Maybe, - and starts stipping. Drops his dirty and ripped clothes on the shower plate to wash them too because it's his only change ever since he took too long on that one mission a month and a half ago and they thought him dead, pillaging his hammock for his belongings - Jun didn't look after his stuff he didn't even know apparently he's been away it hurts it hurts it hurts they're a flock a flock look after each other they're a flock a flock a flock- is two a flock? Yes it is goddamn it it is -. Once naked, Shinyo enters the shower, fiddles with the knobs to start the water flow, and forgets himself under the stream.

When he comes out of it his skin is pink because of the hot water - hot water! He couldn't remember the last time he got to use hot water to shower. It's been a blessing for his wings - and he's dripping all over the floor. Heh, not his problem. Takes the fluffiest towel he can find and uses it to try himself up real good, rubbing it through his hair to absorb as much water as possible. There's inside heating in the house, so it'll dry anyway, but at least he won't wet the collar of the new sweater. 

Speaking of which, Todoroki lended him some clothes, yes, but they're nice clothes. A deep red turtleneck that reminds him of the shade of his feathers when wet, some black boxer briefs - that make Shinyo blush, somehow - and some dark grey pants, way smarter than anything Shinyo has ever touched or worn. They're also, like, five sizes too big each. 

Shinyo doesn't care, he's never been picky in anything, he can't afford it with his lifestyle, so he just dresses up from the waist down and tries to decide what to do with the turtleneck. It feels like it's made of wool, and it's so soft that Shinyo's sure that's how clouds must feel - not the low ones, no. Those are heavy with rain, full of water, they feel good on hot days but during the colder months it's like running sopping wet through an infinite freezer. No, he's thinking about the clouds that dot the bluest sky during a sunny summer day, the ones that are always depicted into paintings and pictures and such. The ones too high in the sky for him to actually touch without his ears exploding under the lack of pressure. Those clouds, - and he's not sure he wants to rip it open to make space for his wings. He can't stall forever either, so he just takes a breath and cuts two slits into the back of the turtleneck before wiggling into it; it's so big the sleeves go past the tips of his fingers, so he just folds them up until they're more manageable. It's ugly as fuck, but heh, it'll do.

So, he squeezes the last of the water from his own clothes, lays them on the raging hot radiator and gathers all of his courage before exiting the room.

As soon as he does, he's welcomed by the vision of Todoroki sitting on the bed, occupied with what looks like a textbook. 

The boy immediately rises his eyes on him, holding his gaze for a second, then lowers it on Shinyo's figure and fucking snorts. 

It breaks the tension that Shinyo felt steadily growing between them. "Hey! Why are you laughing?"

"You look like a wet poult."

Shinyo fights against his own body to keep the flush that threatens to crawl up his face down. His feathers ruffle in indignation though. "The fuck? I don't! I look cool, that's how I look like! You're just jealous your clothes fit me better than you."

"If you can call that 'fitting'," Todoroki rubs it in, making a vague gesture towards him.

Shinyo just shrugs and pads closer to the bed, hesitant in his steps. He's clean now, he feels better than he felt in the last, what? Five months? Six? A year? He's not sure, but still. He doesn't feel like he can trespass the limits of Todoroki's nest bed. Also, now that he doesn't have the water to enjoy, the pangs in his stomach are making themselves known again.

It must show on his face, somehow, because Todoroki closes his book and raises to his feet. "I ordered some takeout, it will be here soon," he announces. 

Shinyo doesn't know what to say. He didn't think he'd actually get some food out of this whole deal. While in the shower he made peace with the thought that at least he got to get clean and to drink some water before Todoroki's plan to somehow humiliate him reached its conclusion. "I can't pay you back," he hears himself whisper, eyes suddenly attracted by the boring wallpaper right beside the bed. Can feel his wings close a little around him, still damp and weightened down, the feathers all ruffled to try and dry themselves faster. The bald spot on his right wing tickles unpleasantly, colder than the rest of the limb.

"I don't expect you to. It's fine."

Shinyo's eyes snap back at him. He should blink, he makes people uncomfortable when he doesn't, he knows it, Junto told him. He doesn't want to make Todoroki uncomfortable, somehow.

He doesn't blink.

Todoroki holds his gaze like it's nothing. Like it doesn't make people shy away from him, like it doesn't make dogs whimper in fear, like it doesn't make the other kids on the ship tremble and look away even before he could actually stare them down.

Todoroki does it like it's natural, like it's easy.

Shinyo doesn't know how to feel about it.

As if on cue, the moment is broken by the doorbell. Shinyo is the first to look away, pointing at the bedroom's door immediately. He's still calculating the fastest route to get to the front door when Todoroki walks past him and pushes him towards the bed. "Sit down, I'll go answer it. Behave."

Shinyo'd like to snap back at him that he's not a damned dog, but Todoroki is already out of the room, and it's not like Shinyo actually cares about what the redhead thinks of him. Hell, he can think whatever as long as he'll bring him that fucking food asap. He's basically vibrating on the spot, hands curled up into the hem of the turtleneck to try and still their trembling, wings flared open in the enormous space of the bedroom; realizes his eyes are closed too to try and focus on his hearing only when he has to open them once he hears the loud thud of the front door being closed.

Then, the soft, slow sound of steps on wood, on tatami mats, on wood once again. And finally, the bedroom door opens again.

Shinyo's stomach aches, it contracts unpleasantly, lets out a noise he's oh so sure Todoroki heard too, it would have been impossible for him to miss it even with a normal person's hearing, it's so loud, and it drowns out everything, everything, everything, even the sound of his own growl. 

"Shit, and then you get all pissy when I call you an animal," Todoroki mutters, going to sit down on the edge of the bed with not one, not two, but three different takeout bags in his hands. 

Shinyo's growl gets louder before he catches himself and swallows it down with the words he'd like to spit back at the redhead. No, he's not stupid. He's not going to risk Todoroki's anger and pettiness over something so small. 

Even if, a stern voice reminds him. Gods, it sounds so much like Junto's, before this whole Harima shitshow, even if, what he said is big. He called ya 'animal', Shin. Ya're not, we're not. Fuck him and his fucking food.

But he's so hungry, the simple fact that he's smelling it is already unbearable. Has to swallow thick saliva before parting his lips to talk. "'M not. Watch it, Todoroki," he threatens, but the annoyed huff that comes from the other is enough to prove that yes, Todoroki knows he has all the leverage he needs, at the moment, and Shinyo hates it.

His feathers bristle behind his back, knees bent, ready to jump and sprint and do whatever is needed to pry the food from the brat's hands- given he doesn't turn it into ashes on the spot. But he wouldn't, right...? He spent some money over it. He wouldn't- goddamnit, I should have stayed out, never follow him inside, never accept anything from him. Liar, liar, liar, he just wants to make fun of me, just wants to rub it in my face, just wants to- 

Todoroki starts unpacking the food. Right there, on the bed, without a care in the world, apparently. He even uses the plastic bags as some sort of makeshift towel on which putting the containers, to be sure to not stain the covers underneath.

Shinyo's stomach growls again. His eyes sting. This is the most cruel thing Todoroki has ever done to him. The food smells so good he can feel his talons grow a little to better sink into the prey, to keep it still, keep it there while he feeds and gorges on it and eats and he's so hungry and-

And. And Todoroki has stopped. Lets his eyes wander on Shinyo's hunched down frame, on the place where he's fighting against himself and to not stress grip the sweater, it's so nice, he doesn't want to ruin it, he- "You can come," the redhead says. Even hands him one of the still closed containers.

Shinyo doesn't remember moving, doesn't remember crossing the room, but one second he's near the door, the next one he's kneeling beside the bed, box in hand, lid discarded somewhere on the floor. He doesn't care. Doesn't even know what's in the container and it's so hot it burns his hands a little where he holds it and it burns his tongue and his mouth but it's so good. He sobs. Just one tiny, silent sound.

Todoroki seems to hear it. He also seems to ignore it. Gives Shinyo a few minutes to calm down and start breathing again between bites - 

"Don't go so fast, you'll be sick. You have to slow down." 

- before moving a little on the bed, as if to make space. "Here, sit down. It's more comfortable anyway."

Shinyo looks up at him from his place on the floor, chin wet with sauce and tears and a mouthful of piping hot pork still in his mouth. The same thing he was eating not even three hours ago. The same thing, but so, so damn different at the same time. "Wo-t..?" asks, but then swallows his bite and clears his throat. "What?"

"You. On the bed," Todoroki explains, patient. Which is a weird look on him, a weird undertone in his voice. He's not patient, he's the epitome of 'not patient'. 

Shinyo blinks. Looks down at his hands, both dirty with sauce and bits of food, looks down at the box on the floor between his bony knees, now covered with pants that are probably worth what plumage is left on his right wing at the black market. He's- He forces himself to snort a laugh. It's just a crude imitation of one, too broken with silent tears and tiredness and exhaustion and straight up defeat, because "I didn't think ya'd let beasts on the bed," he comments, voice too dry to consider the sentence as a joke. 

It's Todoroki's turn to look away. "Just- shut up and sit here. Why do you always have to make things so difficult?" 

Shinyo doesn't answer. He just picks his box up, uncaring of dirtying it, and rises to his feet, only to plop his ass down on the edge of the bed, as far away from Todoroki as possible. Then, he goes back to eating- even if 'scarfing down' would be a better way to describe his franticness.

(Todoroki doesn't look at him. Or, if he does, doesn't comment over the way Shinyo hunches down on his food to try and cover as much of it as possible from some invisible threat, how his wings are all flared out and puffed up to make him look bigger and more intimidating, how his eyes darts around the room to try and follow the shadows that hide in every corner of his vision. Doesn't comment over the low, constant growl Shinyo emits, or the way he bares his fangs when Todoroki tries to get a napkin from a bag a little too close to Shinyo's ration of the food.)

They both eat in silence, mostly. At least, for a good while. Then Shinyo slows down, because his stomach is not used to so much food anymore, and he dares to try and relax a little. His wings feel cramped with how tense they've been for the past twenty minutes or so, his neck hurts too for the way he's been eating, and now he does actually feel the little burns on his fingers and in his mouth due to the too hot foot. 

Todoroki is still eating from one of his own containers - less than the ones he separated and left closer to Shinyo, he notices. Shinyo's sure it means nothing, surely the hothead just missclicked while ordering or something like that -. He looks up at him, finally. Stares.

"What?" Shinyo snaps, locking his eyes with Todoroki's, staring him down. Say something, I dare you.

"Why are you here?" the redhead suddenly asks.

Which is not what Shinyo expected to come from him. He lowers his gaze on the talons of his right hand, brings one to his mouth to lick the sauce off. Shogayaki. He didn't even recognize the dish in the heat of the moment. " 'M travelling," he simply says, taking another slice of pork between thumb and forefinger and bringing it to his lips.

Todoroki raises an eyebrow. "You're travelling," he deadpans, clearly not buying it.

"Yup, exactly that. Lil' more sentiment next time, aye?" he tries to joke, but it falls flat even to his own ears.

"And what's the story with this 'aye' thing you're doing? I've never heard you answering like this before. It's annoying, stop it."

Shit. That fucking slang they insist on making them use. "It's nothin', really. Just something us cool kids use nowadays, don't worry your nerdy little head over it."

Todoroki frowns, just a little. "Do you ever stop being so fucking unsufferable for fifteen minutes'"

"Nope! Never, really. It's a gift, y'know?" 

Silence falls again between the two of them. Shinyo's not crying anymore, so he uses one of the towels to try and regain some veneer of composure, and opens his third box. He's quite full by now, but he doesn't know when it'll be the next occasion he'll have something to eat, so he'd rather push his limits a little more and hope to not puke it all up then ending up hungry again in less than a day. He's in the middle of trying to swallow  a very stubborn morsel when Todoroki speaks again.

"You can leave it, if you're full. I don't feel like cleaning up your sick from the floor."

Shinyo's feathers bristle, his wings flutter, dull red feathers catching the light - Gods, he needs to eat better. His wings look and feel so bad right now, an itchy mess on his back -. "Dunno what you're talkin' about, big boy. 'M peachy over here," he lies, and while his voice is steady enough, he can't really control the way he instinctively tries to cover his food with his body, to protect it from somebody who might want to steal it, to take it away from him.

Todoroki says nothing about it. He just asks if what he ordered for him is good enough. Which is kind of dumb, anything is good after ten days or so with just enough in his stomach to not pass out, oftentimes not even that, and he looks at him for a second before giggling and nodding. 

After that, it looks like a dam has broken, because conversation flows somewhat freely between the two of them-

("Do you have any siblings?"

"..."

"I don't. I'm an only child."

"... Sometimes that's better."

And,

"But why a hero? You could be so many other things. A lawyer. You already look like one, boring as hell and always grumpy!"

"I want to help people, I told you already."

"Aye, aye, it's for the money, isn't it?"

"It's not."

"Suuuure thing mate."

And,

"What's your favourite dish?"

"Oh, that's a no-brainer. Grilled cobra. Mama used to prepare it with cashews an-"

"What?"

“What?”

“Grilled cobra? For real?”

"Aye! It's so good! The meat turns so juicy and tender! Aw, come on, don't make that face! Ruuuuu-de!"

"Pick a more normal meal, Takami."

"Nu-huh! Tha' s my answer! ... What's yours?"

"Kuzumochi."

"That's a sweet! It doesn't count!"

"If your gross snake thing counts, then a traditional Japanese dessert counts too."

“Hey! ‘S not ‘gross’! You gotta try it before judging me!”

“Not even in a million years.”

“Tsk.”

“... And I couldn't, anyway. Not cooked like that.”

“Huh?”

“I'm allergic to cashews.”

“...”

“Oi! Don't laugh!” )

- when Shinyo realizes that he's not been eating for a while, by now. His belly is finally 'full and happy', as Toriko would say - don't think about it don't think about it don't think about it don't think about it don't- -, and he lets go of a long, silent breath. He feels more relaxed than a couple of hours ago, and the shower is finally catching up with him, adding itself to all the tiredness that piled up on his shoulders since ever. Shinyo's so tired, all the time, always, but right now he can feel himself dozing off while still sitting on-

He's still sitting on Todoroki's bed. This realization is enough to snap him awake, blinking fast to check his surroundings. 

And catching Todoroki staring at him.

"What?" Shinyo feels like a broken record by now, but he can't bring himself to care or to be more articulated, right now.

"You can sleep here. If you want."

He tenses, immediately. Parts of old conversations flicker in his mind, nothin's free in this world and heroes are the worst, never accept nothin' from 'em and don't you dare getting yourself a debt you dunno how to pay for. Only accept clear conditions, got it? and you stupid, stupid fucker! Idiot! Our family name's wasted on you! 

His heart is too fast, he's sure Todoroki can hear him too. "Why?"

"Why the fuck are you always so skittish?!" Todoroki bursts out, but he doesn't scream, doesn't actually rise his voice. He's just... stern. It's weird. Shinyo's uneasy. "I bought you food, I made you shower, I'm pretty sure you don't got a place to sleep or I wouldn't have found you rummaging through the trash otherwise! Why do you always expect I'm trying to stab you in the back or something?! I'm not a villain!" 

The 'like you' falls unsaid, but it's as explosive as the rest of Todorki's words.

Shinyo stares at him, because that's what it looks like, then? A normal life, a life in which he wouldn't have to fight tooth and nail and talon to just barely survive, to live another day, to just pass by. A life in which you have three guaranteeded hot meals and a place to crash and sleep and clothes and the freedom to roam the streets and the country and maybe have some friends that aren't waiting for just the right occasion to fuck you over and gain as much as possible from it. A life in which you can just freely give to people without the fear of being robbed of every last shred of humanity you've got, a life in which you can just help somebody with no other reason behind. 

He's so envy.

"If you're really asking me that, you wouldn't survive five hours living in my shoes," is what Shinyo settles to say. It's not an answer, per se, but he hopes the meaning goes through anyway. We live in different worlds, Enji. The sooner you accept it, the better for the both of us.

"Yeah," Todoroki answers, bitterly, "Yeah, I wouldn't. I know that. You're-..." Words seem to die on his tongue, gaze unfocused for just a second, and Shinyo can bet he heard his pulse speed up for a few seconds. Curious. "You gotta fight every day to stay alive, I got it. Just- let me, I don't know. Help you." He looks away. "Please."

Shinyo stills on the bed. He doesn't even breathe. Surely Todoroki wouldn't lower himself to asking him so nicely just to make him regret it, right? It's not like it was Shinyo's idea in the first place. His thoughts feel muddy, slow, and he blinks, using the back of his wrist to rub at his eye. 

"But why?" asks now, again, softer. He doesn't want to fight anymore, doesn't have the energy for it. He just wants to understand.

Todoroki doesn't answer immediately. He seems to mull on his words, to try and articulate them in a way that could make sense for Shinyo too. "I just want to do something good. To help you. You need it. Allow me to."

"Oh, so ya jus' wanna feel better 'bout yourself. Got it," he slurs, the hint of a joke in his voice, but it's lost among the syllables, among the strain that just talking is, right now. He can feel himself slouching, wings heavy with sleep.

Todoroki sighs. He sounds exhausted too. "Yeah, whatever makes you sleep at night," he simply says. 

Shinyo watches him clearing the bed through heavy eyelids, then his head hits something oh so soft. Then, the bliss of nothing.

~~~

He doesn't know how long it has been. He feels like he's been flying for years and years, waves so big around him they make him dizzy when they crash on the surface of the water under an indifferent sun. So indifferent, in fact, that it's hiding behind another sea, this one made of dark, tempestuous clouds, without even the decency to dignify one of its sons risking his life for the right to breathe for one more day with its presence. 

No, Shinyo is alone. Utterly, terrifyingly alone. 

No land in sight, no ship either, nothing, nothing, nothing, only grey wherever he looks, up or down, and then grey comes crashing down on him and he's on a floor, he doesn't know which one, he's been shoved on so many different floors in his short life, he grew accustomated to some of them especially, like the one he is on right now, the ship's one, but then the metal changes and morphes and he's on wood, but then no again, everything mutates, everything blends together, and it's sunny now, the sun is shining in the sky, there's dirt under him and in the air, he can't breathe, his face pulsates at the same rhythm of his heartbeat and it's fast it's fast it's too fast it's giving him an headache he can't think and he's bleeding oh god he's bleeding, it's all on his shirt and his face and his neck and his hands and a shadow, a shadow covers the sun, and people are talking and screaming and he can't hear them over the sound of his own heart and his head hurts and the shadow is there and it's sunny, it's sunny, the sun is shining, but it's also not so shiny, isn't it...? It... It isn't- so why- mom- mo- Junto-...! Don't-

The world comes back all at once, and not even in its entirety. Only the important bits. The room he doesn't recognize, the fact that he has no idea what he's laying on, the fact that he's not in his clothes. The hand that grabbed him.

After fourteen years spent trying to survive no matter what, against all the odds, Shinyo's body moves on its own. He lashes out, instinctively, without any kind of plan or goal or target, wanting to simply scare away the stranger, make himself a difficult target, because if he's a difficult target then they'll leave him alone, he won't be worth the struggle, he'll be safe, he'll-

"What the fuck?! Takami! Shinyo! Calm down!"

He knows this voice. Oh. Oh no, Shinyo knows this voice. His sluggish brain finally catches up with the situation, and he stops. Halts the disgraceful fleeting of limbs and teeth and wings and just. Stills. Can feel the tonic immobility creeping up on him, taking control fo his muscles and his limbs and he's so still he's faintly trembling, both hands stress gripping Todoroki's forearm without Shinyo having any say in the matter. 

Bringing himself to raise his eyes is a herculean task, but Shinyo manages, somehow. 

Todoroki looks like a mess. He's wearing some sort of pyjamas, it looks comfortable, but it's sitting all wrong on him, like he just finished a wrestling match. And his eyes are still heavy with sleep.

Right, sleep. They were sleeping. Shinyo was sleeping. In a hero spawn's bed, nonetheless. 

(He can't remember the last time he slept on a bed.)

Gods. This is how he dies. He's so sure of it. Tries to lessen his grip, tries to relax his fingers, but he's too nervous, too- too afraid to let go.

Todoroki doesn't seem to understand it, though.

"Why the hell are you holding me? First you try to slit my throat in your sleep and then you act like that?! What the hell?!"

Shinyo can't speak. His throat is too closed up, he feels like he's choking, his heart is too fast, too fast too fast too fast, he can't think, and in his mind's eye he's still on that floor, on that ground, and dust is in the air and the sun is high in the sky and his wings are closing up around him to try and shield him from the world, feathers all ruffled up in distress, and there's somebody who's crying, and it takes him too long to understand that it's him the one who's crying, and he hides his face, pushes his chin against his chest, brings his wings close, close, closer, but it's not enough, it's not like when mom did it with him, it's not like the very few times Junto did, it's not enough, and another sob breaks free from his throat and then a vocalization a soft broken coo and he can't. He just. He can't.

"I can't let go," manages to whisper, voice so frail Shinyo's not sure it's actually his. Gods, if Junto were to see him right now he'd just punch him in the face or something. 

Todoroki doesn't answer, not immediately at least. Shinyo can feel the mattress move under the weight of the other boy, then him coming closer to him, to not strain his arm too much. "Is it a quirk thing?" asks, indelicate as always, but Shinyo couldn't care less, at the moment. 

He just nods, bringing his knees to his chest, hiding his face behind them and then them behind his wings, only his hands and his hair peeking out of the plumage. Gods, his wings. They're so ruffled, so messy right now. So ugly.

Todoroki sighs. "It's okay. Just, don't grip harder. I can wait it out," he simply says, like it's nothing.

Shinyo would snort, on every other occasion. He can't bring himself to, now.

He's not crying anymore, but he also doesn't feel like looking Todoroki in the eye. Apparently, there's no need to.

"You were talking in your sleep. Sounded agitated. I just wanted to wake you up from whatever you were dreaming."

The words catch Shinyo by surprise, half because he didn't expect Todoroki to say something, half because of their meaning. And half because the readhead doesn't look at him, no - that makes three halves, which is not how maths works, too. Good thing that Shinyo's really bad at it, aye? -. When Shinyo peeks from behind his curtain of feathers he finds the other boy looking to the far side from him, as if- embarassed?

Gods, this whole thing is so humiliating. Shinyo tries to flex his fingers, but it's not like it is with Junto, he can't bring himself to relax, yet.

Todoroki clears his throat. "What's this for?" asks, moving the arm that Shinyo's gripping just a little.

Shinyo doesn't want to answer. Tries to make himself smaller, waits it out to try and make Todoroki lose interest somehow, but. But they'll stay like this forever if he doesn't manage to calm down, so he takes a deep breath. " 'S an avian thing. Instinctual. comes out with strong emotions or stress or, I dunno, anxiety. I guess." Aye, keep on painting a big red bullseye on your weak points like you don't know he'll use them to try and stab you in the back as soon as possible. Very well done, fucker.

Todoroki raises an eyebrow, looking down at his own arm, at Shinyo's - bony, frail looking, with broken talons and cracked skin - hands, knuckles white with the strength he's putting in his hold. "It sounds like a dangerous instinct."

Shinyo chuckles, with no real humor in it. "Yeah, no, it is. Usually I can fight it back, but now I was sleeping and I didn't feel it coming." He doesn't have to justify himself, doesn't know why he's doing it in the first place, it's Todoroki who woke him up and scared him shitless caught him off guard, it should be him to apologize to him.

Todoroki keeps quiet for a long while, the only sounds to disturb the silence of the night the ones of a storm that's threatening to break down the sky and show them the fury of the Gods. Shinyo finds himself dozing off a couple of times, still so damn tired. And comfortable, in a way. 

A shift in the mattress wakes him up again, startled, wings puffed up in discomfort in a second, tense and ready to fight the next. His semi-bald spot on his right wing itches with pin feathers that don't have enough nutrients yet to actually start growing as they should. Shinyo's eyes dart through the room immediately, sharpening his talons on instinct to try and not be caught so off guard when he finally realizes that he can flex his fingers. 

Nobody in the room tries to jump him. Rain is pattering against the glass of the windows in the room, the curtains left open just enough to allow some far, far away lightning to illuminate the place just enough to make out the shapes of the objects in the room. Objects, and inhabitants.

Todoroki is still there, on the bed, beside him. His pyjama's left sleeve is dotted with ten little darker spots. Blood, Shinyo realizes after a long second. Blood, from where his talons broke the other boy's skin. Still sitting, still wide awake, still staring at Shinyo like he's a puzzle the redhead can't quite solve. 

Shinyo can feel it through the semi darkness, the way those cobalt eyes try to pry every layer of him away, try to go deeper and deeper, try to reach his soul - or what's left of it - and lay it down between them, a canvas already marked with pain and violence and death and exhaustion and privation, and Shinyo's so sure that it looks too much for such a small duck cloth, but fourteen years of hardship do this to somebody, do this and worse. 

He can't understand him. Todoroki's such an enigma, to him. So damn easy to gauge his reactions, to make him tick, to get under his skin, to provoke him, but there's more, that's for sure. Shinyo makes fun of him, but he's not as mindless and braindead as he shows. 

(And it's concerning, thinking about how deep, how far he can see. It's terrifying. It's feels he's waiting for the perfect instant to pull the smallest of the thread and watch Shinyo fall apart like a castle of cards at the first breeze.)

(It feels like he'd stay to rummage through the pieces until he'll find what he's looking for.)

(It feels like he'd even try and help to put all of the shards back together, after.)

"Sleep. It's still early," are the words which Todoroki chooses to break their silence.

Shinyo exhales, hugs his own knees, hides his face behind them, wings limp and uncomfortable at his sides. "Can't. Ya look like somebody who believes in the boogyman. Gotta keep guard or you'll end up cryin'," 

A small spark flies from Todoroki's hand. "That's bullshit. Not even children believe in those stories."

Aye, but they should. There's way worse than the boogyman, out there. Shinyo would know, he parades the price of his survival on his face. Usually he'd retort with something, but tonight he's just, too tired. Just too tired to talk, to be witty, to think. He'd love nothing more than falling asleep, but he can't relax in a place he doesn't know, especially with company. So he makes do with what free time he has and starts preening his left wing. Tries to ignore Todoroki's presence, the way his feathers feel dry to the touch even though he just washed them as best as possible, tries to focus only on the feeling of each feather, of each barb, of the way it felt when it was mama to do it, and he just gets lost in one of his most calming instincts that he have, if not the calmest. The rhythm of his talons fixing every twisted feather, caressing back together the barbs, untwining them where they got all messed up from his flying and the lack of proper care due to the stalling that there's been on the Fu Yang lately. Shinyo doesn't know why's that, but what he does know is that no missions mean no reason for Harima to give him meat, which means more delicate feathers, which means more twisting and snapping and thinning out of them. He really, really hopes that the missing feathers are due to this and not some sort of infection or sickness, because that'd mean that he's done for. Probably- aye, no, not 'probably'. Surely. Yeah. Surely he'd ask Junto to kill him. 

Shinyo doesn't want to find out what his brother's reaction at that particular order would be.

The bed dips again. Shinyo doesn't open his eyes this time, doesn't give a scrap of acknowledgment to Todoroki, hoping that by ignoring him he'll leave him alone in return. He doesn't have the energy. 

(Sounds of soft walking. A light is turned on somewhere in the house, close enough to filtrate through Shinyo's eyelids and give the darkness a reddish tint. Some rummaging through cabinets, metal moving on metal- silverware. Todoroki's in the kitchen, for some reason. The sound of a seal being opened and then closed- the fridge? Some more rummaging, metal against ceramic, something soft and almost... airy? Being moved. The seal again. Steps. The light stays on.)

When the mattress moves one more time though, it disrupts Shinyo enough to make him half open his eyes to glare at Todoroki. He can do it better now, with the soft, orangy light coming from the doorway. Shinyo's vision is so damn shitty in the dark.

His glare gives place to curiosity as soon as he sees what the fireboy brought, though. It's a small ceramic bowl, white, filled with something... brown. Which looks incredibly non peck-ish even to Shinyo, who's been half starved for the good part of a week. It looks so unappetizing, in fact, that he directly snorts.

Todoroki stops with a spoonful of that thing mid-air. "What?"

"What the fuck is that? It-" another giggle, because this whole thing is just so stupid. "It looks like poop."

The redhead just makes a face and eats his spoonful of whatever that is. 

"Oh, come on! Tell me!"

"It's ice cream," Todoroki mutters, as if it's painful for him to answer Shinyo. Oh, well. Not Shinyo's problem.

"No way. Ice creams are on those little sticks, so kids can walk around an' play while eatin' 'em. Also they sell them in convenience stores! They don't look like that at all!"

"This is artisanal, you chicken brain. It comes in a tub and you scoop it out and eat it from a bowl."

Now, Shinyo is a lot of things, and 'curious' is very, very high on the list. Maybe too high for his own good, he paid the consequences of his own curiosity so many times in his short life, but heh. Curiosity killed the cat, but satisfaction brought it back, right? (Even though Shinyo would have preferred for the cat to stay well dead. Y'know, one less feline out in the wild for him to squabble with.)

So. Curious. Oh so curious. Curious enough to cross his legs and scoot a little bit closer on the mattress, hands on his ankles and wings all puffed up both because relaxed from the preening and clean - and pretty pretty pretty oh so pretty, look at them. Look. Look look look all pretty for yo- - and he tilts his head to the right, just a tiny tiny tiny little bit. Can't really fight it when he's interested in something. "Can I try some? Let me try some!"

"What? No. It'd be wasted on you, I bet you got no taste anyway. And you said it looks like poop," Todoroki immediately answers, holding his little bowl closer to his chest, but regardless of his words, regardless of the flatness of his tone, there's a sparkle in his eyes, a tilt to his lips. Amusement.

Shinyo grins. And he pounces. 

He doesn't do it as fast as he could, he doesn't shrpen his talons nor flashes his fangs, he just tries to prevail on Todoroki, to- to annoy him.

"Come on! Don't be so mean! I just wanna try it a little! I've never had ice cream before!"

"I said no, pigeon! Get off!" But he's smiling, it's small but it's there, and they wrestle on the bed for half a minute in a flair of arms and legs and wings and feathers, Shinyo in clear disadvantage because lighter and less strong, but Todoroki is forced to fight without a hand to not risk spilling the ice cream everywhere, and he curses under his breath, body growing hotter and hotter with his frustration - and fun. He might not admit it, but it's there. It's a good look on his face -.

Finally, Todoroki wins. Or Shinyo lets him win, it's unclear. But Shinyo finds himself on his back, wings uncomfortably pinned under his back, Todoroki's weight on his stomach, both wrists pinned under each of the redhead's knees. They ache, Shinyo has fragile, hollow bones, but he tries to wiggle out anyway, stubborn.

(There's something in his back. It hurts, it hurts way more than his wrists, than his wings. It's a solid weight, not too big, just at the base of his spine, pressing against the flesh and grating against bone and driving him insane insane insane, because it hurts it always hurts it constantly hurts ever since Harima put it there but he can't get it out, he can't get it out, he can't, he asked Junto but he- he said- he didn't- oh, Gods. Don't think about it. It's nothing, it's nothing. Don't think about it don't think about it don't-)

"You can try it."

Shinyo stops for a long second, surprised. He didn't expect Todoroki to actually say yes. Not out loud, at least.

Still, the boy doesn't move from Shinyo's body. 

"Difficult eatin' with ya crashin' my stomach, big boy," he mutters, half jokingly, half not.

Todoroki seems lost in thoughts, but he realizes what he needs to do soon enough, because he moves from Shinyo to sit down on the bed beside him, cross legged.

Shinyo imitates him. He's close enough he can feel the heat radiating from the other's body, and his own, traitorous body leans in, trying to soak up as much warmth as possible. (Todoroki's heart is still beating a little too fast in his chest. Surely it's because of their fight, no other explanation needed.)

"What flavour is it?"

"Chocolate. Here, use this."

Shinyo takes the spoon he's being handed. (He tries not to think that it's another spoon, not the one Todoroki was using.)

The ice cream looks way less then before, half melted along the borders of the bowl. Shinyo takes a spoonful from a part that's still solid enough. Looks at the food on the spoon for a long instant before eating it.

As soon as he does, Shinyo's sure that this is what paradise is made of. 

~~~

They ended up eating three bowls of ice cream between the two of them. Mostly Shinyo, though. Todoroki muttered some excuse about it being 'too sweet' or something. Well, his loss. 

(Shinyo tries to forget the way Todoroki looked at him while he was eating, the way he himself didn't try to stifle his own soft coos of happiness at eating something so good just because, for no other reason that he enjoys it. No survival, no need, no hunger, no nothing. Just bliss.)

They also fell asleep, somehow, during the night. Or the first hours or the morning, Shinyo's not sure. What he's sure of, is the fact that he can't stay there any longer. He already overdid his welcome, for sure, and he has no way to pay Todoroki back for what he's done to him. 

Still, Shinyo's no idiot. He knows he can't make it without food or water. He'll pay him back in the future, yes. So the hero spawn won't have anything to hold over his head. 

He wakes up when the first rays of a very, very weak sun break through the window, used to it by now by the rhythms he had to learn on the ship. It's still raining outside, even if less than the night prior. Shinyo gives himself five seconds to look at Todoroki.

He's still sleeping, expression relaxed for once, blue eyes hidden by his eyelids, red hair ruffled up by the pillow. He's on his back, slightly turned towards the place Shinyo was occupying. He looks peaceful.

Shinyo doesn't think about it. He can't allow himself to. He just takes the bags with their leftovers, fills one with his old change of clothes too, robs the kitchen of a few water bottles and goes to the front door. There's nobody else in the house, he doesn't hear any other heartbeat outside of Todoroki's and his own, so he takes his sweet time savoring the warmth of a house before stepping his bare feet on the wet concrete once again.

He opens the door, looks at the rain falling from the sky for a minute. It's just enough to be annoying, but still. He doesn't feel like bearing it. So he takes a jacket from the rack at the entrance. It's grey, some sort of weird bomber with dumb little details on the neck, and it's so damn big on him he can basically hide his wings and the bags of food, which is perfect. 

Shinyo stands at the entrance for a few seconds. He should go, close the door, avoid the warmth to dissipate and the cold to get in, but he can't bring himself to, not immediately. So he stands there, barefoot, toes curled to try and shield themselves from the cold, in his too big clothes that hang on him like they would on a scarecrow. 

He takes a deep breath. It puffs out in a white, little cloud before disappearing in thin air.

Shinyo takes a step forward. He closes the door behind himself. 

Then, he starts running.

~~~

He manages to reach the remains of some old, abandoned houses just in time for the storm to start raging again. 

Shinyo feels like a wet rat, but at least his food is okay, and he should have enough water to manage for a few days. 

He lights up a little fire to keep himself warm, laying down the jacket to try and get it dry before it starts to smell like mold and cross his legs. He's tempted to change back into his old clothes to not ruin these nicer ones, but he wants to enjoy the feeling of the fabric on his body for a little more before going back to the rags that he's allowed to keep on the Fu Yang. Shit, he has to find a way to hide these new clothes, when he goes back.

Shinyo's stomach rumbles, and yes, it's been enough time since he left Todoroki's house. Six hours or so. He can allow himself a few bites. Takes the plastic bag of food he knows contains some dumplings and fights against the knot in which the handles are tied for an infuriating fifteen seconds before he manages to untie it. 

And then, he stops. 

Staring at him there is an envelope. It's damp with the by now dried up condense of the food, but it's clearly not something that should be in a regular take out order. Even he knows that.

He picks it up, careful, and analyzes it. It's perfectly white, with nothing written on the outside, but there's surely something, inside.

That 'something' turns out to be ten thousand yen, in small notes, and a little card with a few kanji on it. It's a little difficult for Shinyo to read it, maybe because of the tears in his eyes too, not only his illiteracy, but he manages.

< For your wings. And for ice cream, too    - Enji >

A thunder, somewhere far away.

(The sky is still weeping for what their lives could have been.)