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Birdperson lands in front of the Smith house, having seen the beacon calling him. Just like the last time he was called here, there's cars scattered down the street and the tell-tale pounding of music coming from the house signifying a party.
Birdperson enters, finding the place not quite as packed as last time and mostly full of human teens. He heaves a sigh of relief, hoping that this means Rick isn’t going as destructively all out as last time.
Rick is in front of him in a second, loudly exclaiming, "Pers!" And throwing his arms open for a hug that Birdperson has no intention of completing. Rick seems to get that right away and corrects himself, holding his fist out for a bump instead, which Birdperson is willing to give.
"You know, Rick, I did not give you the beacon with the idea that you would use it to call me for parties. It is meant for emergencies." Birdperson admonishes.
Rick rolls his eyes, giving Birdperson an annoyed glare. "Well I wouldn't have to resort to the beacon if you would just answer your phone."
"You know I stopped taking your calls because you wouldn't stop drunk dialing me every night asking to, and I quote, 'eat that cloaca like groceries'."
"That was two decades ago, Pers!" Rick says, his voice raised with aggravation. His cheeks have the lightest of pink tinging them as he feels embarrassed by his old desperate words. "I don't- I'm not even interested in you anymore, suuRRPP- so you don't have to worry about that shit."
Birdperson's brow rises the slightest hint in intrigue. Sure, it's been years, so it makes sense that Rick would fall out of his infatuation. At least, it would if this were anybody else. In all the years Birdperson has known Rick, he's come to learn that the stubborn old fool never really falls out of love.
Not unless he's found somebody new to obsess over.
"So, Rick, when do you plan on introducing me to your new romantic partner?” Birdperson asks, interested in seeing Rick’s new flame. Rick always seems to end up in relationships with the most interesting beings. Birdperson has noted that Rick doesn’t seem to have a particular ‘type’, but all of the beings Rick chooses do tend to have one thing in common.
They think the world of Rick.
Unfortunately, just like Birdperson himself, almost all of them come to find out that Rick is so much more than they can handle. That he’s not as cool and aloof as he pretends. That behind that adventurous, devil-may-care attitude is an insecure, depressed, needy mess of a man.
And just like Birdperson, they all eventually push Rick away when he starts asking for too much.
Birdperson has no doubt this will be another fling that will end too soon and have Rick leaving sobbing, miserable voicemails on his phone, begging for a date or even a one night stand.
Begging for anything to make Rick feel wanted.
But until then, Rick will be on top of the world. Though, he certainly doesn’t look it. Rick is fidgeting with the red solo cup in his hand, hunching up his shoulders and staring at the ground rather than Birdperson. For a brief moment, Birdperson thinks he may have assumed incorrectly, but then Rick’s voice cuts in, almost too low to be heard over the music. “Pers, you- you don’t want to meet him. It’ll just m-make you think less of me…”
Birdperson tilts his head, confused. Rick has never been shy about a lover before. From masses of limbs with only baseline sentience to genocidal aliens that liked Rick too much to kill him, Rick always clung to his lovers with pride, shoving them in the faces of everyone around him.
Particularly Birdperson’s face. He always assumed Rick did this as a way to make him jealous, but it never worked. Birdperson would always tell Rick he was happy for him, and got to watch the spark in his eyes fade.
“B-b-besides, you’ve uh, you’ve already met the guy.” Rick continues, his mouth running to fill the silence, a nervous habit. “You just don’t knERRRP- know he’s my partner yet. Nobody knows. It’s a uh, it’s an… Awkward situation.”
“Rick, if it’s so awkward you don’t want anybody to know, why are you with him?”
“Well, because, you know…” Rick’s cheeks get redder as he mumbles, “I- I love him…”
Birdperson’s eye widen just a fraction of an inch. Rick isn’t very loose with the ‘L’ word. It’s also particularly fast. Rick clings quickly, sure, but he’s terrible with verbal displays of affection. “Well, now I am very interested in meeting him. Please, Rick.” Birdperson places one clawed hand on Rick’s shoulder. “I thought you trusted me.”
The cup in Rick’s hand crumbles in his grip, spilling liquid on Rick's hand. Rick curses under his breath, still refusing to look at Birdperson. He sighs loudly. “Alright, Pers, but- but don’t make a scene, okay? I know how you are.” Rick pulls his shoulder out of Birdperson’s hold, turning and heading further into the house. “A judgmental dick…” He mutters.
Birdperson can tell Rick is highly agitated, his shoulders high up around his ears as he stalks through the house. He’s clearly uncomfortable with showing Birdperson his new partner, but that only concerns Birdperson more. He is Rick’s friend, after all. It’s part of his job to make sure Rick’s partners aren’t going to destroy Rick’s life.
They end up in the kitchen, and Rick walks up to Morty, placing his hand on the boy’s shoulder. Morty turns away from the mess he was cleaning up and his scowl melts into a fond smile at the sight of Rick. “Oh, Rick, h-h-hey!” His eyes then find Birdperson and he waves shyly in his direction. “Oh! You- you got Birdperson to show up. That’s pretty cool. Hi, Birdperson.”
“Hello, Morty.” Birdperson greets. He’s not too familiar with the boy. They’ve only met twice before. Once at the previous party, and again when those giant heads threatened to destroy Earth. What he does know about Morty is that he is Rick’s sidekick and grandson. Likely Rick wants Morty to keep an eye on the party while he shows Birdperson his new partner.
Why else would Rick lead him to Morty?
Rick coughs awkwardly into his fist, his cheeks once again gaining a light redness. He looks between Morty and Birdperson repeatedly, almost as if trying to silently communicate something between the three of them. Whatever he wants to say, it’s definitely not something he wants to say out loud .
But Morty and Birdperson are both completely clueless on what that could be. Eventually Morty turns back to Rick. “Um, Rick? C-can I go back to cleaning now? You know how mad mom and dad are gonna be if this place is dirty when they come back.”
Rick sighs loudly, burying his face in his hands. He takes three deep breaths and then brings his head up to look Birdperson dead in the eye. “Pers. Th-this- I mean, Morty is- is…” He goes silent for a moment, his head whipping around until he catches sight of a bottle of vodka on the counter. He grabs it and chugs a good third of it. When he slams it back down he looks at his feet and announces, “Morty is muuRRRRP- my new partner.”
Morty’s face colors as he looks around the room, concerned somebody could overhear them. “Rick! We- we agreed-”
“I thought he was your sidekick.” Birdperson interrupts. “But perhaps it would be better if you two were to have a more equal partnership. You could use somebody to veto your bad decisions, Rick.”
“No, Pers!” Rick hisses through his teeth. His volume has lowered, also worried about being overheard. He leans closer to whisper into Birdperson’s ear. “I mean he’s my- my… You know. ‘Romantic partner’.”
Rick leans back and Birdperson stares blankly at him for a few moments, trying to gauge if this is some weird prank Rick is playing. When he glances at Morty though, he can see the way Morty’s face is red as he scuffs his dirty shoes together on the tile floor. “I thought you told me that he is your grandson. And a child.”
Rick rubs at his arm, feeling guilty all over again. “I- I know, but… But it just… It just happened, okay? And- and we’re both happier like this! Morty is-” Rick looks down at the blushing boy and his expression softens, adoration in his eyes. “He’s perfect for me.”
Morty blushes harder, his shoulders lifting to be around his ears. “Aw geez, Rick…”
Birdperson stares at the two of them, his face blank. After a silent pause long enough to be considered ‘awkward’, Birdperson turns to Morty. “Morty, may I speak to you? Privately?”
Rick’s face falls as he curls in on himself. He knew it was stupid to tell anybody, even his closest friend Birdperson. Now Birdperson is gonna take Morty away to relentlessly question him to make sure Rick isn’t abusing him. It’s going to be so awkward for Morty, and no matter how much Morty tries to reassure him, he’s going to think of Rick as an abuser.
Birdperson is gonna hate him so much now. So much for ‘best friends’.
Rick should’ve known better than to think anybody would ever understand, even Birdperson. And it’s not like he can even blame the guy, Rick would be disgusted hearing about a creepy old man fucking his own grandson. It just sounds bad no matter what.
Probably because it is bad. Rick never should’ve gotten with Morty, there was no chance for it to be healthy.
Rick sags against the counter as every insecurity he had about his relationship with Morty floats to the front of his mind. He doesn’t even notice that Morty and Birdperson have left him behind.
The second the garage door closes, Morty has his hands up, already ready to placate Birdperson’s fears. “N-now Birdperson, I- I know it… It sounds bad, but-”
“It does much more than ‘sound bad’, Morty.” Birdperson says, making direct eye contact that Morty is desperately avoiding. “It is bad.”
“Look, I know it’s breaking a lot of taboos b-but who cares about all that? That’s Earth taboos. We- we don’t need to be held back by that!” Morty argues. It’s the same argument he’d give himself in the mirror when their relationship was fresh and he was doubting it.
“This relationship is wrong for far more reasons than just ‘Earth taboos’, Morty.” Birdperson states. “Not that you should discount those either, considering you live on Earth. What would you do if news of your relationship spread? Leave your planet and family behind?”
Morty bites his lip. He’d never thought of what he’d have to do if people found out. He always assumed he and Rick would be able to hide it. But Birdperson is right, if word got out… They’d have no choice but to leave. “I… I guess…”
“It seems like running away is the way you solve a lot of problems, Morty.” Birdperson says, the hint of judgment in his tone not being missed by Morty.
“Hey!” Morty exclaims, “I- I don’t-” But he does. He knows he does. He’s been trying to get better at facing his issues, but he has to admit it to himself. His fight-or-flight reflex usually pushes him towards flight. Morty swallows the lump building in his throat. “... Maybe it is…”
“As I recall, the last time we met, you were even thinking of running away from Rick.”
Morty tenses up. Shame and guilt flood him at the memory. He can’t believe he almost left Rick to die, that he put so little faith in Rick to fix the situation. It’s almost funny how willing Morty was to leave Earth to be destroyed and how much Rick wanted to save it, usually the roles are reversed. Though Morty thinks Rick was more obsessed with trying to win the music contest than actually saving Earth.
Birdperson continues on, his eyes narrowed. “It makes me wonder, would you still run from him now?”
“No!” Morty shouts. If he’s certain of one thing, it’s that he wants to stay by Rick’s side now, through thick and thin. “Not anymore.”
“Even if you no longer wanted to be romantically involved with him?”
Morty’s mouth gapes at the question. “Wh-what?”
“If you wanted to break up with him, would you ghost him?”
“No! I- I don’t want to break up with him! I…” Morty’s cheeks flush as he whispers, “I love Rick…”
“Then you must know very little about him.”
Morty glares at Birdperson. “W-what’s that supposed to mean?!”
“It means that anybody who learns Rick well enough will eventually learn they don’t love him. Not the real him, at least.”
Morty seems taken aback by that. “What? Birdperson? Are- are you saying I’ll fall out of love with Rick if I get to know him better?”
“I’m saying you aren’t really in love with him at all. You are infatuated with the idea of him.”
“What do you know?!” Morty shouts.
“I know what Rick is really like.” Birdperson says, calm in the face of Morty’s anger. “Needy, dependant, insecure, jealous. I know he has abandonment issues and needs constant validation, try as he might to deny that and cover it up with an over-the-top God complex. I know he ‘falls for’ any being who shows him genuine kindness.” Birdperson has gotten closer to Morty, and now looms over him. “It really is no shock that he ‘fell for’ you, Morty. The shock is that you would take advantage of his dependent nature.”
Morty’s brow scrunches in confusion as he makes a choked gasping noise. He almost thinks Birdperson must be joking, but the stern look in the man’s eyes tell of his sincerity. “You- you think I’m taking advantage of Rick ?”
“He is a pathetic, hopeless romantic. He will pursue his lovers regardless of the danger to himself. He never knows when to quit, when enough is enough. He is… Irrational, in the matters of the heart.” Birdperson crosses his arms, glaring down at Morty. “You should’ve been the responsible one and stopped this before it started.”
Morty is stunned into speechlessness. His mouth moves uselessly, opening up and closing, as words attempt to leave him. There is a part of him that is glad that Birdperson didn’t accuse Rick of being an abuser and lecture Morty about grooming.
But that part of him is overshadowed by the part of him that’s just straight up mystified by this interaction.
“You-” Morty says, when he finally gets his vocal chords back in working order, “You were the one who told me to be there for him.”
“I told you to stay by his side, not get under him.”
Morty blushes, feeling like Birdperson may as well have called him a whore. “Well maybe y-you should’ve been a little clearer! Not that it would’ve stopped us anyways, we- we both really want this, Birdperson. Why can’t you just be happy Rick is happy?”
“Because I know that it will not last, and when this eventually crashes and burns, you will break his heart to save yourself.”
“Why do you say that like- like you know it so certainly?!”
“Because that is how every relationship of Rick's ends.” Birdperson shakes his head slowly, disapprovingly. “And every time he falls apart. There were many times I had to pick up the pieces. I’m afraid with you, though, he will break too much to ever put back together.”
“Like… He would never love again?”
“Yes, because he would kill himself.”
Morty tenses up, paling at the thought. It feels sick and heavy in his chest, the idea of Rick ending his own life. The painful feeling is compounded a hundred fold by the thought that it would be his fault for backing out of their relationship. Morty feels his hands shaking as he clenches them into fists, looking up into Birdperson’s eyes defiantly. “It’ll never happen. I’m not going to- to leave Rick. Ever.”
Birdperson doesn’t look convinced. “A child’s conviction is a very weak thing, Morty. You will realize you’re in too deep soon enough, and you will crumble under the weight of Rick’s overreliance.”
“Says you! You- you think you know everything, huh? W-well, you may know Rick, but you don’t know me!” Morty yells.
“I know enough-”
“No you don’t!” Morty’s breathing is getting heavier the more riled up he gets, and sweat is starting to drip down his forehead. All the negative feelings are swirling in his gut and he’s very tempted to punch Birdperson’s lights out. He’s only holding back for Rick’s sake. Rick would be pretty upset to learn his grandson and best friend had a fist fight in the garage. “Y-y-you don’t know anything about me! And I- I don’t appreciate your lack of faith! I may be young and bad at thinking through my decisions, but… But there’s never been anything I was more sure of than how much I love Rick.”
Morty can feel the anger draining just thinking about Rick. About the little smiles he only gives Morty in the privacy of the garage, how his large hands feel holding Morty’s much smaller hands, the twinkle in his eye when he and Morty get up to some mischief in space.
Morty has only caught glimpses of the weak, vulnerable man Birdperson described, but he’s not scared. A little anxious, sure, but not scared. Mostly he’s just hopeful. Hopeful that Rick will trust him enough to show his vulnerabilities, to open up to and rely on Morty.
No matter what Birdperson says, Morty knows he’s ready for it.
Morty promised Rick he would be there for him, no matter what, and he meant it.
Birdperson walks past Morty, heading towards the door that leads into the kitchen. “You’re going to regret this, and you’re going to hurt him.” Birdperson says, sounding final as he puts his clawed hand on the knob.
“Fuck you.” Morty spits back, just before the door opens and the loud noise of the party infiltrates the garage.
Birdperson closes the door after himself and Morty stands alone in the garage. He breathes in and out slowly, trying to get all his rampant emotions under control. He doesn’t hear the garage door open again and startles when a large, warm hand lands on his shoulder.
“Uh, hey there, kiddo.” Rick greets, sounding stressed and awkward. “How did it uh, how did it go?”
Morty shrugs. “It went.”
“Pers gave me a hug and bailed. So I thouRRRRgGH- thought it must’ve went well, b-but you’re crying…” Rick notes, as his thumb brushes away a tear Morty hadn’t known he shed. “What’s up?”
Morty bites his lip, thinking over if he even wants to tell Rick what the conversation was like. Either Rick will find it so ridiculous he’ll laugh at the concept, and Morty doesn’t feel up for laughing about it yet, or Rick will get upset and it might hurt his friendship with Birdperson.
And Birdperson, as presumptuous and jerkish as he was, was only trying to look out for Rick. Morty can’t fault him for that.
Instead Morty decides to ask about something that Birdperson put into his mind. “Rick, what would you d-d-do if I broke up with you?”
Rick flinches back, not having expected such a question. Panic flashes across his face as he nervously studies Morty. “Wh-what? Why? Are you planning on dumping me? Fuck, what did Pers tell you?”
“I’m- I’m not planning on dumping you, Rick. I just… I wanna know, Rick.”
“No you don’t.” Rick quickly answers.
“You realize you’re kinda telling me the answer by refusing, right?”
Rick sighs heavily, pinching the bridge of his nose. “Look, Morty, I- I don’t want you to feel forced to keep up this relationship. If I give you an honest answer, you’re gonna feel trapped, and- and I duRRRp- don’t want that for you. Look, we both know I take rejection… Poorly. Can’t we just drop this conversation?”
Morty shakes his head and then looks up into Rick’s eyes. “No.”
Rick sighs again, scowl forming as he crosses his arms and fidgets. “Fine, do you want the needy, codependent answer or a comforting lie?”
“I want the truth.”
“I’d kill myself.” Rick states. His gaze goes from Morty to his own feet as he clenches his fists. “There. Happy now?”
Morty feels his heart pounding at just the thought, his throat tight with the threat of vomiting. “No.” He answers, but there’s a sick part of him that lives deep in the back of his consciousness that absorbs that information like sugar rather than cyanide. It tells him that if Rick would kill himself if he weren’t with Morty anymore, then Morty must be his reason for living. The most powerful man in existence, who’s typically aloof and slow to admit his feelings, pretty much confessing his life is all for Morty.
“I might… Fail. In my attempt.” Rick continues on. “I mean, I’ve failed every time I’ve tried before, so…” Rick shrugs. “You know, it’s- it’s not a certainty. And if it did fail I’d probably go live in solitude and spend each day so high and drunk I can’t even remember why I’m alone.”
A sick curiosity forces Morty to ask, “How many times have you tried before?”
Rick shrugs and pulls out his flask, trying to think of a number as he drinks. “DorrRRGh- don’t know. I’ve forgotten most of them. I’m usually really drunk.”
They both go silent for a minute after that, as Morty tries to push down the painful feelings and Rick studies his flask, bracing himself for more awkward questions. When they don’t come he looks at Morty from out of the corner of his eye. “You- you got any more tough questions, kiddo?” Rick asks. “You’ve caught me in a rare moment of honest emotional vulnerability, I wouldn’t waste it.”
“What if they find out?” Morty asks.
“Define ‘they’ and what they’re finding out, Morty. I- I’m not a mind reader.”
“Everyone! What if everyone finds out about our- our relationship, Rick?!” Morty asks, suddenly fearing the possibility.
“Shit, everyone?” Rick scratches the back of his neck and looks away. “I guess we’d have to pack up. Again. M-maybe we could get lucky and jump to another universe again, or maybe we’d just have to live life out in space. I’d have to check for universes down a Rick and Morty.”
Morty lets out a sigh that sounds just a little too much like a sob. “You don’t think… Maybe… They- they might be okay with…?”
“No.” Rick states. He gets on one knee to bring himself to Morty’s level, putting one hand on the boy’s shoulder. “Morty, there’s nothing acceptable about our relationship. Hell, even I think I’m a scumbag forRRRGH getting with you.”
“But I don’t wanna leave again…”
“And we won’t have to, Morty.” Rick says, trying to put on a comforting smile. “As- as long as we keep it under wraps. And hey, if only one or two people find out? I can just use the ol’ memory gun to wipe that revelation away.”
“Memory gun?”
“It uh, it wipes memories. Self-explanatory.” Rick coughs awkwardly into his fist. Of course Morty wouldn’t know what it is, considering he only sees it when he’s on the receiving end of it. “And if it’ll make you feel better, I can try to make a large scale one. Just in case everyone does find out somehow, I- I can get the whole world in one go. We’ll just have to be off world or we’ll forget too.” The schematics are already building in Rick’s mind. His fingers itch to draw blueprints. He mutters out the next thought, “And I gotta be careful with the power, or else everyone might forget us entirely .”
Morty cringes at the idea of coming back to Earth with his family not recognizing him. He might be able to convince him he’s their son considering there’s pictures of him in the house, but Rick might be a harder sell. “We should take more family pictures…” Morty mumbles, more of trying to make himself remember that for later rather than tell Rick.
They both go silent and slowly Rick pulls Morty closer to him, until eventually he’s holding the boy to his chest. Holding his young partner makes his frayed nerves feel better, and Morty must feel the same because he snuggles into Rick’s chest like a cat marking its owner. Morty lets out a heavy sigh, trying to push all the stress of the night and talking to Birdperson out of his mind.
“Hey, Rick?” Morty questions.
“Hm?” Rick hums in acknowledgement.
“W-why did you tell Birdperson? I thought we were trying to keep this a secret from everyone.”
Rick sighs. “I just… I needed to tell someone, and Pers is my best friend. Plus, he kinda doesn’t totally get human customs, so I thought he’d be less freaked out about it.” Rick pulls back to look Morty in the face. “It’s… Hard. Keeping our relationship a secret. I- I wanna shove you in everyone’s face, laugh at them that they don’t have you, I do. Let everyone know that I’m doing great cause I got a- a cute little boyfr- a cute little partner by my side. I like to show off what I’m proud of, you know that.”
Morty blushes, hearts in his eyes. “And you’re proud of me?”
“Sure am, little buddy.” Rick gives him a loving smile and Morty presses forward to crash their lips together. Their teeth clack against each other and Rick laughs into Morty’s mouth, pleased by his enthusiasm.
Once they break apart they head back out into the party, and Rick is kind enough to help Morty keep things somewhat clean so they don’t get in trouble later.