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Namjoon is oblivious to the blatant stares he gets from Seokjin, but Hoseok certainly isn't.
Seokjin, Namjoon's crush of three years. Seokjin, the object if Hoseok's jealousy for the past three years.
Of course Namjoon had come to him first with the discovery of his crush. Who else would he have gone to first aside from his very best friend?
Hoseok remembers the day Namjoon entered his room with that tentative but happy and lovestruck expression on his face. He remembers it clearer than anything in his life, clearer than the sound of his own mother's voice. Because that expression had been stuck in Hoseok's mind for the past three years, popping up again and again almost every time he saw Namjoon, reminding Hoseok of how Namjoon was in love with Seokjin and not him. How he would never look at Hoseok that way.
When Namjoon had first told him, Hoseok remembers the way his heart shattered and fell to the floor, bleeding all over the carpet. How he'd covered up the agony he felt inside with a fake smile, a "Good for you, Namjoon." Namjoon, the usually smart, perceptive Namjoon hadn't seen through his fake attempts and he'd been glad, but every day since that incident Hoseok has wished, wished so hard, that Namjoon had seen through him that day.
Hoseok has been the one Namjoon comes to with his troubles over Seokjin ever since. He would pine over Seokjin in Hoseok's bedroom, not knowing how much his presence on Hoseok's bed affected the other. He would sight, smile, laugh and cry with Hoseok over Seokjin, lying with his head on Hoseok's shoulder as Hoseok prayed Namjoon couldn't hear the deafening drumbeat of his heart.
Hoseok bore it all, patiently waiting for the day Namjoon realized that Seokjin was never meant to be, only a secret to be shared in hushed whispers on dark nights. The day that Namjoon realized that while Seokjin had caused him so much pain, the one that had been with him the whole time, the one who had eased the hurt had been Hoseok.
But that day was never to come.
Now that Seokjin returns the tentative glances Namjoon throws his way, smiles all sappy in his direction when he's not looking, Hoseok knows that one day the last bit of hope he carried in his heart foolishly would be shattered, and he would never be able to pick himself up completely after the train wreck that was falling in love with Namjoon.
Hoseok knows that Namjoon is bound to find out about Seokjin, but he can't bring himself to tell him just yet. Of course, he'll congratulate Namjoon when he does find out and hide his heart away as skillfully as he's been doing the past five years, but he just can't handle being the one to tell Namjoon about Seokjin. Being the one to rip his own heart to shreds, to throw the last bit of hope he clings onto so desperately out the window and leave his body empty. He can't.
He wants to hold on just a little while longer.