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Summary
Sherlock will occasionally have this thing happen, where someone will ask him what he sees in them. He will object, they will insist, he will acquiesce, they will get insulted. He doesn’t understand why they ask. He warns them that all of their secrets he knows, that they will not like what they hear back, but they insist. He never really understood it. Why do you want to ask a question when you know you won’t like the answer.
And yet.
And yet, he is sure that if he asked Vogel “Am I a happy person,” Vogel would answer him. And the answer would cut him to pieces. But he still doesn’t know the answer. It could be no, because of him mom. Or no, because of Jon. His brother, the case, or maybe something else. Something he can’t see but Vogel can. Or maybe it’s a yes. Maybe he is happy, but he’s just acting like he isn’t for some reason. He thinks that, maybe, if he just asked Vogel, he would know and therefore know what he needs to be happy.
He’s still afraid of what he would hear.