Chapter Text
“Uhhhh… UUUUUHHH…”
“What-? What! You’ve been looking over there and trembling for the past five minutes!”
“You don’t see it?!”
“Uh, no?”
“LOOK! Look! It just scurried under the bed!”
They walked over from their spot by the couch, but didn’t see anything of note under the bed. “...No? Is everything alright?”
“NO! Everything is NOT alright! It’s one of- of- ‘them’!”
“...Pardon?”
“Those pests everyone’s been talkin’ about! The ones that keep stealing food and weird stuff!”
“Oh- for the love of- Thistle! Those things aren’t real! They’re myths made up by Mosshares to spook their Mosslings into behaving!”
“They’re not! Ted’s seen one!”
“And Ted also saw one of ‘them’ steal Polka’s favorite hat! And who really had her hat?”
“I- Ted being a chronic liar has nothing to do with what is genuinely under the BED!”
“FINE. Fine. If I go under the bed, and check it for you, will you stop?”
“Yes!”
“And if I find nothing there… YOU are the one scavenging later today!”
“Deal! But you’re doing it if there’s something there!”
“Only if it's the ‘pest’ everyone keeps fearmongering about.”
“Jeez, fine!”
“The things I do for you…” They mumbled, trudging over to the bed. They dropped down on all fours, sticking a spindly, thorny limb underneath. A few cursory pats, followed by a more thorough rubbing against the floor, revealed nothing. Just as they suspected.
“Well…?”
“Nothing, Thistle! I told you, those things are- AAAGGHH-” A pressurized liquid burst across the thin limb, promptly followed by a burning sensation that rapidly dug through their exoskeleton. It felt like it was trying to burrow into their sensitive and fragile insides.
“EEP- Thorne-?”
“FUCK-”
Thistle watched in thinly veiled horror as Thorne pulled their limb from underneath the bed, and a little yellow glowing thing rushed out, scampering across the floors and making a break for the bathroom.
Whatever it sprayed onto Thorne was sizzling against their outer layer.
“Holy shit! That-”
“THEY’RE REAL! They’re real and they- they spit acid?! ARE YOU DYING?!”
“No-! No, I’m not! Look, we need to corner it, and then squish it! Or put a claw through it. Preferably the latter. Little bastard got me good…”
“...Maybe we should ask someone for help? You look like you need to get that checked out, hun.”
“I- okay, yeah… it… hurts. A lot.”
Thistle’s spines rattled, but they quickly calmed themselves down. “Okay, okay. You stay here and make sure it stays in the bathroom. I’m going to go get Wisdom, and he’s going to help me patch you up. Then, I’m going to get Juniper, and she’s going to help us with that.”
“Alright- wait, why Juniper?”
“She’s great with animals!”
“...So we aren’t going to kill the little shithead that spat acid at me?”
“Okay. We kill it. Tear it to pieces, squish it, whatever. Where would the acid go?”
“...Oh.”
“Yeah. I’m getting Juniper.”
“...I’ll go guard the door.”
+++
When Thistle left, Thorne went to the bathroom and found the door ajar. One of them must’ve left the door open. Weird. They closed it rather quickly. No more of… whatever that was. It wasn’t really acid, was it? Sure, it hurt… but it didn’t leave any marks on them. Some sort of concentrated irritant?
They tapped their foot impatiently. God, they hoped Thistle came back soon. This situation was really concerning- although it wouldn’t top Chirp infesting the whole block with mites. Stupid Masked Screechers and their one hundred and one parasites. Sometimes they still felt the mites crawling… burrowing…
Eeugh.
+++
“Hun, I’m back! I uhm… brought June and Wis! You okay…?”
“Oh- yeah, yeah. It hasn’t scampered out of the bathroom.”
“That’s good! Uh- okay, come on in you two!”
A Watcher floated through, followed by a Mosshare. Unfortunately, the Mosshare had a little trouble fitting through the doorframe.
“Oh dear… these doors are always too small for me! I swear, I’ll give whoever built them a real talking too! Goodness, Thistle told me about everything, are you alright? I’ve heard all sorts of nasty things about these pests. Did you know that allegedly, one of them attacked poor Fern’s kids?”
“What- that’s awful! Are they okay?” Thorne couldn’t believe it. This was sounding less like a ‘pest’ and more like a wild animal.
“Thankfully, yes. Fern gave it a good scare, that she did! But her moss is falling out from all the stress! She’s a new mom, and those three kiddos are all she’s got… one of ‘em got hurt pretty bad, but they’ll make it.”
“Truly, truly awful. I cannot fathom why everyone seems to call them pests. These things are clearly dangerous and wild animals.” Wisdom sighed, his upper lid lowering in sympathy.
“Exactly! And that’s why we should put them down!”
“On the contrary, Thorne, I believe that is why we shouldn’t.”
“WHAT?!”
“...Wisdom, Fern is in real mental duress! We can’t just leave something like this around to attack more Mosslings! I’m all for protecting nature, but there have just been more and more sightings of them lately…”
“Which is precisely why I want to save this one. Think. Why would an animal move somewhere where it has never been seen before, and seem to attack indiscriminately?"
Thistle and Juniper appeared to think hard about the question.
Thorne didn’t. They just wanted the damned thing out of their house.
Juniper spoke up first. “...It was driven out of its natural environment, wasn’t it?” She asked softly. “They have nowhere else to go, so they’re terrified and aggressive. They just want to live.”
“Precisely. I cannot say what may have happened to their natural environment, but like any animal, I believe gentleness is the key. Teach them that we mean no harm, and they may come to us with that same gentleness.”
“That would also explain why they’re so elusive.” Thistle hummed, earning a nod from Thorne.
“So… how do we get it outside?”
“Fret not, my spiny friend. I have an idea.”
“Oh?”
“You’ll open the door, and crawl about to spook it out. Then, Thistle will use their speed to keep it in this room, whilst I and Juniper try to coax it outside. Then you simply come back out of the bathroom, shut the door, and let me take a gander at your wounds.”
“Sounds good!”
“Thorne, please be careful!”
They took Thistle's claws in theirs. “Don’t worry my dear tumbleweed, I’m tougher than I look.”
“Oh… my love…”
Juniper gave a good-natured giggle at the two, and Thorne coughed awkwardly in response. “I’ll uh, shoo it out.”
The trio waited with bated breath as Thorne creaked open the door and ventured inside. It was silent at first, before there was a quiet shuffling- followed by a heavy ‘THUD’ and a strange, unnatural screech.
The little creature popped out from the little space Thorne had left when cracking open the door, which was quickly shut the moment it had escaped. Thistle was hot on its heels afterwards, preventing it from skittering off to another room. Wisdom kept watch on it, helping direct Juniper and Thistle to cornering it towards the door. Occasionally, he’d give it a little bump to keep it on path.
“Now, NOW Juniper!”
The Mosshare wasted no time in using her body size to block the little creature against the door leading to the porch. The poor thing was clearly terrified, if the way its little tail trembled and those strange squeaks it made meant anything.
“Shhh, shh… it’s okay, it’s okay, we’re not gonna hurt you, little one.” Juniper cooed.
Unfortunately, not much could be done for an animal that thought it was going to be preyed upon. And a cornered animal was a dangerous one. Wisdom wasn’t going to let Juniper go home, having her kids wonder what hurt their mother.
He rushed to the door, using his tendrils to turn the knob- and then he tackled it to fling it open.
“Toss it outside, NOW! Before it can do anything dangerous!”
Juniper was quick to listen, shoving her hooves forward. It was easily knocked outside and on its back from the sheer force, (with Juniper wincing in guilt) scrambling to turn itself upright.
Wisdom shut the door, floating towards the window.
“Now, we wait for it to leave. Thistle, could you keep an eye on the window for me? I need to tend to Thorne.”
“Of course!”
They switched places, with Wisdom gazing at Thorne emerging from the bathroom. His stare was soon directed to a spot Thorne pointed at on their left arm. It appeared spotless, strangely enough.
“Odd… Thistle said, in their own words, ‘It got Thorne real good! You have to hurry and help!’ but you appear… just fine?”
“That’s what got me too! It’s weird… I don’t think it’s acid. Maybe just an irritant? It might’ve been stressed enough to give me a good dose of the stuff.”
“Perhaps? These creatures are too poorly documented to know for sure… I’d love to study them, but it’s too hard with sightings so far in-between.”
“And it glowed! It’s weird, but kinda pretty!”
“Oh yeah, that’s right! I kinda ignored that in favor of the whole ‘spraying me’ thing…”
“Oh? I cannot say I noticed, embarrassingly enough.”
“Yeah, it was a nice yellow!”
“How curious! What need would these creatures have for glowing?”
“Hmm… animals have all sorts of fancy ways of communicating, maybe this glow is one of them?”
“Interesting… if that is so, I wonder what those noises were for. A secondary communication method, or their primary? It is rather dark here, so it wouldn’t be odd to assume that they came from an even darker place nearby, and as such, evolved ways to communicate in that darkness. Oh, I cannot wait to observe more of them!”
“Oh dear, Wisdom, you’ll talk their spines off! But I’d personally love to hear your theories. I’ve always loved how beautiful and unique nature can become!”
“Oh, I would be honored to share some with you-! Ah, but it’s still outside, is it not?”
“...Yeah. I can still see it. It is leaving, but…”
“Ah…”
“It’s fine. If you and Juniper wanna talk about animal theories, you’re welcome to the living room for the night.”
“Wondrous! Ah, I can’t- oh dear, Juniper, your ch-”
“Ohohoho, don’t worry dear! I have Polka watching over them for the night. The kids love her!”
“I can see why! That colorful and shifting skin of hers is beautiful. She deserves to take pride in it.”
“And it's a hit with the kiddos!”
“Pfft, alright you chatterboxes, on to the living room. Thistle’s had plenty of excitement for one day, and I think they need some time to calm down.”
“...I’m gonna have a hard time sleeping.”
Thorne sighed. “...I know, love. Honestly… me too.”
Juniper gave Thorne a reassuring nuzzle, before heading towards the living room with Wisdom. He also offered a glance of affirmation to them.
“God… at least we won’t have to see it again, right hun?”
“Yeah. They probably won’t stick around for long. Animals tend to go on the move, and they’ll learn soon enough that this place isn’t safe for them.”
“I sure hope so, it was kind of cute. Aside from the whole attacking you thing.”
“...I guess?”
“Pfft-!”
“What-?”
“You should’ve seen how your spines went up when it scampered out!”
“R- really? My spines?!”
“Yeah!”
“Why I oughta-!”
+++
Juniper raised an ear to the playful banter from the next room over, smiling. “I think they’ll be just fine after tonight.”
“Indeed.”