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“Shinya, don’t leave me.”
“I wouldn’t dream of it, Guren. I would never leave you, not now not even in a thousand years.”
“Liar, a thousand years is a long time.”
“I would never lie to you.” Shinya smiles that one smile he has that dances on his lips and softens his face, his crystal blue eyes illuminated with something- no not something- with love. Guren has seen this smile only once before, but seeing it now opens his vision to something he’s never seen before. A vision of grace and comfort, beauty and stability, a sight that forcefully wrenches his heart open and floods him with feelings and memories of days not so long ago. Those feelings continue to linger even after Shinya closes his eyes, breathing slowing ever so slightly.
Shinya’s breathing continues to slow, practically coming to a stop. The crimson flowing from him begins to dye everything an eerie shade of red and Guren feels helpless, unable to stop his best friend and lover from dying.
Guren can feel his emotions swirling again. He is fighting back tears. The rage and hurt are crushing his heart and forcing every last bit of breath out of his lungs. He doesn’t know what to say, what to do. He’s already tried begging whatever gods out there to help Shinya, help them get out of this situation but it didn’t work.
“Guren, you know you aren’t being a very good lieutenant colonel right now.” Shinya opens his eyes and chuckles but it’s strained and he gasps for air at the end of it.
“…and why do you say that?” Guren forces his voice out. “Is it because I let this happen to you?”
Shinya laughs.
Oh, how Guren wishes that he could laugh alongside him and tell him all the times that he thought Shinya sounded like bells.
“Guren, I let this happen to me. This has nothing to do with you.” Shinya lifts his hand to cup Guren’s face. “What I am asking about is why you are here with me when our squad is still out there fighting.”
That stung. A lot. Guren knows that his team was probably struggling, that they need him. He doesn’t want to let go of Shinya though. Shinya, the light that relit his life after Mahiru left him.
Guren feels like he is being torn apart from the inside. His desire to go and help his team, but his need to stay with Shinya.
“Geez, don’t make this harder than it needs to be.” Shinya whines and moves his hand to Guren’s chest, “Go. I’ll be right here waiting for you, ok?” Shinya pushes Guren away.
Shinya can see tears run down Guren’s face as he gets up.
“I’ll be right back. Wait for me.” Guren walks away and leaves Shinya.
Shinya’s vision is blurry. He knows he won’t make it, but he promised Guren that he would wait here. Each second feels like an hour. How long has he been laying here? He hasn’t been able to feel his feet for a while. Shinya moves his hand in front of his face and sees nothing but crimson. He also sees it drip, but doesn’t feel it land on his face.
Shinya so desperately wants to close his eyes and just end it. He is tired, but he made a promise. Guren would be so mad if I broke this one, Shinya laughs a bit to himself.
It’s hard, he can’t feel anything anymore. Shinya is sure that he is crying now. Not because he is dying, but because he is leaving Guren by himself again. Shinya wants to wail, but the pain and lack of oxygen to his lungs stop him.
Shinya can hear footsteps approaching him. It must be Guren, Shinya smiles.
Shinya can’t make out much, but he instantly recognizes the person that Goshi lays beside him.
“He said you were waiting for him,” Goshi’s voice cracks.
Shinya moves his hand around until he laces his fingers with the person next to him.
“Yeah, I was.” Shinya is crying again, “what an idiot. He went off and left me behind.”
“Sorry,” Shinya can hear that Goshi is crying, that they all are.
“It’s fine.” Shinya uses his last bit of strength to force out that lighthearted laugh of his. “If anything, I should apologize. We’ll be going first, alright?”
“Of course, have a safe trip.”
Shinya gives up on replying and closes his eyes. He knows he shouldn’t be able to feel anything, but his hand feels very warm.