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Yuri opened his eyes slowly. Sunlight poured in from the outside through the blinds of the windows on the left wall. He reached up and rubbed his hand across his face, only to quickly put it back under the covers. The room was freezing. He turned, ready to greedily take in the body heat from Viktor, but to his dismay, the spot next to him was empty. He touched the spot where Viktor usually slept and found it cold. He must have been up for a while then, and let Yuri sleep in. Yuri sighed. Another difference in character for them. Viktor was a champion morning person, waking up at five in the morning to go for a run whereas Yuri would rather take a night run and stay up until two, three in the morning sometimes. Yuri laughed at the memory of a clingy Viktor whining for him to come to bed one night, but Yuri refusing, politely of course, because he wasn’t tired yet.
Yuri sat up then, wrapping the blankets tightly around his body. He scanned the floor for a pair of shoes, after finding some, he slipped them on and padded through the house looking for his fiance.
Fiance. Viktor Nikiforov was Yuri Katsuki’s fiance. Yuri’s eyes sparkled with happiness. He would have never imagined interacting, let alone being engaged, to his life-long idol. He still couldn’t believe it. Some days, like these, where he would wake up in an empty bed, Yuri believed all the time spent with Viktor was a dream, and when he woke up Viktor would be gone. But that hasn’t happened yet, and Yuri hopes it never does. Yuri reached the kitchen of his family’s building. Everyone was already up, scrambling about preparing breakfast and the workload for the day. Yuri watched silently as his mother happily flipped some eggs in a pan and his father cheerfully washed the dishes. Mari was taking the trash out and Makkachin was ready to clean up and pieces of food that might fall to the floor.
But Viktor was nowhere in sight.
“Mari-neechan, have you seen Viktor?” He asked his sister before she headed outside.
“Heh?” She responded then looked her younger brother over. Yuri blushed, realizing he was still in pajamas and had a blanket hugging his entire frame. She laughed and then responded, “I think he went out to the beach. He left Makkachin here so that you two could meet up with him once you woke up.”
“Oh,” Yuri said, “How long has he been gone?”
“Not too long,” Mari said, throwing the bag of trash over her shoulder, “If you leave soon, he should still be there.”
Yuri nodded and turned, but his mother stopped him. “Yuri! I prepared breakfast for you two,” she said shyly, still getting used to her son being here. She held up a basket to him, and Yuri smiled down at his mother.
“Thank you, tousann .” He gently took the basket from her and then turned to Makkachin. “Be ready to leave in five minutes!” The dog wagged his tail and barked in response. His family laughed, and Yuri headed back to his room.
He was a little anxious. Viktor only went to the beach when he needed to think or get his mind off something. Yuri noticed in the past eight months they’ve spent together that Viktor skated when he was upset or angry, and went to the beach to clear his head. Viktor wasn’t the kind of person to say what he feels. He says what’s on his mind all the time, though, Yuri is all too keen about that trait, but when it comes to emotions, Viktor is an action kind of guy. Another opposition in their characters. Yuri spoke his feelings, but Viktor was too emotionally-constipated to ever say what he feels. He’ll show you through actions, but sometimes, especially for someone as insecure as Yuri, words would help support your actions.
So what could Viktor be thinking about?
****************
Viktor laid back on the towel the Katsuki family loaned him. The patched sand beneath him didn’t compare to the soft mattress of Yuri’s bed, and the warmth of his favorite coat was no longer enough after being in the embrace of Yuri’s arms. But still, as he laid back with his head resting against the palms of his hands, and the sunshine dimly coming through the tint in his favorite shades, Viktor was content.
The Hasetsu beach used to remind him of St. Petersburg, but now, it just reminds him of home. But what does ‘home’ mean? He lived in Russia his whole life, travelling because of competitions, but always coming back. But he quickly learned anywhere he could skate was his ‘home’ because it wasn’t Russia, his beloved country, that was ‘home,’ it was the ice. Viktor never felt more at home than when he was skating. From the moment he set foot on the ice when he was seven years old, he knew he could never leave. He had said the ice was his true love, and all his ex boyfriend and girlfriends would always complain that he spent more time skating than with them. Viktor never cared much when they left him, he was hurt, of course, but they never understood why skating was so important to him. They didn’t share the love he had for the sport, therefore, he never really loved them.
Skating was the one thing that kept him afloat, kept him anchored through his lonely childhood. After the accident, he was placed under the care of Yakov and Lilia, his parents’ closest friends. They raised him like a son, and it was Yakob who first showed Viktor the beauty of the ice, of skating. For twenty years, Viktor knew only the love of his ice. The way he was able to dance his emotions and express them through his programs. Artists have their brushes and writers have their pencils, but Viktor had his blades. And it was his blades that carved out everything he felt into the open surface of the ice. The ice never judged him when he danced. The ice was there when he fell the numerous times he tried to perfect all his jumps. His skates always fit him and grew with him. He poured his heart, soul, blood, sweat, and tears onto the ice, and the ice greedily drank it up, never once complaining.
And Viktor thought the ice requited his love by finally letting him lands his jumps. He thought this love was further backed by all the competitions he won. The medals he received little gifts from years of writing on the ice. But after winning the Grand Prix Final for the fifth time, Viktor was weary. No, Viktor was lonely.
He had friends and had he his team, but to them, he was just Viktor Nikiforov the ice skating legend. He had the whole world in his hands, but after years of this relationship with the ice, he realized that no one understood him. No one knew Viktor, just Viktor. Not the legend, but the orphaned boy at seven. The teenage boy who let his hair grow out and wore costumes that hid his gender because he wasn’t sure who he was. The man he became outside of just someone to beat. As far as everyone knew, Viktor Nikiforov never cried, never lost, and never flubbed a jump. Viktor NIkiforov was perfect.
But he wasn’t. He was just Viktor. He had fears like everyone else. He had insecurities. He had a past. He just became so good at hiding his emotions, the only way he ever let them out was when he skated on the ice, and yet, not even the ice understood him. Viktor Nikiforov the ice skating legend. Viktor Nikiforov the lonely ice skating legend.
Viktor sighed and sat up. He brought his knees up to his chest and hugged them. Burying his head in them, he struggled not to cry.
“Viktor will you be retiring this season or continue skating?”
Viktor had honestly considered retiring, but then what would he have? For twenty years, he dedicated his life to the ice. It was more than a passion for him, it was his life, and he didn’t know what he could be or what would become of him if he left it. But then drunken Katsuki Yuri stumbled into his life, literally, and turned his entire world upside down.
“If I win this dance off… you’ll be my coach, right, Viktor?” The Japanese skater asked. Viktor looked down into the big brown eyes of Yuri Katsuki and his heart skipped a beat. “Viktor, be my coach!” Yuri grinned hugging him. Viktor stood still, his eyes widening, his face heating. He couldn’t think straight. Why was this man asking Viktor to be his coach?
“Is Viktor… blushing?” He heard Chris whisper. Viktor tried to compose himself, but Yuri was still clinging to him, and the heat of his embrace made Viktor lightheaded. After a beat, though, he felt Yuri’s embrace loosen, and Viktor placed two fingers underneath the skater’s chin and gently raised his head. Yuri had fallen asleep! Viktor let out a breathy chuckle and quickly lifted the Japanese skater off the ground before he fell.
“Where’s his coach?” He heard Russian Yuri ask. There was a string of murmurs in response but Viktor ignored them all.
“I’ll take him to his room,” he said. The entire room went silent as a response, but Viktor didn’t care. He started walking out the doors of the hall when he felt a hand on his shoulder. He turned to see his friend Chris standing behind him.
“Viktor, I- don’t do anything stupid,” Chris said shyly. Viktor raised his eyebrows in response and Chris scoffed, “God, not like that. I mean- just- just forget about it.”
Viktor wiped the single tear that had escaped him and chuckled at the memory. Now he understands what Chris meant, and unfortunately for him, Viktor went and did just that. He fell in love with the drunk Japanese skater that begged him to be his coach, but to his defense, he didn’t plan on that happening at all.
“Oh, Yuri,” Viktor sighed. Yuri with the dark hair and the beautiful brown eyes that changed color in the sun. They looked almost amber, and when he was happy they sparkled so much so the stars in the sky seemed dull in comparison. They twinkled when he was in thought, and when they looked directly at Viktor, it was like they could see into his soul. Those brown eyes were the worlds Viktor never knew he was looking for, the ones he never knew he needed. And when Yuri smiled…. Viktor didn’t know what love truly was until he saw Yuri Katsuki smile.
It was falling in love with Yuri that Viktor truly understood why he never really loved anyone else or the ice for that matter. It was Yuri’s determination and passion for skating that made Viktor realize that while he did love the sport, and the blades where the brushes to his canvas, he never really loved them because the ice couldn’t love him the way Yuri does. The ice never asked for his story, for his past, but Yuri did. The blades never marveled at the man that wore them, but Yuri did. The medals and the fans and the rivals never saw him like Yuri does. To Yuri he can be Viktor Nikiforov, the person, not just the legend. He smiled, lost in thought, and failed to see the curly-haired blob that was about to pounce him.
“Viktor!” Yuri shouted just as Makkachin attacked him. Viktor laughed, surprised but all too happy to be on the receiving end of the slobbery kisses of his dog. “There you are,” Yuri smiled down at him. “You left early. How long have you been waiting for us? You know how much of morning person I’m not. Mari-neechan said you hadn’t left too long ago, but I’m afraid she might have been trying to appease me and-”
Viktor jumped up and attacked his fiance the way Makkachin had attacked him. Yuri’s words got lost in the conversation Viktor’s lips were having with his. Yuri’s lips were so soft and warm, Viktor melted into them. Yuri wrapped his arms around his waist as Viktor’s hands caressed his face and held his hair. He felt Yuri smile into the kiss, and that just made Viktor’s stomach flutter. He broke the kiss (for air purposes not because he wanted to), and said, “You worry too much, lyubov moya.”
Yuri laughed at the Russian endearment and raised his hands to cup Viktor’s face, “You already know this. Don’t act so surprised, Vitya.” Viktor swore his heart was going to burst out of his chest at that term. His stomach fluttered with butterflies and he just couldn’t contain himself. He kissed Yuri again and again and again. Yuri laughed, but then somehow managed to capture both of Viktor’s hands in his. He smirked at Viktor’s shocked expression and then wrestled him to the sand. As he laid on top of him, his thighs on either side of Viktor’s waist and his hands pinning Viktor’s on either side of his head, he leaned in.
“Don’t try to distract me,” Yuri tsked, his voice low and husky. “You only come to the beach when something’s on your mind, so tell me what it is.”
Viktor’s breath caught in his throat, of course, he shouldn’t be surprised. It was only obvious that Yuri had been observing him just like Viktor had been observing him, but it was still a new thing for someone to pay attention to Viktor’s habits. To care about what was on his mind. He blinked innocently up at Yuri, knowing full well his cerulean eyes had the same effect on Yuri as Yuri’s did on him, “That was very eros of you, Yuri.”
Yuri blushed in response and Viktor grinned at his fiance’s adorable embarrassment. “Stop trying to avoid the question,” Yuri answered, his voice confident despite the sweet rosy color of his cheeks. “Tell me what’s on your mind or-or I’ll never let you sleep in my bed again.”
Viktor’s eyes widened and he gasped, “Yuri! Don’t do that to me again!”
Yuri snickered, the evil little sex-god. Viktor had turned him into a monster (but not that he was complaining), “Then talk to me,” Yuri said, his expression turning from deviant to sincere.
Viktor sighed, and Yuri got off him, he missed his warmth instantly but sat up. “I was just thinking about how much my life has changed since I met you. How much I’ve come to realize,” Viktor murmured softly. Yuri said nothing for a while. The sun kissed them lightly and the wind blew their hair softly like a mother’s stroke. The birds sang somewhere in the trees behind them, and Makkachin laid lazily on the sand at their feet. Viktor began to worry that Yuri’s mind had somehow twisted the words that left him mouth, but before he could say something to reassure Yuri that he wouldn’t leave him, Yuri spoke.
“Yeah, you changed my life, too, Viktor. And though sometimes I think it’s for the better, there’s other times where I think it’s for the worst.” Viktor gasped and his eyes widened, but Yuri chuckled, “Like when you prohibited me from eating pork cutlet bowls. I honestly thought I was going to die. I kept winning competitions but we were away from home and so I didn’t get them as a reward. I kept thinking ‘If Viktor hadn’t had become my coach, I could have ate all the pork cutlet bowls that I wanted.’”
Home. Yuri said when ‘they’ were away from ‘home.’ Viktor laughed to push back the tears, and lightly slapped Yuri’s shoulder, “Yuri,” his tongue wrapped around his fiance’s name like a prayer and Yuri smiled shyly at it, “You’re so dramatic.”
Yuri huffed, “Yeah, well, I wonder who I got it from.”
Viktor laughed again and Yuri joined him. Makkachin raised his head and wagged his tail and their laughter, when they stopped, Viktor placed his head on Yuri’s shoulder. “Yuri, meeting you has definitely changed my life for the better. I know you think I didn’t get any benefit from becoming your coach, but that’s not true.” Viktor could feel Yuri’s shoulders tense. Yuri knew what was coming. An explanation. A verbal confirmation of Viktor’s feelings.
“Being your coach, your friend, your lover, made me realize how much I have missed in the twenty years of my life that I dedicated to skating. I’m not saying I don’t love skating or anything, but I had an unhealthy obsession for something that couldn’t love me back. Skating is my passion, but I couldn’t see it as that because I had denied myself the two L’s.”
“The two L’s?” Yuri asked, his voice weaved with confusion and a hint of amusement. He brought his arm up around Viktor’s shoulder and Viktor hummed as Yuri’s hand rubbed up and down his arm.
“Life and Love,” Viktor said lightly. If he were looking at Yuri, he bet the man would be blushing. “For twenty years, I neglected both of them, and never let myself get close to anyone, not even past lovers. To everyone who knew me, I was just Viktor Nikiforov the ice skating legend, and I mean, that’s fine. I worked really hard to win those medals, and I inspired so many people-”
“Including me,” Yuri rushed, “You still are an inspiration to me, Viktor. Whether you’re on the ice or not.”
Viktor smiled, “I know, and that’s what I love about you, Yuri. I’m someone in your eyes. Someone with flaws, someone who can be made fun of, and someone you’re not afraid to challenge or to talk to. Out of all the interviews I participated in, not one ever asked me what my favorite genre of music was or if I liked to do something outside of skating. You helped me remember that I’m more than just a figure skating legend. I’m Viktor NIkiforov, a man who makes mistakes and a man who can love someone other than himself.”
Viktor felt Yuri’s fingers underneath his chin, but he didn’t expect to look up and see his precious brown eyes crying, “Viktor, you helped me realize love is all around me, and you helped me see that I can do whatever I want. I’m not weak, and you were right when you said no one ever thought I was. The biggest threat to my career, to my love for the ice, to myself was me. And once I finally understood that, it became easier for me to fight.”
Viktor sat up at reached for Yuri’s face. He gently cradled his face in his hands, both of them drinking in the details of the other’s face, not saying a word but communicating so much.
“I love you, Yuri Katuski,” Viktor whispered. Yuri’s eyes widened and they sparkled brighter than Viktor had ever seen them do before. It was the first time the words had ever left his lips. Yuri’s hand came up and grasped his wrist. Not breaking eye contact, Yuri kissed the inside of Viktor’s wrist.
“And I love you, Viktor Nikiforov. Even though you can be the biggest pain in my ass.” Viktor released a surprised laugh, Yuri’s favorite, and then Yuri surprised Viktor again by showering his fiance’s face with light pecks. “I can’t believe it took you this long to say it,” Yuri murmured in between kisses. Viktor laughed again and then buried his head in Yuri’s chest.
Yuri held him, and they stayed like that for a while.
They spent the rest of the day on the beach, chasing each other in the sand and splashing each other in the water. Viktor thanked the higher power for Yuri’s mom’s cooking as they ate the delicious breakfast she had prepared for them. The sun set, and they huddled near each other to watch. The colors of the sky painted in sweet hues of purple, pink, yellow, and orange, and Viktor couldn’t help but marvel at it. He’s seen it countless of times before, but the scene never ceases to amaze him. Like Yuri, who was staring at a different moment of beauty.
Yuri always thought the sunsets on the beach were beautiful, but nothing could compare to the way Viktor’s eyes lit up when he watched it set. The hues of the sky creating a soft backdrop to the serene beauty of Viktor’s face. His silver hair brushed lightly against his face as if the wind was running its fingers through it, and Yuri couldn’t help but admire.
Viktor finally said he loved me. I knew he did, but he finally said it. Yuri’s heart was thumping erratically and his stomach churned from the excitement and happiness that swept through his entire body.
“Viktor,” Yuri whispered, grabbing his hand, Viktor turned his head slightly, his blue eyes dancing with mirth, “Let’s get married soon. I’m tired of being your fiance. I want to be your husband.”
Viktor didn’t think Yuri Katsuki could surprise him even more, but Yuri always found a way. Viktor squealed with excitement and threw his arms around Yuri. They fell back into the sand, “Yes, yes, Yuri! Whenever you want! We’ll have a big wedding and everyone will be invited! Do you think Yurio will bring Otabek as a date?” Yuri laughed at the enthusiasm of his fiance, and nodded to everything he said. If Viktor wanted a big wedding, then they will have a big wedding. It will be the talk of all of Japan and Russia.
As they walked back to Yu-topia, their fingers intertwined and their faces rosy from the wind, neither could believe their luck. But anything is possible in this complicated and unpredictable game of Life and Love.