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The cold weather was breezing over both of you, but none of you were careful enough to bring a jacket. The smoke from your cigarette was the only source of warmth on the chilly night beach. You were lying on the cold sand, it was all over your body, between your fingers, under your back, tangled inside your hair... Jumin was sitting next to you, his knees against his chest. The comfortable silence of sitting with someone you love filled the air.
"Why don't you lie down next to me? Sand feels nice against my skin, you need to touch the earth a little don't you think... haha..." You were talking to Jumin but your eyes were looking the other way. You took another puff from your cigarette. Your free hand was playing with sand, watching it slip through your fingers, throwing away the rocks you find in between.
"I do not want to mess up my hair, it is quite troublesome to get sand out. I simply do not want to waste my time on such thing." You heard a few gulps back to back and the sound of setting a something in the sand. Jumin drinking straight from the bottle was not a usual thing. He didn't wanna bother with a glass today, you thought.
"I will wash your hair for you~ I will do anything for you..." Your voice got softer and more silent. You weren't sure if Jumin heard the second part but he hummed softly.
"Anything but being mine..." He did hear you. It was a small whisper from his side, he didn't even think it was audible for you due to wind and the sound of waves. But it was. You heard him nice and clear but decide to not answer him.
You gaze at the wavy ocean, only the white bubbles of the waves visible due to lack of light. It was around 11pm.
After the success of the RFA party, this time coordinated by you, Jumin invited the entire group for a weekend getaway on his private beach house as a celebration. Getting chased by Luciel's water guns on the beach for a long afternoon tired both you and Yoosung out for sure. Zen's beach thrist traps for his Tiktok and Jihyun taking photos of every partially interesting stuff made sure everyone got caught on random camera angles whether they like it or not. Messenger app filled is with nice memorial photos even on the first day, god knows what you will see tomorrow.
Very rare holiday of Jaehee's seems to charge her up, she spent most of her day reading a book under a shade but you and Zen managed to drag her to water and she beat Zen for good in a swimming race. He was still kinda pissy about it when you left them at the house last hour. Jumin barely touched water, after all your begging he did give up finally for 20 minutes until he got splashed by Luciel. He went back to his occult book after that for the rest of the day. It was the book you lent him last month. You guessed he could only read halfway through it the entire month because of all that work he is buried under.
"Had your stay here been enjoyable? Did you have fun? Of course everyone needed some time off like this but you're the one who worked most and needed a break. I hope you get to let off some steam after all your fruitful work." He broke off your recap of the day and killed the silence. It is very unlikely of him to talk first most of the time. But he seems to shake off the shyness when it comes to you. He doesn't hesitate to take the first step most of the time with you.
You took your eyes off of the visible stars of the night and turn your head to face him. From the look in his eyes, he has been staring at you instead of the scenery in front of him. "I wish you joined us more. I was mostly excited to see you let go today. You barely spent time with us."
"Mostly excited to see me? I am honoured. I will try to be more active tomorrow." He took a few more sips, he seems eager to have the booze hit him. It ussually means he is stressed and you felt something in your chest tighten. This was a vacation nonetheless and he doesn't seem to be enjoying. He looked troubled the entire day.
While you two were enjoying your alone time together the fuss in the house seemed to not end. The voices didn't affect you.
"I guess Luciel is teasing Zen again, what do you think?" You light up another cigarette.
"He is having the most fun out of everyone for sure." You both laughed lightly as he took another sip. You shoved your empty hand to his face making a grabby motion. Demanding the expensive drink before your throat gone dry because of the smoke. He lent the bottle to you. A few sips and you gave it back trying not to choke while drinking lied down.
Zen was watching two of you from the house, complaining about how Jumin is taking you all for himself.
"Today is an important day, let them be." said Jihyun, winking at Zen. Everyone's attention got on both of them as Zen squealed.
"WHAT DO YOU MEAN AN IMPORTANT DAY-" Jihyun shushed him. He was watching both of you with just as much intent. Unlike Zen he was excited and grinning. Hearing the "important thing" part, Yoosung's curiosity got the best of him and he settled down next to Jihyun. Jaehee and Luciel took a look at you two's sitting silhouettes but they continued on their discussion about whether coffee or energy drinks taste better.
The booze had affected Jumin enough to finally open up whats been sitting behind his throat for the entire day. "I haven't heard about your dates in a while? Are you that busy nowadays?"
The question left your throat dry more than any cigarette can. It was sudden and unexpected. There was no context behind it was there? You haven't had any dates since... Well you did.
"I haven't seen anyone in over a year. I couldn't take my mind off of... You know..."
"Our kiss?"
It was long over a year, back when Rika was alive... You were over at Jihyun's, Rika and Jumin was there. It was a friendly dinner and drinking night. Alcohol got both of you and you kissed. Everyone went back home safe that day but you made all three swore on not bringing it up ever again. You thought it was booze getting to you, not your feelings. But...
"I have been on three dates after the... kiss..."
"That's more than I ever been my entire life." He said. He was right. His voice showed disappointment. He tried to not give away but you know him too well.
"First one was this girl, friend of a friend." He turned to you, listening intently, knowing he will be upset in the end. He just does not want to dismiss you.
"It was a late night bar date. We were chatting casually but she held out her hand over the table. I held her hand. She hand long, slender fingers. Her hands were soft, her nails were not manicured but were kept short. I felt as if it was your hand, it was similar to yours. I blacked out for a few seconds, imagined it was your hand I was holding across the table. I drew my hand back as soon as I realized it was someone unfamiliar. I ran away fast after that and never texted her back."
Jumin's eyes light up in a way you have never seen before. They were filled with... Hope? Never seen that before, you thought to yourself. But he didn't say anything. You decided to continue.
"Second date was a mid-day coffee shop date with this guy from the school I'm teaching. It was, again, casual. I talked about my students. Nothing about you even though you crossed my mind the entire time. I just couldn't shut up because the moment I do, I happen to wish that it was you who I'm talking to. I didn't understand a thing he said. Then the shop started playing that song we both love. The moment i heard the song I started shaking. I made up some random excuse that I don't even remember. I left so fast he was surprised. I saw him at the school the next week. I told him I'm not sure about stuff and didn't explain further."
"Which song I love gets you shaking like that?"
"Nothing Matters. The one I shoved into your face and somehow you liked it. I sometimes put it on replay at night when I can't sleep. Thinking of you relaxes even the most unsettling nights."
"I love most of the things you show me." It was true. He cherishes everything you show or give him. You like collecting lighters and trinkets. You once saw that drawer on his bedside table full of random stuff you gifted him. Some lighters there are worth like 50 cents and he even keeps those.
"Third one was this rich guy I met on my meetings. I only accepted his dinner offer to get my mind off of... you. We went to an expensive restaurant by seaside. I got there before him. The wine they open up for the table was one of your favourites and I knew that night won't pass. As if god was against me, he came in a black suit and a striped dress shirt. Vertical stripes just like you wear everyday. He was tall and I didn't look at his face for the half hour I spent on that table. I couldn't chew a single bite of the seafood that was brought on the table. I excused myself before the wine got to me and locked myself in ny house. I cried a lot that night. I knew I have no escape from you since then."
He didn't answer, thought you might continue, but you couldn't. Tears have already started forming in your eyes. You finally sit up so you can face him properly. He wasn't saying anything but the look in his eyes showed a pleasant emotion.
"Yeah that's all... I know this is kinda fucked up but I can't stand the thought of being with someone else other than you and it's driving me insane. I still remember how your lips felt against mine. I never thought one small peck could cut off all my desires for everyone else. My lips never touched anyone else's after yours. They never stopped seeking out warmth of your mouth, taste of your lips, smell of your breath... I would give up anything to have them just once more."
Maybe it's the Jäger you had earlier that gave you courage to confess all these, but you don't feel regret at all. The man that has been clouding your mind deserves to know your true feelings. He doesn't say anything for a while. You knew you messed up bad this time. But you didn't.
Jumin reached out to your hand, taking one of yours between his two, he was looking directly into your eyes.
"You can kiss me again. As much as you want. I just want one thing from you. You will not kiss anyone else again."
You removed your hand from his and cupped his face, digging your fingers in his neck, maybe expecting more than just the skin of his. You lent in for a soft kiss. He met you halfway. None of you moved nor deepen the kiss, you were just enjoying intimacy of brushing your lips together, eyes closed, only focused on the nice sensation.
You pulled away after some time, giving him a small peck. "I promise you will be the last man I will ever kiss." You buried your face on his shoulder so he won't see your crying face. "My mascara is staining your shirt, remind me to wash it." A chuckle was heard from him and he comb through your hair while you try to calm down. You didn't see the tears forming in his eyes.
"DID YOU GUYS SEE THAT???? THEY KISSED???? Is this the surprise of the day V????" Zen was freaked out seeing your little kiss he started shouting. Fortunately you and Jumin were way too far away to hear it. Unfortunately for people inside the house, their conversation got cut off by Zen's shouting.
"There is one more thing if Jumin gets brave enough." Jihyun said.
"Don't tell me they're gonna fuck in front of us. I will strangle him before he gets the chance for real." Luciel came behind him with his little "HOORAYY!".
Everyone gathered in the balcony and the commotion became too much to ignore. You lifted your head to check the noises coming from the house. Jumin decided to check what has gotten your attention, what was more important than your years long longing for each other.
"I hope they never understand us." You said, he let out a giggle so small you barely heard. While you were watching Zen's movements and try to understand the silly tantrum he throw out here and there, pointing at your silhouettes occasionally, Jumin went for his shorts' pocket. He waited patiently until you gave your attention back to him.
A ring box. He was holding a ring box. He was staring at you, teary eyes stressed to the maximum. He was shaking and licking his lips, probably trying to gather the words.
"I... did not intend to rush everything this fast but- Jihyun said this might be the best way to ask since you- Well... He knows you very well and I trust his judgement... I just know that I put my heart inside your palms, my home in your arms... Will you spend the rest of your life with me? Will you... marry me?"
"It is the best way... I would say yes any day. The right way doesn't matter. Nothing matters."
He didn't say anything back. Nothing was left to say. He even forgot to open the box. Inside was a white gold ring with small cat shape. There were little pink diamonds as cat's eyes. He knew your taste very well. You wondered if he picked out the ring with Jihyun too, but it looked too Jumin for mint haired man to intrude. He put the ring on your promise finger, still shaking. His smile was trembling and you hugged him so tight, this time never wanting to let go.
After enjoying your time and wearing out the excitement, you both got inside. Yoosung spat out the watermelon he was eating when you screamed inside showing your ring. It was a day worth celebrating this time.
"How come that jerk is the first one to get married among all of us? I mean I AM the most perfect boyfriend poss-"
"SHUT UP ZEN THIS IS MY DAY!"