Chapter Text
👤
Unknown Number
Yo, can we meet at 10 instead of 8? Chris just let me know he has a project due today and now we’re building a paper mache volcano at 6am
uhhh who is this?
please tell me chris is at least helping you and you’re not doing it for them
also can you send me a picture of it when it’s done, i’m sure it’s a masterpiece
Oh shoot, I'm sorry! My phone accidentally deleted all the contacts, must be the wrong number! Sorry again.
well now i am too curious, you can’t leave me hanging
You're oddly interested for a stranger. It's the best I can do at 6am with the equipment I have in the house.
what can I say? I'm stuck on an exceptionally Q U I E T shift. I need entertainment.
oh wow that’s…. umm… good job 👍
Yeah yeah ok well at least he’s going to show up with something.
Why Q U I E T? Quiet???
oh no
you’ve done it now
shit, gotta go
What
What just happened
Okay well sorry again for the unsolicited early morning text.
👤
Unknown Number
so yesterday I watched a documentary on volcanos and it reminded me of you.
...Who is this?
your wrong number from the other day.
I can see that
But WHO are you?
Another Q U I E T shift?
ahhh see!! so i am memorable! i’m on hour 23 of a 24 hour Q word shift, i’m bored and thought you’d be around
I think getting paid for just lying around texting strangers is a pretty good deal. I don't think that would be boring?
oh it is, especially when the alarm has only rang once in the last 7 hours. so yeah, i've got nothing to do and your number popped up in my text history.
Why do we not say the Q word in full?
because it’s a jinx!!! the second someone says it, it suddenly becomes chaotic. proven the other day when you said it! i didn’t even realize it could also be triggered via text.
You're so weird.
and yet here you are still replying to me... what does that say about you?
Do I need to block you? Or change my phone number? Are you a serial killer who is going to cut me up, cook me and eat me Jeffrey Dahmer style?
omg … i should rethink this and change MY number
Perhaps you should…
nah, the chances of you being a serial killer are pretty slim, there hasn’t been many serial killers recently, it’s hard to get away with it for so long these days compared to the 1980’s with all the advancements in DNA.
You know a lot about serial killers for someone who’s not a serial killer.
i watch a lot of documentaries
so tell me, how did the school project go? did that abomination of a volcano at least get a pass?
Hey, by the time we were done it was a lot better, we used Mentos and Diet Coke and Chris got a B+
please tell me you filmed the eruption
i feel emotionally invested in this volcano now
No we didn’t
nevermind, hopefully you’ll have more pre warning to work on his next project
you’ve got 15 minutes until my shift is up btw
What and you can’t text after that?
i’m sure you’ll be glad to get rid of me
Eddie.
...?
My name
cool
Oh. I see how it is. See, I knew you'd be the serial killer in this equation.
‘til next time, eddie!
…
Wow
Rude
E
Eddie (Text @ 6am)
hi eddie.
edward? eduardo? edmund? edgar?
eddie eddie eddie eddie eddie eddie.
That’s my name, don’t wear it out.
oh my god, who says that anymore? how old ARE you?
Ha! Well you’re clearly old enough to understand the reference.
Hello to you too, Unknown Number
lol
Can I help you with something?
know any fun facts?
Not really.
okaaaay… want me to tell you some?
Sure.
otters hold hands when they sleep so they don’t drift apart in the water
That’s adorable
Any more?
blue eyed black lemurs are the only primate to have blue eyes other than humans
i have blue eyes too
Are you googling these?
excuse you
these are stored in my brain
gotta go!
So long
E
Eddie (Text @ 6am)
did you know they once sent a pizza hut pizza into space?
it cost $1million and they sent it to the international space station
Wouldn’t it have been cold by the time it got there?
“30 minutes, or it’s free!”
i think that was domino’s who said that 🤣
it took a few days in a supply rocket and they had to use salami as a topping because that was the least crumbly option
Interesting
I’m more of a bbq chicken pizza guy myself
nice
hawaiian for me
Oh
*Blocked*
not a fan?
Fruit does not belong on pizza
I live with someone who likes it though, so sometimes i’m stuck with picking pieces of pineapple off
it’s elite actually
your tastebuds just aren’t mature, clearly
That’s probably accurate
your roommate has good taste
Not sure about that
What other weird foods do you go for?
i sometimes put chips in my sandwiches
I could get on board with that
A bit of added crunch. What flavor?
sour cream & onion mostly, but whatever i can find, im not picky
Sounds delicious
you should try it!
gotta go!
Maybe I will
Bye
E
Eddie (Text @ 6am)
morning!
what’s for dinner this evening?
It's 6am, I haven't even thought about breakfast, let alone dinner.
i’ve already got mine planned
Of course you do, what is it?
mushroom risotto. made a big batch on the weekend.
Well that’s cheating, that’s just another meal you already organized stretched over multiple days, nothing to brag about really, you’re no more planned than I am
whatever, at least i have food for dinner ready unlike someone
I’m sure I can spin something together that we are happy with. Maybe pasta, maybe chicken nuggets, who knows!
a delicacy!
Exactly, I put those chicken nuggets in the oven with love and they’re a hit in this household
“this household” how many people are you impressing with your cooking skills?
Just me and a very very picky roommate
the one who likes pineapple on pizza?
The very one
E
Eddie (Text @ 6am)
fun fact
i think you’re becoming my favorite 6am person
The bar must be pretty low, how many 6am people do you have?
oh, you’d be surprised. not all of them are interested in hearing my fun facts.
They can’t be very good people then.
no, they are, i’m just a lot sometimes
I’m sure that’s not true
I enjoy them
glad to hear it
Got any more?
YES LOADS
oh
alarm.. gotta go sorry
speak tomorrow!
E
Eddie (Text @ 6am)
RISE AND SHINE
did you know that the empire state building is struck by lightning 25 times a year
and lightning bolts are 5x hotter than the sun
being struck by lightning would suuuuuck
Okay
okay?
that’s all you have to say about my early morning knowledge?
Yup
ok well since you seem to be in a grumpy mood, how about you tell me what’s going on with you instead?
Oh, so you’re now a therapist?
no im not, just thought i could help cheer you up
Maybe you should focus on work instead.
Buck.
Huh?
that’s my name - it’s short for buckley (my last name)
Cool.
oh very funny
well now we are acquainted as eddie and buck, we’re no longer strangers so you can tell me what’s up?
Technically we are still strangers
eddie, please…
Look, can you just stop using me as a distraction and go back to your life or whatever?
oh
okay sure
im sorry if i was too much