Chapter Text
SANGWON
There was something oddly comforting about libraries before eight in the morning.
Maybe it was the silence.
Not the heavy, suffocating kind that made people uncomfortable, but the peaceful sort—the quiet hum of fluorescent lights, the faint rustle of turning pages somewhere between the shelves, the distant clacking of a keyboard from a student who'd probably been there since dawn.
Sangwon liked arriving early enough to experience it.
Before the campus filled with chatter.
Before phones started ringing.
Before classmates greeted each other across hallways loud enough to echo through the building.
Before people remembered he existed.
He slipped one earbud into his left ear as he climbed the marble steps leading to the humanities building.
A piano concerto drifted softly through the tiny speaker.
No lyrics.
Just piano accompanied by strings.
It blended so naturally with the chilly autumn morning that he almost forgot he was listening to music at all.
His canvas tote bag rested against his hip, noticeably heavier than it should've been.
Two poetry collections.
A novel he'd borrowed from the library.
Three notebooks.
One of them was dedicated exclusively to lines he liked enough to write down.
Most people highlighted their favorite passages.
Sangwon copied them by hand.
He always thought beautiful words deserved the extra effort.
The literature building was almost empty.
A few first-years hurried down the hallway carrying coffee cups that were probably stronger than anything medically recommended.
A professor walked past with a stack of papers tucked beneath one arm.
Sangwon quietly bowed his head in greeting.
The professor smiled.
"Morning."
"Good morning."
That was enough conversation for the next hour.
Exactly how Sangwon liked it.
---
His first lecture wasn't until nine.
He still arrived at eight.
He always did.
The hour beforehand belonged entirely to him.
He settled into his usual seat beside the large windows overlooking the courtyard.
The morning sun painted pale rectangles across the wooden desks.
Students would later complain about sitting there because of the glare.
Sangwon loved it.
He opened the book he'd borrowed the previous afternoon.
A collection of poems.
Some he'd already read countless times.
Some were new.
He never skipped directly to unfamiliar ones.
Revisiting old favorites felt like greeting old friends.
His fingers gently traced the edge of one page before turning it.
Outside...
Leaves drifted lazily across the courtyard.
Someone biked through campus.
Two squirrels chased each other around the fountain.
Everything moved slowly.
Deliberately.
Exactly the way Sangwon liked mornings to feel.
His phone buzzed.
He didn't look immediately.
He finished the poem first.
Only then did he unlock the screen.
—Junseo: Are you already in class?
Sangwon smiled faintly.
—Sangwon: I've been here for twenty minutes.
The reply came almost instantly.
—Junseo: You're actually insane.
Another message.
—Junseo: Save me a seat.
—Junseo: And buy me coffee.
Sangwon typed back.
—Sangwon: Those are two different requests.
—Sangwon: Pick one.
Junseo responded with a crying emoji.
Then—
—Junseo: Coffee.
Sangwon chuckled quietly to himself.
---
Junseo arrived exactly eighteen minutes later.
Hair messy.
Backpack hanging from one shoulder.
Holding absolutely nothing that suggested he'd prepared for today's lecture.
He collapsed dramatically into the chair beside Sangwon.
"...Morning."
"You overslept."
"I woke up."
Junseo rubbed his face.
"I just didn't agree with it."
Sangwon slid a coffee across the desk.
Junseo stared.
"...You bought it anyway?"
"You asked."
Junseo looked suspicious.
"Who are you and what have you done with Sangwon?"
"I was already buying one."
"You don't drink coffee in the morning."
"I bought tea."
"...Then why buy me coffee?"
Sangwon blinked.
"Because you asked."
Junseo stared for a moment before laughing.
"You're ridiculous."
---
By the time the lecture began, Sanghyeon had joined them.
Unlike Junseo...
Sanghyeon looked painfully awake.
Color-coded notes.
Color-coded pens.
Laptop already open before the professor entered.
Junseo leaned toward Sangwon.
"...He's terrifying."
Without looking away from his screen, Sanghyeon answered,
"I heard that."
"You were supposed to."
---
Literature lectures were rarely quiet despite what people assumed.
Students argued.
Debated interpretations.
Read passages aloud with entirely different emotions.
The room felt alive.
Today's topic centered around modern poetry.
The professor projected a single verse onto the board.
Then asked,
"What do you think the author is trying to say?"
Hands immediately shot up.
Some students believed it represented grief.
Others argued loneliness.
One confidently claimed it symbolized political unrest.
The discussion quickly became louder than expected.
Sangwon listened.
As he always did.
He liked hearing everyone else's interpretations before offering his own.
Eventually...
The professor looked toward the back row.
"Sangwon?"
Several heads turned.
Sangwon blinked once before quietly closing his notebook.
"I think..."
His voice was soft.
The room instinctively became quieter.
"...everyone's probably right."
A few confused expressions appeared.
He continued.
"Poetry doesn't stop belonging to the author once it's written."
The professor smiled.
Sangwon looked down at the projected verse again.
"It belongs to whoever reads it."
He hesitated.
"Someone grieving might read comfort."
"Someone lonely might read hope."
"Someone angry might read protest."
"They're all reading the same words."
"...Just different versions of themselves."
Silence settled over the room.
Not awkward.
Thoughtful.
The professor nodded slowly.
"I like that answer."
Junseo leaned over.
"...Show-off."
Sangwon frowned.
"I wasn't—"
"I'm kidding."
---
By lunchtime, the campus had transformed completely.
The peaceful morning silence had disappeared beneath conversations spilling from every direction.
Students occupied nearly every bench.
Music drifted from portable speakers.
Someone had somehow convinced half the engineering department to play volleyball on the lawn.
Sangwon preferred watching from a distance.
He sat beneath one of the maple trees near the humanities building with Junseo, Sanghyeon and Anxin.
Anxin was halfway through complaining about a group project.
"...and then he had the audacity to say my formatting was inconsistent."
Junseo gasped dramatically.
"The horror."
"I'm serious."
"So am I."
"You laughed."
"I laughed respectfully."
Anxin threw a french fry at him.
Junseo caught it.
"...Thanks."
"Give it back."
"No."
Sangwon quietly ate his lunch while listening to them argue.
This was usually how lunch went.
He didn't mind.
He liked listening more than talking.
"You know," Anxin suddenly said, looking at Sangwon, "someone was asking about you again."
Sangwon froze for exactly half a second.
"...Who?"
"I don't know."
Junseo answered before Anxin could.
"A business major."
"Second year."
"Saw you at the library."
Sangwon sighed.
"...Oh."
Anxin noticed immediately.
"You're doing that face."
"What face?"
"The 'please don't let this happen again' face."
"I don't have one."
"You absolutely do."
Junseo laughed.
"You should just wear a fake wedding ring."
Sangwon nearly choked on his water.
"What?"
"I'm serious."
"People would leave you alone."
"They'd think I got married at twenty."
"Exactly."
Sanghyeon looked up from his laptop.
"...That might raise more questions."
Junseo shrugged.
"Fair."
Sangwon rubbed his forehead.
"I just don't understand."
"What?"
"Why people keep asking."
The three of them stared.
Junseo spoke first.
"...Have you looked in a mirror recently?"
Sangwon blinked.
"...Every morning."
"And?"
"I brush my teeth."
Junseo groaned dramatically.
"No, Sangwon."
"I mean your face."
"My..."
"You're objectively attractive."
Sangwon looked genuinely confused.
"...I am?"
All three of them answered simultaneously.
"Yes."
Sangwon looked down at his lunch.
"...Oh."
Anxin burst into laughter.
"I don't think he actually knows."
"He doesn't," Junseo sighed.
"That's the problem."
---
The rest of the afternoon passed quietly.
A seminar.
A stop at the library.
Returning one book.
Borrowing two more.
Normal.
Comfortable.
Exactly the kind of day Sangwon enjoyed.
Until his phone buzzed again.
This time...
it wasn't one of his literature friends.
The screen displayed a name he didn't expect.
—Geonwoo: Dinner tonight?
—Geonwoo: Everyone's coming.
Sangwon blinked.
Everyone.
Which meant...
Not just Junseo, Sanghyeon and Anxin.
But Geonwoo.
Arno.
Xinlong.
Leo.
He hadn't seen the engineering students in almost three weeks.
Not because anything had happened.
Their schedules simply didn't line up often.
The eight of them had become one friend group almost by accident.
Junseo and Geonwoo had been childhood friends.
Anxin somehow knew Arno through a language exchange program.
Xinlong got along with absolutely everyone.
Eventually...
the groups had simply merged.
Not permanently.
Just enough that dinners every few weeks became normal.
Sangwon got along with all of them.
Especially Geonwoo.
He and Arno were loud in a way that was oddly entertaining.
Xinlong had a dry sense of humor that often caught everyone off guard.
And Leo...
Sangwon wasn't sure what to think about Leo.
He was friendly.
Talkative.
Always teasing someone.
Usually Geonwoo.
Sometimes Junseo.
Occasionally even Sangwon, though never enough to make him uncomfortable.
They weren't close.
If someone asked Sangwon whether Leo was his friend...
he'd probably say yes.
But not a close one.
More like...
someone he always enjoyed seeing whenever their paths happened to cross.
Someone whose laugh was surprisingly contagious.
Someone who somehow managed to make entire conversations revolve around him without seeming arrogant.
Someone who listened to music Sangwon couldn't imagine voluntarily putting on.
They were...
different.
Very different.
And yet...
whenever all eight of them met...
conversation never felt forced.
Sangwon looked back at the message.
A second notification appeared.
—Geonwoo: 7 PM.
—Geonwoo: Don't disappear into the library again.
For the first time that day...
Sangwon laughed out loud.
He typed a simple reply.
—Sangwon: I'll be there.
Little did he know that by the end of that evening, Leo would ask him a question that would quietly change both of their lives.
---
Dinner with all eight of them was never quiet.
Sangwon realized that within the first three minutes of sitting down.
The restaurant wasn't particularly loud—just a small Korean place tucked between a bookstore and a stationery shop a few streets away from campus—but somehow their table always managed to become the liveliest one in the room.
Mostly because of Geonwoo.
"No, no, listen," Geonwoo insisted, chopsticks waving dramatically in the air. "I'm telling you, Arno cheated."
"I did not cheat."
"You absolutely did."
"I adapted."
"You cheated."
"I innovated."
Junseo leaned back in his chair.
"...Those are literally synonyms in your vocabulary."
"They're not."
"They are."
Across the table, Xinlong calmly took another bite of his food.
"They're arguing over Mario Kart."
Sanghyeon didn't even look up from pouring himself water.
"I assumed."
The table erupted into laughter.
Sangwon couldn't help smiling.
These dinners always reminded him why he liked this group.
No matter how long it had been since they'd all seen each other, everything picked up exactly where it had left off.
Nobody had to try.
Nobody forced conversation.
It simply... happened.
---
Leo arrived almost ten minutes late.
The restaurant door slid open just as the appetizers were being set down.
"There he is," Arno called.
"Took you long enough."
Leo sighed dramatically as he dropped into the empty seat beside Xinlong.
"My lab ran over."
"Sure."
"It actually did."
Geonwoo folded his arms.
"Convenient excuse."
"I literally sent pictures."
"Photoshop."
"I don't know how to use Photoshop."
"Exactly what someone using Photoshop would say."
Leo laughed, shaking his head before finally noticing Sangwon sitting across from him.
"Oh."
He smiled.
"Hi."
Sangwon returned the smile almost instinctively.
"Hi."
It wasn't a long exchange.
Barely two words.
Still...
Leo's smile lingered for another second before he reached for the menu.
---
Sangwon had always found Leo interesting.
Not because he was loud.
Plenty of people were loud.
Leo wasn't.
Not really.
He talked a lot, sure.
He joked constantly.
He loved teasing everyone at the table.
But he also listened.
Whenever someone else spoke, Leo gave them his full attention.
He asked questions.
Remembered little details from conversations months ago.
He had a way of making people feel heard without making it obvious.
Sangwon admired that.
Even if he'd never actually told him.
---
Halfway through dinner, the conversation shifted toward music.
Entirely because Arno had stolen one of Leo's earbuds.
"What have you been listening to?"
Leo reached across the table.
"Give those back."
Arno held them above his head.
"No."
Xinlong took one earbud from Arno's hand before Leo could protest.
A heavy guitar riff spilled into the air.
Junseo winced dramatically.
"Oh."
"What?"
"It sounds angry."
"It is angry."
Sanghyeon looked mildly concerned.
"Do people relax to this?"
Leo grinned.
"I do."
Junseo pointed toward Sangwon.
"Play him yours."
Leo blinked.
"My music?"
"Mhm."
"He'll hate it."
"I won't."
Everyone looked toward Sangwon.
He blinked.
"I've never heard it before."
Leo laughed softly.
"You've never listened to rock?"
"Not really."
"Rap?"
Sangwon shook his head.
"Electronic?"
"...Does movie soundtracks count?"
Geonwoo slapped the table.
"We're fixing this."
Sangwon smiled sheepishly.
"I'm sorry."
"What are you apologizing for?"
"I don't know."
Junseo answered for him.
"He apologizes whenever he exists."
"I do not."
"You apologized to a chair once."
"I bumped into it."
"The chair survived."
Sangwon hid his face behind his water glass.
The table laughed again.
Even Leo.
---
Somehow, the conversation turned back on Leo.
"So," Geonwoo said, leaning forward, "how's... you know."
The atmosphere shifted almost imperceptibly.
Leo's smile faded.
"...He's still annoying."
Nobody asked who.
They all knew.
His ex.
Sangwon didn't know many details.
Only bits and pieces gathered from previous dinners.
They'd broken up several months ago.
It hadn't ended particularly well.
Recently, they'd started sharing more engineering classes.
From what Geonwoo had mentioned before, the situation had become... exhausting.
Leo sighed.
"He waited outside my lecture again today."
Arno frowned.
"Seriously?"
"Mhm."
"And yesterday."
"And the day before."
Xinlong clicked his tongue.
"That's getting creepy."
"It already was."
Leo shrugged, trying to sound casual.
"I'll survive."
Sangwon looked down at his bowl.
Something about the way Leo had said it bothered him.
Not because the words sounded dramatic.
Because they didn't.
They sounded practiced.
Like someone who'd been repeating the same sentence to himself for weeks.
"I'll survive."
---
Dinner eventually came to an end.
Bills were split.
Jackets pulled back on.
The cool evening air greeted them the moment they stepped outside.
Autumn had settled comfortably over the city.
Streetlights reflected against rain left over from the afternoon.
Someone suggested dessert.
Someone else reminded everyone they had eight o'clock classes the next morning.
The group naturally began splitting into smaller conversations as they walked.
Junseo and Sanghyeon drifted ahead, debating whether a novel they'd both read deserved its ending.
Anxin caught up to Xinlong, immediately starting another discussion about a class presentation.
Arno and Geonwoo somehow resumed their Mario Kart argument as though it had never stopped.
Sangwon found himself walking near the back.
Hands tucked inside the pockets of his coat.
Listening more than speaking.
He liked walking after dinner.
Especially with company.
There was something peaceful about conversations blending into the rhythm of footsteps.
---
"Sangwon."
He looked up.
Leo had slowed until they were walking side by side.
"...Yeah?"
"You heading back to your dorm?"
"Mhm."
"Same direction as me for a bit."
"Oh."
A small silence settled between them.
Not uncomfortable.
Just unfamiliar.
They'd rarely spoken alone.
Usually there was always someone else joining the conversation.
Leo rubbed the back of his neck.
"You've been busy lately."
Sangwon nodded.
"Midterms."
"Right."
"You too?"
Leo laughed.
"Engineering never stops."
"I've heard."
"You've heard correctly."
Another quiet laugh escaped Sangwon before he could stop it.
Leo glanced at him.
"You laugh more than people think."
Sangwon blinked.
"...Do I?"
"Mhm."
"You just do it quietly."
Sangwon wasn't sure what to say to that.
So he smiled instead.
---
The campus slowly emptied as people peeled off toward different residence halls.
Eventually, only four of them remained.
Then three.
Geonwoo waved over his shoulder.
"See you guys tomorrow!"
Arno disappeared with him.
Xinlong headed toward another path after saying goodnight.
Suddenly...
Only Sangwon and Leo were left.
The silence felt different now.
Noticeable.
Not awkward.
Just...
unexpected.
They reached the intersection where their dormitories branched in opposite directions.
Sangwon slowed.
"I guess I'll—"
"Hey."
Leo interrupted himself almost immediately.
"...Actually."
He looked strangely nervous.
Far more nervous than Sangwon had ever seen him.
He glanced around as if checking whether anyone else was nearby.
Then looked back at Sangwon.
"...Can I ask you something?"
Sangwon tilted his head slightly.
"Of course."
Leo hesitated.
It wasn't the hesitation of someone searching for words.
It was the hesitation of someone wondering whether they should ask at all.
Finally, he let out a quiet breath.
"...Do you have a few minutes?"
Sangwon looked at him for a moment.
Then nodded.
"I do."
Leo gestured toward one of the empty benches lining the quiet campus path.
"...Could we sit?"
Something in his expression made Sangwon's curiosity grow.
Leo wasn't someone who got nervous easily.
Whatever he wanted to say...
It clearly mattered.
---
The bench overlooked one of the quieter corners of campus.
During the day, students often gathered there between lectures, filling the space with conversations and takeaway coffee cups. At night, however, it became almost deserted.
A single streetlamp illuminated the stone path.
Somewhere nearby, a fountain trickled softly.
The air smelled faintly of damp leaves.
Sangwon sat down first, placing his tote bag carefully beside him.
Leo remained standing for another few seconds.
Hands shoved deep into the pockets of his jacket.
Looking everywhere except at Sangwon.
The silence stretched.
Not uncomfortable.
Just... strange.
Finally, Leo exhaled through his nose before sitting beside him.
"...This is going to sound weird."
Sangwon glanced at him.
"...Okay."
Leo laughed quietly.
"I haven't even said anything yet."
"I know."
"And you're already accepting it?"
Sangwon shrugged.
"I figured warning me means you know it's weird."
"...Fair enough."
Another silence.
Leo rubbed the back of his neck again.
Sangwon noticed he did that whenever he felt awkward.
He'd seen him do it once before, months ago, after accidentally spilling soup all over Geonwoo's backpack.
Interesting.
He hadn't realized he'd paid enough attention to notice habits like that.
---
"So..."
Leo began.
"...You know my ex."
Sangwon nodded once.
"Only a little."
"Yeah."
Leo stared at the pavement.
"He hasn't exactly..."
He frowned.
"...Accepted the breakup."
Sangwon stayed quiet.
Leo seemed like he needed someone to listen more than someone to answer.
"It's been months."
"He still waits outside my lectures."
"He messages me from different accounts whenever I block him."
"He somehow always knows where I am."
Leo laughed once.
It wasn't amused.
"Honestly, it's getting exhausting."
Sangwon looked at him.
"You don't have to laugh."
Leo blinked.
"...What?"
"You don't sound like you think it's funny."
Leo stared at him for a second.
Then looked away again.
"...Right."
It was a small comment.
Probably meaningless.
Yet for some reason...
It made Leo feel oddly understood.
Most people immediately responded with advice.
"Ignore him."
"Block him."
"He'll get over it."
Sangwon hadn't done any of that.
He'd simply pointed out the obvious.
That Leo wasn't actually laughing.
---
"I've tried talking to him."
Leo continued.
"I've tried ignoring him."
"I've tried asking mutual friends to explain."
"Nothing works."
Sangwon frowned slightly.
"That sounds tiring."
"It is."
"I don't really know what to do anymore."
The words came out quieter than the rest.
More honest.
Almost like he hadn't intended to say them aloud.
---
Sangwon folded his hands in his lap.
"I'm sorry."
Leo immediately shook his head.
"No, don't apologize."
"...You always apologize."
Sangwon blinked.
"I do?"
Leo smiled faintly.
"You apologized for existing at dinner."
"I didn't."
"You kind of did."
"I apologized because—"
"You bumped into a chair?"
Sangwon looked offended.
"It surprised me."
Leo laughed.
A real laugh this time.
"There he is."
"What?"
"The sarcastic Sangwon."
"I'm not sarcastic."
"You definitely are."
"Quietly."
Sangwon looked away, unsuccessfully hiding the tiny smile tugging at the corner of his lips.
"...Maybe a little."
---
The conversation drifted naturally after that.
Classes.
Professors.
Music.
Books.
Nothing particularly important.
Yet the longer they talked, the more Sangwon realized something.
Talking to Leo alone wasn't very different from talking to him in a group.
Except...
Without everyone else around, Leo seemed calmer.
Less interested in making jokes.
More willing to let silence exist.
Sangwon hadn't expected that.
---
"You really only listen to classical music?"
Leo asked eventually.
"Mostly."
"Nothing else?"
"I listen to instrumental movie soundtracks sometimes."
Leo looked dramatically horrified.
"That's somehow even more on-brand."
"What does that mean?"
"I don't know."
Leo grinned.
"It just feels correct."
Sangwon laughed softly.
"What about you?"
"I'll listen to almost anything."
"You said almost."
"Mhm."
"There are limits."
"Like?"
"Christmas music in October."
"...Reasonable."
"And songs that are obviously made just to become TikTok trends."
Sangwon nodded thoughtfully.
"I don't think I've heard any."
Leo stared.
"...You're kidding."
"No."
"You don't use TikTok?"
"Not really."
"...Instagram?"
"Sometimes."
"...YouTube?"
"Mostly for lectures."
Leo slowly looked up toward the night sky.
"I'm talking to a seventy-year-old man."
"I'm twenty-one."
"Could've fooled me."
---
The ease of the conversation surprised both of them.
Sangwon had expected awkwardness.
Leo had expected to rush through what he needed to say.
Instead...
Twenty minutes disappeared.
Then thirty.
Neither of them noticed.
Until Leo checked his phone.
"...It's almost ten."
Sangwon looked at the time.
"...Oh."
Neither moved.
---
Leo swallowed.
Right.
The reason he had asked Sangwon to stay.
He almost forgot.
Almost.
He took a slow breath.
"Actually..."
His tone changed enough that Sangwon immediately noticed.
"There was..."
He searched for the right words.
"...Another reason I wanted to talk."
Sangwon nodded encouragingly.
"I'm listening."
Leo stared at the ground.
Then laughed awkwardly.
"I've been trying to figure out how to ask this for three days."
Sangwon tilted his head.
"Three days?"
"Mhm."
"I almost texted you."
"I decided that would've been worse."
"...Probably."
"Then I almost asked you in front of everyone."
"...Definitely worse."
"Yeah."
Leo sighed.
"I know."
---
Another silence settled between them.
This one felt heavier.
The kind that comes before something important.
Leo spoke before he could lose his nerve.
"I need a favor."
Sangwon blinked.
"What kind of favor?"
"...A pretty big one."
"...Okay."
"It'll sound ridiculous."
"...Okay."
"And you can absolutely say no."
Sangwon smiled gently.
"You've said that twice now."
Leo frowned.
"...I have?"
"Mhm."
"'You can say no.'"
"You keep repeating it."
Leo scratched the back of his neck again.
"...Guess I'm nervous."
"I noticed."
"...That obvious?"
"A little."
Leo groaned quietly.
"Great."
---
Sangwon watched him for a moment.
Then, without thinking too much about it, he spoke.
"...Whatever it is."
Leo looked up.
"...You don't have to be nervous."
"I won't be upset."
Leo held his gaze for a few seconds.
There it was again.
That calm certainty Sangwon carried so effortlessly.
Like he genuinely meant every word he said.
It made people want to believe him.
Leo smiled.
"...Thanks."
---
He inhaled once.
Then finally asked.
"...Have you ever fake-dated someone?"
Sangwon blinked.
"...No."
"...Right."
Leo nodded to himself.
"Stupid question."
"I just..."
He laughed under his breath.
"I didn't know how else to start."
Sangwon's curiosity grew.
"...Why?"
Leo looked away.
"My friends had an idea."
"...I'm already worried."
"You should be."
Sangwon smiled despite himself.
Leo continued.
"They think..."
He paused.
"...They think if my ex believes I've moved on..."
"...He'll finally leave me alone."
Sangwon slowly nodded.
"I see."
"So..."
Leo hesitated one last time.
"...They suggested I pretend to date someone."
The words hung between them.
Sangwon considered them quietly.
It was certainly an unusual idea.
Not impossible.
Just...
Unexpected.
Leo hurried to continue before Sangwon could misunderstand.
"I know it sounds ridiculous."
"It is ridiculous."
"I told them it was ridiculous."
"But they wouldn't let it go."
"And then..."
He laughed awkwardly.
"They suggested someone."
Sangwon already had a feeling where this was heading.
Still...
He asked.
"...Who?"
Leo looked him directly in the eyes for the first time since sitting down.
"...You."
Silence.
The fountain continued trickling in the background.
A cool breeze stirred the leaves overhead.
Neither of them spoke.
Leo immediately panicked.
"I knew it."
"This was a terrible idea."
"You can forget I ever—"
"Why me?"
Leo stopped.
"...What?"
Sangwon wasn't offended.
Or uncomfortable.
If anything...
He looked genuinely curious.
"...Why did they suggest me?"
Leo let out a slow breath.
"Honestly?"
"Mhm."
"They said..."
A small smile tugged at the corner of his mouth.
"...You're basically his complete opposite."
Sangwon couldn't help letting out a quiet laugh.
"...That's a little mean."
"It kind of is."
"And..."
Leo continued.
"...They also said you're..."
He looked embarrassed now.
"...Really handsome."
Sangwon froze.
"...Oh."
"They thought it'd make him give up."
Sangwon looked down at his hands.
His ears had turned slightly pink.
"...I see."
Leo immediately waved both hands.
"I'm just telling you what they said."
"I know."
"I'm not saying—"
"I know."
Another silence.
Neither quite knew what to say next.
Leo finally cleared his throat.
"...Anyway."
"You don't have to answer now."
"You can think about it."
"You can say no."
"I'll completely understand."
"I just..."
He smiled sheepishly.
"...Figured it was worth asking."
Sangwon looked at him.
Really looked at him.
At the uncertainty behind the smile.
At how much courage it must have taken to ask something so absurd.
Then he remembered the countless awkward confessions he'd had to turn down this semester alone.
The uncomfortable conversations.
The guilty apologies.
The disappointed expressions.
If people thought he already had a boyfriend...
Those would stop.
He looked back at Leo.
Maybe...
This arrangement wouldn't only help Leo.
Maybe it would help him, too.
He hadn't made up his mind yet.
But for the first time since Leo had spoken...
He found himself genuinely considering it.
Outside, the campus clock chimed ten o'clock.
---
The fountain continued to murmur somewhere behind them.
A breeze stirred the branches overhead, sending a handful of amber leaves drifting lazily across the stone path between their feet.
Sangwon looked down at one of them as it landed near the toe of his shoe.
He wasn't entirely sure what he'd expected Leo to ask when he'd asked for a private conversation.
Certainly not this.
Fake dating.
The idea sounded like something out of the romance novels Junseo occasionally forced him to read "for educational purposes."
Ridiculous.
Impractical.
Strangely convincing.
He folded his hands together in his lap, thinking.
Leo didn't interrupt him.
He simply waited.
The silence wasn't awkward.
It felt... respectful.
Sangwon appreciated that.
People often rushed to fill quiet moments.
Leo didn't.
Eventually, Sangwon looked back up.
"...How long?"
Leo blinked.
"What?"
"If we did this."
Sangwon spoke slowly, choosing each word carefully.
"How long would we have to pretend?"
For a second—
Leo simply stared at him.
Sangwon couldn't quite read the expression on his face.
Surprise, maybe.
Or confusion.
It disappeared almost as quickly as it had appeared.
"...I..."
Leo looked away, rubbing the back of his neck.
"I don't actually know."
Sangwon waited.
"I didn't really think that far."
"...You didn't?"
A small, embarrassed laugh escaped Leo.
"No."
Another pause.
"I honestly thought you'd say no."
Sangwon couldn't help smiling a little.
"...You seem very certain of that."
"I mean..."
Leo scratched the back of his neck again.
"It would've been the normal response."
"I guess."
Sangwon looked toward the path ahead.
It made sense.
Most people probably would have laughed.
Or assumed it was a joke.
He hadn't.
Not because he thought it was a particularly good idea.
Because he understood where it had come from.
Leo hadn't asked because he thought fake dating sounded fun.
He'd asked because he seemed to have run out of ideas.
That was different.
"...So?"
Sangwon asked quietly.
"A bit after your ex stops..."
Leo nodded immediately.
"We stop."
"And if he doesn't?"
A thoughtful silence settled between them.
"I suppose..."
Leo frowned slightly.
"We'd figure it out."
It wasn't a particularly satisfying answer.
It also sounded honest.
Sangwon preferred honest uncertainty over confident promises.
---
"What exactly would people have to believe?"
Leo looked at him.
"...Sorry?"
"If we're pretending."
Sangwon searched for the right wording.
"Would we just tell people?"
"Or..."
He hesitated.
"...Would we have to act differently?"
Leo considered the question.
"I think..."
"We'd probably have to eat together sometimes."
Sangwon nodded.
"That makes sense."
"And maybe..."
Leo looked vaguely uncomfortable.
"...Hold hands?"
Sangwon blinked once.
His ears warmed ever so slightly.
"...Probably."
"And maybe post a picture once in a while."
That made Sangwon pause longer.
"...A picture."
"Just one or two."
Leo quickly added,
"If you're okay with that."
Sangwon thought about it.
He didn't dislike photographs.
He simply didn't enjoy posting them.
People tended to notice.
Comment.
Speculate.
Exactly the things he tried to avoid.
Still...
One or two pictures didn't seem unbearable.
"I think..."
He answered honestly.
"I could manage that."
Leo nodded.
Neither of them said anything for a moment.
---
"What about our friends?"
Sangwon asked.
Leo looked at him.
"What about them?"
"I don't really like lying."
He'd said it almost absentmindedly.
Like it wasn't something he needed to explain.
"I don't think I could pretend in front of them."
Leo was quiet for a second.
Then he nodded.
"You don't have to."
Sangwon looked up.
"If you want to tell your friends the truth..."
Leo shrugged lightly.
"I don't mind."
"...Really?"
"Mhm."
"They're the ones who suggested it anyway."
Sangwon found himself unexpectedly relieved.
That had been bothering him more than he'd realized.
---
"I think..."
He looked down at his hands.
"If we did this..."
"We should be clear about something."
Leo waited.
"If either of us becomes uncomfortable..."
"We stop."
No questions.
No convincing.
No guilt.
Just...
Stop.
Leo nodded almost immediately.
"Yeah."
"I agree."
"And if one of us decides it isn't helping anymore..."
"We stop then too."
Another nod.
"Okay."
Sangwon smiled faintly.
That felt reasonable.
---
The conversation drifted into silence again.
Not because there was nothing left to say.
Because neither of them seemed in a hurry anymore.
The wind had grown colder.
Students were becoming increasingly scarce.
The campus always felt different after ten.
Like it belonged to the lights instead of the people.
Sangwon glanced at his watch.
"...It's getting late."
Leo followed his gaze.
"...Yeah."
Both of them stood.
Sangwon adjusted the strap of his tote bag on his shoulder.
The books inside shifted with a dull thud.
For a brief second, neither moved.
Then Sangwon spoke first.
"I'll think about it."
Leo looked at him.
Not expectantly.
Simply listening.
"I don't want to answer immediately."
"I'd rather..."
He searched for the right words.
"...Think properly first."
A small nod.
"Of course."
"I don't want you to feel pressured."
"I don't."
Sangwon answered truthfully.
"I just don't like making decisions quickly."
"...That sounds like you."
Sangwon smiled.
"...Does it?"
"A little."
They began walking toward the intersection where their dormitories split in opposite directions.
Neither felt the need to continue talking.
The quiet between them felt surprisingly easy.
As they reached the crossroads, they stopped.
"My dorm's this way," Sangwon said softly.
Leo pointed in the opposite direction.
"Mine too."
Another small silence.
Then Leo offered a smile.
"Goodnight, Sangwon."
"Goodnight."
Sangwon watched him walk away for only a second before turning toward his own residence hall.
By the time he reached the entrance, Leo was already gone.
---
His dorm room greeted him with familiar stillness.
His roommate was spending the night at a friend's apartment, leaving the room unusually quiet.
Sangwon preferred it that way.
He changed into comfortable clothes.
Put water on to boil.
Lined up tomorrow's books neatly on his desk.
Everything followed the same routine it always did.
Only...
His mind refused to.
He settled by the window with a mug of warm tea and opened the poetry collection he'd borrowed that morning.
His eyes moved across the page.
None of the words stayed.
After reading the same stanza four times, he sighed quietly and closed the book.
His thoughts wandered back to the bench.
To Leo's awkward proposal.
To the way he'd admitted he hadn't even expected Sangwon to consider it.
It was such a strange idea.
Pretending to date someone.
Holding hands.
Having lunch together more often.
Maybe taking pictures.
He tried imagining it.
The image felt oddly unreal.
Not unpleasant.
Just...
Difficult to picture.
He barely knew Leo outside of the group.
They'd spoken plenty over the past year, but almost always with other people around.
Could they really convince anyone?
Wouldn't it be obvious they were pretending?
He smiled to himself.
Then again...
People saw what they expected to see.
If two people spent enough time together, everyone else usually filled in the blanks themselves.
His thoughts drifted elsewhere.
To the countless awkward conversations he'd had over the past year.
To apologizing.
Always apologizing.
He hated disappointing people.
He hated watching hopeful expressions fall.
Even when he knew he'd done nothing wrong.
He finished his tea.
Turned off the lamp.
And went to bed.
---
The next morning unfolded exactly as every other morning did.
He arrived at the library before eight.
Junseo complained about waking up.
Sanghyeon had already completed next week's reading.
Anxin argued with a professor about an essay prompt before class had even started.
Normal.
Comfortable.
Predictable.
By lunchtime, Sangwon found himself crossing the central courtyard alone.
Junseo had gone to return a book.
The others had stayed behind to ask their professor a question.
The autumn sun was warmer than yesterday.
Students crowded the walkways between buildings.
Someone called his name.
"Sangwon."
He turned.
A student stood a few steps away.
The face looked vaguely familiar.
Perhaps he'd seen him in the library before.
The young man looked nervous.
Hands clasped tightly together.
"...Can I talk to you for a second?"
Sangwon's stomach sank.
Not because of the student.
Because he already knew.
Still...
He nodded politely.
"Of course."
The young man inhaled deeply.
"I know we don't really know each other..."
"...But I've seen you around campus for a while."
He laughed awkwardly.
"I was wondering..."
"...If maybe you'd like to get coffee sometime."
There it was.
Another confession.
Sangwon lowered his eyes.
For just a moment.
He wished—briefly, selfishly—that he didn't have to be the person saying no.
"I'm sorry."
His voice stayed gentle.
"I'm really flattered."
"But I don't think that's a good idea."
The student nodded almost immediately.
Too quickly.
As though he'd expected the answer.
"I understand."
He forced a smile.
"Sorry."
"You don't need to apologize."
"It's okay."
But it clearly wasn't.
After another polite goodbye, the student walked away.
His shoulders seemed just a little lower than before.
Sangwon remained where he was.
Watching him disappear into the crowd.
A familiar feeling settled heavily in his chest.
Guilt.
Unnecessary.
Unfair.
Yet impossible to avoid.
He resumed walking.
Slowly.
Without really paying attention to where he was going.
How many times had this happened this semester?
Seven?
Eight?
He'd stopped counting.
Every single time ended the same way.
Someone gathered enough courage to confess.
He rejected them as kindly as he could.
They smiled.
Said they understood.
Then walked away looking hurt anyway.
He couldn't blame them.
That almost made it worse.
By the time he reached the library steps, one thought had quietly settled in the back of his mind.
If people believed I already had someone...
The confessions would stop.
Not forever.
Just for a while.
Long enough to breathe.
Long enough not to dread hearing his own name called across campus.
He sat on the stone steps outside the library.
Pulled out his phone.
Leo's name sat near the top of his recent messages.
His thumb hovered over the screen.
He didn't type anything.
Not yet.
Instead, he slipped the phone back into his pocket.
He'd made his decision.
He simply wanted one more day to sit with it.
Tomorrow...
He would tell Leo yes.