Chapter Text
“He misses you, you know.” Mira’s voice seemed to caress the wind as it softly blew.
The tea had gone cold, conversation had carried them from the well wishes from others to the most recent way Ridoc had played on Mira’s nerves, having him in her line of command seemed to frustrate Mira to a different end entirely, and now they were at the inevitable conversation that took place with everyone she spoke to.
“I had no idea, he had finally managed to endear himself to you to the point of sharing feelings” I was expecting a soft knock on my bricked shields at any given moment, he was like clockwork. Once in the morning, once around noon, and twice in the evening. An annoying habit that I’ve surrendered to.
“The Shadow Wielder wouldn't be doing that if you had bothered to let him understand,” Tairn decided to point out. I couldn’t let myself give an answer. He knows this is a weak argument we’ve had time and time again.
Mira averted her gaze, instead to face out into the sunset, the porch chairs creaking slightly, “You know it's not like that,” she took a sip from her mug and continued, “He doesn’t say anything, but it's clear as day, in every word he speaks, every decision he makes, every step he takes. He’s drowning in himself.” She let the words float for a beat. “It's not fair, Violet.”
My breath stuttered as it always did when he became a topic of consideration, “I’m not having this conversation today”
“I know”
“Okay”
“Okay” Mira agreed, attempting to withdraw the topic, she knew better. This was a never ending war in my head. She knew. She knew and still continued pulling the thread that would be my undoing. I always assumed that the day I would leave Xaden was the day Mira would finally breathe in peace. That peace lasted less than a week and now even five years later she wouldn’t seem to quit it.
We sat in silence. It wasn’t loud but it was aware. Everything unsaid was floating in the space of my porch, the small lights lit up as dusk settled. Objectively I knew that it would hurt. But I wasn’t ready to realize that along with forever changing the relationship that Xaden and I shared, it would also irrevocably change my friendships and bonds I had with everyone else. But I needed space. I was tired. So much happened and I had so little time to genuinely process what was going on. I couldn't take it anymore. I did my duties and left and it seems that to everyone, other than a select few, I had simply abandoned them.
“They wouldn’t think that if you told them why” Andarna’s voice of reason softly echoed
“How’s Drake?” A peace offering, the silence was starting to invite thoughts that weren’t best to ponder on.
Mira had a sudden look in her eye, offering a wry smile she spoke, “That’s actually one of the reasons I came to see you.” Mira had surprised me, she had flown in out of the blue and although she and Teine were always welcome, a warning didn’t hurt. The cottage was an absolute mess.
She reached for her small pack and pulled out a tiny dark velvet box.
“No.” I whispered.
“Yes” her eyes started to glisten. In the blink of an eye I was on top of her. Embracing her for dear life.
“Violet, I can’t breathe” She stuttered out.
“And I don't care” I continued to squeeze the life out of her. Letting go for a minute, “You’ve been here all day and you’re telling me now.” and we were back to hugging the shit out of each other. “This is insane, this is incredible, I’m so happy for you. What the hell, Mira.”
I finally let go and just stared. Objectively this wasn’t at all a surprise. Drake worshipped the ground my sister walked on, he was what kept her stable throughout the war. If a point ever came he would, without a doubt lay down his own life for Mira. He was perfect for her. This was amazing. It was times like these I wished I hadn’t left Aretia. I miss my people.
And just like that two knocks on her wall. Amazing timing Xaden always had.
I heard a chuff, sounding almost a chuckle from Tairn in the corner of her mind.
“You’ll be there won’t you” Mira had started to ramble, It took a minute to understand what she was saying.
“Of course, I wouldn’t ever miss it,” Mira leveled me with a look. My heart broke. It had become almost a known fact in recent years, Violet Sorrengail had a habit of canceling at the last minute. In the past five years, I had maybe seen my Squad and what remained of the family maybe seven times, four of which were at the cottage.
“This is different, I promise you, I won’t let you down Mira.”
“Okay”
They continued on for a while, the miniscule details of the whole affair, when they decided to call it a night. Dusk had long since settled as they made their way inside the quaint little cottage. The objectively beautiful cottage looked horrific because of the mess, Mira wisely choosing not to comment on it, made her way to the stairs and to the guest room, yelling a loud "Night".
Now alone,I took a look around Books lined the walls of the living room from top to bottom in a disarray, a brown couch that had seen better days with a blanket messily rolled up in the side of it. On the opposite end was a small kitchen, it was open and had a storm grey counter, matching the ends of my hair. It was painful to admit that the cottage was all thanks to the new king of Navarre, Halden owed a favor, this was the least he could’ve done for me after saving his life.
It sat close to a small village, where General Sorrengail had once been stationed, the village being the last place I could remember all five of us living as a family. Dad would be at the nearby temple reading, researching, and leaving me to my own devices, letting me explore to my heart's desire, at the end of the day we would all come back and eat dinner together, Mom whispering to Dad in hushed voices the gossip she’d heard in the nearby outpost, Brennan, Mira, and I conveniently pretending we couldn’t hear. Back when it all made sense, before Brennan was gone, before Dad was dead, before Mom became General Sorrengail, before she died.
Before the lies and deceit. Before Violet Sorrengail became the Duchess of Tyrrendor.