Archive of Our Own

Sungho glared at the cake that was inconveniently placed right in his line of sight. Chocolate flavour, chocolate cream decorations and, worst of all, two candles placed right on top of it. 32.

"Did Taesan's birthday cake brutally murder your entire family or something?", Jaehyun joked next to him.

Sungho sighed.

"Something like that."

The source of his sour mood (or of most of Sungho's problems really), Han Taesan, was currently at the door, greeting whichever one of their friends would be the third guest to make it to his birthday party.

Jaehyun chuckled at the dramatic response and lightly patted Sungho on the shoulder. An act of encouragement. He was a good friend, even whilst he was laughing at the other's misery.

To this day, Sungho had no clue why he had agreed. Even then, he had been well aware that he was making a deal with the devil.

A devil so impishly handsome, one might have thought the heavens had sent him. Might. Sungho knew better.

Well, in theory at least.

Music had been blaring too loudly everywhere. There had been way too many people in that building, the smell of alcohol harassing his nose, and the air quality had been horrendous. Sungho should have hated it.

Under any other circumstances, he most likely would have. However, he had a hard time being mad about it when a freshly 17-year old Taesan had grabbed his hand out of nowhere in the middle of a conversation with some random people and pulled him far away from it all. A younger version of Sungho had been dragged through corridors, up some stairs and out onto a weird mix between balcony and rooftop.

As per usual, the older had had a ton of questions — one look at his friend's gleaming eyes and mischievous smirk had been enough to make them all disappear. Not because he had received any answers, his mind would just go fully blank whenever Taesan had looked at him like this.

And maybe that had played a role in why he had agreed back then…

They had chatted for a bit, laughed together as always and then Han Taesan had suggested the most absurd thing Sungho had ever heard in his entire life.

It would be him. Although their whole friend group was crazy in some way, no one could quite match the dark haired's level of insanity.

All of Sungho's other cells had been begging the neurons in his frontal lobe to just do their job. Do the one thing they were supposed to excel at. Be reasonable. Say "no".

Unfortunately, the frontal lobe takes longer than most other parts of the brain to finish developing. At almost 18 years of age, it had not quite been there yet. Hopelessly infatuated with the other boy and still too young to stand a chance against his puppy (kitty??) eyes, Sungho had searched eye contact with Taesan.

He had needed to evaluate the seriousness of the proposal at hand, he had owed himself that much common sense at least. When he had found no hints of insincerity on his friend's face, he had shrugged.

"Sure."

Not like it's ever going to happen anyway.

The blinding grin he had received in response had almost made it seem like a normal answer. Like he hadn't just made an insane life choice with a huge potential to come back and bite him in the ass a few years down the line.

Everything was fine. Sungho would be okay.

There was a solid chance he didn't even remember. Sungho had been wondering for years if he did. If they had been drunk that day. If his own brain had simply hallucinated the whole thing. It was possible!

Preferable, even.

The train of thought was interrupted when Taesan re-entered the room, animatedly chatting with his best friend Leehan, arm casually slung over the other's shoulders.

Me when?

It no longer startled him to have these thoughts. Sungho had accepted it. He pushed them aside, elegantly ignored the ugly waves of jealousy and put on his best fake smile.

"Leehanie, hi! Good to see you!", he greeted warmly. Hugs were exchanged and soon enough, the whole group had gathered and they found themselves deeply engaged in a conversation about what they had missed in each other's lives recently. There was lots of teasing each other, sharing silly stories and the feeling of coming back home after a long trip abroad. These five were Sungho's family. They always would be.

As much as he had dreaded this age for the past years, he would not want to experience it all with anyone else.

Woonhak had yet another new job, Leehan had a trip to the aquarium with some work colleagues planned, Riwoo was considering proposing to his long term partner soon, Jaehyun had told them all about his upcoming tour and Taesan had showed them a beat he was working on.

Was there anything interesting happening in Sungho's life? Not really.

His thoughts had been revolving around the same person they always came back to. He was dreading his own birthday. Maybe he should get a cat soon. That might be nice.

As the night went on, they played some drinking games here and there before going out to karaoke. It was tradition; whenever there was a birthday, there would be karaoke.

A few songs in, Sungho decided to grace his lungs with some fresh air. It felt replenishing, his whole body gratefully welcoming the bursts of new energy. Suddenly, the door opened next to him. There was no need to check who it was.

"So, Hyung…"

Sungho's heartbeat sped up automatically. Something else he was used to already.

"You didn't mention dating anyone…", Taesan continued, curiousity evident in his voice.

If the roles were reversed, the other would have said something like: "Are you interested in me? Why are you so invested in my love life?".

They were not reversed. Sungho took a deep breath and followed it up with a silent prayer.

"Because I'm not."

Silence.

The older cautiously glanced over at his crush as he was being uncharacteristically quiet. Catlike eyes met his own, gaze intense.

"I was hoping you would say that."

Then, Taesan smiled. A real smile. Not one of his mischievous smirks or sarcastic grins. His pretty lips curved up into a soft expression of happiness.

Sungho thought he might die. So much of the songwriter's unfiltered affection directed right at him was dangerous for his already fragile heart. Five seconds later, he was alone again.

What the fuck.

There was only one way to process whatever the hell the friend group's oldest member had just experienced.

"IT'S RAINING ALLLLL DAAAAAAYYY~!!"

Perfect 100. Still got it, baby.

Riwoo cleared his throat.

"You know, sometimes I genuinely wonder why Jaehyun is the only one going on tours. With a voice like that, you should honestly be famous too, Sungho."

The latter inevitably started blushing at the compliment, shy from getting praised like this.

"Thanks, Riwoo."

They stood in comfortable silence for a bit until the birthday boy himself grabbed the second microphone from Woonhak's hands and started a new song.

"Hyung, we're singing a duet!"

If anyone else was also extremely caught off guard by the song choice, Sungho had to applaud them for their acting skills.

now playing: Obsession (with TEN of WayV) - Minnie

"You're ridiculous."

Leehan stared at him with the intensity of someone who was beyond tired of Taesan and his bullshit. He probably was.

"I have no idea what you're talking about."

He crossed his arms.

"Riwoo is basically an engaged man.", Leehan reasoned.

"So am I! Kind of…"

His best friend raised an eyebrow at him.

"Han Taesan, I have met many delusional people over the course of my life. But you seriously take the cake.", he commented, "don't smile like that, it's not a compliment."

Sometimes, Leehan looked at his best friend and questioned his own judgement. Out of everyone he knew, he chose that guy?

"Donghyunie, he said he's single. I asked!", the other exclaimed excitedly.

Of course he had. This idiot…

"Right, because I'm sure Sungho remembers that stupid agreement from 15 years ago where he said he would marry you if you're both still single at 33. You didn't even give the poor guy time to properly think about it before answering. Plus it was a party… Do you honestly believe he was thinking straight?", Leehan reasoned.

His best friend was immune to all reason. Smirking, he went: "Well, I sure hope he wasn't. No man should be having any straight thoughts when looking at me."

All he got in response was an exasperated groan and the sound of Leehan's head hitting the table. There was something so absurd about the concept of his best friend and the guy he has been crushing on forever having some kind of marriage pact, that Leehan had written it off as a prank when Taesan had first told him about it.

No way THE Park Sungho would agree to something so ridiculous, not even when drunk. Sungho was that one friend who had always had his life together. The guy had had plans for his future at 14, actually went through with them and was living the life he had always been telling them he would. No reroutes, no hesitation, no changes of mind.

It was scary how well-adjusted he was. Park Sungho had been a fully functional adult, almost the entire time Leehan had known him for.

That was precisely why it seemed impossible for him to choose to play Taesan's stupid games. He knew better. Sometimes Leehan thought his best friend's vivid imagination must have made up the conversation. There was zero reason for Sungho, who was surrounded by stability, to give that up in such a major area of his life.

At the very least he liked men. Two of his exes were male. Both older than Sungho, one accountant and one law student. They were completely opposite from Taesan. Overly serious, mature, in bed by 22:00, one of them even played golf... Leehan had never seen the appeal.

After Sungho's most recent breakup around four years prior with a beautiful slightly older woman who worked as a project manager, he had stopped dating. Said he was not interested in meeting new people.

Since then, he had seemed content with just his friends and his job.

Sungho loved his job. He really did.

Being a kindergarten teacher was exhausting 110% of the time, but it was a rewarding job. Seeing the little ones grow as time passed, witnessing their rapid development and how their personalities took more shape every day was unlike anything else he had ever experienced. It was magical.

What Sungho didn't love was that a bunch of the kids that were currently in his care had decided Taesan was his boyfriend. They had seen his lockscreen one morning, after him and his friends had celebrated Woonhak's birthday together, gotten drunk and decided to play truth or dare. Someone must have dared Sungho to change his lockscreen to his crush the night before; he didn't remember. But there it was.

Taesan's infuriatingly handsome face was smiling cockily back at him. It felt like he was taunting him. The kindergarten teacher groaned exasperatedly and dragged a hand over his face, which led the children to believe they had caught him. In a way, they had. So, Sungho was forced to endure not a couple of hours, not a couple of days, not even a couple of weeks, but already many months of their ruthless questioning.

What was his boyfriend's name?

- He was not his boyfriend.

Didn't matter. What was his name?

Sungho could have just made one up. He hadn't felt like it.

- Taesan.

Well, technically it was Dongmin, but nobody had called him that since his early childhood days. Since before he had decided that "Taesan" sounded way cooler.

Did he not have a last name?

- He did.

What was his last name?

- None of their business.

One kid yelled: "It's okay, we can call him Park Taesan. Don't you think it sounds so pretty?" Everyone else had agreed. Sungho had sighed.

Had he ever seen him naked?

Sungho had choked on air. He wasn't sure actually. Not that he would tell them that. He also refused to think about it too much.

- No???

What was his not-boyfriend's job?

- He made music.

Chaos had ensued at that. The volume had risen unbearably. He had had to promise them to play them one of Taesan's songs to get them to quiet down again.

Sungho had questioned all of his life decisions and turned on his favourite one of the other's songs. Over The Moon.

He had almost wanted to laugh, because the moment the first note had started, you could have heard a needle drop in the room. The kindergarteners had all sat down somewhere, listening intently. Of course, it was other people singing the song - Taesan was a music producer not an idol, but Sungho could feel his presence through all of it. The beat was so him. The rhythm, too. Even the adlibs seemed to carry Taesan's fingerprint in them.

Subconsciously, he had started smiling and singing along to some parts he particularly liked. Of course, the kids had done everything but react normally. One girl had seemed especially smitten with the song, not even joining everyone else's teasing of how Sungho was totally in love with the guy who had written it. She had always been one of his favourites.

These days, the kids only sometimes asked about Taesan. But they somehow managed to always catch him off guard with it. They must have developed some kind of superpowers to sense whenever Sungho was starting to feel like they might have forgotten about it, times where he spoke a bit more carelessly and moved with a bit less thought.

He also should have changed that stupid lockscreen. There was no reason to keep it, but somehow he did. It was a good picture. His friend looked beautiful in a way no man should.

Maybe he had kept it because he liked looking at Taesan. There was something grounding about his stupid smug face.

There were important choices in life. As kids slowly grew into adults, they would have to learn to make more and more of those choices on their own. Sometimes, Taesan still struggled with it.

It was a Friday afternoon and he was glaring at the selection of vegetables in front of him as if they had personally offended him.

Should've just decided to have convenience store ramen for dinner…

But nooo, his best friend Leehan had somehow talked Taesan into having a healthy dinner at least twice a week. So there he was, at a local market, shopping for groceries.

He was about to reach for some tomatoes when he felt a shift in the atmosphere around him, someone was watching. Then, he heard their voice.

"Mum! Mum! This guy over there. I know him!", a high pitched voice squealed excitedly.

Taesan was puzzled. Sometimes people recognised him for his work, sure. Generally, he lived a quiet and peaceful fame though. The only people who really knew the face behind some of k-pop's biggest hits in recent times were people in the industry.

From what Taesan could tell, the girl was in elementary school at best. She seemed extremely young. So how and why would she know him? Did he have a niece he had forgotten about?

Impossible. Taesan loved them too much to ever forget about one of them.

"Oh, really, my dear? How do you know him?", her mother asked, an amused smile on her face. The little girl leaned in as if she was about to tell her mum the biggest secret.

She whispered - well, attempted to: "His name is Taesan. He's Sungho-teacher's boyfriend!"

Then she giggled, as if she hadn't just tilted Taesan's entire world off axis, and added a delighted: "The others will be so jealous that I ran into him and they didn't."

The kids at Sungho's work knew about him. He must have talked about Taesan. That was cool. The songwriter felt very normal about that information. Your average Friday discovery.

Even more so, they somehow knew him as Sungho's boyfriend. As far as Taesan knew, they were only boyfriends in his wildest dreams, not during daytime in the streets of Seoul. Before he could stress about the matter further, there was a slight tap on his leg.

"Excuse me, sir? Do you happen to be Mr. Taesan?", the girl inquired.

There was something terribly endearing about the overly polite way she spoke, and the tall man couldn't help but smile at her warmly.

"That would be me, little madam. And you are?"

The young girl laughed at the way she was addressed, then introduced herself as Minju before asking the question Taesan had been waiting for: "You're Sungho-teacher's boyfriend, right?"

Somehow, he still felt unprepared even though he had anticipated the situation. Hopeful sparkling eyes were one of his biggest weaknesses. He hummed noncommittally in response.

"Did hyung tell you guys about me?"

Minju nodded, smiling brightly at Taesan.

"Actually, we saw his lock screen one day. So we asked about who that is. At first he tried to tell us that you're not his boyfriend, but when he played your song for us he totally blushed! He was really into it, too! Sung along and all."

Right, his lock screen.

The picture of himself Taesan had once dared Sungho to change his lock screen to. He must have been out of his mind. At least, it was probably a good picture of him. Taesan would never accept a subpar picture of himself as someone's lock screen, no matter how inebriated he was. He would have expected Sungho to change it back after leaving the party, though. It was Park Sungho after all. The man with a perfectly structured life who had it all under control.

"Which one did he play for you?", Taesan asked. He was curious. Which one of his songs would Sungho deem suitable for such an audience?

The answer was immediate: "Over The Moon! He said it's his favourite."

Taesan grinned. It was one of his personal favourites too. Inspired by Sungho, of course. Just like almost his entire discography. Usually, he would have bitten his tongue, ignored the first thought that came to mind and instead said something more thoughtful like: "Oh, I really like that one, too! What did you think about it?"

If Sungho could leave a bunch of kindergarteners in the belief that he and Taesan were dating, he could also just speak his mind. This was possibly the only chance to casually talk like they were truly together that he would get in this lifetime.

"I'm glad he likes it. It's about him."

Minju squealed, overjoyed.

"Eeeeeeek!! I knew it!!! The lyrics are sooo romantic. Sungho-teacher is lucky. I wish someone wrote songs about how great I am, too." She was so adorable. Taesan's heart was melting.

"I'm sure someone will, Miss Minju. Maybe you'll have to wait for a while. Maybe you'll never know those lyrics are about you. But I'm 100% certain you're going to end up as someone's muse one day. You have that spark in you.", the music producer told her.

That seemed to catch her attention.

"Does Sungho teacher have that spark, too?"

What a silly question.

Taesan barely thought about it. "If you ask other people, they would probably say yes. I personally think it's a lot more than a spark. To me, Sungho-hyung has fireworks. Warm, beautiful fireworks that can be seen from anywhere in the entire world. No matter how far away I am from him, whenever I think about him, I feel it again."

The little girl seemed pleased with that and ranted a bit more about how cute the two of them were together.

"Mr. Taesan, what's your lock screen?", she asked out of nowhere.

Now that was a great question. Despite what one might have assumed, it actually was a picture of Taesan's mum and his sister. He suddenly understood why Sungho had stopped fighting the dating allegations. There was no way he could disappoint this tiny angel.

"It's a picture of Sungho-hyung, of course!", he lied. He realised his mistake soon after.

"Ooooohhhh! Show me, show me, show me!!", Minju replied.

Taesan panicked and made up some lie about forgetting his phone at home. Luckily for him, Minju's mother had become impatient with her daughter and called her back soon after. Phew.

Still a bit in shock, he finished getting groceries and went home quickly to avoid any further encounters with kids from Sungho's class. Sometimes he forgot how scary kids could be. Sungho was so strong.

2 new notifications

[Han Taesanie]

hey my sexy boyfriend

minju seems nice

Sungho almost dropped his phone. He had to do a double-take to make sure he had read that correctly. Then again, he was pretty sure his own mind could have never conjured up such a horrifying combination of words. So Taesan knew.

He sighed.

Realistically, he should have seen it coming. One of the kids was bound to run into him someday or come across him in some other way. His crush was fairly famous after all.

The part that worried Sungho was that he had no idea how much Minju had told his alleged boyfriend about their "relationship". And the fact that he had no clue how Taesan had reacted. It was better not to think about that, knowing his friend. The possibilities ranged from acting as if he had never met a Sungho in his life to getting her opinion on fake proposal plans and rings; you never knew with Han Taesan.

Sungho sighed.

[Han Taesanie]

oh my god

im so sorry

kids are so terribly nosy

i didn't know how to tell them

hyung, breathe

first of all, taesan is fine

no need to call me your god ;)

although i'm flattered

That one made Sungho roll his eyes. He was insufferable.

[Han Taesanie]

second of all

it's fine, really

i've met her myself

i get it

they have a way of making you say things you usually really wouldn't

yeah 😭😭

most certainly

so don't worry too much beautiful

i'll gladly be your boyfriend ;)

im gonna block u omfg

see you at home then my sweetie darling ♡

It was times like this when Sungho wondered if Taesan had any other hobbies besides making music and being unnecessarily flirtatious. His heart could only take so much of it. The tips of his ears were burning and he was sure his cheeks resembled tomatoes. He wanted to shake Taesan and yell at him to just be his boyfriend then. That if it was so easy, then he should just kiss him.

Being a rational person had held him back from doing so for the past decade.

It was fine. Taesan had given him official consent to be called his boyfriend. Whatever. If only Sungho could get the image of them living together that the younger's last message had planted out of his head.

"So now your lockscreen is Sungho-hyung…? Because you're scared of some four-year-olds?"

Leehan looked amused; Taesan entirely was not.

"YOU SHOULD HAVE MET HER, LEEHAN! Kids are so scary, I don't know how hyung does this every single day."

His best friend laughed good-naturedly. He had invited himself over for a joint meal and some silly bickering. What he had not expected was Taesan's story time about his mortifying run-in with one of Sungho's students. Somehow, it was one of the most Taesan things that could have happened.

"He's a bit better at establishing boundaries than the average person. And socially competent, you know.", the fake-blond reasoned.

The music producer frowned: "What's that supposed to mean?"

"Exactly what you think it means."

Before he could get too pouty, Leehan decided to change topics and ask about the other's recent projects. Talking about music always got him to forget about everything else. Like an off-switch for when Taesan was spiralling too much about something. It was quite practical.

However, there was one thing that stood out to Leehan about the whole situation. Sungho WAS good at setting boundaries and managing the kids. He had once mentioned a different group of kindergarteners thinking he was dating his friend who had come to visit his work since they were supposed to get dinner together after. Back then, he had laughed and cleared up the misunderstanding to the kids immediately. It had taken barely a week before they had forgotten about the whole situation.

Interesting.

Leehan preferred to keep the observation to himself in protection of Taesan's heart, but there was something odd about it.

The evening dipped into something closer to what he had pictured when he had knocked on the other's door earlier that day. Shared laughs, stolen food and a bunch of stupid jokes. Apparently, Taesan was getting a chance to work with Jaehyun soon. He expressed his contentment over likely seeing their mutual friend more often for a bit.

Part of Leehan was jealous. He would also like to see Jaehyun more frequently. Ideally every morning after waking up and every evening before falling asleep. Sadly, that was not an option.

"That sounds so nice. I just know you'll make the biggest hit together. Jaehyunie-hyung will break some records for sure.", Leehan said instead. He was genuinely excited for the result.

They ended up watching some cliché romance movie as a joke. If both of them cried at the end, neither of them would ever bring it up. The movie had been unexpectedly good, that had been all there was to it.

It was Monday morning, and for the first time since meeting the sweet little girl, Sungho was dreading seeing Minju. She was curious, talkative and almost always in a good mood. Seeing her usually made Sungho's day. However, she was also definitely going to bring up meeting Taesan within the first ten minutes of kindergarten, and everyone would start grilling him again.

Begrudgingly, Sungho got ready for work and walked a bit slower than his actual pace, dragging his feet slightly. He did some breathing exercises to mentally prepare himself. The first kids started being brought in by their caretakers. Then he heard Minju's bright voice, blabbering happily to probably her dad since he was the one who took her to kindergarten most days.

She was two steps into the room when she spotted Sungho.

"TEACHER!! I missed you so much! Did you know that I ran into your boyfriend last week?", Minju chatted away.

Sungho laughed and let himself be hugged by the little girl.

"I missed you too, Minju-mouse. And yeah, he told me about that. He was super surprised that you recognised him."

Minju grinned before continuing: "Sungho-teacher, your boyfriend is so nice. He said his song is about you and he's happy you like it. And that someday people will probably write songs about me too! Because I have a spark!"

No acting lessons in the world could have given Sungho the skills to hide his surprise.

"He said what? Are you sure he meant it like that?", he asked, wanting to make sure he had heard her correctly.

"Mr. Taesan said Over The Moon is about you! When I asked him if you had the spark too, he got all sappy and said you had way more than just a spark. That you had fireworks and brought warmth to him that he could feel anywhere if he only thought of you. He's so poetic. I want a boyfriend like that too.", Minju recalled. Sungho sat down.

He thought he might pass out. No one had ever described him as anything remotely similar to that. Was Taesan that good of an actor?

Well, his job required him to be good with words. But to come up with something like this on the spot? It was impressive. It was making Sungho's heart race. Dangerous.

"I agree with him. You definitely have that spark, love. What did you do this weekend?", he responded, trying to ignore the little explosions in his stomach. So much for fireworks.

[bnd adults]

guys do you have time this evening

i need to talk to someone

im going insane

Lee Riwoo: yes ofc

Lee Riwoo: are you okay tho

physically im just fine

everything else tbd

Myung Jaehyun: I can move a meeting

thank u so much guys

Myung Jaehyun: Anything for you Yeppi <3

Lee Riwoo: jaehyun…

Myung Jaehyun: Right. Not the time

Myung Jaehyun: My bad

Despite it all, Sungho was incredibly grateful to the two of them. This stupid marriage pact thing had been bothering him for far too long and yet he had never told anyone. Out of fear of being judged or sounding too stupid to be taken seriously, probably both.

He had reached his limit. The flirting he could deal with. Even the drunk confessions. But hearing his favourite student recite the most romantically beautiful words to him like this? It was too much. There was no reason for Taesan to be doing all that. Sungho's own birthday was approaching rapidly. He could not do this anymore.

So when the three of them were gathered in Sungho's cozy living room that evening, everything spilled out of him all at once.

"Do you remember my last ex?"

Jaehyun nodded: "Soojin, right? The project manager? Kick-ass lady with her life together and slightly questionable working hours?"

"Yeah, her. When we broke up, she told me: "No offense, I know you like me, and you're trying your best and I honestly like you too, but I don't think this will work out. I like working too much. And I mean this in the nicest way possible, since I don't think you know it yet: you're in love with your friend Taesan. You're a good person, Sungho. I know you'll find happiness. So, I hope you'll start searching for it in the right places. I'm not upset at all, and I hope we can remain friends. If you ever need a lavender marriage or a fake date for a wedding you would dread attending alone, you can always hit me up. You're a very easy person to be with, and I have zero regrets about this relationship. I simply think it's better to end it here and face the truth. My truth is that I'm not meant to be with someone. Not right now. Yours… well, that's for you to figure out." and I thought it was ridiculous.

But then, the longer I lived as a single, the more I realised that she's right. I AM in love with Taesan. More absurd than that, I have been in love with him for so long that I didn't even realise it. I dated other people, thinking it might be them for me, when this whole entire time… It has always been him that I wanted. Eventually, I could accept that. But mine and Taesan's history is a bit messier than you know. Jae, the real reason I was glaring at his birthday cake is that we made a stupid marriage pact back when we were 17. If we're both still single by 33, we get married.

The issue is, I don't know if he remembers it. I don't even know if it really happened. And I also don't know if that means when I turn 33 or when HE turns 33. And then at his birthday party, he basically asked me if I was single and had such a weirdly happy reaction when I told him I am.

Also, we've kissed like three different times while drunk without being prompted to. No one asked us to do it. I just wanted to kiss him. ", Sungho confessed.

Riwoo and Jaehyun shared a look.

"Oh, Sungho… come here."

They both went to hug him and expressed their sympathy. Some of the words that were clearly meant to soothe the kindergarten teacher reminded him of the whole reason he began crashing out in the first place.

"Wait, there's more.", he interrupted his friends.

Jaehyun raised an eyebrow: "What else could there possibly be besides a whole marriage pact?"

"You've barely heard half of it, Jae…", Sungho started.

The story had left his two friends speechless. Riwoo was staring at him with a look Sungho had never seen on his face before. It was unsettling.

Jaehyun was laughing maniacally, there was a hint of utter disbelief to it.

"So, you're telling me your class thinks you're dating him, you still haven't changed your lockscreen, he KNOWS they think you're dating and he's humouring them too? And writing spontaneous poetry about you?"

Spelled out like this, it really did seem insane. Sungho felt a bit ashamed, but nodded sagely.

"Yeah, basically…"

The two of them stayed for a bit longer to comfort him and offer Sungho some advice, but ultimately they were all working adults who had to get up at some point, so they eventually left.

Sungho felt better, lighter. Finally someone knew. He could talk to someone. They had not even judged him much, just been there for him. How lucky he was to have friends like Riwoo and Jaehyun.

A few days after that, Leehan found himself at lunch with Riwoo. The invitation had come as a surprise to him since they didn't hang out much just the two of them, but who was Leehan to decline a free lunch with one of his most chill hyungs?

He was picking up a fry to dip into his vanilla milkshake when Riwoo brought up the marriage pact. It should have shocked him less than it actually did; Sungho had good reason to talk to someone about it, and Riwoo WAS one of the people in their friend group that they went to for advice. For good reason.

"I guess I just want to make sure he's actually serious about this. About Sungho. He really likes Taesan, you know.", Riwoo explained.

Leehan nodded slowly. Fair enough.

"He really likes Taesan"

Maybe his best friend was less delusional than Leehan had thought. Good for him.

"You're a good friend, hyung. But I promise you there's nothing to worry about. If there is anything in this world he's serious about, then it's Sungho-hyung.", he responded.

The slightest hint of a smile appeared on the other's face.

"I'm glad. We both know Taesan's reputation, and I genuinely do not have it in me to see Sungho go through another breakup. The last one was bad enough…"

Many emotions flooded through Leehan upon hearing those sentences. Subconsciously, he furrowed his eyebrows, offended on behalf of his best friend.

Riwoo could not possibly have known, however, Leehan had experienced a good chunk of every single one of Sungho's breakups himself in the form of Taesan. Every tiny crack in Sungho's heart had left a scar on his best friend's heart too, because entirely unlike his playboy reputation, he cared so deeply it was beyond Leehan's comprehension.

"Sorry to be so blunt, Riwoo-hyung, but never speak about my best friend like that ever again.", his voice was calm, level. It left no room for discussion.

"Do you know the reason why he never got into a stable relationship? Why he instead would sometimes go hook up with strangers years ago instead of committing to one person?

I get why you would think what you think; I do. But you're judging him harshly and most unfairly. Taesan is actually the most committed person I know. I have told this guy to move on and try going on dates with other people more times than I can count over these past fifteen years. FIFTEEN. Can you imagine that?

The amount of times I've called him delusional, and he has just shrugged at me, that stupid lovesick smile on his face, going "We'll see who's delusional when him and I get married in a few years."

Riwoo-hyung, the first ten songs of his discography quite literally spell out Sungho-hyung's name.", he defended his best friend. There were many things he was willing to just let slide, but he would not stand for such an unfair mischaracterisation of Taesan. The guy was many things, but unloyal most certainly wasn't one of them.

At that, a long silence followed. Then:

"Pretty Thing, All Eyes On You… Kiss Me If You Can?", Riwoo quietly recounted.

"Rock With You, then Kiss Me If You Can", his friend corrected.

"Ah, thanks! Sorry, I Love You, U + Me = <3, Needless To Say,, …"

It was touching that Riwoo remembered so much of it at all. Leehan didn't blame him for struggling a little.

"Gorgeous, Home and then Over The Moon. P A R K S U N G H O. The guy is hopeless. Always has been.", he finished for Riwoo, smiling fondly at how seriously down bad his best friend was.

This loser.

Suddenly, some of Leehan's earliest memories of their friendship came up.

They had met on the first day of middle school, Leehan entering this new era of his life with one good friend from his primary school class. Or well, so he had thought.

They had walked into the new classroom side by side, a foolish younger version of himself anticipating that they would sit together. Because why wouldn't they?

Well, apparently because his friend had another friend he had been closer with. That he had sat with instead. They had been some of the last people to enter the room by the curtesy of living somewhat far away and having a bus that was kind of cutting it close, so there hadn't been many free seats left. Leehan had walked up to a desk with a dark-haired boy in dark clothes sitting alone, head rested on his palms. He had resonated with his mood.

"Hi, is this seat taken?", he had asked timidly whilst bowing. His parents had raised no rascal.

The other boy had lifted his head to bow at him lightly, and tiny Leehan had caught the slightest hint of a smile on his face.

"Hey! No, you can sit."

And so he had sat down, placed his bag on the floor and started taking out his pencil case. After he was done, he had turned his head to the right to find the other boy's curious eyes resting on him. He hadn't seemed embarrassed by being caught staring, smirking instead and reaching out his hand in what young Leehan assumed to be an introduction: "Han Taesan."

Of course, he had shaken Taesan's hand in a manner that had felt weirdly official.

"Kim Leehan, nice to meet you."

The warmth he had felt in that moment had brought out the first real smile of that day in him. Thank you, Han Taesan.

Leehan giggled at the memory. He had been so lost back then, had assumed Taesan was so much cooler than him and felt such sincere gratitude towards him. Little did he know that guy would later on become the very bane of his existence. That he had been just as lonely as Leehan back then, and thankful to him for showing interest in becoming friends.

They had soon found out that they were born the same year, had a couple of common interests here and there, and that they would likely get along. In hindsight, it was funny how fast they had become close friends. Two kids who had been yearning for someone they could swap stories with, complain to about classes or even rant to about hallway crushes. And that was where Sungho had come in.

Taesan, interested in music as he always had been, had joined the music club. Shortly after the music club's first official meeting on a Friday afternoon, Leehan had found himself on a chair in front of Taesan's desk in his bedroom, snacking on some crackers the other's mum had offered them. That was the first time he had ever heard the name Park Sungho.

His best friend, who had been uncharacteristically antsy and chatty the whole time, was going on and on about this guy in music club.

"Leehanie, you don't get it. He's gorgeous. Like so beautiful. And his voice! Don't even get me started on his voice…"

(Younger Taesan did, in fact, get started on his voice. He also did not stop until Leehan interrupted him to ask a question.)

He had awkwardly cleared his throat before speaking: "Hey Taesan. I mean this in the least offensive way possible, but are you gay?"

Leehan didn't really care if he was; he had been questioning his own sexuality for a while and eventually given up on trying to find a label. It was just that he had been caught off guard by Taesan's behaviour.

Taesan had paused mid sungho-related sentence and stared at his friend, ears slowly turning an increasingly darker shade of red.

"I… never really thought about it.", he had admitted after a while. Saying it out loud had made him nervous to the point he had worried about his own heart rate.

How fast was "seriously dangerous fast"? What if Leehan hated him now? What if he wanted nothing to do with him anymore? Taesan couldn't live like that. Maybe he could go to conversion therapy? He would do it, anything to avoid losing his best friend. Possibly his only friend. Where might the closest facility b-

Leehan had had the audacity to laugh at him.

"Taesanie", he had called softly in between giggles, as if approaching a feral kitten, "Stop panicking, it's okay. You can be as gay or as straight or anything in between as you want, dumbass. You're my best friend. You. As a person.

I have no reason or intentions to change that depending on who you want to kiss. As your best friend, I'm just curious about any crushes of yours because I'm interested in your life. Annoying you about your love life is part of the job description, remember?"

And well, Park Sungho was now his love life. Somehow he had been ever since.

Taesan usually would have teased his best friend for his cheesy ass speech, however, it HAD lifted a ridiculous amount of weight off his shoulders, and he couldn't have hidden how touched he had felt if he had wanted to.

He had had no such plans. Before Leehan's brain had gotten a chance to process it, his body was being pressed tightly against Taesan's chest.

It had felt more like an attempt on his life than an affectionate hug, if Leehan was being honest. He knew the other well enough to see it for what it was: Unbridled feelings of relief, happiness, gratitude and platonic love in the most uncoordinated way one could have possibly expressed them.

His heart had swelled up in his chest, and the smile on younger Leehan's face had been bright enough to rival the sun.

Little had he known that this day had been the beginning of the end for him in terms of Park Sungho.

Back in the present day, Riwoo was finally making some progress in putting together the pieces. His jaw dropped.

"So you're saying…", he trailed off, somehow not quite finding the right words.

It was adult Leehan's turn to put on a smug smirk: "That Taesan's loser ass has been pining after Sungho-hyung without ever actually making a damn move since we were all in middle school, and only tried to distract himself from his own misery a couple of times by hooking up with strangers he thought were attractive a few times, which has led him to the inevitable realization that his mind categorises people into "Sungho-hyung, heart eyes" and "Not Sungho-hyung, why are you even talking to me??", meaning his situation is beyond hopeless? Yes, that's exactly what I'm saying. Glad you're finally following."

"…Wow."

Leehan figured that was a fair reaction. It must have been lots of new information for his friend, after all. Not everyone had had the absolute pleasure of hearing nothing but "Why can't Sungho-hyung like me back? I really think we should date… He's so perfect, of course he wouldn't like someone like me, though. He deserves better than that. Leehanie, how can I become a better person? Do you think he would want me if I did?" and so on for the past decade.

"Well, thank you for your very insightful words, Leehan. Unfortunately, I have to go, but I'll catch you at the movie night later this week?", the older finally wrapped up their meeting.

His response was a small yet genuine smile, accompanied by a calm "See you there, hyung! Have a good evening."

Soon enough, Leehan was left with his milkshake and evil thoughts of bringing up Taesan's past to him via text in the near future.

Taesan glanced at his lit-up screen to find that he had five unread messages.

[That Weird Kid Jaehyun Has A Crush On]

yo~

riu hyung jst reminded me

movie night fri

u coming?? <3

🥺🥺🥺

Leehan was doing what he did best. Ragebait him. It was obvious from the unnecessary abbreviations and weird wannabe cutesy tone he used. (Jaehyun also did not have a crush on him anymore....That Taesan actively knew of. Still, he refused to change the contact name.)

[That Weird Kid Jaehyun Has A Crush On]

will sungho be there

how am i suppsd 2 know

you are 30 years old.

fix your tone.

hmmmmm

no 😘

🙄🙄

In all fairness, Taesan should have expected this reaction. He knew the other like no one else. Which was exactly why he said it anyway. Leehan, too, knew exactly how to get a reaction out of him.

[That Weird Kid Jaehyun Has A Crush On]

i think he will

👍

i'm excited to c u too tae~♡

Taesan gave some stupid response, then turned back to his guitar. He had to finish this song. People were relying on him to get it done by the end of the week, but his motivation had been playing hide and seek with him all day.

The prospect of seeing the person he secretly wrote almost all his songs about and dedicated most of them to changed some things, though. He sighed.

Park Sungho, Han Taesan's muse since the day they had first met... When the music producer walked out of the studio at 01:00 am, the song was all finished. Instrumental, lyrics, adlibs, everything.

It would have been embarrassing if he had found it in himself to care. Taesan didn't.

Somewhere along the way, he had made peace with it. Humans were strange, the sky was blue, ice was cold, and Taesan was madly and deeply in love with Sungho.

[🔥bnd🔥]

Han Taesanie: sry guys they scheduled a last minute meeting…

Han Taesanie: will be maybe an hour late

He seemed annoyed even through texts, and it warmed Sungho's heart a little bit. His crush liked to act all nonchalant and aloof, so these moments where it became evident that he actually cared about the friend group quite a lot were precious to him.

[🔥bnd🔥]

Myung Jaehyun: Don't worry about it tae

Lee Riwoo: you know where to find us, man

Baby Woonhakie: I'll drink an extra shot for you hyung

Baby Woonhakie: Or two!

Lee Riwoo: pls dont…..

Myung Jaehyun: PLEASE DONT

Sungho smiled. They were chaotic, but there was so much love hidden in the cracks of the mosaic that made up their friend group. Some pieces had just always fit perfectly; others had to be glued together with the help of patience and growing understanding of each other. Now it was uniquely theirs.

He got to their go-to bar around four minutes late. Traffic had been messy. The others greeted him warmly, and they all got to chatting and catching up some more. Taesan was obviously still missing.

"Let's assign tonight's drinking buddies.", Jaehyun suddenly interrupted. It was a system they had come up with in college. Since there were six people in the friend group, they would always pair two people together who were supposed to look after each other. If you failed to pay enough attention to them and your drinking buddy got a bit too drunk, it was your responsibility to get them back home safely somehow.

The system was simple, but it worked like a charm. They had successfully avoided many nightmare scenarios through it.

Before he could stop himself or even realise why it was a bad idea, Sungho protested: "But Taesan isn't here right now, isn't it a bit unfair?"

Myungjae grinned at him.

"If you're so worried about him, you can be his drinking buddy!"

Woonhak nodded overly enthusiastically.

"That's perfect! I'm fine with anyone as long as it's not Taesan-hyung. He can be so mean…"

As if they had all conspired against him, Riwoo and Jaehyun spoke at the same time.

"I'll choose Woonhakie!"

"I want Leehanie this time, then."

Their youngest, Woonhak, beamed at Riwoo. "You really mean it, hyung?"

Riwoo shrugged and gave him a warm smile: "Yeah, you're cute today."

He was entirely unprepared for the overly enthusiastic hug that followed, but seemed entertained by Woonhak's shenanigans.

No one noticed how Leehan's cheeks turned a shade pinker. They were too focused on the energetic youngest. And Sungho's misery.

"Nooooo, please don't leave me all alone with drunk Taesanie. He gets sooo clingy and affectionate. I really can't do it.", he whined.

Judging by his friends' reactions, that was, apparently, a weird thing to say. Riwoo choked on his drink, Woonhak's eyes looked like they were about to pop out of his head, Leehan had raised an eyebrow at him, and Jaehyun was laughing.

"CLINGY???", he yelled more than asked.

"Yeah?? Does he not get clingy around you?", Sungho responded, clearly confused.

"Brother, the last time I had the misfortune of experiencing drunk Taesan, he sat in a corner sobbing about something. Then, when I tried to hug him, he told me to leave him the fuck alone or else he would cut off my dick and send it back to manufacturing.", Jaehyun recounted.

He sounded genuinely distressed by the idea of it, and Sungho almost would have felt bad if it wasn't for the face Jaehyun was making.

The other added a mildly horrified sounding: "I don't think my mum would have appreciated that."

Woonhak was cackling at the story, but he seemed to feel the need to further support the evidence.

"Hyung, what do you mean 'clingy', are you crazy? Taesan-hyung is an emotional drunk, it's actually so exhausting. That's why I said he gets mean."

Sungho was puzzled. So that meant…?

"Wait, so has he never called anyone else while drunk as fuck to declare his undying love to you?", he inquired.

Silence.

Dead silence.

Everyone was staring at him. Jaehyun's mouth had dropped wide open. Rude.

Quietly, and as if that would help his case, Sungho continued: "After the fifth time, I just figured that's how he acts…"

"JESUS CHRIST, SUNGHO-"

"WHAT DO YOU MEAN THE FIFTH TIME?"

"AFTER??? HOW MANY TIMES HAS THIS HAPPENED???"

Sungho felt a little overwhelmed at the sudden outbursts of his friend. It made him feel defensive.

"Well, we've known each other a long time!"

He could tell that many of his friends had things they wanted to say in response to that. None of those words ever made it to him. The source of all chaos himself had appeared.

"Hey guys, I'm so sorry for being late. You know how these music people can get sometimes. Luckily, they were at least somewhat compliant during the meeting, and we could finish early.", Taesan explained, blissfully unaware of the conversation that had just taken place.

Everyone muttered their greetings. Jaehyun beamed at him and went: "Oh, by the way. Congrats, dude! Your drinking buddy tonight is our beloved Sungho!"

The aforementioned narrowed his eyes at the singer and smiled weakly at his friend. Taesan had the audacity to grin at him.

"Sweet!"

It was going to be a long evening…

Three drinks in, Woonhak noticed Taesan's phone lighting up. He thought he was seeing things, but no, that was definitely a picture of Sungho smiling carelessly staring back at him. Weird.

Taesan's lockscreen had always been his mom and sister, there was no reason for him to change it suddenly. Unless!

Woonhak's eyes went wide. They must be dating. Oh my god.

His hyungs were acting normally, well, as normal as they usually did. Which actually was not normal whatsoever. Taesan was flirting with Sungho. Sungho was rolling his eyes and periodically flinching away whenever the other tried to kiss him. Ordinary stuff, really.

Then, Sungho got a message. Woonhak had to mentally recount the drinks he had had.

"Riwoo-hyung…"

His friend turned around to look at him.

"Yes, Woonhakie?"

He took a deep breath. "That was my third drink, right? I didn't miss any? Nobody smuggled any hard drugs into one of them?"

Riwoo scanned his face for a long time. Blinked twice, then: "No, that's right. You had three perfectly normal alcoholic beverages thus far. Are you okay?"

However, Woonhak didn't respond. Instead, he narrowed his eyes at Sungho and Taesan across the table. They were bickering about something probably irrelevant.

"Hyungs… what's with the matching lockscreens?", he inquired, speaking slowly to give the question some more weight.

If it had been a different situation, he would have burst out laughing at the face Sungho was making. He had turned into the personification of a deer in the headlights.

"What do you mean 'matching'?", he asked.

The youngest shrugged. "Ask Taesanie-hyung, not me."

"Taesanie-hyung" had just turned approximately 19.99 shades redder.

"Listen, hyung. Those kids are seriously scary. If Minju had run into me again and asked to see my lockscreen and it was anything other than you, what would I have said? I told her it's you.", he rushed to explain. Except, it explained nothing.

"WHY THE HELL WOULD YOU SAY ITS ME IN THE FIRST PLACE???"

At that, Taesan grimaced.

"That's kinda rich coming from the guy who never changed his lockscreen back to something normal, don't you think? Your lockscreen is literally me. Which is why she asked about mine, mind you."

Sungho heavily regretted deciding to stay sober that day. He, too, should be at least four drinks in. Alas, he had had two glasses of water and a bottle of Coke.

All of their friends had shifted their full attention to the conversation happening between the two of them, and Sungho was painfully aware of it. He grabbed Taesan's hand with a bit more force than necessary and informed him: "I'm not having this conversation here. You're coming with me."

Taesan, predictably, saw it as another opportunity to flirt with his crush.

"You know I'd follow you to the ends of the earth, hyung. Lead the way!"

A few minutes of walking in quiet later, they sat down on a bench near the Han River.

"I'm sorry for not changing it back and dragging you into this mess, Taesanie. I genuinely forgot, and then they noticed and I panicked. But I should have told them you're my cousin or something. That's my bad." , Sungho apologized quietly.

Taesan shook his head at him.

"Don't worry about it, hyung. There's no one I'd rather have dating rumours with." The music producer gave Sungho a crooked smirk. "And actually, I'm sorry, too. I don't know how much she told you, but I probably shouldn't have gone on that super long poetic tangent about sparks and fireworks. Or told her that the song is about you.", he added.

Right. Sungho's heart stopped for a beat.

Then, cautiously, as if whatever connection they had might break if he spoke too loudly, he asked: "Is it really?"

Taesan lifted his head to look up at him. He laughed humourlessly.

"Of course it is, hyung. They all are."

He was no longer looking at Sungho; he couldn't.

"You know, my parents wanted me to do finance. And I was okay with that. I'm not passionate about numbers or anything, but I wanted to make my parents proud and be a dependable brother and son. But then I met you. All the poems and songs in the world could never even get close to describing how I felt when I first saw you. Or when I saw you again. Or even when I didn't see you, but someone mentioned your name. You were, still are, so special to me that I decided to dedicate my life to trying to put all those feelings into words. I know how cheesy and overwhelming all this must sound, you can ignore that I said it. I don't know why I did, sorry hyung. Oh my god, I need to stop talking."

Sungho did feel a bit overwhelmed, but not in the way Taesan thought he would at all. In that moment, with Han River flowing peacefully in the background and random people going on nightly walks around them, everything suddenly came crashing down.

A medley of Taesan's songs was playing in Sungho's mind all of a sudden. A distant memory of himself wondering why all of his crush's songs were love songs of some kind resurfaced. A moment where Sungho had visited Taesan's work unannounced to bring him lunch one Saturday afternoon after hearing that the other hadn't eaten yet replayed itself. Taesan had looked uncharacteristically panicked to see him and slapped his notebook shut in one quick motion. A montage of bad pickup lines the other had used on him started. All the pieces were falling into place. Sungho was not the only idiot who had been hopelessly in love with his friend for an embarrassing amount of years. Taesan loved him.

"Taesanie…"

The other made a noise to indicate he was listening.

"Do you remember that party back when we were 17?", he finally wondered out loud.

"Sungho-hyung, are you asking me if I remember the marriage pact that I still cannot believe you actually agreed to?", his crush asked weakly, defeat evident in his voice.

Sungho raised an eyebrow. "Yeah, I am. Why wouldn't I agree?" It was an unnecessary question with an obvious answer. 

"You know damn well everyone expects you to make better decisions than that. Like a marriage pact alone is reckless enough. But with ME? Now that we're talking about it anyway and I've already embarrassed myself beyond saving, why did you say yes?", Taesan asked what he had been wondering for so long.

There was a long, charged pause. He still refused to look at Sungho, who was giving him an assessing glance.

"You know, I wondered that too. For a really long time, actually. I think I only fully understood why like five minutes ago.

When we were younger, you would sometimes give me that one look and I just couldn't refuse it. As we got older, I tried to take care of you in the ways that I could. I found myself drawn to you, felt a sense of responsibility to ensure you were doing well. But in my mind, all that was normal. Until one day, my girlfriend broke up with me and she told me: "No hard feelings, but I think you're in love with your friend Taesan". I was stunned. Why would she say something so absurd? Why would she even think it? It was confusing."

Sungho paused briefly to consider his next sentences. A decade's worth of pining was hard to put into words. He noticed Taesan's eyes on him, posture more open than before.

"So I considered the possibility. I replayed our interactions, reflected a lot on my feelings and eventually, I realised she was right. I figured that was it, then. It was my reality; I was in love with you and the world kept spinning. That's why I refused to date anyone else in the past years; it would have been unfair. The longer I thought about it, the more I understood that loving you is second nature to me. That's why it took someone else telling me for me to realise it.

I'm so used to being in love with you that I never thought much of it. Looking back, I was probably just in love with you then, too. Because the funny thing is, I did know better, of course. I was fully aware that I should have said no. And yet, a part of me just refused.

I think I was about to shoot down your offer when my mind conjured up the image of you marrying someone else. And then, something in me snapped. Because that couldn't happen. I couldn't stand it; I needed that image gone. So, I agreed.", the kindergarten teacher elaborated. His voice was calm despite how much his mind and heart were racing.

Taesan just stared at him, mouth hanging open, shock written into every single one of his delicate features.

"So, then. I. We. You- You're in love with me??", he stammered.

Sungho laughed, carefree and gentle and beautiful. He nodded sheepishly.

His crush was having an internal meltdown and cursing his past self for drinking so much. He could really have used a sober mind because that was a lot.

"Hey, so, if it's your birthday next week and we start dating now, does that break the pact since we would both be dating someone?"

Taesan received a slight hit against his arm in response.

"If that's your idea of a proposal, my answer is no.", Sungho complained, but there was an amused glint in his eyes. Finally.

It was an incredibly ordinary day, birds were chirping, and Taesan and Sungho were walking next to each other, fingers intertwined. They had no set destination; being in each other's presence was enough.

Sungho decided to break the comfortable silence: "You threatened to cut off Jaehyun's dick and send it back to manufacturing?"

The other stopped dead in his tracks, his eyes flicked over at Sungho's face, assessing. Then, he burst out laughing.

"HEY, to be fair… I was really upset that you didn't love me that day…", Taesan weakly defended himself.

At that, Sungho could no longer hold back his own laughter.

"So your next best solution is to threaten one of your best friends who was just trying to be there for you with violence and psychological warfare?", he giggled.

This was so stupid. Taesan was so stupid. He loved him. And maybe that was the silliest part. Because even then, he had loved him. He had loved Taesan all along.

Sungho's fiancé frowned in response to his question.

"…Maybe I should apologise to Myungjae's dick."

More giggling followed.

"Probably."