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The citizens of Westhelm knew two things.
The first was that their leader was mad. Their emperor’s character was well known throughout the island, even the people of Pandora were aware of Schpood’s peculiar personality. Unstable, unpredictable, charismatic in a certain way, certainly, and other adjectives that would make anyone hesitate before setting foot in Westhelm. But not that kind of mad—rather, mad with love.
And the second thing: the Lead Advisor was painfully unaware that his Emperor looked at him differently, that his touch was different just for him, that whenever he was around, the Emperor made sure that gaze was fixed solely on him.
It was a story as old as Westhelm itself.
According to their emperor and the lead advisor, the two of them found themselves in the tundra, caught in a hellish blizzard, vulnerable and with little chance of surviving on their own, so they stayed together to face the hardships of the cruel climate side by side. They fled from polar bears, slept in caves at night, and helped each other out of the powdered snow. Until they began to find more people and recruit them for the future empire that Schpood had dreamed of on those freezing nights, and which Saparata promised to be a part of.
This recounting is the rather condensed version that the citizens of Westhelm tell to those curious about their empire. The version the Emperor recounts every time he, his two consuls, and a handful of his senators go to enjoy dinner and drinks at The French Kiss tends to be far too long and exaggerated.
That’s why the right person to ask about Westhelm’s origins is the Lead Advisor. Although he’s a very busy man, with a workload as vast and endless as his love for his empire, he’s always happy to take a moment to chat with a citizen. Unlike Schpood, Saparata tells that acclaimed story in a condensed form, without getting too bogged down in details, but always with that distant, longing gaze, recalling with a strange fondness those days filled with frozen limbs, snow, bears, and the uncertainty of whether they would still be alive the next day.
Although the Emperor’s infatuation was obvious, for a time there was doubt as to whether that love was reciprocated. The Lead Advisor did not behave the way a person in love would. His smile was always polite, never silly or dreamy. His sighs were short, never gently drawn out, and seemed to come from his lungs, not his heart—as is usually the case when one has in mind the face of that person who has invaded every corner of one’s being.
For quite some time, it was believed that their leader was the victim of unrequited love. When that rumor spread, Westhelm went into mourning to join their Emperor in his grief, it was a silent and unanimous decision.
Stories, poems, and sonnets were written. Gloomy paintings were created that gained great popularity outside of Westhelm, even though people were unaware of the story behind those sorrowful brushstrokes. Depressing songs were sung that brought even those who enjoyed a carefree, laughter-filled life —such as the inhabitants of Pandora— to tears. Every kind of art form was created, inspired by the nonexistent grief of their Emperor, who, faced with the depressed mood into which his empire had sunk, could only wonder if everyone had now become emos because of Nevermore.
Until, after a long investigation (observing the interactions between those two without blinking) 5pyder, the Emperor’s second-in-command and one of his trusted consuls, came forward to report that this was not the case, that Saparata had that look in his eyes.
That was how Westhelm’s citizens learned a third thing: It wasn’t a one-sided love, they loved each other.
A celebration was held in Westhelm that very night. The two at the center of it all had no idea of the real reason why everyone was suddenly celebrating, hugging one another, sharing food, and making heartfelt toasts during which more than half the liquid in their glasses ended up spilled on the floor. Their doubts were simply dispelled with the explanation that it was simply to celebrate love and to their nation.
The fourth thing the citizens of Westhelm soon realized was this: The two of them needed to be together. Soon.
All of Westhelm came together so that its Emperor and Lead Advisor could enjoy an epic romance, a story that would be recorded not only in history books but also in the minds of future generations, surpassing even the tales of the greatest nations.
Everyone did their part to help those two finally realize that their feelings were mutual. Such unity in the nation had not been seen since the founding and consolidation of Westhelm, after Schpood attempted assasination.
From Remy, leading the pair to a table with a perfect view of the nation, serving a sweet wine with a corny name, and a single plate of red spaghetti for both of them one time when the two went to The French Kiss for a meal. When asked why, the most famous rat on both continents simply said “Squeak squeak,” which translated to something like “Trust me, I have read it in a book.”
Even Island One Band gave it a shot to help the relationship between Schpood and Saparata blossom. They held a super-exclusive concert whose setlist was packed with romantic, slow, and mellow ballads. Other songs had a more intense and catchy beat, but even so, they were all about love.
Senator Lizzie and Consul of Internal Affairs Owo conspired together (“in the name of love”) to lock those two away for a couple of hours in a storage room. They hoped that, thanks to the intimate setting cut off from the outside world, Schpood and Saparata would open their hearts to each other.
It was a profound, desolate, pathetic failure.
The lead advisor didn't like the sweet wine. The plate of spaghetti, though incredibly delicious, only led them to split it between their plates by cutting it with a table knife, causing Remy to grumble about losing the bet he'd made with one of his chefs.
The Island One Band received both praise and criticism in equal measure. “I liked most of your new songs” said their emperor as he approached them at the end of the private concert “but get rid of the slow songs, that way you’ll gain more fans at your concerts all over the island.”
And as for the storage room—well, suffice it to say that when Lizzie and Owo returned a little while later, they didn’t find a couple of lovebirds as they’d expected, but a broken door.
“We’re going to war with Nevermore” the emperor told his lead advisor as soon as he realized his empire was once again plunged into desolation.
A delegation from Luminara arrived one day in Westhelm to “strengthen the alliance” they had formed some time ago when the bridge from the coast of Pandora finally reached that of Yggdrasil.
The delegation, led by the vice president (in the absence of the president, who had fallen ill despite his great excitement at visiting Westhelm after so long) and a couple of council members, stayed in the empire for just under a week. During that short time, the relationship between the two nations was strengthened through the exchange of stories, food, plenty of drink, and long tours around the area.
By the time Luminara’s group returned to their continent, the fact that the emperor and the lead advisor were in love had spread beyond the borders of Westhelm.
One of the people who found out about this was Sidefall, from Sidefall News, who decided he would do something about it.
“It’s my good deed for the day,” said the young man as he began writing his next article with passionate speed and a big (malicious) smile on his face. “No! Of my entire life!”
“They'll be eternally grateful to me, you'll see,” he said in the middle of the night as he scattered hundreds of newspapers across the empty streets of Westhelm. “They'll say, ‘Oh, thank you so much, Sidefall. We'll reward you handsomely—yes, yes, take whatever you want.’”
The citizens of Westhelm began their day with the following news:
Westhelm’s Lead Advisor Decides to Start a New Life in Pandora After Finding Love
Attached was a photograph of the Lead Advisor in his white tunic and a golden laurel wreath on his head, alongside a man with black hair, dressed in elegant attire with touches of purple. What they were talking about outside the coliseum was unknown.
“What’s your plan here?” Ymi had asked her dear friend.
“Don’t you see? When Schpood reads this, he’ll go to Saparata to demand an explanation, they’ll confess their love for each other, get married, and I’ll be filthy rich.”
Sidefall’s prediction turned out not to be entirely wrong.
When Emperor Schpood held that newspaper in his hands, he scoffed at first. Then he showed it to 5pyder, who was standing next to him: “What do you think of this?”
“I don’t know, sir. It looks fake.” But then 5pyder realized what Sidefall was trying to do, and, trying to make up for his mistake, he added “But… that photo, it would be better if you went to see the lead advisor.”
"That photo…" Schpood paused, doubt instantly invading him, his smile faltered, and his eyebrows furrowed “Yes, I’ll go see him. 5pyder, wait here.”
5pyder didn’t follow his emperor’s order, he waited a couple of seconds until the hurried footsteps stopped echoing down the hallway, then headed toward the lead advisor’s office, almost jumping with excitement and shouting 'Finally!' Sidefall, that damn genius.
“It's Sidefall,” Saparata replied, barely looking up from the pile of papers scattered across his acacia desk. Schpood, standing in front of him, was holding the newspaper.
It’s Sidefall, Schpood realized. Of course, it was nothing more than misinformation spread by that brat to make a profit. “Oh… that’s right. Well, I’ll get back to my business, and you to yours. G-goodbye.”
Outside by the door, having heard everything, 5pyder could only grit his teeth and resist the urge to kick the wall. He’d been so close, Sidefall had been so close. It would have worked if Sidefall weren’t Sidefall.
“But Saps” Schpood paused, his voice low “If one day you decide to leave Westhelm to find happiness or love or whatever else elsewhere, please tell me right away.”
“That’s stupid. I’d never leave" Saparata replied, setting aside the paperwork to look directly at Schpood, with a confident expression and sincerity in his smile. "Westhelm is where I belong”
On one of his few days off, 5pyder decided to go for a walk in Elysium, eat some watermelon outdoors, and maybe spend a little time in the warm —but not boiling— water that characterized Elysium just as much as its neutrality. His friend Benji, who happened to be the archon and founder of the nation of peace, joined him for those plans.
Their friendship had formed during the early days of both nations’ establishment, when the Elysium embassy was completed on Westhelm’s territory. Schpood didn’t feel like dealing with more people that day and went off somewhere (possibly to bother Saps in his office), leaving 5pyder to handle the visitors. They chatted a bit, realized they had a few things in common, and then, after Benji and his people left, the two began exchanging letters every now and then.
“It’s so painful to watch” 5pyder complained. They were both sitting under the shade of a beach umbrella, reclining in chairs and eating sliced watermelon. “They look at each other with that stupid, dreamy look that everyone in Westhelm notices, except the two of them, of course!”
“What do you think about this? Elysium is having a festival next week to celebrate Ish and the creation of this world. Why don’t you invite the two of them to come? Maybe with the right atmosphere, something might happen” he suggested. 5pyder stopped his rant and slowly contemplated the offer while chewing on a slice of fresh watermelon.
Benji wasn’t a citizen of Westhelm, and he didn’t even like Schpood (the feeling was mutual), it didn’t concern him in the slightest, but he, too, fervently hoped those two would realize their feelings for each other, because his friend’s despair and anguish were beginning to rub off on him.
“I don’t think Schpood would want to, he’s not a big fan of Elysium, and he’s not religious either” 5pyder explained, after swallowing a bite of watermelon.
“But if Saparata agrees, then Schpood won’t have any other choice”
“Benji, you’re brilliant.”
Upon returning to Westhelm, 5pyder had a couple of flyers for the Elysium festival in his pocket and great hope in his heart.
Convincing Saparata wasn't difficult, but it wasn't as simple as just handing him the flyer either. 5pyder and Owo showed up at his office with a brief speech about 'why you should take a day off next week and why it has to be at Elysium of all places'
Thankfully, Saparata agreed, after 5pyder mentioned that Schpood was considering going for the free food and drinks.
Convincing Schpood was easier than blinking. All 5pyder had to do was accidentally drop the flyer in front of him so that Schpood would read it and ask “What’s this?”
To which 5pyder, fighting the urge to smile, replied, “Oh, that? Just a flyer, someone gave me a couple of them. I was tempted to go, but some things came up, so I gave one to Saps.”
“Saps is going?”
“Hmm? Oh, yeah. He said the free food and drinks sounded good. What? Does that interest you?”
5pyder was kicked out of the office, and Schpood kept the flyer.
The following Friday arrived with the promise to all the citizens of Westhelm that their greatest wish (no, not the fall of the Commonwealth—that would be for some other day) would finally be fulfilled.
No one really knew what the two of them discussed or what agreement they reached, but the good news was that their emperor and lead advisor set out together at dusk on their golden steeds toward the southwest, where Elysium awaited them.
An hour after their departure, a small group consisting of Westhelm’s consuls and senators also set out for the nation of peace, following their source of entertainment.
The moon crossed the vast dome of scattered lights above them and set, and after it, the sun too arced across the vast cerulean. And when the moon reappeared, all those from Westhelm had already arrived at their destination.
The pair walked along the paths illuminated by the warm light of lanterns, stopping occasionally at a stall where cheerful citizens of Elysium —who had no idea that these two cloaked figures were the most prominent figures in the neighboring empire— offered them snacks or drinks.
The group of meddlers had scattered as soon as they set foot on the nation’s soil, each taking up a position to observe the couple from different angles and intervene if necessary. They wore disguises ranging from fake facial hair drawn with charcoal and a hat, to a radical change in their style. 5pyder, the latter being the most striking example, wore a long black cloak with a large hood that cast a huge shadow over his features. Owo had pointed out that he looked like a member of those cults Daybreak Media had mentioned in its old reports, and 5pyder silently agreed.
Schpood and Saps made their way to the Luminara Bridge, eating and holding a lot of snacks in their arms, after exchanging a few words with Benji Button, who welcomed them to his nation before Schpood, not wanting to exchange any more words with him, dragged Saps away.
Standing under the tree with the best view, the consul watched as the two of them leaned against the stone railing of the bridge to watch the warm waves and chat. He couldn’t hear what they were talking about, but it was easy to tell it was something pleasant and mundane from the way they were smiling.
Schpood said something, awkwardly looking away, and Saparata laughed, revealing his pearly teeth and closing his eyes as tears began to well up. Schpood joined in the laughter, his gaze once again fixed on Saps. That’s how things were for a while between the two of them, talking carefree, laughing, gradually moving closer together.
Benji, of all the people who existed in Yggdrasil, was going to be the one to achieve what an entire nation had failed to do.
But then something happened. Saparata had suddenly fallen into the sea. Schpood watched in horror as the waves stirred before diving in without a moment’s hesitation to save his beloved.
The commotion drew a couple of residents who had been on the beach or at the dock enjoying the festival. Benji Button, who had been enjoying live music, was informed by his second-in-command of what had happened and ran toward the beach, where a couple of bodies emerged from the waves, holding onto each other to lift themselves up against the weight of their soaked clothes.
“Oh my God, what happened here?” He motioned for a couple of blankets to be brought for the two drenched people and approached them to make sure they were okay. “Is anyone hurt?”
Still under the tree, 5pyder continued to watch without moving an inch from his original position. He knew both of them well and knew that a simple dip in the water would cause no more harm than a minor disruption to the festival’s cheerful and festive atmosphere.
“Did you like my little trick?” A cold hand rested on his shoulder, and 5pyder could barely hold back the embarrassingly shrill scream that welled up in his lungs. “Wait for the best part.”
“Ish? What are you doing here?” he asked in a whispering voice, his heart still pounding as he watched the god with unnaturally bright blue eyes keeping him company under the tree.
“What am I doing here? This is a festival dedicated to me! I’m just having fun like everyone else.”
'Elysium will have a festival next week to celebrate Ish and the creation of this world.' Suddenly, he remembered what Benji had told him, and Ish’s presence made sense, but not his action.
“I’d recommend you follow those two, the good stuff is about to start! And you don't want to miss it” And with no words other than that advice, the god vanished in the blink of an eye. As soon as his heart calmed down a little, he followed the path along which Benji had led Schpood and Saps, who were wrapped in blankets.
The pair was on the outskirts of the festival, where the moonlight shone brighter than the festival lights and where the music was slightly louder than the sound of the crickets hidden in the foliage.
There was no sign of Benji (perhaps Schpood had chased him away) but even so, he and the pair weren’t the only ones there, in other nearby trees and behind a house with the lights turned off, other figures that he knew very well, were lurking.
“I don't know why you jumped in when you know I'm a pretty good swimmer” Saparata broke the silence, and the whole world fell quiet to listen.
“I—I got scared, okay?” Schpood tried to explain, as a faint blush began to spread across his face.
“Scared of what? It was like about a meter and a half deep”
“I DON'T KNOW! I just— didn’t want to lose you…”
“Lose me?” Now they were looking at each other face to face, Schpood’s gaze avoided Saps’s all-consuming obsidian eyes, suddenly too terrified to say anything else.
“Yeah, you know, Saps… you’re really important to me A—AND to all of Westhelm in general, you know, you… I—”
Saps’ hands cupped either side of Schpood’s head, drawing their faces closer and silencing his stammering with a kiss born of an inexplicable courage that welled up from the depths of his heart. And in a couple of seconds, his torso was enveloped by strong arms in an embrace that promised to be eternal.
“FINALLY, OH MY GOD, FINALLY!”
“WHERE DID YOU COME FROM—?”
The day Emperor Schpood and Lead Advisor Saparata were married became a national holiday throughout Westhelm.