Chapter Text
Casey has been without his husband for twenty-five years.
That's almost the same amount of time Casey was on this Earth when he first met Ryland. When everything about Driver was wrong, no matter what he did, the Alpha still allowed him to get close. How the sweet man helped Casey learn to live with both sides of himself, even as the both of them tumbled into loving each other.
He doesn't like to think of the coming years. In three years, Lynn, Ryland and his wonderful daughter will be thirty. In five, it will be the 30th anniversary of when the world learned its sun was dying. It will also be the time that Casey has to remember his mate going off into a secret program that will help save Earth, as Casey takes care of their then one-year-old. Learns to live with video chats, calls, and one-week visits every three months as Ryland does what he does best: science. There was never a moment, though, when Casey felt unloved or out of his skin during that time. Because he understood why his husband had to be away; Ryland was going to save the world for him, their daughter, his twin's family, and his students. Casey made peace with that because he knew the love of his life would return to them. They were even talking about having more kids when he came back.
Two years after the anniversary will be the one that will threaten to break Driver. A reminder of the time his husband was ripped away from him. Shot into space; one-way. The cold and vicious thing that had persisted through his life, only to thaw and calm after years in his mate's presence, crept back inside of him, numbing him to everything. It's only his daughter for whom he is able to get it back under control, deep inside of him again
And make no mistake, his Alpha was taken away from him. People said he volunteered after the explosion that killed the first and second scientists on the mission. Driver didn't believe a fucking word of it. Ryland enjoyed Earth too much. Loved him and their daughter too much to leave without a single word. Not even Colt got to say goodbye. Neither of them could prove it, but deep down, both of them knew that Ryland hadn't left by his own will.
During each year when the anniversary of the Hail Mary launch comes around, it always forces Casey to remember it is another year without his sun. But it will be thirty-two years since then; surely that is long enough for Casey to be on his own, right?
Ryland would hate the way he is thinking. But how much longer will he have to wait to join his husband?
But then Lynn and Colt will be devastated, and Casey can't do that to them. The two people who helped him navigate this world without Ryland, and made the numbness inside of him bearable. Keeping his jagged soul together. But it will be a close thing to decide. He will just have to see how he feels then.
The world has gone to shit now. It's colder, plants died, and governments are fractured. Countries are still around, but central governments have less control than they did in the past. A lot of people moved away from the coasts when the ice became too much. Led to a lot of overcrowding in areas. Resources became scarce. Death was a constant. It was terrible, yet better than many scholars predicted. But that was just in the United States.
Driver had wanted to take Lynn and just drive away from all the problems. But that wasn't fair to her or his extended family.
Thankfully, Casey never had to deal with any sort of problems that the rest of the populace had to deal with. None of the families of the people who went on the Hail Mary did. Driver almost wished he had to fight; not because he wanted to, but because he wanted a way to release all his pain. Wanted someone to bleed. The one person whom he wanted to hurt the most, Eva Stratt, was beyond his reach, so he wanted someone else to take it.
Yet Ryland was still protecting him, even when he wasn't with Casey. He, Colt, and Court (he had come back not long after Ryland was sent into space; who had time to hunt down an ex-CIA assassin and his adopted daughter when the world was dying?) got nice accommodations in a "district" set up around the middle of West Virginia, Maryland, and Virginia. They even managed to include a small list of friends (all mostly Colt and Jody's) that were spaced out among the other seven.
And true to humanity, even as the world is crashing down, humans will try to still do things that are considered "normal." Lynn went to college (physical college locations didn't exist, so it was all online), participated in internships around their dome, and got a degree in Engineering. Just like her Papa, she had a keen sense for the STEM fields. And just like Ryland, she wanted to help the world continue to live by helping work on the domes that protected them. She was just as amazing as the man who helped make her.
For his part, his normal was still working on engines. There were always engines to work on, even when everyone stopped relying so heavily on cars. He even co-owned a garage with Court and Colt. (He knows they bought it mostly for him; in the same way he was co-owner in the companies they operate. Court, a security company, and Colt, a gym.)
None of it took away his pain, though. There were days he didn't want to get out of bed. Days where he destroyed his nest because Ryland's scent wasn't there. Days where he wanted to lash out at anyone to make them hurt as he did. Days where he was very close to fully disassociating. He could barely handle his insomnia, and he couldn't even deal with it the same way he did in the past; gas rationing made it impossible for him to go out and drive aimlessly, and electric cars didn't feel the same.
He struggled to breathe all the time. There was a hole in his chest that refused to heal. He was always one step from letting the animal inside of him snap and break things. He just needed that one thing, one last push, to nudge him over the edge.
It was one of his good days, where he was dismantling the engine of an electric car to figure out the problem as he waited for a call from Lynn, when he got a phone call from an unknown number.
"Is this the husband of Dr. Ryland Grace?…"
Casey stared at the government official across the table. It had been five days since he got the call that Ryland's family all needed to come together for something important. Something dark and twisted formed in his chest when he first heard the voice. He had a feeling he knew what it was about, and he almost hung up the phone without a word. The Beetles had come back. He didn't want to hear it; it meant that Ryland was truly dead. That's what the mission entailed. That's what was to happen. But then he thought of Colt and Court, about the closure the two needed, and forced himself to remain on the phone.
Not even an hour after that call, driving around in his car as heaviness sat on his shoulders, there was an international announcement that the Beetles had returned. This caused him a huge amount of confusion. Enough of it to head to Colt and Jody's place, where Court already was, and tell them about the meeting even as the world rejoiced around them. The bewilderment between them stalled the pain of losing Ryland. Especially when Colt received messages from Yao and Ilyukhina's families about how they had been told about the deaths of their loved ones before the Beetles notice.
Colt was optimistic at the news; Driver and Court, not so much.
Casey didn't dare hope that since they weren't told about Ryland's death, it must be good news. He couldn't because what if it wasn't? He wouldn't survive.
So that's how he found himself in the center of his family, his daughter in a chair to his left, Colt on his right, and Court standing behind Casey's chair. Jody leaned against Colt's other side as their three kids and their partners huddled around their parents. Claire stood next to Lynn with her spouse.
The government official smiled warmly. "Thank you for meeting with me," she greeted as she pulled out a tablet. "I am sure the past few days have been very exciting for everyone."
Driver pressed his lips together, but remained impassive. He wouldn't call it 'exciting.' 'Nerve-racking' was the better term.
"It's been… something," Jody spoke up when no one else did. Colt had been uncharacteristically quiet since this morning, and that didn't seem to be changing any time soon. Court was always quiet, but today was a different type; a deadlier type. One that set Driver's teeth on edge; he wasn't any better, though. He barely left his room all day yesterday before he went to pick up Lynn, and they left to go to Colt's house. He didn't trust himself not to do something stupid if he wandered about his own home.
Nodding, the government official repeated, "Definitely something."
Taking a deep breath, she started fiddling with the tablet. "We have been keeping something under wraps, for protection reasons," she started.
"Protection?" Court's words rumbled over Driver's head.
The woman nodded as she raised her head. "The truth of the matter is that the Beetles returned two weeks ago," she announced.
Driver frowned.
"But you only told the public about the Beetles five days ago," Colt murmured.
Smiling, the woman nodded. "We did. Because we wanted to be certain he would survive first."
Driver's breathing stopped.
No one said anything as the woman slid the tablet across the table. There wasn't much to see, but a paused video.
He stared at it for a second before looking at the woman. Her smile grew, eyes bright, but there was nothing on her face that gave anymore indication. Not even in her calm Beta scent.
Driver reached forward and tapped the device, allowing the video to play.
Nothing showed at first, but then a face filled the screen. Familiar blue eyes met Casey's.
"Hey Casey!"
He never snatched something up quicker in his life.
Pain bloomed where his forehead met the table. He pushed it away as he curled himself around the tablet, clasping it against his chest.
Hey Casey! Hey Casey! Hey Casey! Ryland's voice rang through his skull like a bell. For the first time in twenty-five years, Casey could breathe properly because his husband was in his hands. All those dark feelings that sat in his chest disappeared with just those simple words. Hey Casey!
A touch on his left side made him snarl and curl tighter around the tablet, scared for one second that whoever it was was going to take away his mate. But then, a second later, he smelled his daughter's scent and whined in apology. He blindly reached out and brought her in close, gripping her just as tightly as he was the tablet. Her hands dug into his shirt on his shoulder and side as she pressed hard against him. He purred softly when he felt her shake and heard a little hiccuping sob, her scent full of a mix of scents laden with an undercurrent of fear. He released his pheromones to comfort her, reminding himself that it just wasn't his husband he was holding, but also Lynn's Papa.
There was someone pressing to his right, and this time Casey was more prepared to feel Colt's arm wrap around him and Lynn. He heard Colt bawling, a hand covering Casey's, but made no move to pry his grip off the device, his scent combining with his and his daughter's. Then there was another touch coming from above, and Court's scent encased them all as he hugged the three of them. Casey felt something wet drop into his hair.
Casey breathed deeply through his mouth, the sound ragged to his ears. His heart felt like it was going to burst in his chest, and he couldn't have that because he wasn't going to die here. Not with his husband in his arms. It took a moment for him to get his breathing under control. When it did, he realized that the tablet wasn't making any noises.
Thorns dug into his heart as he opened his eyes. They were tacky; it took him a moment to register that he was crying.
Carefully, Casey unfurled himself just enough to look down at the device he held. On the screen, it showed the video was frozen.
The ghostly pause symbol overlaid on him, Ryland smiled warmly with his blue orbs bright in delight. His face was gaunt, with bags under his eyes, lips dry, and an oxygen tube shoved up each nostril. Casey's heart skipped a beat when he saw a faint line of a scar across his mate's nose and above his left eye. In the background, his husband leaned against a pillow, and there were more tubes around him. He was in a hospital bed.
Releasing a shaky breath, Casey slowly sat up straighter. He wanted nothing more than to continue to curl around the tablet, but he had to know what was going on. Had to hear the rest of the video.
Lynn, Court, and Colt eased their holds but still pressed against him as he set the tablet on the table again. Casey refused to let go of his daughter as he pressed play again.
There was a moment of where Ryland just stared through the screen before he spoke again, "So, I'm alive!"
Casey huffed as he heard snickers and laughter from everyone around him. Leave it to his husband to state the obvious.
"I reached the moon base two weeks ago," Ryland went on. He winced. "I was in pretty bad shape when the Hail Mary reached it."
Worry clawed at Casey's stomach as he wondered what that meant. How bad? He knew it was bad, but just how bad? He couldn't really tell just by the angle his husband held the camera.
"And I can't believe it! A moon base! That's so amazing!" There was enough of a view for Casey to see Ryland's shoulder move, indicating he was gesturing.
His heart skipped a beat as he smiled, something not forced for once. He could see the movement in his mind, and he ached for the familiarity.
"But you know that, pshh." Ryland rolled his eyes as he continued to grin. "Everyone here says that it happened not long after the Hail Mary launched."
Then he relaxed into his bed, his smile softening. "I miss you so much," he whispered.
Casey felt the familiar sting of fresh tears behind his eyes. Deep in his chest, the ice inside of him didn't feel so cold.
"And our daughter!" Lynn gasped. Casey glanced toward her to see her blue eyes wide, tears flowing freely from behind her glasses, as she stared at the screen. He tightened his hold. "Our baby girl! I bet she is as beautiful as you."
A small sob passed through Lynn's lips. Casey turned in his seat so both arms wrapped around her. He cradled her close as he continued to watch the video.
Sadness filled Ryland's eyes. "I'm so sorry I wasn't there to watch you grow up, Lynn," he apologized. "But I hope I can get to know you better when I come down to Earth."
Lynn nodded with another little gasping sob. "I want to know you, too," she whispered softly. Almost lost in the sound of sobbing from everyone else.
"You will," Casey promised into her hair. "You will."
"The doctors say I have to stay here for another four weeks," Ryland explained, voice gentle. "It really sucks, but my body isn't ready to handle Earth's gravity after being in space for a long time. That, and my health needs to improve so I can handle the reentry."
Casey nodded in understanding even as his heart ached. He didn't want his husband to get even more hurt just as he was coming home. But he fiercely wanted to wrap his arms around Ryland again. To feel his mate's heartbeat against his chest.
"And then they talk about all this other stuff, like quarantining and more doctor visits, when I get back on Earth, ugh." With a deep sigh, Ryland stared at the camera. For a moment, uncertainty and sadness showed in his eyes before he shook his head, and they disappeared. It made Casey confused, but then he got distracted when Ryland stated softly, "I just want to hold you again."
Nodding again, the itch in Casey's arms intensified. He wanted to kiss his lips. To have his scent surround him. To be whole once more.
"Can you tell Colt I'm back?" Ryland asked, his smile growing. Next to him, Colt began to cry loudly again. "And if Colt is there watching this with you, look! I made it!"
Colt barked a laugh as he still continued to cry.
Playfulness danced in Ryland's eyes. "And just because you're older, age-wise, doesn't make you the oldest twin. I was born first."
With a snort, Colt wiped his face. "No, I am," he whispered, a small torn thing with a hint of happiness. "And I have someone who can prove it."
"I plea the fifth," Court joked above Casey's head. His tone was stronger but raspy and damp.
"So, four weeks." Ryland closed his eyes and took a deep breath. When he opened them again, he whispered seriously, "Just a bit longer, Love, and I'll be home. I promise."
Taking a deep breath of his own, Casey replied, "I'll be waiting." He would wait no matter how long it would take to bring Ryland back to Earth. To them. To him.
"I love you," Ryland said back, as if he really was talking to him. "I'll see you soon." He moved a bit, and the screen went dark.
Resisting the urge to play the video again, Casey's eyes traveled to the woman across from him.
Smiling kindly, she stated, "The video was recorded five days ago."
"The same time the announcement of the Beetles was released," Court articulated. Casey glanced up at him. The older alpha's face was wet with tears, but his face was stoic. Casey always had a hard time gauging his brother-in-law, even by his scent, but Court didn't seem too bothered that Ryland didn't have a message for him. Because, obviously, Ryland didn't know his older brother was alive.
Looking back at the government official, Casey caught the end of her nodding. "We thought it best to make that announcement first, so people will focus on that news.
"We'll still have to tell people about Dr. Grace's return," she added. "But we're hoping he will be on Earth by then, and have the support of his family so he won't be overwhelmed."
Colt huffed. "'Have the support of his family.' Damn right he will!" He gestured to all of them before pointing at the woman, frustration tinting his eyes. "And he is done with the project."
The woman's smile dimmed a little. "I don't have the right to make that call on Dr. Grace's behalf."
Colt growled, stiffening. His scent soured as he looked like he was about to jump across the table.
Jody wrapped an arm around his waist, her face stony. She released some calming, comforting Alpha scents to ease Colt.
Casey was with Colt on his point, but, for now, it wasn't something that needed to be focused on. First step was getting Ryland home.
The official looked at Casey. "You can keep the tablet," she informed gently. "There are other videos on there as well."
The news perked Casey up, breath catching. "More videos?"
"We thought it would be best his family look at some of his logs to understand what he went through on the Hail Mary," she nodded. "There are the personal logs he created, but also some from the Hail Mary's onboard cameras."
Casey nearly snatched the tablet again, tempted to run to a room and lock the door so he could watch them. But everyone needed to know what happened to Ryland. Not just him.
The government official stood up. Colt and Jody followed suit, but Casey refused to move, even when Lynn's grip tightened on him, like she was afraid he would. "Thank you again for meeting with me," she said.
There was something Casey couldn't quite place in her eyes as she added, "Many of those logs will be… enlightening."
Casey didn't have time to ask what about the videos would be 'enlightening' as the woman walked away, one of Jody's kids walking her out.
Closing his eyes, Casey leaned heavily on his daughter. "Four weeks," he murmured, a lump forming in his throat. More of the coldness inside him dissipated. "Just four more weeks."
And then Ryland, the love of his life, would be home.