Work Text:
Eddie’s been indulging recently. A slice of cake here, a glass of juice there. A spoon of the ridiculously sugary cereal Chris still eats and a gentle swat to the arm in response. A cookie from the firehouse kitchen shared with Hen. A rocky road when he meets Linda for coffee.
A kiss for Buck, on his mouth, his cheek, his birthmark, his temple, stomach, thighs. Anywhere Eddie can get a hold of, really. He can do that now: indulge in his best friend’s beauty and stability.
Figuring it out wasn’t perfect. It involved a long, arduous set of sessions with Rosemary, Eddie’s new therapist. It involved a few too many evenings tipsy on Hen and Karen’s living room floor. It involved a truly embarrassing amount of pining while he watched Buck bring Theo into his home and parent with patience. But the important part is that Eddie got through it. He stumbled over a messy love confession in Buck’s kitchen and let himself fall apart in his arms. He’s here, now, indulging.
Eddie’s always had a sweet tooth. It just wasn’t a priority, but with Buck he can give in guilt free. Of course Eddie has to have one when his wonderful and perfect boyfriend bakes an entire tray of brownies for Theo. Or when Buck buys a sleeve of Eddie’s favourite cookies and conveniently leaves them in the snack cupboard. Or when Eddie sees Chris and Buck’s favourite candy is on sale and buys a few packs. Or when Theo has a bake sale and Buck slides a cupcake Eddie’s way with a wink.
Maybe the metaphor - allegory? - is running away from him. Indulging in his sweet tooth these days also looks like an intimacy with Buck, with another man, that Eddie never even considered a possibility. Beard burn when they make out, getting tackled and pinned down when they rough house with Theo, a large hand in his, having to lean up slightly for a kiss. Eddie indulges and indulges and cannot - doesn't want to - stop.
And he never has to. He and Buck are solid. They’ve said as much during quiet evenings when Theo’s asleep and Chris is pretending to be and they settle on the couch or bed. It’s not all that dissimilar to their old routine, beers and a chat once Chris was asleep, except now Eddie can reach out and tuck Buck’s head onto his shoulder.
Obviously, it’s scary. Trust is hard to come by, and Eddie’s never been able to trust himself. He’s still not entirely sure he won’t fuck this all up. But Buck is so devastatingly trusting of Eddie there’s enough for the both of them. And Eddie trusts Buck just as much.
They’ve got each other’s backs. They always have.