Chapter Text
Mello was (trying) to play Team Fortress 2 when the mail came at 7am.
Normally, he would have no reason to be up so early. But the passing of the Kira case exactly one year ago left him off the grid, unemployed, and so bored. Unlike the early mornings and late nights associated with the thrill of the mafia and the race against Near, his day to day life has slowed down ever since he faked his death at the end of the case.
It was mostly Matt’s idea, honestly. Both of them knew Near was going to crack the case wide open in less than 3 days. So, being the rash and young idiots they were, Mello and him decided to start the slate clean and run away (only after much begging from the latter). Idiotic, since if Mello hadn’t decided to keep his helmet on when kidnapping Takada and let her take a look at his face before writing his name on that scrap of the Death Note… there would be no need to fake their deaths, then.
Matturbat0r83298: what class are you picking
Matturbat0r83298: think im going scout
Another thing. Normally, Mello would have no interest in video games. The only times he’s ever taken them seriously were back in his and Matt’s Whammy days, when they would spend afternoons on the floor of their dorm playing Soulcalibur II.
But since he has nothing better to do, Mello supposes he could entertain Matt’s desires every so often. He opens up Team Fortress 2’s direct message tab.
full_motor_jacket: You know I’ve never played this before, just pick one for me
Matturbat0r83298: um
Matturbat0r83298: you should go like pyro or something
full_motor_jacket: Is he the one with the flamethrower???
Matturbat0r83298: yeah
full_motor_jacket: Am I going to embarrass myself by picking him…
Matturbat0r83298: youd embarrass yourself anyways
Matturbat0r83298: LMAO
Matturbat0r83298: also cuz of yur burn scar you should pick him
Matturbat0r83298: sorry
full_motor_jacket: Fuck off man
Matturbat0r83298: im joking dude
Matturbat0r83298: youll be fine all you gotta do is w+m1
full_motor_jacket: What?
full_motor_jacket: Youve gotta call me to explain what all this shit means
Matturbat0r83298: i dont like calling you know this you can figue it out
Before Mello could type out his response, a resounding knock on his apartment door startled him out of his seat. His eyes widened; had somebody found his hideout?
If it was mail, they would just leave it in his box or doorstep. Same thing with packages. Mello hadn’t even ordered anything, had no other friends to drop off heart-attack-inducing visits to his place. Nobody could be sending him anything, and Matt isn’t the type to prank him. And Matt’s not stupid enough to deliver anything straight to his place of living, that could be tracked by vengeful mafia goonies or pro-Kira anarchists or…
Near.
Son of a bitch, what on earth could he be playing at…
Mello gets his pistol from the bedside table for good measure.
If Near wants to threaten me, fine. Or if he wants to gloat or blackmail me, I’ll find a way out. He’s lucky Matt and I still helped him narrow down the Kira case before we ran away. It was a short, yet intense series of knocks. Not aggressive enough to be a threat yet not light enough to be casual. Were there footsteps leading away? Well, even if they wanted to stay, there would be nowhere to hide outside the door. The cameras are disabled so they can’t spy on me, and if they hid bugs in whatever they left then they won’t hear anything of importance. So why decide to highlight the dangerous importance of whatever is left outside the door if it’s not lethal…?
When he finally cracks open the door, the only thing Mello finds on his stupid ‘Welcome’ doormat is a strangely ornate, thin envelope.
Halle Lidner and Anthony Lester invite you to celebrate their marriage
5pm
Please await further details
“No fucking way.”
Matturbat0r83298: yo?????
Matturbat0r83298: yo???????
Matturbat0r83298: mello??
Matturbat0r83298: mels??
Matturbat0r83298: man its been five minutes stop leaving me on read are we gonna play or not
Matturbat0r83298: fine we can call whatever iguess
Matturbat0r83298: hop on
Matturbat0r83298: yo????
full_motor_jacket: Matt get off Team Fortress 2 look what I found on my doorstep
full_motor_jacket: Check your gmail
Matturbat0r83298: i dont see anything
full_motor_jacket: Your encrypted one damnit
Matturbat0r83298: no fucking way
full_motor_jacket: Wait Matt hold on I think Near just sent me something
full_motor_jacket: That pasty bighead found my gmail
Matturbat0r83298: why are you telling me this in tf2 dms man yourgonna get doxxed
Good morning,
Hello Mello. We see each other once again. Or rather, I see you. Hence why this email is scheduled to be sent when new motion is detected outside your apartment. You might have stayed vigilant, but you overestimate your ability to detect hidden cameras - maybe you’ve gotten rusty after being off the grid for so long. I would tell you to invest in a better security system, but you have Matt anyways.
I’m not stupid. Be thankful I didn’t send the government after your tail for your numerous crimes. I appreciate your help during the Kira investigation, so I let you be.
Consider this a casual invitation. Us at the SPK assure you the venue will not be bugged or recorded. In fact, you can take a look at it yourself if you’d like. Lidner and Lester would adore having you at their wedding. You and a… plus-one, should you have somebody who currently fits the bill. You remember Lidner, of course. Perhaps the things you two did in her bathroom even more.
Cheers,
N
Near,
I’m not gonna ask how you got my email. Or my address, or the information that I’m alive for that matter. Fuck off and let me live.
M
Mello,
I suppose I could. I know you, though. You miss that thrill, don’t you, the cat and mouse? Retirement breeds boredom, I know you can feel it. Imagine doing this for 40 years more, rotting in an apartment when nobody’s even looking for you, all of your enemies dead yet your paranoia still alive. I hardly take you for the hermit type. Leave that for Matt.
Indulge in some puzzlework. It’s low risk and high reward. Actually, it’s a wedding. How fun!
N
Run a background check on everything you can find on New York wedding venues funded by the US government. And anything you can find with the metadata of Near’s email and the lives of Halle Lidner and Anthony Lester.
i fucking guess
as long as you play tf2 with me afterwards
it finally released as a free to play and ive been looking forward to play it with you
On second thought, I'll call you
Full_motor_jacket started a call that lasted a minute.
Full_motor_jacket started a call that lasted a minute.
Full_motor_jacket started a call that lasted a minute.
Full_motor_jacket started a call that lasted a few seconds.
im in the middle of castlevania rn
You’re supposed to be doing research.
we’ve known each other for like 15 years you know im doing both
Full_motor_jacket started a call
“Hello?”
“What do you mean hello.”
Matt sighed on the other end of the line. “The information you sent me was vague. Halle Lidner and Anthony Lester have been living in NYC for a few years after the Kira case, working part time in the SPK and part time in their regular military jobs. My guess is that they’re marrying for governmental benefits.”
“Governmental benefits?” Mello reaches for a notepad.
“Yeah,” he responded, accompanied by the sound of mouse clicks and various other sound effects from the video game. “I found an anonymous reservation at the Manhattan Sanctuary Hall for August 5th, 5pm. Nobody would leave breadcrumbs this obvious but Near. Anyone who would actually want to stay anonymous wouldn’t be stupid enough to say they are.”
Writing down the address, the blonde man leans back in his chair and stares at the ceiling. “I see. And governmental benefits… I would guess you mean they’re marrying since one of them is about to be deployed, and they want the financial support of marriage?”
“At least that’s what I think.”
“But there’s another thing to this whole shitshow Near dragged us into…”
“Which is?” Matt says lazily.
Suddenly irritated at his friend’s lack of concern, Mello raises his voice and curls his hands into tight fists. “Why is he dragging us into this stupid game?”
Matt only snorts in response.
“No- no, I’m serious! He’s playing us like a damn fiddle! He must think we’re stupid! Obviously, Near’s trying to mess with us. There’s no motive behind any of this. And the fact he taunted me by bringing up me and Lidner’s one week stand… no, this is vile. Near’s vile. Maybe he’s just missing the chase.”
A few seconds pass, the only sounds being Mello’s heavy breathing, the clicking of a keyboard, and the crackle of a shitty microphone.
“The way I’m hearing it, the only one missing the chase is you, Mels.”
A sharp intake of breath.
“Fine. Whatever. Have fun with your game, Matt.”
Full_motor_jacket ended a call that lasted 7 minutes.
Near,
Manhattan Sanctuary Hall, 80 5th Ave, NYC?
M
Dear Mello,
Very good. I expected nothing less from you. Do you intend to RSVP?
N
Near,
Stop bullshitting me and tell me what this is really about. You ride the government’s lap all day and watch the whole damn world go by like it’s one of your little model train sets. Tell me why you want to interrupt my life. Haven’t I done enough for you already?
M
Mello,
Firstly, my toy sets are more amusing than whatever you have going on. I’m not doing this for myself. Besides, I’ve already told you why. Or is your neurocognitive ability suffering after your staged heart attack?
Do you intend to bring any plus-ones?
N
Wanna go to the wedding with me as a plus-one
like as partners or friends???
Whichever one will piss Near off more
Near,
I guess Matt
M
Mello,
Thank you very much. I deducted there would be a 57% chance you would say that. I’ll see you in a week, then.
N
Near,
Fuck you.
M