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there's a trap door in your heart that I'm free-falling through by sunsetskylane
Fandoms: Men's Hockey RPF
27 Jul 2026
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Summary
Connor thinks he’d know Minten in the dark, even without the porch light, just by the way his eyes glint in the moonlight. He knows the slope of Minten’s shoulders, and the shape of his body in a full set of pads, and the way his hands curl in his gloves. Or he used to. Connor thinks that maybe he shouldn’t remember these things still; shouldn’t be trying to add the shape of Minten’s lips, or the gentle furrow of his brow to this list.
“Connor?” Minten asks.
“Sorry,” Connor shakes his head a little bit, like it might stop him from staring. “You know, I don’t think you’ve ever called me that.”
Or: what came before.
Series
- Part 2 of no room in frame for two
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there's a trap door in your heart that I'm free-falling through
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Woooo, I barely survived the "brutalist" and this prequel just knocked me out of the park and finished the job.
This is nothing but a labour of love. 18K words of love, kindness, and so much dedication. I have said earlier that your talent knows no bounds but this work really solidifies that compliment. It does make me wonder, how a story in a language not my own be able to dismantle me completely, throw my heart in a thousand different directions, and bewitch me in such a beautiful way. Gosh author, how I adore you, your story, and your mind. May you forever find joy in writing and reading and in discovering the beauty of the world. May good stories, beautiful inspirations, and limitless arts find their ways to you everyday.
This story feels like I am following the skate marks on the ice. These two were skating thousand kilometers per hour living their lives and somehow the readers can see the skate marks they left behind. Connor reflects everything through hockey. From locker room talks that magnify his insecurities to falling in love with Fraser through their time on the ice. He loves through hockey milestones, too. From draft day, on the roads without Frase, to first win, first NHL puck. Fraser sees the world through structure. The beautiful walk on their first days. To the Plexus No. 47 full of softness in a very intimidating building. Maybe it is a tell. Since something concrete-ish from the outside like the Frist Art Museum can house such beauty and softness in the inside. Maybe Fraser's physical appearance and the social expectations that come with it never has the power to permit him from having such a tender and limitless heart.
The side characters in this story are beautiful too. From Lina to other Blackhawks players. They help create such a beautiful background to explore what is it like to be in a closet. To be constantly reminded that you have to keep up the lies. To understand why so many fight to be out of the closet. To remind them and the readers why the fight for equality is a fight worth participating in. And yet, these characters are absolutely a delight. They create both pressure and comfort. Like Fraser pointed out, they can pretend for a while that this is their life and everything is normal. They remind us the duality of life and we can absolutely find joy in the trying times.
Melanie is such a boss. She went from the shock of seeing her son being injured to realising her son is hiding half his life away from her. I think she realises the fight that Connor is fighting and respects that in her own way.
You have written these two so beautifully to the point I am envious. Because how can you adore someone to the point of writing them in such a human way. To explore the human nature and yet to remind us that they are brave too. Fraser took the first steps (confessing his sexuality, holding hands, kiss on the cheek, sex, housemaking) despite the lingering trauma from years of conditioning himself. Connor fights tooth and nail for Fraser (to be with him on his draft days, to share the same apartment, to have him as his emergency contact, to learn how to take care of Fraser, to notice the small things that the old Connor would never consider). Even in the fear, both of them have shown us strength.
As a reader, it feels like watching two brilliant people skating on the ice, they took the jump and when they landed, the ice shook. I can hear the sound of it, the mark they left, and how their skate lines intertwined. This is, in its honest form, a beautiful work about relationship, human nature, and arts. Thank you for writing this and sharing this with us. I am in awe and I hope you know that you have left such an impact on my mind. This series will definitely stay with me for years <3
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