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"And that's why I think your training is too light on your comrades. They won't learn anything if you aren't pushing them to their limits!"
The captain's soft laugh next to him was something that Lohen would want to have engrained in his memory forever. It was light, full of amusement. He could tell that Illuga wasn't taking his advice to heart, but when he looked at him, the dim setting sun right behind him, creating an almost ethereal looking halo around him while he bore a soft smile as he laughed…his words not being taken to heart didn't seem so bad.
"Is that how it is then? I don't think making my men fear me is the way to go either." Illuga retorted lightly, eyes opening and gaze turned towards him. His smile had never left his lips. For a moment he let his gaze fall down to them but he quickly flickered it back up when Illuga tilted his head just a little.
Shit. Did he notice?
Turning his head away from the man, arms folding across his chest he nodded firmly. "Yes, actually. And for the record my men fear me in the way you're supposed to fear your superiors. My training pushes everyone to their limits, making sure that they are prepared for any and all outcomes in the field." The captain next to him hummed softly.
"I suppose that's one way to put it. Though, still a shock to walk into your camp and hearing the dread in their voices because they failed that day's training exercise." Lohen smiled to himself, the image of his men shaking in their boots, unable to hold their rifles steady as he stood on the other end of the shooting range. They feared missing their target more than they feared accidentally hitting him. Priceless. "I still think you could lighten up a little, don't you want your men to…well-"
Lohen raised a brow, turning his head towards the white haired man sitting next to him. Illuga was no longer looking at him, his eyes cast elsewhere as he rubbed the back of his neck, a sheepish expression over his face. "Like you?" he finally finished.
He huffed, rolling his eyes. "They do." Illuga flashed him a quick, skeptical look before he evened his expression out, clearly something he tried not to let slip through. "Well-" his expression threw him off a little and he turned away, suddenly feeling like he was scrambling to find the right words to describe what he was trying to do, what his men felt towards him. "They respect me and it's not like I leave them hanging high and dry out there! I just…they fall short in so many things and archons above the drinking. Hardly a day they're all not hungover while I'm trying to instruct them." Lohen looked towards his lap, brows furrowed as he clenched his gloved hands in his lap. He didn't need them to like him, they were hardly any fun anyways. He'd much rather be feared than be liked anyways. Fear got people to listen without question. If you were scared then you didn't hesitate to listen, you didn't try and push back against what was being told to you.
Illuga shifted next to him, reminding him of his presence. "Sorry, I'm sure they do like you."
Lohen frowned. I only want you to like me.
Silence followed as he had nothing to say back to him. What was he supposed to say? That it was alright? Push back and say that he doesn't need everyone to flock to him like they do you? No. None of that sounded needed and why make an awkward situation more awkward? It was a miracle Illuga had even had a free evening, that he had agreed to spend it with him on the only request that it wasn't to spar. The wild hunt had been rough for him lately and he just wanted to relax. Sure that had completely thrown his initial wants right out the window and he had to quickly come up with something else to do if he wanted Illuga to stay with him.
That quick thinking is what wound them out here, sitting on the shore of a beach with the dim setting sun of the day. It would've been the perfect backdrop for a spar, clashing spears, adrenaline high, blood pumping-
Instead he's got sand on his ass and the lapping waves on a sea that welcomed the moon and the cold like it was second nature. The chill of the night was slowly creeping in, this nation being far more cold than what he's used to back home. Him and the knights have been in Nod Krai for a while now, but even still, the chill of the day and the frigid temperatures at night were still not something that he was quite used to. The cold vision on his back did nothing to aid him in withstanding the cold, if anything he felt like it was responsible for the chill to creep in easier.
Still, it did not stop him from trying to do something with the silence, to try and quell the restless feeling he had just sitting here.
Ice slowly formed on his fingertips, frosting over the gloves over his hands as he slowly rubbed them together to create a thin sheet of it. From that sheet of ice he slowly built more off of it, slowly forming a small stem, all the while scorning himself a little.
Look at you, so desperate for time with the light keeper you've subject yourself to sitting almost in the water just so he wouldn't leave.
Love was a distraction. Drew your focus elsewhere. No one had ever caught his attention, so his focus had always been on his work. Day in and day out, chasing after each thrill, searching out for new ones, laughing in the face of danger and wiping blood off of his face.
He had laughed at Varka initially when they had first arrived out here. He had watched as the great Knight of Boreas fell so quickly for one of the light keepers, a tall man with tired eyes, long purple hair. It was the first time he had seen the Grand Master trip up so bad. It was comical the way Varka had initially faltered around the man, but beamed when that all the same made the man he fancied laugh and smile.
The same thing that happened this night.
Lohen truly didn't understand it until he was in the midst of a battle with some wild hunt that had formed nearby, he was confident handling it on his own, but then a light brighter than the sun it felt like had blew by. The world seemed to stop when he turned to look at where it came from as a figure came running into the scene. His eyes were determined and set, a pole-arm gripped tightly in his hands as he joined this small battle and dealt with the monsters in such fluid, practiced motions. He hadn't even noticed he had stopped fighting for a moment, hadn't noticed the wounds across his body, hadn't even cared that someone else had come in and stole his enjoyment for the night.
All that had mattered in that moment was this man who had come out of nowhere. It was over the moment the fighting ended and this stranger had turned towards him, determination melting away as their eyes met and then worry replacing it.
It had ended for him even more when this man rushed over and then spoke. Archons when he spoke-
"You're one of the knights from Mondstadt aren't you? You shouldn't be fighting the wild hunt alone, you're hurt-"
It had honestly been embarrassing how long it had taken him to snap back into reality, face flushing in an unfamiliar warmth. "S-sorry could you repeat that?"
"You're hurt."
Only then had he noticed the stinging on the front of his thigh. He quickly looked down at the slash on his leg, how the blood slowly seeping from it was sinking into the white of his pants. "Oh! That? That's nothing-" He tried to brush it off. The man in front of him looked even more worried though.
"If it's not treated properly it could become infected. I have supplies in a camp nearby we can get you patched up."
When this man of whom he still did not know the name of gently grabbed his hand to start leading him towards this supposed camp of his, it really ended.
He understood Varka after that. All the lies and excuses to go running off towards the light keepers. Though this was one the first times that he had been able to successfully pull the ratnik away from his duties, away from his paperwork that he was actually good at doing.
Lohen smiled a little to himself, looking down at the icy stem he had made as he thought of all the paperwork that he has yet to do. Varka was probably off at the Flagship getting drunk with Flins anyways.
Carefully sliding the stem down in his hands he started to form more of those paper thin sheets, carefully creating and bending, freezing all over again sheet after sheet. With each added sheet more depth was added, slowly taking shape of a rose. It started out looking more like a closed bud, but slowly grew into an open flower, chilled and perfect, a copied technique from his mother who he had once watched decorate a little cake with the flowers out of frosting.
Small sheet, press, and turn over and over again until you create your desired shape and size. He did not need to fumble around with messy icing, grab damp paper, all he needed was the ice that bent to his will because of his vision. With each new press he could feel the chill from repeated use slipping through the fabric of his gloves, its frost spreading around his fingers. Ever since gaining his vision he has learned that too much usage,especially like this slowly made the cold try to start spreading to the marrow of his bones but it was hardly a deterrent.
When his hands started to tremble, the cold started to sting, it just made him want to press on further, try and dig it in deeper. Though this time, warmth did stop it from spreading. His eyes widened a little when dark gloved hands rested over his, slowly manipulating the small sculpted rose out of his hands. It was set gently onto the sand before the hands came back, covering his and making him more away of how they shook.
"I'm sorry but it didn't seem like you were going to stop anytime soon." Illuga said, eyes firm but soft as they looked at him. Lohen clenched his hands a little tighter underneath Illuga's hold.
"I wasn't." He admitted. "If the cold stopped me then I wouldn't be here now would I?" He flashed a sly smile. Illuga sighed, a small smile poking at his lips. "And I would probably be the worst cryo vision holder if I couldn't handle the cold."
"I wouldn't say that. Do you think those who hold pyro are unable to get burned? If you push yourself too hard you might get frostbite. I don't think even the infamous Vice Captain of the Knights of Favonius could continue to fight on if his hands were shaking too much because of the cold."
"Hm, I think I still could. But you know-" Lohen shifted his hands a little, opening them up and turning them to slide them into the exposed sleeves of the white sweater the ratnik captain wore. The warmth there was much more intense, and he could not miss the way that Illuga had made a quiet choked sound as he did this, his face heating up a little. "I think I could use a little extra warmth just in case~"
"S-Sir Lohen." Illuga pleaded, eyes closing with his brows furrowed a little. Despite how he sounded like he wanted to say this was something inappropriate, the captain did not tell him to stop, did not pull his hands back. A futile plead that did not mean anything, so, he kept his hands there, savoring the warmth that the other man emitted.
In the few times he's been privileged to be this close to Illuga, that was one of the things he's noticed. He was warm. Incredibly so. Lohen desperately wanted to crawl into that warmth, steal it from a man who wore a sleeveless sweater in a nature that rarely got kissed by the sun's warmth. If he slid that coat of his off his shoulders more, let it fall down his back…
As these thoughts slipped into his mind he tested the waters more, sliding his hands up further into those sleeves, wondering just how far they went up his arms. The warmth got more intense the further in his hands slipped, and he wished here that his own gloves had been removed so that he could feel the skin underneath. It did not cease to allow him to feel the strength that was hidden underneath his coat though.
A wave of heat washed down his body as he felt around a little, melting into the warmth and the muscle that was kept away from his gaze. The desire to strip the man of his coat grew, but so did the desire to feel those arms, his hands holding different parts of his body. How would they feel on his face, around his neck or caressing his body? How would they feel wrapped around-
Illuga coughed. Blinking a few times he looked up, away from his arms but refusing to remove his hands from them. The ratnik was much more red than before, cheeks flushed such a pretty shade of red over his fair skin. He did not get distracted by watching the way his Adam's apple bobbed when he swallowed.
"Sir Lohen." He tried again, a tried firmness in his voice. It did not have the desired effect he knew Illuga probably wanted. Lohen only hummed in response, giving his arm a small squeeze. Fuck how was he hiding all of this? "Are your hands sufficiently warmed now?" Straight to the point, no beating around any bushes with this guy.
"Maybe, maybe not. I quite like them where they are." Instead of a squeeze he gently rubbed his thumbs against the muscle right underneath his grip. Illuga shuddered lightly. "And I think you like them here too."
The other man's reaction was quick, face heating up considerably more before he was the one pulling his arms back, bearing his own to the cold night air as they were forcefully pulled back into the open. He frowned a little, arms suspended up for only a moment before he was huffing, bringing them back towards his body. With arms folded across his chest he huffed, looking out at the ocean in front of them.
"Aw come on, I liked it there."
"I know, and that is the problem. You do not belong there."
"Says only you. Hiding all of that underneath that coat of yours."
He could basically hear the way he bristled at that, flustered. "I am not hiding anything! It is proper cover given the climate!"
"And yet-" Lohen started, glint in his eyes as he faced the man again. He reached out a hand, ignoring the way Illuga tried to pull back a little so he could brush his coat off of his shoulder, exposing the scarred skin to the world. "You're the one wearing a sweater without sleeves. I can't tell Captain, are you trying to stay warm or trying to cool off?"
"That." Illuga pushed aside his hand before righting his coat, pulling it back over his shoulder firmly. "Is none of your concern." Lohen rolled his eyes, hand back in his lap.
The silence between them stretched on again. He wondered if it bothered Illuga at all. The other man hadn't left yet, no claim that he needed to head back, that it was late, that there was something that he needed to do, just silence and the waves.
Lohen's eyes drifted down towards the discarded rose on the sand, picking the frozen sculpture up and brushing off the sand that had clung to it. Despite the drastic temperature difference from Mondstadt, it was still warm enough for the rose to have started to melt. He gently brushed his hand over its surfaces, solidifying the structure of it once more. It was akin to a flower who's outer petals had started to wilt and bend, but frankly, he found he liked it better this way.
Illuga broke their silence again, voice a lot calmer than before. "What are you going to do with it?" Lohen twirled the ice in his hands a little, letting the edges of it catch in the final moments of the sun.
"I dunno, probably leave it here, let it melt. Just ice."
"You don't want to keep it?"
"Keep it? Ha!" He laughed, holding the rose out towards Illuga. "Do you not see that it is made of ice? I'd have to continually freeze it in order to keep it unless I planted it up on Dragonspine. I can make a dozen of these anytime I want anyways."
Illuga looked at the flower extended in front of him. He hadn't been holding it out for him to take, but his fingers held no resistance when once again Illuga's brushed his, slowly taking the rose from his hands. He raised a brow as Illuga inspected it, turning it over in his hand. After a small inspection, a warm golden light slowly seeped from where the light keeper held it, spreading slowly throughout the entirety of the rose.
His face scrunched up in confusion for a moment before the soft crackling sound his ears and rather surprise crossed his features. Crystallize.
"There." his voice was soft, but proud and soon he was holding it back towards him. "Now you can keep it forever." Lohen looked down at the rose, then back up to meet his eyes. He almost reached out to take it, but instead he found his hand pushing it towards Illuga instead.
"Nah, I'm good. Like I said, I could make them anytime I want."
He didn't catch whatever expression Illuga made after he said that, but he did know that when they packed it up for that night, with one final glance to where they had been sitting, that crystallized rose was not there.