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DO-DOO-DO DO DO DO DOOOOOOOO, accompanied by the crowing of a rooster rang out across the five gardens neighbouring its enclosure as the sun peaks over the hills. In the house next door, it does fuck all to awaken the girl sleeping there.
This girl is Lana, student at Paper School, and child who has witnessed more intestines being eaten than most wild animals. She lies in a t pose on her bed, face down, with her arms out of the bed so her hands may rest on the nearby bedside cabinets, the sock puppets ever present on said hands are the reason why, "sleeping" covered by napkins and sponges for pillows. Lana's alarm goes off, waking her "Guhhhhh...zzzzz…" *SLAP* "H-huh?! oh! thanks! Lana says as her right hand puppet slaps her awake, its ever punctual, given despite appearances, it never sleeps like its sibling on her other hand. "Less thanking and more showering" the puppet "says" (She schizophrenically mimes) "I have been lying under a dirty napkin for eight hours, I CRAVE STIMULATION TO MY EXISTENCE" "
Oh don't mind him, he's been all grouchy ever since you bought that new pack of socks last week" the other puppet replies to Lana, "rolling" out of bed. "Unlike someone, I know your to sweet to ever get rid of us, Lannie" it purrs, nuzzling into her cheek like it has actual sensory nerves or a purpose beyond being a vessel for Lana to pretend she's not alone. "Oh you!" Lana squeals, giving the pair a kiss on the "head" before finally rising and undressing for the shower.
Unlike most days, her father has finally got the day off and so has not headed to work as usual, whereas normally he's gone by the time she's up, not to be seen until 5 that night. So Lana's pleasantly surprised when she, now dressed, passes their room to find both her parents in their bed. Her mom works from home, and so just sleeps until Lana leaves anyway. Giving them peace, she heads downstairs to the kitchen, pouring herself some good old fashioned Kellogg cereal-not that it matters apparently, Kevin went on a rant about how Kellogg own all your cereal somehow, despite the name on the box's being clearly different- and water, as hydration is important! the left hand takes the duty of bringing the spoonful to her lips, as the right hand one, not in the mood to talk, starts sipping down the water, flowing through the fabric and into Lana's arm, where her third digestive tract in her arm pulls it through the hand and into her stomach. you know, one of her very well known features, which we all know of. By the time Lana bounces to the front door with time to spare, her parents are still asleep, her mother awake enough to shout "have a good day!" before Lana begins the gruelling 20 minute walk to School. Its a good day when she's only assailed by a few pit bulls on her way there!
"LANA! hey girl!" From Petunia hits Lana as she steps through the School doors "Been waiting ages for you! Lizzy and I need to borrow you quickly" Lizzy nods "Real quickly, believe me, your so...novel, our followers love you, Lannie, you and your puppets and whatever is wrong with you, it makes you stand out to the camera. Just give us that smile of yours, going on the thumbnail, new series of ours on Mondays you can feel free to watch." Lizzy pep talks Lana as she pulls Lana against the locker, only stopping for a quick bicker with Petunia-"Jesus Liz, what was that?" "what? she is one of the SS-" before the three of them, and Lana's left hand puppet give a smile to the camera as right is still being a grouch.
"Thanks Lana, your always there when we need you" Petunia says as she gives her a single gummy bear, popping it in lefties mouth, "And so sunny and willing, unlike some people." "Yeah, thanks Lannie" Lizzy comments as she's already half a hall down, Petunia shooting her a slightly darker look, which is weird given how those two are like, max level BBF'S, before following after her. "Bye!! hey! I'm up for anything else!" Lana calls down after them, although Lizzy is out of earshot and Petunia only gives a quick hand of acknowledgement.
"Lana, you ok? I saw Lizzy and Petunia-"
"Bubble!" Lana calls out, giving the approximation of a cheek pinch due to bubble not having cheeks. "Lizzy just needed a pic! there doing a series on Mondays, I think I'm going to be in it loads I hope, their followers love me and lefty and righty!" Lana exclaims, making up for Bubbles lack of cheeks by pinching her own, which is how she misses the sympathetic look Bubble gives her. "Lana, I don't wanna be a downer, but you know how those two, Lizzy especially, can go a bit far with trying to rake in views for their stuff, and I don't put it past them to pull some Zip style stuff with you on camera."
Lana and Bubble start walking along, as if summoned, Oliver, Edward and...no Zip, apparently, stride in, and they don't want to deal with those bums. "Zip stuff? Petunia and Lizzy wouldn't do that Bubble" Lana chirps, only getting a genuine look of distress from Bubble "Lana, they don't like like you, especially not Lizzy, I heard her just Friday calling you an SS member-" "Right! special squad! im one of their star features!" Bubble gives the nearby locker a kick...weird! what's got her in a twist? "Lana! she means special in special squad as in special Ed! your too nice for them, I get you like making people happy, and you still want to re-connect with Petunia after how long we just haven't spoken with her seriously, but you need to open your eyes you airhead! I wish I could be like you sometimes." Bubble almost sighs "You more bubbly than my whole body, you know? not as dumb as those two or the bullies think you are, always on the bright side, this is why we all love you!" they come to a stop outside geography, with no sign of Claire, Engel, or Abbie on the way like normal (although Riley did give Lana a really big smile and a haircut, all while showing her knife throwing abilities! its a shame Bubble punted her) "Awww, Bubble!" Lana practically babbles in happiness "your pretty lovely yourself! no mouth and still spewing joy all over me!" Lana gives Bubble a big ole hug, easy given Bubble weighs nothing, as they head inside for their first class of the day, and the newest in Paper School, Geography!
Lana and Bubble take a seat with this fox guy who neither can name, much to their shame, and thank their lucky stars Zip isn't here today as the door to the class flies open.
"Ok! sit and shut up you animals!" the voice comes from a figure bending under the doorway to fit in, which has Lana and Bubble almost pissing themselves, because Miss Circle?! on a Monday is not the schedule, and might push them into buying Miss Bloomie's behind the school "stress inhibitors" but according to the nametag on his shirt, and the lack of a massive mop of hair and giant calcium canisters, this is apparently not miss Circle. "To start, and I know no matter how many times I say this, your going to keep whispering and messing it up, because at least one of you"-he shoots a look at bubble-"Don't have brains, or any that work"-he then looks at Lana and a few others-"I am MISTER. COMPASS. Compass! not Miss Circle! I am her husband, not her! I do not like Oreos, and no, despite how little you think of her, I am not her brother, we checked and are not complete degenerates. Say "Understood Mister Compass". "Understood, Mister Compass" the dazed class parrots, because hearing the teacher you all hate has enough game to pull a man while most of them cant confess to their mirror, let alone their real crushes, is quite harrowing. "Very good, now, welcome to Geography."
What follows is a surprisingly sedate lesson. Mister Compass is, thankfully, while a grump and not the most entertaining, is not a murderous savage like his wife, and he actually explains his subject in normal human speak instead of Miss Circles tendency to under explain in her hurry to stimulate herself via writing on the board and plotting when she can next sneak up behind Abbie to knock him off his chair. He even teaches them new things! Its near the end of the period, when Lana decides she wants to see if she can cheer him up. When he's leaning over her, Bubble and the fox guy (Can they really not remember his name? she feels horrible!)shoulders to make sure they are working, she tries to start up a convo. "Mister Compass" Lana begins, despite Bubble's eyes screaming oh god no. "Is this your first time teaching? your making this easy!" "Yeah mister C!" Leftie says "Your-" Lana, Leftie and righty-who is still in a huff- are cut off by Mister Compass "Are you trying to be friendly? with handwriting like this? Circle mentioned you to me, you went from failing math to passing, and that and royally upset her. I wouldn't mind offering her up my own failures" he says nastily, and Lana wisely shuts up as Compass returns to his oversized desk, Bubble gives her a pat on the back and a mumble of "just like I said, too nice"
the bell for the end of class rings, and Mister Compass is surprisingly stood by the door and giving them all goodbyes as they go. "Goodbye...yes see you later...have a good day, you two" Compass gives Bubble and Lana a grin not to dissimilar to his wife's, although it doesn't reach his eyes. Poor guy is still trying to figure out how he wants to be seen, and honestly, given how unenthusiastic he seems, he'll probably drop trying to be scary and wont kill anyone like the fundamental three do, just be a grouch.
Lana and Bubble are about to break off for their next class, when Engel, Abbie and Claire finally show up!
"Abbie!" Lana squeals, giving the apple boys cheeks a pinch "Hey Lana, hey bubble! so sorry we never caught you before first class, Edward had this new drone that was spraying soap over the road" Claire apologizes "We kind of slipped into a ditch, but you wont believe it, Miss Bloomie was late and driving past, she actually picked us up!" Claire exclaims with a little too much happiness for having been in an enclosed space with a serial killer/drug dealer/weapon smuggler/crypto miner/mad scientist/ scam call centre owner/general bitch. Abbie and Engel look less fond of the memory anyway.
Bubble breaks off for her next class with Engel and Claire. "Lizzy called her what?" is the last word she catches from Engel as they round the corner, leaving just her and Abbie for Miss Emily's history. "Sorry I wasn't there at the start again, L-lana" Abbie gives her a smile way to apologetic for the circumstance, which she just needs to make bigger "Abbie! its not your fault Oliver and Edward are miserable! stop being all sorry for something you never did" she says, giving him another cheek pinch enjoying watching his smile fold up into a dumb ol' grin "Your going to need it anyhow, you have geography at the end of today, and Miss Circle's husband is the teach-" "W-WHAT?! they gave that guy a class?!
"Oh! you know about him?"
Abbie sniffles as he thinks back into one of his many, many unhappy memories "Yeah, I got a-a grade above fail in math a few months ago, so she couldn't eat me, so she and her husband just pelted me with chair legs for an hour" Lana kind of regrets mentioning this as Abbie is now spiralling a little, but he ends up squeezing into her for comfort, so maybe it was worth it a lil, now she can give him a real mood lift. She grabs his cheeks again, and forces his face into a smile "Don't worry Abbie i'll..." Ok, she cant do shit to either giant teacher.
"Always be there for you! yeah! Bubble, Engel and Claire too! and let me tell you a secret~" She pulls Abbie a single step to the left in the middle of the very crowded hallway, good thing the average paper School resident has brain damage. "I think I have a plan to get rid of Miss Circle!" Abbie's eyes practically fill with hopes and dreams "R-r-really? your sure? Engel said that, and he had to hide in that bear corpse to get away, a-and Calvin also tried, a-and...I can still see his face-" Lana pulls on his cheeks again, eliciting an adorable "mmmmp" from the apple of apples "Don't worry Abbie, trust me, just wait till next week!
Lana has absolutely zero plan to deal with Miss Circle, let alone her equally massive partner, but Abbie's smile makes her to silly things, and righty knows, that explains the egregious side eye he's giving her. But she just cant stand Abbie being upset, or anyone really! ever since nursery she's always hated frowns, seeing her fellows underdeveloped, ugly, doughy faces frown has always given her the urge to turn them upside down through any means, that's how leftie and righty came to be, and that was a good thing! besides, Engel will probably join in and do actual planning given how much time he spends brainstorming ways to get rid of the teachers that never work-and she still has nightmares about the plunger attempts-but if it means Abbie is happy...
"Oh look! Miss Emily's already!" they have indeed walked all the way to Miss Emily's during their conversation, they have actually been walking repeatedly into the nearby wall next to it, so engrossed are they. "H-huh, I never noticed" Abbie mumbles "and its a-almost class time, good, I don't want to think about Miss Circle and Compass anymore, i-i keep getting flashbacks to...t-to..." Lana looks at Abbie, he's spiralling harder than when she told him Compass had a class! this requires drastic measures, a full on cheek squash, with pac-man noises for the fun of it, as everyone loves fun! "What Abbie? what did they do to you, you can tell me!"
"I-not to me, but...y-y-y-y-you know rule #134?" Lana's own smile fades at that "...Don't eat ass in the halls? that rule?" "Yeah, it w-was an in service day, I left my notebooks, seven of them, in the School and I rounded this corner a-and-" Lana smooshes his cheeks so hard he cant open his adorable, apple smelling mouth "Ok we don't wanna be late, come on Abbie!"
Miss Emily's class is one of the ones Abbie and Lana are good at. They sit together, and so they can put their heads together, quite literally if Abbie needs it, and use a highly developed method it took the pair of them an entire week to come up with, called "thinking big". Why did the Europeans cooperate with the kingdom of Dahomey for slavery? they thought for a long time, until they connected the words on Lana's book "Dahomey" and "Slavers" to "labour" which they then connect to "sugar" and finally "money" and boom, they now get why that thing happened! it gets quite easy if they just compile all the reasons then work through them, Miss Emily likes the method too!
"Oh you two~" Miss Emily says, giving them her ever smug smile "normal people call that a mind map, you stupid babies" she chirps, giving Lana and Abbie a thwack on the nose with her ruler and earning a squeak and giggle out of Abbie and Lana respectively "But your grades have gone up, so if it works, it works! if you ever need me to point out the glaringly obvious techniques we've been harking on about since primary school, well, then come to me~" Miss Emily then leaves them so she can then bend over Cubie for getting penicil shavings over the desk, again. "Wow Abbie! we're finally doing something right!" Lana exclaims, causing Abbie to zone out, because yeah, he likes Lana happy, actually happy and not just her usual perpetually sunny state. This earns him a glare out of righty "You seem to like Lana smiling? well maybe she would smile more, if you would MAN UP-At the age of fourteen yes, drastic times require drastic measures- AND ACTUALLY STUDY SO YOU TWO HAVE SPARE TIME TO ACTUALLY-"
Righty is then strangled by Leftie, chastising him for his rudeness and forced under the desk. "Sorry Abbie! I don't know what's with him today" Lana pouts "I-its...fine? I think?" honestly, he's still not to sure how autonomous Lana's puppets actually are or if she just insulted him for being a wuss...which might be fair "L-let just keep going, the s-slave trade wont learn itself aaaand that c-came out wrong?!" The apple boy quickly realizes, now keeping and eye over his shoulder, because being a teenager in a discussion involving race, taught by the Schools only black educator leads to disaster, seriously, Oliver actually got punished for certain comments and was for once, not dug out of his pit by his evil ass girlfriend...actually, she's an entire enigma altogether in this discussion as she seems to have a perpetual tan despite never touching grass, and that's not getting into the demon thing. "Don't worry Abbie, they'd ever punish you, your to sweet and they know it! uhhh, you'll need to write though, I think Leftie snapped Righty's neck, and im right handed."
RNNNNNGG
The ringing of the bell sounds, and its lunchtime now! and the gang is altogether at their usual table, which we all know the position of, i'm sure.
"Lana, you think you could give me a little help at some point this week?" Engel pipes up, putting off eating his Paper School issued radioactive gruel "Miss Sasha is making us all draw crushed 3d cans, but I just cant get 3d down."
"Ohhh! no problem Engel!"
Lana pulls leftie and righty out of the gruel, which they had been sucking into themselves and into her arms, and dives over the table to force Engel's face into a brighter smile "Ill show you just how to do it~!" "Many thanks, Lana your proficiency is always appreciated"
Engel gives a thumbs up, just in time to expose his ribs to a light Elbow from Bubble and Claire.
"Proficiency, really Engel?" Claire asks "Remind me to send him tik-toks from Zip, that brainrot will bring him right down to our level" Bubble recommends, and she's probably right, it is Zip after all.
"...That reminds me, Lana, Petunia and Lizzy recorded you for their Facebook-" "Instagram, Engel" Bubble not so quietly whispers. "Instagram, yeah! now, I cant accurately attest, I haven't seen them, but...well, you know how Petunia and especially Lizzy can be, always a bit rude?" Lana blinks, she has seen Lizzy and Petunia video some questionable things-like the plunger incident, but Petunia is nice to her! Lizzy is never mean outwardly, and they both look so happy just doing their things-
As if summoned, Lana's thoughts are interrupted when Lizzy...slides in? she's coated in some shiny substance, which thankfully is revealed to be soap when she smashes against their table. "Lizzy! here grab righty!"
"Unhand me you slippery, sleezy-" Righty is interrupted when Lizzy grabs them, the fabric of the sock negates the slipperiness, pulling Lizzy carefully to her feet. "L-lana, hey!" Lizzy sputters out, wiping at her lips with the paper of Engels wrap "Thanks! your getting an upvote! now, can you help me to the locker-room? ill need a towel to dry and allow me to shove Edwards drone up his ass!" Abbie, Engel and Claire all shoot up at that. "D-drone? like from this morning?" Abbie pipes up.
The young apple lad is soon validated, when Oliver, Edward and a drone appear in the door Lizzy just slipped through, the little shits laughing away. "See Oliver? I told you I can pilot these things in hallways!" Edward cackles pulling on the controls of his Drone and making It backflip mid air. "Oliver, Edward! you unfilmable pieces of shit!" Lizzy cries, trying to head over but slipping again. "Oliver, you fiend!" Engel cries and points at them "That's the drone that sent us into that ditch! we ended up needing to get driven by miss Bloomie! we could have died!"
"She's not that bad Engel-ouch!" Claire tries to pipe up, only to be elbowed by bubble, who seems pretty fond of that nowadays.
"Yeah, and im happy you didn't" Oliver points back, with his soap eating grin "If you died, id have fewer idiots to enjoy crying at me, like your doing right now. Hit em Eddie!"
Edward pilots the drone, now unloading liquid soap like a waterfall, over to the table, where everyone sits rather helplessly...everyone except Lana, of course. Lana pushes Abbie and Lizzy behind her and jumps onto the table and reaches for the drone, begging Leftie and righty to forgive her as she shoves them into the opening from which the suds flow, her socks fabric making her immune to the slippery affects, and with frankly alarming strength given she's pushing against a hefty force, swings it into a nearby decorative pillar, smashing it.
"WOOO" "THATS MY PUPPET GIRL!" "I JUST DONT LIKE EDWARD!" cheers rise up from all over the lunch hall, Lana having saved their already inedible lunches from being covered in soap. Even Lizzy has taken time to clap over recording!
"Aw man, I was going to drink the leftovers, welp, lets bounce Eddie...Ed?" Oliver turns around, only to be swiftly turned back around by a kick to the face from an enraged Petunia, landing on top of the already KO'd Edward. Zip should be thankful she was off today.
"Lizzy!" Petunia cries, rushing over to Lizzy, crushing her in a slippery hug. "This is the last time I leave you alone around those two!" Petunia apologizes profusely for apparently going to the bathroom and leaving her, but Liz waves her off "Don't twist yourself hun, its my fault for thinking anyone would find Edward filmable!" she then turns to Lana. "Thanks Lannie, and im sorry...real sorry. Again, the people like you, if you want to ever drop into a clip, be our guest" Petunia nods along "And if you don't want to be, then that's fine to, right Liz?" "...Yeah, I suppose I owe you, thanks again!" Lizzy gives Lana a pat on the back, before being carried by Petunia to avoid slipping again on the way to the locker-room. "...Huh, what's she saying sorry for?" Lana muses aloud
Claire gives Lana a shoulder rub from behind "Good job Lana! your our hero of the hour, are your..uhh, socks ok?" Lana looks down and leftie and righty, the pair are coughing up soap like no tomorrow "GHK...happy to-HNK- help, Lana!" Leftie gives weakly "You! again you...you make my life miserable, never shall I forgive you!" Righty replies, poor guy. Lana gives the pair a kiss before sitting next to Abbie again "Phew! that was a tough workout there, heavy! can I borrow your drink, Abbie?" Abbie however is elsewhere. His face is blank, and his big ole eyes are shining adorably, and that flush...must be hot, he is wearing a fluffier jumper today.
RNNNNNNNG
Lana is interrupted from her Abbie appreciation by the ring of the lunch bell. The day is almost over now, just science with Miss Bloomie and Claire thankfully, then, home time.
Lana is sitting in Miss Bloomie's class with Claire. you can tell its Miss Bloomie's class because her class is always dead silent or close to it, even Miss Circle's class has talking in it on occasion, as she's nosy and lets it go if she finds it interesting. Miss Thavel actively encourages talk provided its in a separate language, and just likes to be talking away generally herself. Miss Bloomie however takes no prisoners and brokes no quarter, and so it is silent, even Edward keeps it down-although he is at the nurse's right now anyway-as students scribble away on their notes.
"Are we finished taking notessss? good. Thissss then concludesssss our written work on thissss, and we can move onto practicalsssss. Sssssssssplit off in your pairsss and fetch the equipment on the board, i hope you would all be able to deducccceee which cabinetssss they are in by thissss point in the year. Are we clear?"
"Yes Miss" choruses from the class as they all get up and split off, Claire going with Lana. They are apparently going to be extracting the iron content from breakfast ceral, and Lana is actually pretty comfortable with this, she's pretty good at practical's, not even needing Claire to help like during calculations. Lana grabs at the goggles, pestle and Mortar and prepares the water while Claire fetches the cereal, bag and the powerful magnets. "Here Claire, Kellogg's!" Lana pours the cereal into the bowl where Claire can mash it up.
"Thatssss good Claire" Miss Bloomie comments, having seemingly apperated behind them. "everyone look at Claire...and Lana'ssss bowl, make it a fine power" Lana gives Claire a side eye as Claire smiles at Miss Bloomie's praise, even she cant see what Claire does in Bloomie, the science teach is involved in almost every crime and scam imaginable, literally selling knockoff Pop during break and lunch for a markup ever since most fizzy drinks got pulled from the cafeteria following a "Healthy eating" campaign in the locale. And that's not even including the murders, and yet Claire smiles away at Bloomie's words.
After the bowl is given back, Claire pours water over the cereal which is promptly dumped into a bag and sealed by Claire where its left to soften for a few minutes, before a magnet is placed over it and drawn all over it, and finally, Righty's strong bite squeezes the bag and lifts the magnet, allowing Claire and Lana to see the iron particles press to the top of the bag. "Whoa" Lana mouths, she really would like science more if chemistry and physics didn't require so much math, seriously, she's had enough getting chased over math with Miss Circle, let alone Bloomie.
"Were finished miss!" Claire signals Miss Bloomie over. "Yesssss, very good Claire!"
"And Lana too, miss."
"...I ssssuppossse ssso, good work reguardlesssss. Sssssee? Claire, Lana, go help the resssst of the classss, asssss apparently a ssssimple exerccccisssse in sssseperation of particlesssss isssss to complex for a worrying amount of usssss. Not that many of them will be underssstanding much if they dont start taking my classssss ssssseriousssly" Bloomie says with such casualness you'd think she'd just told them what's on her shopping list, sending a shiver down Lana's spine.
Lana herself splits off to assist Skell and Riley, and by that she means Skell, who is giving up on life more than usual due to Riley having become more interested in watching air leave the bag when she stabs at it. "...Thank you...Lana" Skell thanks her with an unnecessary amount of pauses, which reminds her fondly of someone else. "You...you understand, your like me, aren't you?" Righty tries to strike up a conversation with Skell, who just gives him a look (And fair enough given Lana's mouth is simultaneously moving enough to make it look like she's talking, but starts late sometimes, so who's talking???)
"Very good, nobody hasss managed to fail thissss practical, thanksssss again Claire" Miss Bloomie glazes Claire once again, who lights up as always at the praise. "Remember, we will be having a tesssst on thisssss unit in two weekssss time, make sssssure your pencccccilsssss are sharpened. If none of you can manage that, I will be ssssselling the necccceccccary sssssuppliesssss during break and lunch." Lana may not like Miss Bloomie, but she respects the hustle.
The bell to end the day rings, and Lana, Bubble and Abbie practically sail out the school doors together, Claire and Engel are nowhere to be seen strangely. "Phew...that was a painfully average day, huh?" Bubble comments, and Lana has to agree, its been pretty normal minus the bullies being down a man, and down in general.
"Hey, you three!" The trio turn to see Lizzy and Petunia walking over, Petunia beckoning "Lana, Abbie, Bubble, we're taking our last shot for today, and we could really use some happy looking co stars!" Bubble seems less keen, but Lana jumps on it, and Abbie follows suit. "Thank again, Lannie, hope this filter makes it up to you" Lizzy says with a smile, that is less her usual dazzle and more like a...well, apologetic!
"Make up for what, Lizzie?" "You know, how ive' been treating you? I owe you for earlier." Lana really doesn't see what she means, but she's happy nonetheless. They get their picture and they all split off. Bubble head her way first, leaving Lana and Abbie, who soon split up too. "Bye bye Abbie! see you tomorrow!" Abbie attempts to respond, but cant through his squished cheeks and reddening face "Bmhmmmmm" is all he manages before they split off.
Today was Monday, which at Paper School is basically the start of a gauntlet above the fiery pits of the bullies, teachers and Δlice. And the knowledge that this is the stage of their lives where their futures as adults probably hang in the balance from like, an actual career perspective. But no tests this week! which means survival! and you know what, todays been a pretty good-
SKREEEEEEE
Lana has to dive out of the way like she's in Scary Movie as a van careens towards her, she just manages it, but smacks her head against the brick wall behind her on the sidewalk. Leftie starts licking the back of her head better while righty glares up at the driver. Speaking of the driver... "WHAT THE HELL WOMAN?!" "Oh chill out, I can drive! and she's not the most observant, trust me~"
Lana's eyes widen as the identical faces of the drivers greet her, none other than Miss Circle and Mister Compass! Compass is in the drivers seat, But Miss Circle's single arm is over the steering wheel and getting slapped off it by her husband. "Im not scraping her off the wheels, and you know it would be me having to scrape it for your lazy ass! don't try the "Oh, ill do it myself" like you wont forget and plop your fat ass on the couch!" Miss Circle just pokes her head out the window. "You'll still fucking gobble away at my fat ass either way, you big horny bastard. Anyway, hey lana! just you today? no Engel, no Abbie?" "M-miss!" Lana bumbles out, because the idea that Miss Circle can leave the school never really crossed her mind before. Hell, for some reason, now that she thinks deeper on it, she kind of assumed maybe Miss Circle, and by extension the other two, would chill out in public, maybe they just really hate their jobs and the coffee is poor? but no, apparently, Miss Circle is just a, quite literal, huge bitch.
"hi! no! my dad is just picking me up, he's just in that store over there!" She lies, as if she's crazy enough to try turn Lana into roadkill in broad daylight, she may very well get out the truck and finish the job herself, going by that smile...so many teeth.
"That right? well, dont let me keep you and your pops waiting, you've been getting good marks lately anyway...ive never been more disappointed and proud, thought id stop by and tell you that you better keep up the good work, you and Abbie both! about time you fuckfaces picked up the pace anyhow! I've been making it so easy for you!"
Lana fails to see how Oreo metaphors, taking fingers, and roundabout methods almost designed to make you fail unless you figure out the one, surprisingly simple linchpin holding her equations together is making it easy, but they are so well designed in their weirdness, they actually do kind of make a lot of sense, just enough that she's both a good and terrible teacher. Best not to point this out though. Miss Circle pulls her head back into their van, and settles back into her seat. "Ok hun, lets go!" "Finally" Compass mutters "And keep your hands off the wheel you loopy bitch, your arm makes you a bad enough driver already, on top of the already existing...'problem'."
"Ha ha." Miss Circle suddenly deadpans, before their Van careens off...with an odd banging coming from the back? Lana would call the cops, but that license plate gone before she can so much as attempt to memorize it.
Lana pulls herself up and wobbles home, her head all fuzzy...she might just go right to sleep when she gets in. But hey! her mom and dad are both in, they can have dinner together, and then text away to Engel and Claire and...all the other people she knows! even see how Lizzy filtered her! you know what? maybe it will be a good week.
"Righty?" Lana says as she unlocks the tiny front gate to her front garden. "Your getting a fresh napkin for a blanket!". "...I will count my blessings". the front door is already unlocked.
CLICK
"Mom, dad, that's me back!"
"Your home! how was your day my beautiful little girl?"