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A long yawn escaped the brunette as he adjusted his glasses, his gaze settling on the streets before him. The late-night streets of Tokyo were still as busy as ever, yet the cold atmosphere easily fooled him into napping off on the spot. It was not like him to snooze on a mission like this, he had never done so. Sleep has been elusive lately.
Kanae had only just slipped a cigarette between his lips when his rookie partner emerged from the crowd, shivering from the cold like a harmless puppy shaking his red fur.
“Kanae-san, how can you not get cold from this weather? It’s almost snowing.” Lauren Iroas chuckled as if something funny came to his mind, then quickly lit his cigarette with Kanae’s lighter even before Kanae had the chance to use it himself.
"Thought you were the one always nagging me about cigarettes." Tilting his head with a big grin, the younger policeman seems extra satisfied seeing his senior falling into a bad habit like that.
Swiftly tucking away the silver cigarette holder, the older male nonchalantly smiles at the junior officer that was still under probation at the time.
“Lauren, do you not remember that we’re supposed to be ready on the go as always?”Lauren had never taken a drag so quickly before.
It would have caught most people off guard when Kanae actually bothered responding to Lauren's teasing, thinking the Iroas boy is one cheerful puppy that is still growing (though they’re only 5 years apart…). But today is the day where anyone would be pissed off to have their midnight shift.
It was Christmas.
Not only was it a festive day in Japan, one of the busiest nights of the year for law enforcement work, but it was also a famous dating occasion for anyone. Lauren is an exception, but Kanae? He had rejected multiple invitations, leaving messages on read without ever bothering to delete them. Working this week. Maybe next year? was such a bland reply that everyone didn’t bother to question him. Everyone took his short replies as rejection. Kanae preferred it that way. So why did the silence afterward still feel so hollow?
He watched couples walking hand in hand while he himself stood in the cold. Staring blankly at the streets, waiting for any incidents to happen while almost falling asleep out of absolute boredom. Another couple passed, fingers intertwined inside matching gloves. Kanae took a second to look away before he realized he'd been staring.
Kanae rubbed the bridge of his nose and let out another slow breath, his eyes wandering over the stream of strangers passing beneath the station lights. A familiar shade of silver caught his attention for the briefest moment. His body reacted before his thoughts did, shoulders straightening as his gaze followed the figure weaving through the crowd.
Just another university student.
He clicked his tongue under his breath and looked away.
Ridiculous.
Years had passed, and somehow he still found himself searching for the same head of silver hair in every busy street, every train platform, every reflection in rain-soaked windows. Habit, he told himself. Professional instinct, maybe.
The lie had become easier to repeat than to question.
Then, as though mocking him for thinking it, another flash of silver slipped through the crowd. This time, there was no mistaking who it belonged to. It was as if his fancy tousled hairstyle wasn’t standing out enough, he had to wear his unique clothing with a leash on his neck, parading his way through everyone like that. It would take Kanae every last resolve to keep himself on the spot. After all, he was supposed to be guarding this station, right? If trouble came waving at him like that, how is he supposed to ignore it?
"Lauren, keep your position. I'll check something."
"Eh? Kanae-san—?"
He was already gone.
The crowd parted just enough for Kanae to keep the silver-haired man in sight. Kuzuha never hurried. He strolled through the Christmas crowd with his hands buried in his pockets, as if he didn't have half the police force wishing to see him in handcuffs. That infuriating confidence hadn't changed.
"Stop!" Kanae called once they turned into a quieter side street.
Kuzuha never looked back, nor did he quicken his pace. The brunette closed the distance in three quick strides, reaching for his wrist. The moment his fingers brushed fabric, the world flipped.
His back struck the cold brick wall with a muted thud, one wrist pinned above his head, then the other. Kuzuha hadn't used brute force. He never needed to. He still knew exactly how Kanae moved.
"Still leading with your left shoulder," Kuzuha murmured, almost fondly.
Kanae's breath caught.
Seven years.
Seven years, and the bastard still remembered.
"You always leave your right side open when you're impatient."
"...Shut up."
"See?" A crooked smile tugged at Kuzuha's lips. "I remember everything."
Kuzuha's crooked smile lingered as he leaned in, close enough for his voice to brush against Kanae's ear. It was almost too easy, almost; as if he intentionally let his guard down in front of this man, just to be pinned onto the wall with both of his hands secured on top of his head like this.
“Shut up, criminal.” The bite didn’t come through his tone as he thought.
“You’re up to no good again, aren’t you?”
Kuzuha chuckled dryly, shrugging as he kept Kanae’s hands still, leaning in closer, closer than anyone had been to him in months.
“What? And you're telling me you chased me through half of Shinjuku because you're just doing your job?"
“Yes.”
“And I thought you’re a good liar.”
The brunette’s eyes narrowed, as if offended by how the perv on top of him is speaking of him. What other reasons could he be following this man for, if not for the sole reason of keeping an eye on him?
“Are you conveniently losing memory of the fact that you’re a wanted criminal?”
Flicking his hair back in a playful manner, the taller male leans closer, his breath fanning on the other’s lips.
“Kanae-kun... You still look for me.” Kanae froze for a second, holding his breath. "...Don’t you?"
Shivering by the thought of their past once more, Kanae averts his gaze, unable to deny. Of course, how can he forget? The one that was engulfed by the shadow, inevitably was his best partner, Kuzuha. Who would have thought one day, one of the academy’s two elite officers would have turned into a black citizen, going off to the road that he once swore to stand against?
“Lagusa, don’t you dare..” He grinds his teeth, bitterly swallowing the memories they once had that were crushed the day Kuzuha walked away. “We are… nothing. There was.. never anything.”
Blatantly lying to his own feelings, whatever warmth remained in his gaze quietly vanished as he blankly stared into the scarlet gaze before him, he could never forget what they once were. Not only were they best friends, they were also the partners that no other person could have come close to matching.
The smile faded from Kuzuha's lips. Without another word, he closed what little distance remained between them, pressing Kanae back against the wall. There was barely enough space left to breathe, let alone hide behind excuses. Kanae bit his lip enough for Kuzuha to taste iron. The silver-haired didn’t mind, not even one bit. Their foreheads nearly touched, neither willing to close the last inch nor retreat from it. Kanae meant to shove him away. His hand even lifted between them. Yet it stopped halfway.
Kuzuha noticed.
Of course he noticed.
"You always hesitate," he said quietly.
“Only with insufferable people like you.”
A soft laugh escaped Kuzuha, low enough that Kanae felt it more than heard it.
"No."
His thumb brushed absentmindedly against Kanae's wrist, barely enough to count as a touch.
"Only with me."
That single sentence tore through years of carefully stacked excuses far more cleanly than any confession could have.
When their lips finally met, it wasn't hurried. It wasn't even particularly graceful. It was the kind of kiss that belonged to people who had spent far too long pretending they no longer knew each other. Hesitant at first, then quietly desperate, every pause lasting only long enough to steal another breath. Kanae tasted winter air, and beneath it, the faint sweetness of café au lait that seemed to follow Kuzuha everywhere; something achingly familiar that memory recognized before reason could.
Desire had always been the easier thing to deny. Missing him never was.
The kiss deepened almost against their own better judgment, yet neither of them reached beneath the other's coat, neither chased the moment beyond what it already was. They weren't trying to satisfy their hunger. They were trying, however briefly, to silence the emptiness that had followed them ever since they had walked away from the same future.
When they finally pulled apart, neither of them spoke. The alley fell quiet once more, leaving only the distant melody of Christmas songs drifting in from the brightly lit streets beyond. The warmth between them lingered stubbornly despite the winter air, as though the years separating them had been erased by a single reckless moment. Kanae hated how familiar it felt. He should have shoved Kuzuha away the instant their lips met. He should have reached for the handcuffs resting against his belt. Yet somewhere between duty and memory, his resolve had quietly slipped through his fingers.
Kuzuha watched him in silence, searching the face that had always betrayed more than its owner realized. Kanae had never been good at lying—not to him. He could deny the past, insist there had never been anything between them, bury every memory beneath his badge and uniform, but his hesitation remained unchanged. Seven years ago, Kanae had hesitated before charging through a door, waiting only long enough to make sure his partner was beside him. Even now, standing on opposite sides of the law, he still hesitated before letting go.
For a fleeting moment, Kanae wondered what would happen if neither of them moved. If the city simply forgot they existed for one impossible night. The thought was gone almost as quickly as it came. Tomorrow he would still be the officer chasing a wanted man, and Kuzuha would still vanish into a crowd before anyone else caught sight of him.
There was no future waiting for them at the end of this alley. The first step backward would return them to reality—officer and criminal, hunter and fugitive. So they lingered instead, selfishly stealing one last heartbeat from a life that had never belonged to them in the first place.