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McNamara sits in her bed, her foot wrapped in a cast, and propped up on a pillow.
she messed up a trick at practice and broke her foot, so she was stuck in bed for a few days.
which she did get excused from school so yippie no class, but it did get painfully lonely during the day.
chandler would come by after school and drop of homework, usually she'd stay and they'd play games but McNamara noticed chandler being irritated on arrival lately.
she'd come in angry, of course she'd lighten up as they played games but McNamara got a weird feeling because of it.
it was 4:00 PM. chandler usually comes around 3:30.
"she's probably just handling something at home." McNamara mutters, staring at tweetie, her bird.
she flicks the cage door open letting her bird hop onto her bed.
the small yellow bird tweets happily as it jumps around on the bed.
McNamara uses two fingers to pet the bird.
"i know you'll never ditch me, tweetie. at least i have you." McNamara says, looking lovingly at her bird.
her attention is drawn to the door when she hears the front door slam open.
her bedroom door suddenly opens and chandler walks in.
McNamara jumps at the door slamming shut.
"hey, heather. is uh something wrong?" McNamara asks, watching as chandler walks over and sits on the bed.
chandler sits on the bed, facing away from McNamara.
suddenly chandler flops onto her side, and wiggles closer to McNamara.
she cuddles up, resting her head on McNamara stomach.
"we didn't have any homework today." chandler mutters, reaching her hand over and petting tweetie gently.
McNamara gently rests her hand on the other girls head.
"okay. you didn't answer my question though. are you okay?" McNamara asks again, running her fingers through chandlers slightly messed up hair.
chandler hesitates, glancing up at McNamara.
she stares at her closest friends face for a moment before muttering a small "no" then putting her head back down.
McNamara gently scratches chandlers head in a comforting manner.
"do you wanna talk about it or do you need a minute?" McNamara asks, still scratching the other girls head.
chandler lifts her head, making eye contact with McNamara.
"sure." chandler says, letting out a small huff.
"i got into a fight with my mom this morning. i have been for the past week, just this time it was a lot worse...." chandler stops for a moment then speaks again, not continuing the story.
"do you think i deserve love?" chandler asks, her voice cracking as her grip tightens on McNamara shirt.
McNamara eyes widen, and she brings her hands up, cupping chandlers cheeks gently.
"what kind of question is that." McNamara asks rhetorically.
McNamara speaks again "of course i think you deserve love." she pauses for a moment, just staring at chandler as her eyes water slightly.
"did she said that you didn't, didn't she?" McNamara asks, gently rubbing chandlers cheeks with her thumbs.
chandler gives a small nod, then lets her head fall forward to rest on McNamara's shoulder.
tears roll down chandlers cheeks as she quietly sobs.
McNamara drops her hands from chandlers face and wraps her arms around the shorter girl, rubbing her back gently.
the two stay cuddled up for a while, the sun setting by the time chandler lifts her head.
"you feel a bit better?" McNamara asks, bringing her hand up to wipe a few tears off of the other girls face.
chandler nods, then clears her throat.
"yeah, i feel a bit better… a lot better that im with you." chandler says, sniffling softly.
"good. now, you wanna watch a movie? maybe order some pizza." McNamara says, running her fingers through chandlers hair.
chandler smiles softly and nods.
"sure. you can pick the movie, I'll order the pizza. pepperoni good?" chandler asks, shifting off of McNamara, and standing up from her bed.
"yeah, that's fine." McNamara says. watching chandler exit her room.
"god, i love that women so much." chandler mutters once out of McNamara's earshot, her cheeks flushing not out of sadness for the first time that day.
she picks up McNamara's house phone and dials the phone number to her local pizza place.
she quickly orders the pizza then rushes her way back to McNamara's room, tossing herself back onto the bed.
she lays on her back, staring up at McNamara.
"so, what movie do you wanna watch?" chandler asks, leaning her head against McNamara's side.
"well, veronica let me borrow her VHS of Carrie, you wanna watch that?" McNamara asks, putting her hand back on chandlers head.
chandler gives a small nod then asks "where'd you put it?"
McNamara points to the box TV across from her bed. a VHS tape sitting on top of it.
chandler shifts off of the bed and walks up to the TV.
she grabs the tape, slipping it out of its cardboard sleeve.
she clicks on the TV and puts the VHS into the DVR.
chandler makes her way back to the bed sitting down calmly this time.
she leans back against McNamara, resting her head on the taller girls shoulder.
the two stayed cuddled up throughout the entire movie.
the credits roll, and McNamara glances at chandler, who has fallen asleep.
McNamara gently places a kiss on the sleeping girls forehead.
a few months later.
September.
McNamara thinks back to those days, her body trembling while she stares down at chandlers grave.
"i thought you could tell me everything." McNamara mutters, tears staining her cheeks.
"how could i let this happen?" McNamara says, her voice cracking, thinking back to kindergarten when chandler would always come to her first after getting hurt.
back to middle school when chandler would rant about her parents.
back to before the suicide when they'd tell each other everything.
"i miss you so much. i loved you so much." McNamara says, she pauses just staring at the carved rock, like expecting an answer that'll never come.
"this is all my fault." McNamara says, turning and exiting the graveyard.
she drives home in tears, having to pull over twice due to the tears.