Work Text:
It was the weekend and that meant even more volleyball and even more time to hang out with Hinata, however the entire time they’ve been together today Kageyama’s mind had been racing. Nothing in particular set him off today, or the day before that. His nightmares have just been increasing seemingly without reason. There was no way he was going back to therapy either to sit and live in his loneliness like he did before.
Kageyama much rather distract himself with volleyball instead.
They had just left the store to gather some groceries for Hinata’s mom and now they were walking back. Usually, they’d be talking the whole time but Kageyama hasn’t even uttered a word!
“Tobio! Are you even listening to me?”
“Huh? Oh, yeah.” No, he had no idea what Hinata had been babbling about this entire time, but now it didn’t really matter because they were already back at the house.
“Thank you so much boys, I really appreciate it!” They handed over the groceries, helping Hinata’s mom put them away before almost immediately rushing back outside into the backyard to play volleyball.
Although, something had been off. Kageyama’s form was all sloppy and he was moving slower than usual.
Hinata leaped into the air, prepared to hit Kageyama’s set when Kageyama hit the ball entirely too fast and extremely too high. Hinata hit the ground, his hand missing. They were both panting, kageyama appearing paler than usual.
“Tobio? Come on, you’ve been acting weird all day.” Hinata laid flat on his back in the grass, subtly rolling over to Kageyama. “Are you sick or something?”
“No, I’m not sick dumbass.. I just— I don’t know, let’s just go in.” Kageyama groaned, his stomach twisting at the words that never came out his mouth.
He had been fucking up all day. What if his nightmares come true and Hinata and the team really do leave him?
Both Kageyama and Hinata reluctantly head inside before Hinata’s sister, Natsu, comes out of her room and stares directly at Kageyama.
“What?” Kageyama stiffens, her gaze on him was way more intimidating than it should be. She was just a little kid!
“You look like death.”
“Natsu! That’s not nice, apologize to him.” Kageyama knows Hinata is trying his best to not to laugh but it warms his heart regardless. Hinata has noticed how somewhat rough Kageyama’s day has been it doesn’t really feel like adding on to whatever might be going on with him.
“Hmph.” Natsu groans, “sorry Tobio.”
“Yeah, it’s fine, I haven’t exactly gotten a lot of sleep these last couple of days so I won’t hold it against you.”
“You haven’t been sleeping?” Hinata jumps in.
“Nope.” He doesn’t say another word before going into the bathroom to freshen up.
A few minutes pass and they’re both freshly showered and ready for bed, their stomachs full from meat buns.
“Goodnight Tobio.”
“Night sho.” Kageyama knows damn well he won’t be getting any sleep tonight but he closes his eyes anyway in a weak attempt to rest.
The old standing fan clicked every few rotations. The curtains shifted with the summer wind slipping through the cracked window. Somewhere downstairs, the refrigerator hummed with the steady persistence of a machine that had worked longer than anyone remembered. And beneath all of it was Hinata himself, alive in every possible way, even asleep.
Yep. He wasn’t going to bed anytime soon. This house was never quiet, not even at night. His thoughts wouldn’t settle even as he snuggles up to his sleeping boyfriend beside him.
He stares at the ceiling.
He should’ve fallen asleep hours ago. The clock now read 2:13 AM and beside him Hinata had managed to take all of the blanket while unconscious. Albeit, the blanket wouldn’t have helped Kageyama’s case anyway.
Hinata’s arm rested over him, his orange curls tickled Kageyama’s face. He never wanted this part of his life to end. His eyes had finally drifted shut now that Hinata’s presence steadied him.
The gym was silent, that was wrong.. how did he get here before everyone else anyway? Hinata was always there right beside him. Something was off.
Karasuno’s gym was never silent. There was always the squeak of shoes, the thud of a ball against the floor, Nishinoya yelling something incomprehensible, Tanaka laughing too loudly.
The fluorescent lights buzzed. “Oi!” His voice echoed. There was no answer. Where the hell was everybody?
He looked around, his eyes landing near the bleachers. His team was there, Sugawara, Daichi, Tanaka, Nishinoya, Yamaguchi, Yachi, Kiyoko, Tsukishima, Asahi, Coach Ukai, everyone. Their arms were crossed, where was Hinata, he was always here on time?
He still felt relief knowing he wasn’t completely alone in here.
“Practice started already?” He asked, stepping towards them.
No one moved an inch and Daichi had an expression on his face Kageyama couldn’t read.
“We don’t need you anymore.” Daichi finally spoke up.
“What?” His chest started to hurt already, his throat seemingly tightening.
Sugawara smiled, but it wasn’t his usual warm smile. It was distant, polite, the kind reserved for strangers.“You’re difficult to play with,” Suga said.
Asahi just looked away.
Tanaka rubbed the back of his neck. “Sorry man, It’s just easier without all the pressure.”
Nishinoya didn’t even meet his eyes.
Kageyama clenched his fist but he had no intention of hurting anyone. “That’s not—“
Tsukishima interrupted him. “You just don’t get it, do you?” He scoffed, “volleyball isn’t just about your sets.”
Panic crawled up his throat, “I can fix it, I can fix all of this! I’ll set better and—“
“We already find someone else. Someone.. better, someone more chill. You’re just.. too much.” Daichi said.
The gym doors opened but Kageyama couldn’t make out the persons face. It was a setter.
What he could see was the way the team immediately turned toward him, their shoulders relaxing, their expressions brightening.
Like they had been waiting for someone, like that someone had never been Kageyama.
The new setter tossed a ball into the air with perfect precision and Hinata suddenly came out of nowhere, running. Kageyama’s breath caught and Hinata jumped, hitting the ball. The spike landed cleanly.
“Not you too..” Hinata didn’t want him anymore either? He was the only one who understood him, at least that’s what he assumed.
Everyone was cheering for this new guy!
Hinata laughed, bright and unrestrained, and turned toward the new setter with the exact expression he used to reserve for Kageyama after a perfect quick. He showed genuine trust and admiration for him and it made Kageyama sick to his stomach. His insides stung with jealousy and hurt.
Kageyama took a step forward towards them, the guys face seemed blurred. “Shoyo.” Hinata didn’t even react, it was like he wasn’t even there at all.
“Shoyo!” This time Hinata looked at him and Kageyama thought he had seen true recognition in those brown eyes.
Hinata smiled at him apologetically. “Sorry, Kageyama..”He sounded soft, gentle, almost like he always was.
“He’s someone who we can keep up with. He’s way less controlling, with him.. I can definitely fly.”
His heart was pounding and he couldn’t stop himself from getting teary eyed. The gym had began to darken and he couldn’t breathe. “Shoyo?!”
One by one, the lights had flickered out and the team started to surround the new setter, their voices fading into a indistinct noise.
“Wait.”
No one stopped.
“Wait!” And then the last light went out, the darkness swallowing the court. He could’ve swore he heard Hinata’s voice echo out one last time.
Kageyama woke up with a violent gasp, for a second he didn’t even know where he was until he saw Hinata right beside him. His heart slammed against his ribs hard enough to hurt. Sweat clung to the back of his neck, and his hands were trembling.
This wasn’t the gym, it was a very dark bedroom. Hinata’s bedroom. The fan was clicking and the curtains moved. Kageyama pressed a hand on his chest and realized he was still alive.
The nightmare lingered with cruel clarity, the empty gym, the team turning away, Hinata smiling at someone else. It felt ridiculous, childish even. It all felt so real, so much so his throat ached like he actually lost him, his cheeks stained with tears.
Hinata stirred beside him and Kageyama froze. “..Kageyama?”
“I’m fine.” Kageyama said immediately.
“That was a really loud gasp for someone who’s fine.”
Of course Hinata would notice that. Kageyama cursed internally.
Hinata pushed himself up on one elbow, squinting at Kageyama. “You’re sweating,” Hinata said.
“I said I’m fine.” Hinata stared at him for a long moment.
Kageyama looked away first and Hinata sat up slowly all the way.
“Tobio.” The use of his name without an insult or exclamation always made something twist in Kageyama’s chest.
“What?”
“Have you been having nightmares?”
Kageyama opened his mouth to deny it but to no avail. There was no point in lying about it now.
“Yeah.” The lie died there.
Hinata blinked once, then twice, as if processing the fact that Kageyama Tobio had just admitted vulnerability without being forced into it.
“What was it about?”
“Nothing.”
“Well that means it was definitely something.”
Kageyama groaned quietly. “Why are you like this?”
“Huh?! Like what, concerned?” Hinata frowned.
“Annoyingly perceptive.”
“Same thing apparently.”
Despite himself, Kageyama felt the faintest crack in the panic. Hinata shifted closer on the bed close enough that their shoulders nearly touched and their legs underneath the blanket.
“You don’t have to tell me,” he said, voice softer now. “But you looked really scared.”
Scared, huh? He hated that word. He shouldn’t be scared of anything.
He stared down at his own hands and Hinata noticed immediately. “Hey,” he said. Kageyama clenched his hands into fist again.
“I’m fine. I’m okay!” He snapped without meaning to.
“Tobio.. you’re shaking.”
“I—“
“Tobio.” His tone changed, not angry, just stern enough to make Kageyama stop talking. He put a firm hand onto his, calming him only slightly.
“You don’t have to act like that with me. You don’t need to pretend.” Kageyama swallowed. He wasn’t good at.. this.
He could analyze blockers in a fraction of a second. He could calculate the exact trajectory of a set while sprinting across the court. He could memorize opponents’ tendencies after a single match.
But when it came to explaining his emotions, not bottling them up and later exploding? That was almost like trying to catch fucking smoke with his bare hands.
“It was stupid, not that big of a deal.” He muttered. Little Tobio, always downplaying things.
“Nightmares are usually stupid, but that doesn’t mean it can’t mean anything to you.”
Kageyama let out a humorous laugh. “I dreamed that everyone had left me.” Hinata didn’t interrupt. “Even you.”
“That the team didn’t want me anymore.” His voice grew rougher with each word. “That they found another setter.” He hesitated.
The hardest part lodged behind his teeth.
Kageyama finally forced it out.
“And you liked him too.”
Kageyama’s eyes were fixed on the closed bedroom door. He expected Hinata to laugh, to say something like ‘why would I leave, idiot?’
Instead, Hinata asked quietly, “What happened in the dream?”
Kageyama had told him, not all of it at once but in fragments as he tried to remember it all. Tsukishima’s easily irritating voice, Daichi’s words, saying they didn’t need him.
Hinata listened without a single joke and Kageyama hated how each sentence hurt. When he finished the room had grown silent again and Hinata’s expression was unreadable.
Kageyama looked away again. “See? Stupid.”
“No.” Hinata said instantly, “it’s not stupid at all actually.”
“It was just a dream.”
“I never believed that dreams come from nowhere.”
Kageyama just frowned.
Hinata pulled his knees up to his chest, thinking.
“You’re afraid of being left behind.” It wasn’t phrased as a question. Kageyama’s first instinct was to deny it.
But he was just exhausted. “…Maybe.”
Hinata was quiet for a moment. “Is that why you get so intense during practice?”
Kageyama scoffed. “I get intense because I want to win.”
“Yeah, but sometimes it feels like you’re trying to make yourself impossible to replace.” Kageyama just stared at him. That part was true.
Hinata continued, thoughtful, “You push yourself harder than anyone I know. Even when Coach says practice is over, you’re still thinking about the next set, the next match, the next thing you need to improve.”
He tilted his head.
“Sho.. you literally do that too.”
“Oh hush! This isn’t about me right now.” He nudged him in his arm.
“…Is it because you think if you stop being useful or overly kind, people will leave?”
Kageyama couldn’t answer. Because the answer was yes.
Because somewhere deep inside him still lived the middle school boy who had watched teammates refuse his tosses. The boy who had heard the nickname King of the Court and understood it was not a compliment.
The boy who had learned that being skilled did not guarantee being wanted.
“Oh,” Hinata said softly, understanding. Kageyama’s chest just tightened.
“You know..we spend almost every day together.”
The panic in Kageyama’s chest had dulled, but a different ache had taken its place.
“And why haven’t you left?” he asked before he could stop himself.
Hinata’s eyes widened slightly, then his expression softened with such immediate certainty that Kageyama felt his throat tighten.
“Kageyama Tobio,” Hinata said, “I chose you.”
Kageyama stared at him.
“When we first met, I thought you were the worst,” he admitted. “You were bossy, rude, and kind of terrifying.”
“Kind of?”
“Extremely terrifying.”
A weak snort escaped Kageyama before he could suppress it. Hinata grinned briefly, then grew serious again.
“But I also thought your sets were amazing. And the more I played with you, the more I realized something.”
He pointed at Kageyama. “You care about volleyball so much it hurts.”
Kageyama looked down. “That sounds pathetic.”
“It sounds like you.” Hinata’s voice was gentle. Kageyama didn’t feel like he deserved him.
“And yeah, sometimes you’re bad at communicating. Sometimes you say things that make people want to throw volleyballs at your head. But you’ve changed.”
Kageyama frowned again. “Changed how?”
“You listen now.” Hinata counted on his fingers. “You ask for feedback. You adjust your sets for each hitter. You trust us to make our own decisions on the court.”
He smiled. “That’s not the guy from middle school.”
Kageyama wanted to argue. But the words wouldn’t come.
Hinata shifted even closer until they could feel each other’s breath. “And for the record,” he said, “your dream version of me is an idiot.”
Kageyama blinked.
“There is no universe where I’d leave because I found a better setter.”
“You say that now…” Kageyama looked in disbelief.
“I’m serious!” Hinata looked almost offended. “Do you know how many setters can do what you do with me?”
Kageyama hesitated. Hinata answered for him. “Basically none.”
“Oikawa could probably—”
“Nope.”
“Atsumu—“
“Also nope.”
Hinata jabbed a finger into Kageyama’s shoulder.
“You’re the one who turned my impossible jump into an actual attack. You’re the one who keeps pushing me to get faster, higher, better.” His expression became intensely earnest.
“When I think about volleyball, I think about playing with you.”
Kageyama’s breath caught and his cheeks flushed with color. All this time they’ve been together and Hinata can still make him blush this hard and make his heart skip a beat. Hinata rarely spoke this directly.
Usually their affection hid inside arguments, competition, and perfectly timed sets. Hearing it stated aloud felt almost overwhelming.
“Kageyama,” Hinata said quietly, “you’re not just useful to me.” The word useful struck the exact wound the nightmare had opened. “You’re so important..” He paused.
“Tobio.. I don’t think I could live without you.”
Something in Kageyama’s chest cracked. “Don’t say shit like that, of course you can.”
“I really don’t think I would be able to.” Hinata laughed but Kageyama couldn’t really find that funny. The thought of Hinata’s life becoming miserable if something was to happen to him actually hurt.
That realization was almost unbearable. Kageyama laughed once, weakly. “You’re saying really embarrassing things.”
Hinata’s ears turned pink. “Well, you had a crisis, so I’m allowed.”
“A crisis?”
“Yeah.”
Hinata nudged him with his shoulder again. “If I was to ever find another setter you’d probably hunt me down, right?” Kageyama considered this.
“Probably, yeah.”
Hinata bursted into a quiet laughter, using his own hand to muffle himself, not wanting to wake up his mom or his sister Natsu.
Kageyama felt the remnants of his nightmare begin to dissolve, not completely but just enough for him to see it wasn't an inevitable future. It was just a fear, just a dream. Kageyama’s breathing steadied completely now and Hinata’s noticed it too. “Better now?”
Kageyama nodded. “Yeah.”
“..Thanks.” He mumbled.
“Did Kageyama Tobio just thank me voluntarily?” Hinata gasped, pretending to be surprised.
“Don’t make me take it back dumbass.” Kageyama couldn’t stop himself from smirking.
“It’s too late, I’m already framing this moment in my mind.”
Kageyama rolled his eyes but the motion lacked any real irritation. Then Hinata yawned suddenly, his entire body curling with the force of it before he lied back down.
“You’re exhausted.” Kageyama said.
“So are you.” He glanced sideways as Kageyama laid down with him.
They just stared at one another, expecting one of them to do something. “Want a goodnight kiss?” Hinata spoke up.
“Can’t say that I don’t.” His lips curled into a smile before their lips collided. It should’ve been a simple peck but now they were making out at 3AM.
They kissed tenderly, softly, Hinata’s lips were still as soft as ever. Nothing could ever compare to the way their mouths moved together (other than volleyball of course) Kageyama gasped into Hinata mouth as their breaths heaved.
Hinata’s tongue brushed against Kageyama’s bottom lip one more time before pulling away, making kageyama shudder. “We should.. stop before we get too carried away. Hinata panted as they began snuggling against each other. “Yeah, I’m way too tired to go all the way tonight.” Kageyama yawned. “Agreed..”
“Hey, Tobio..” Hinata whispered.
“Mm?” Kageyama mumbled, only half awake.
“You know what’s the best part of our quick is?”
Kageyama is too sleepy for riddles. “What?”
Hinata’s answer came without hesitation. “That neither of us can do it alone.”
“Hm..” Kageyama finally closed his eyes with hopes of actually getting some sleep.