Chapter Text
It should have been only a short solo mission where he had to exterminate a few trash beasts. It was successful, easy as it was, but all of a sudden, he saw a flash of light envelop him, as if he didn't have any feet anymore, before losing consciousness. The last thing he made sure to do was grip Lovely Assistaff tightly.
And the next thing he knew was that he was in a dark room on a soft surface. That, and he was on a bed with some naked man beside him.
He thought his luck couldn't be worse until he actually saw the person next to him, “Jabber?!”
Where the fuck was he? And why was his worst enemy here with him?!
“Zanka, what’s wrong—” the man had only had time to sit up, lazily scratching his head, before he had found himself confronted by Zanka's Vital Instrument.
The blond found himself in distress; he had asked Gris to drive into a polluted zone to do an easy mission; Enjin, Rudo, and the kids were still in Canvas Town to help Remlin, and he had nothing better to do. How did he find himself there?!
“Why are ya here?!” he asked, panicking because obviously, the situation was beyond comprehension: he was suddenly lying on a bed with the worst person ever and the man in question didn't have any clothes on! It was dark, but he could recognize the dangerous Raider anytime.
He also recognized the room he was in; it looked like his own in the Cleaner HQ, but there were a lot of books, disorganized as they were on the shelf, and some piles of sheets threatening to fall on a nearby desk. Yeah, it was definitely the HQ; he could recognize the scent of the fabric softener, and the window and the blinds looked exactly the same, too. Now, to know why and how a Raider had found himself here.
“It's my room, duh. You're acting kind of weird; where did you even find these clothes?” Jabber asked, confused too while pulling a little on his sleeve, inspecting it.
His room?
What the fuck was he talking about?!
Did Jabber take weird poison again and lose himself to the point he forgot where and who he was?
Well, if it was truly the HQ, it would be better to find someone else than to fight one of the most dangerous Raiders one-on-one. The blond understood the difference in their levels, and the little training he had done since their last confrontation wasn't enough to close the insane gap between them. It wasn't the moment to feel egocentric. Plus, he didn't want to break everything.
So he hastily got up, taking his vital instrument and his mask before opening the door and running into the hallway. If not too much time had passed between the moment he fainted and now, it should still be morning, and there should be at least some people left in the cafeteria. There were always a lot of people eating there.
His eyes widened when he saw Enjin and Riyo, who were chatting casually before seeing him, totally stopping what they were doing with shocked expressions. There were other people eating, but these two were the most trustworthy guys he knew; they would help him.
His mentor was already back? Perfect. “Enjin, we’ve got a problem—” but before he could finish his sentence, an umbrella was pointed at his face while his best friend looked coldly at him, slowly taking her scissors from her pouch. The look she had was a predatory one.
“Guys?” he asked, confused.
His friends were behaving very weirdly; he couldn't begin to understand why Enjin looked at him like he was some kind of garbage he had to clean off. Never before had the older man had this kind of disgusted expression while looking at him. It was enough to shock him to the core; the way he was glaring at him could break him.
Did he make some mistake that deserved Enjin’s wrath?
“Why are you here? And why are you wearing a Cleaner uniform?” he asked him dangerously, still cautiously watching all his movements.
Uh-oh. It was true he ditched his mission all of a sudden, even if it wasn't his fault.
“I-I was with Gris on a mission, but I suddenly found myself here and—”
“What nonsense are you saying?” His gaze switched to Riyo; even if he never truly knew what she was thinking, he recognized pure hate in her green eyes.
Zanka’s throat suddenly became really dry, his heartbeat quickening anxiously as his stomach started to hurt. Why were his friends looking at him like that? Did he fail something again? Does it have anything to do with Jabber being in the HQ?
Right, Jabber!
“Listen, ya can yell at me after, but we need to take care of Jabber first! He invaded the HQ; I saw him earlier when I woke up!” He couldn't let such a dangerous man wander around here; how did he even enter the building?
“Right. That makes sense,” Enjin said sarcastically. “We are going to side with a Raider to take care of one of us. I don't know what happened to you, but having someone as important as you here will make things easier.”
Zanka felt his mind swirling; his (mentor?) was still talking to him, but he didn't hear words anymore. His head hurt, and he felt nauseous.What was happening…?
A Raider.
Him?
As his mind gradually emptied, he felt a hand on his shoulder before a dark-skinned man stepped in front of him. “Okay, okay. Should we try to do this more peacefully?” Jabber had spoken before patting his friend's shoulder, turning their attention to him. He was only wearing a pair of pants and a tank top; he could see the countless fresh wounds the man had on his back and shoulder; it was like a cutter had put many holes in a canvas.
Riyo and Enjin were slowly lowering their weapons, exchanging a confused look before looking at Jabber, waiting for him to talk. It didn't make sense; they were his friends, so why did they listen to him?
“I think there’s something wrong with Zanka,” the man spoke again. He would have snapped at the insult if the situation wasn't this weird. Other Cleaners started to regroup around them—Eishia, Tomme, Tamsy… but none of them made the effort of defending him; instead, they were staring with a mix of curiosity and worry.
“Of course there is something wrong with him.” Enjin rolled his eyes, finally lowering his weapon for good now that he seemed more relaxed. “First, his head must be totally busted to side with the Raider, and secondly: infiltrating the Cleaners, and alone? Seriously?” Zanka looked away when the older man gave him a mean look.
He couldn't support the way they were looking at him anymore.
“I don't think it's the same Zanka we all know,” the dark-skinned man commented, looking toward him as he turned in his direction, his magenta eyes looking calmly at him. Contrary to all the other people, there wasn’t any sign of animosity in Jabber's look.
“Huh?” echoed his voice along with all his supposed friends.
“This isn't Zanka?” Riyo tilted her head.
“Look, he acts completely different and even his looks have changed a little, too; he doesn't have any piercings and his hair is a little shorter.” Jabber tried to reach him, but he took a step back instinctively. Not even in his worst nightmare had he imagined his worst enemy defending him against his friends. Seriously, what was happening???
“He could have removed them and cut his hair,” someone said before another person added, “But what about his clothes? It's a Cleaner uniform; he even has the logo.” “The mask he has looks like it could be totally designed by August.”
A bunch of whispers rose, making it impossible to understand a single sentence anymore. The loud sound made his head buzz, with painful palpitations inside his body. How could he be so uncomfortable in a place he considered home?
“What do we have here?” The crowd dissipated at a woman's mature voice. He was somewhat reassured to see Semiu coming their way, looking intrigued. The woman was wise; surely he trusted her to help him, her vital instrument would probably expose the truth.
She stared at him for what seemed like an eternity before making a hand gesture. “It's probably fine,” she lazily said, not bothering to use her power before turning her back, a collective gasp forming.
“Wait, wait. Let's be a little more serious here.” Enjin knitted his eyebrows, his hand holding his head as if he was in pain.
“Oh, but I am. A simple glance can tell that this boy isn't the dangerous Raider everyone seemed to mistake him for. Come see me at my desk, Team Akuta, too.”
The woman departed, leaving them shocked and confused in the cafeteria.
“Well, this isn't some show, yeah?!” Jabber almost yelled ferociously at the others before the crowd disappeared, going back to their previous occupations under his shocked eyes. People were listening to Jabber…
It somewhat reassured him that only a few people were around him, supposedly the ones he knew the most, plus Jabber. And a couple of curious eyes, too.
“You feeling better?” The same man asked him. This Jabber seemed awfully nice.
“Yeah, it's just weird seeing ya like this.” So, he swapped places with a Zanka from another universe. This is crazy.
The dark-skinned man started to run his fingers through his hair, letting his bangs fall over his face. “I know, I know. Normally, you'd try to kill me, then yourself, because I reject the idea of making a suicide pair.” He smiled at him before laughing softly and patting his hair.
“…What?”
WHAT?!
It had been years since he had thought of ending his life; he wasn't the depressive teenager he was when he was younger anymore, disillusioned by himself and his lack of power; what the fuck was wrong with their Zanka?!
“It's true he doesn't look like him.” Riyo didn't leave him any time to think about what Jabber just said and started to poke his hair too. “I recognize the smell of our fabric softener, too.” The red-haired girl took a sniff of his sleeves before coughing and pinching her nose. “Dust and sand, too!” Fucking rude!
“So what's your story?” Enjin asked, a little calmer than before.
Finally, they were going to listen to him! He seriously started to think the situation was desperate.
“Like I said, I was with Gris before finding myself in this weirdo's room without knowing why.” He pointed at Jabber accusatorily. If his friends were telling the truth, the man had been part of the Cleaners while he was on the enemy side.
“And you?” The older man looked next at Jabber, who flinched and looked away, trying to whistle innocently.
“I was sleeping.” He smiled awkwardly.
“And this Zanka just appeared out of nowhere?”
Come to think of it, Jabber's bed had been a very weird spawning place.
“I have a theory,” the dark-skinned man started. “It appears logical to me that he was swapped with the other one we know. I mean, my Zanka being suddenly replaced is weird and I don't think there can be two of them.”
Well, the situation was indeed strange, but Jabber would be right about that; he hadn't seen any Raider Zanka when waking up.
Wait.
His Zanka?
“And that would explain why he popped into my bed.” The man didn't try to hide his guilty smile.
“...You're still sleeping with him?!” Enjin yelled, pointing his finger at the man’s chest and repeatedly hitting him at the same time. “I've been. Telling you. To stop!”
“Yeah, you really should rethink your relationship with him; Zanka is weird as hell. Not you, though.” The girl smiled apologetically at him.
“Wait, what’s our relationship? I mean between ya and the other?” Don't tell me the actual reason he was in his bed…
“We’re going out. More or less.” Jabber's smile changed into an affectionate one.
“Yer kiddin’ me!” Their Zanka was going out with Jabber?! And was suicidal? Wait, so these insane marks on the man's body were…
His face burned all of a sudden, red rising to his cheeks and smoke threatening to pop from his ears. No way…
Jabber can't be that good!
Zanka's heart skipped a beat when the other smiled charmingly at him again.
“Yeah, tell him. Maybe he will listen to you since you're also Zanka.” The red-haired girl rested her elbow on his shoulder, leaning on him. The gesture seemed so comforting right now; his friend would always do that in his universe and he would always feign displeasure.
“Nah. It's our thing; don't want anyone to disturb it. Even you.” The dark-skinned man passed his hand over his face, thumb caressing his cheek as his ring rubbed his skin.
Why was this Jabber so seductive?
“Crazy bastard,” Enjin commented. “Anyway, I don't want to see you one second more with these awful things on your back; go see Eishia before joining Semiu.”
He almost snorted as Jabber pouted, mumbling something, “Zanka won't like it,” before going toward the corridor.
“You go, too. Maybe our healer can find something by examining you.” Even if it wasn't the Enjin he always knew, he would listen to him. The older man had never seen him before, but to him, he owed him his life.
As he joined the other, Jabber put his arm around his shoulder like it was absolutely normal.
“Yer too close,” he scolded as he took a little distance, Jabber shrugging in answer.
“How is your Jabber?”
“He's a Raider. Probably the worst of them.” It seemed like the other man was interested because he was staring at him, listening to his every word. “Strong as hell, wild and violent. The kind of guy poundin’ at ya the second he sees ya. I haven't beaten him yet, though.”
It was very weird to talk about him when this Jabber was here; it felt unreal. But it was interesting to know that Cleaner Jabber wasn't crazy; he seemed like a really nice, normal guy. If you forget the horrible thing that decorated his back shoulder.
“My Zanka hasn't beaten me yet either.” He giggled. “We made a promise, y'see. He doesn't hurt himself anymore and doesn't try to die on his own. Instead, I let him hit me when we're not fighting seriously and I told him I would die with him if he wins. Don't plan to let it happen, though.” The man seemed awfully happy while telling him all of that.
“This guy is insane.” No wonder his team reacted so badly when they first saw him.
Jabber laughed again when he saw his widened blue eyes. “He's not that bad. I wish I could help him, y'know.” He smiled sadly before opening the infirmary door.
He was about to ask about it, but the sight of a frightened Eishia made him think twice; the blond girl seemed pretty scared, and he knew how anxious she was, so he took a step back. Ironically, she was more at ease with Jabber near her.
“En-Enjin asked me to heal your wounds,” she said without confidence before her pink eyes fell on him, almost accusingly.
Warmth rose again. “I wasn't the one who did that!” He would never!
His reaction made Jabber laugh loudly while he sat on one of the beds before removing his top; he thought that only his shoulders were injured, but his whole back was hurt! Zanka made sure to look away; he knew his face was scarlet.
The petite girl turned red in her turn when she examined the scratches on his back, looking terribly embarrassed. The fact that Jabber was so at ease made him think it wasn't the first time it had happened.
“You guys stop panicking; this is nothing~” the dark-skinned man said as Zanka's eyes fell again on his wounded back, fighting his embarrassment.
“They are pretty deep, ya know,” he commented.
Maybe he couldn't see the injuries because they were on his own back, but it was no joke. He wouldn't be surprised if he told him that the other Zanka was wearing knives in the place of his nails. And there were so many hickeys and bites; some of them were bleeding. It was embarrassing to look at them.
“Don't tell me ya also like pain?” he asked while Eishia started to heal him, too concentrated to hear them talk.
“Also?” the man asked curiously, tilting his head toward him.
“Not me.” Of course, he wasn't a damn masochist. “But the other Jabber loved pain. We could hit him, but his smile would always grow wider and he would keep fightin'.” Riyo had to put six bullets in him to make him stop moving.
“Oh, haha. Well, I’m just resistant to it. I'm so used to it I don't feel it that much. My Zanka is a huge sadist, though.” The man was talking fondly, as if he couldn't ask for better.
This Jabber must have a problem in his head to accept all of this.
Zanka wondered what happened to his other self; he would probably have found himself in the middle of the desert. Probably without a mask and adapted clothes, too, given he was sleeping at the time the warp happened. He hoped he had at least some clothes on him; Jabber didn't have any when he opened his eyes after swapping places with the other Zanka.
And Gris would wait for him hopelessly because there was no way the other Zanka knew that a driver was waiting for him to go back to their rendezvous point. He felt bad for the supporter; the Cleaners will probably try to search for him, too…
“I'm a little worried for Zanka; he would always take a shower after we did it,”—unnecessary information!—“and put on some night clothes, but he shouldn't have much on him right now.”
The dark-skinned man smirked when he saw his face totally flushed, amusement in his eyes. “I hope your Jabber will help him.”
He wasn't so sure about that.
…
How can a guy be so unlucky?
Mannn, guard duty sucked so much. Jabber couldn't believe it fell on him of all people. Noerde disappeared last time with the giant trash beast experiment, Fu too, and Bundus was busy looking for the choker maker, so there weren't many people available around here.
Zodyl had said it was his punishment for failing twice in a row on his missions, but he could at least have given him a little beating so he could chew on something before standing straight for hours! He knew he hated it!
Guarding the entrance of the Raider HQ was so boring; he was just looking at some point afar in the shadows, but nothing ever happened there. He couldn't even try his own poison on himself; Zodyl would totally kill him if he did that while on duty.
It wasn't like anyone would find their secret entrance in the secret HQ of their secret but not-so-secret criminal organization.
Bam!
He turned when he heard a crash behind him; a manhole he believed was sealed just fell into the tunnel, the sound echoing before someone landed on the floor, dust everywhere making it hard to distinguish the person.
Who???
Their underground base was under a collapsed building; every Raider knew the main entrance, but some of them, mainly the frontliners, knew of the other ways to enter. But he always thought this one was blocked and it wasn't possible to enter through it.
So, who was this special person who used it?
As he orientated the purple light on the source of the noise, the dust finally dissipated before he saw a silhouette standing, coughing with difficulty. What kind of idiot walked on the ground without a mask? Well, if your name wasn't Jabber.
He recognized the man that had appeared: the two colors of his hair, one brown, one a little clearer and looking more like blond, the deep blue eyes, and the unique eyebrows. Jabber could have told him apart from others at any time of the day.
But he didn't recognize the weird posture in which the nonchalant blond was standing, crouching a little. Not to mention the two piercings in his lower lip and the ones that decorated his ears.
The most surprising thing was the wounds and scars on his body; the man wore a short-sleeved T-shirt so Jabber could see the many injuries he seemed to bear. He thought the Cleaners had a strong healer; why did the man have so many on his body?
The way he was dressed wasn't really appropriate for taking a walk in a polluted zone, only wearing a dark shirt and loose pants. He didn't even have any shoes; what caused Zanka to come here like that???
The other flinched when he recognized him. “Why the hell yer here?!” Zanka seemed angry and shocked to see him; it wasn't unusual with how he seemed to hate him, but having wandered casually into the Raiders didn't put him in a position to talk!
“What do you mean? If you know how to enter here, you should know it's the Raider HQ!” he answered, talking with the same hostility. Zanka was unfortunately his enemy.
It sucked; if Zanka knew the way to get here, the Cleaners probably knew it, too. He didn't have a clue how he learned all of this. Anyway, he couldn't let him go after he saw him here; Jabber needed either to kill him or to capture him. He preferred the latter; he didn't like to kill strong guys and it would be good to have a hostage.
“I know damn well this is our HQ! That's why I'm askin’ ya, the fuck yer doin’ there?!” Our HQ???
Did the blond stay too long in the polluted zone and it messed up his brain?
And it was definitely weird how feral he looked; could someone change this radically in only a few weeks? He almost didn't recognize him anymore.
“Are you Zanka’s evil twin or something?” the dark-skinned man asked incredulously.
Both of them froze when they saw a spiral of blue and yellow appearing next to them before a small blue-haired woman came out of a portal made from a manhole.
“Cthoni!” they said at the same time before turning to each other, confused.
“I'm taking both of you to the boss.” With that, they were pulled by the arms by the woman before entering the portal. His mind spiraled during the transport, a weird mix of yellow and blue turning around him without ever becoming green.
He complained when he felt the hard ground, and let out a curse when Zanka landed on top of him, falling onto his stomach. They were welcomed by a raising of eyebrows, Zodyl staring at them while Cthoni joined his side, whispering something into his ear.
He shoved aside the blond before activating his vital instrument when he saw Zanka take his stick and move into a fighting posture. If he wanted a fight, he would gladly give it to him.
“Wait,” simply announced the boss of the Raiders. Surprising as it was, Zanka stopped completely before turning Zodyl’s way.
“Boss,” he heard the man say. Boss???
“I'm not your boss, yet you call me that. Why?” Zanka flinched as he looked at Cthoni for some support, but the way she looked at him didn't seem to convince him, so he simply looked at the ground. What did Zanka expect, coming alone into the Raider lair and calling Zodyl boss?
Was the man a spy for them without him knowing? It would be insane!
“Because yer my boss. I swore loyalty to ya a few years ago. Don't ya… remember?” It was shocking how vulnerable the man seemed all of a sudden, appearing to believe with strong conviction whatever bullshit he was speaking.
“I don't.”
“Oh.” Even he was feeling sad for Zanka. The man looked like he could cry at any moment, his long bangs falling on his face as his head fell down some more.
“Because it never happened. Not in my universe.”
“Huh?” Zanka asked at the same time as him, looking for Zodyl to continue.
“It seems like you don't belong here. The you we know is a member of the Cleaners; miserably lost twice against our frontliner Jabber, here.” The blond looked at him, sending daggers with his eyes.
“I believe I don't follow ya, Boss.”
“You've been swapped,” added Cthoni. He himself didn't have a clue what they were talking about.
“Yer tellin’ me I’ve traded places with another Zanka who was yer enemy?”
“I don't see any other explanation.” Zodyl stood up from his seat before standing in front of Zanka. “Will you be willing to work for me?” Jabber snorted when his boss immediately sought the opportunity; Zodyl never stopped reaching for useful pawns, it seemed.
“Of course, Sir! My life is yers to use!”
He cringed a little at how the blond comported himself; it was very troubling to witness.
“Don't disappoint me. Jabber, you take care of him for now.”
“Wha—Why?!”
“You're the one who begged me to let you fight him last time, and I let you do it, but you haven't accomplished your task. If you want to be with him so much, here you go.”
“This isn't my Zanka!” He wanted to fight with the one he knew; this one was weird!
He pouted when he saw Zodyl's serious expression; he couldn't negotiate that.
“Fine, let's go or whatever.” He sighed while leaving the room, followed by the other. At least he was dismissed from guard duty; he could be a little grateful for that, he guessed. And the situation itself was funny.
“Hey, Jab,” the other said, a nickname leaving his mouth as if it were only natural.
“What?”
“Let's do a double suicide later.”
“What?!” He stopped mid-track before the other bumped into his back, his arms passing around his shoulders as he felt the blond's warmth on his back.
“Let’s indulge in sweet death together; ya should listen to me as my boyfriend,” Zanka purred, a wild smile on his lips.
Boyfriend?!
“I don't know what relationship you had with my other self, but we’re not like that!” He pushed the man; he despised physical contact.
“Yet.” I beg your pardon??? “Jab said that, too, but it didn’t take him too much time before he accepted me. Even said that he would die with me if I beat him in a fight.” Zanka's dreamy smile was very, very creepy.
“You're crazy!” He knew about craziness; he himself was weird, but even Zanka was too much of a freak right now.
He flinched when the expression on his face cracked again into an insane smile, “So be a good boyfriend and let me show my love.”
“Never,” he tried to get away, but the other was right behind him, not planning to leave him alone.
“Yeah, whatever ya say. Yer fillin’ the role until I swap back.” The man bumped his shoulder before passing him, like he was totally used to this place. He started to believe Zanka was telling the truth; he knew the base perfectly, as if he owned the place.
But things weren't exactly the same, though.
“It isn't my room…?” he asked while opening a door leading to the room he used for his experiments; everyone knew they shouldn't go there unless they wanted to die.
“I use this one.” When Zanka pointed to the door next to him, he laughed before adding, “This one, too.” He quickly stopped laughing when the man boldly entered the room, making himself at home.
“Hey!”
“Jab was a lot more steady than ya,” he commented, looking around before passing his finger over the furniture, disgusted by the dust.
“It's not like it matters! It's not even your room.” This Zanka had one hell of a nasty personality!
“It will be.” His eyes widened at these words.
“Listen here,” he went to Zanka before grabbing his shirt and pulling him toward him. “We’re letting you stay; the least you can do is show gratitude.”
The other seemed unbothered by his outburst, passing his hands through his dreadlocks. “Oh, but I’ll show ya gratitude,” he smirked.
Damn freak!
He immediately let go of him, not wanting to know what kind of gratitude he was talking about. Zanka said they were going out, but surely they didn't have much contact, right? He wasn't the kind of guy who liked contact; the other Jabber was probably the same.
“A quick question: when you said I was your boyfriend, err… how far did we…?” Ugh, he was disgusted by his own embarrassment.
“Ya let me do whatever I want,” Zanka giggled happily.
This couldn't be good.
“Want me to show ya?” Jabber flinched when the man sensually put his hand around his waist, his eyes sparking with malice.
“Fuck no!”