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Seonghyeon has not once regretted anything in his life.
Or that’s what he would try to talk himself into.
You know not everyone always gets a happy ending with laughs and hugs.
Seonghyeon knows that,
but he did hope for a happy ending.
he really did.
He didn’t wanna wake up everyday and be rude to everyone.
But it’s his own fault.
He did this to himself.
Every decision he made for his own future,
He did it.
Not Martin.
Not Juhoon.
Not James.
He did it himself.
But he doesn’t blame himself.
Well,
No he does.
He definitely blames himself.
Well..
Why?
…
Whatever,
He doesn’t know either.
I mean, everyone knows that Seonghyeon is cold,
Some might even say heartless.
Which he isn’t by the way,
His friends don’t think so.
Or do they?
Seonghyeon likes one thing.
He likes writing lyrics.
In his opinion that’s the only way to escape reality.
I mean everyone copes different.
Seonghyeon doesn’t have any friends, except for Martin, James, and Juhoon.
He doesn’t like people.
They’re loud,
dramatic
and annoying as fuck.
He especially hates human beings when they get all happy.
He deserves happiness.
Is something Martin would say,
Seonghyeon doesn’t necessarily think so.
He rather thinks he deserves death..
Nah, now he is being dramatic.
He sometimes asks himself why his mother gave birth to him.
Does he really deserve this life?
Not really.
He hates everyone.
Sometimes even his own friends.
They’re also happy.
Well they try to be.
Life sucks.
Does it?
I don’t know.
It does.
Why does something called “being alive” even exist?
Everyone should just die.
Maybe then there would be peace in this world.
He likes seeing his friends so in love.
Martin love juhoon, juhoon loves james, james loves Martin. But james also loves juhoon, and Juhoon also loves Martin.. but Martin also loves james—
Ugh, this is complicated.
The three of them definitely love each other.
What is Love?
Seonghyeon never experienced that feeling..
Well again—That’s his own fault.
He wanted love, he wanted to love someone and he wanted to be loved so bad.
But he messed it up himself.
All because he is a cold jerk who’s also the biggest bitch on planet earth.
His own words to describe himself btw.
No one else thinks he’s like that.
Right?
Right.
A boy,
Ahn Keonho.
The person who was ready to give Seonghyeon the whole world.
The person who loved Seonghyeon.
The person who needed Seonghyeon to love him back.
Seonghyeon wouldn’t,
he couldn’t.
He remembers once getting a text message from Keonho.
Keonho: Hyeonieeee
Sean: what.
Keonho: is it better to speak or to die?
Sean: to die.
Keonho read the message and never texted Seonghyeon again.
Well whatever.
He knew Keonho loved him.
He knew the boy would’ve done everything for him.
He didn’t wanna accept the fact that someone was ready to accept him tho.
He was alone his whole life,
Why would suddenly a person like Keonho want to love him?
Keonho is sweet,
cute,
bubbly.
A person who smiles a lot,
Who is happy all the time.
Seonghyeon wanted to be like Keonho.
He wanted to smile everything away despite how much it hurts.
He respected keonho because of that.
He really did.
He always thought that Keonho was the happiest person on planet earth.
The boy never stopped smiling.
Didn’t his cheekbones hurt?
Who knows..
Seonghyeon definitely doesn’t.
And he can’t ask either.
He wouldn’t dare.
Seonghyeon’s life is sad.
Everyone hates him, he’s sure of that.
He doesn’t even have emotions.
No one ever saw him cry.
Or does he?
Does he cry?
No one thinks so.
No one is close enough with Seonghyeon to find out if the boy ever dropped one tear for something that actually hurt his feelings.
If something did happen that hurt his feelings,
He would brush it off, get all angry and rude.
That’s who Seonghyeon was.
He doesn’t want to be known like that tho.
But it’s his fault,
He did this to himself.
Oh yeah we already said that.
Whatever.
… yeah.
whatever.
——
Flashback 3 years ago.
13.01.2026.
Today is Seonghyeon’s birthday.
Today was the day to open the letter.
“For Eom Seonghyeon: open when turning 17!!”
Dear Seonghyeon,
I know you’re probably reading this letter right now, thinking to yourself on why you even thought about opening this. Well I’m glad you did open this, because I need to tell you some stuff I feel like you need to hear.
Wanting love is not embarrassing. You grew up all alone, without friends or parents who were there to support you. I understand the fact that you weren’t ready to receive or give love just yet. But I always promised myself that one day you would realize how much I actually loved you.
You’re not a cold heartless person. That’s at least not how I see you. I see you as a sweet and caring person when you really feel the need to care. You don’t have to like anyone, I don’t really like humans either. They’re evil and cruel. I understand you.
I want you to know that, in the deep future you will have someone who is ready to give up everything for you, I know for a fact I tried, but I wasn’t that person for you. And I don’t blame you. You’re only 17 now.
If you find out what happens soon enough, just know it’s not your fault. Nothing is. I wanted to speak. I really did.
What I’m trying to say is that, you’re human too. And it’s okay to feel sometimes even tho you don’t like to show emotions. Cry, laugh, scream. It’s okay. It will be okay. I promise.
Your dearest,
Ahn Keonho.
——
13.01.2029
If someone asked Eom Seonghyeon now, that if he would rather speak or die, he would choose to speak.
It’s been 3 years since he read that letter. Three whole years.
He’s 20 now.
Still single but coping with life.
He doesn’t think he is the type of person for love anymore.
He’s currently going to college with his best friends.
Broke but, he’s okay.
He smiles a lot more,
Did you know that Eom Seonghyeon had dimples?
Martin, James and Juhoon didn’t know either.
Seonghyeon still writes lyrics as a way to escape reality.
Everyone copes with stuff differently.
He has this one song produced,
It’s his favorite one.
Forever 16.
It means the world to him.
It really does.
——
You’re eyes are a deep beautiful brown.
I wish, in them, I could just drown.
I forgot the sound of your voice.
but I did this to myself, by choice.
The damage is done, there’s no going back.
You’re like the sun, explained by this track.
I look at your pictures through the screen.
My dear, forever sixteen.
——
Seonghyeon put the guitar down next to the grave.
The one he visited everyday.
Seonghyeon put orchids on the grave.
Ahn Keonho.
14.02.2009 — 10.01.2026
Seonghyeon turned 17 three days after.
13.01.2026,
the day he read that letter.
He didn’t know that Keonho was dead at the time.
No one did.
——
he remembers the police knocking on his door one day after his birthday.
14.01.2026.
they talked but everything was a blur.
“Ahn Keonho is pronounced dead in his apartment, due to suicide. I’m so sorry for your loss”.
seonghyeon scoffed, he didn’t believe it.
he told the police to drop the act.
But the police was confused..
what act?
keonho was actually dead.
that was no joke.
and no one knew?
Exactly,
only Seonghyeon did.
because just like Seonghyeon,
Keonho had no one.
He only had Seonghyeon.
And this all happened because Seonghyeon chose not to speak.
Now, Seonghyeon was allowed to continue his life while Keonho stayed forever sixteen.
he wished he died instead.
The biggest regret of his life.
”I love you, Ahn Keonho”.