Chapter Text
There is no worse lie than a truth misunderstood by those who hear it. William James
Raven was like a kid in a candy store as she went through Polis’ market. Lexa said she would cover the cost of any tek related items Raven purchased, and there were many vendors who sold bits of the old world. Wells tried to keep up. He followed her, jotting notes with the ideas that flowed from Raven’s tireless brain and keeping track of which vendor had what.
When they reached the end of the market, Raven turned to him and said, “I want all of it.”
“I’m not sure that’s what Heda meant when she said she’d pay for what you needed.”
She pulled him to the side, where they wouldn’t impede the flow of pedestrians. “Think of all she wants us to do, Wells. Lights and pumps are only the beginning.”
“I’ll talk to her, Raven, but we can’t do it all at once.”
“We need helpers, and she’ll give them to us. How many villages have Min and Ash helped?”
“I’ll talk to her,” Wells repeated.
“We can change the world,” Raven said with a wide smile. “We can make it better. Clarke would be proud,” she added quietly.
“I know. We just need to take one step at a time. We aren’t ready to run, not yet.”
“I’ve never been able to decide whether you’re the voice of reason or an anchor.”
“No reason I can’t be both,” Wells said. Half a second later, they both laughed.
“One step at a time,” Raven said when she caught her breath.
“One step at a time,” Wells agreed.
100 - 100 - 100
“You sent for me, Heda?”
“I did, Octavia.” Lexa gestured toward the table waiting near the window.
“How can I help you?” Octavia asked as she entered the room.
“Do you remember our first meeting?”
“Of course.”
“And Clarke.”
“I remember Clarke quite well, Heda.”
“I am not convinced she is dead.”
“Why do you say that?”
“No one saw her. We did not find her body. People do not just disappear.”
“I lost track of her after I brought you the radio.”
“I sent a guard to return her to camp, but he said he could not find her. I saw her in Mount Weather, just for a moment, and she was gone. She was not among the dead, but she did not return to Tondisi. I believe Azgeda held her, once they learned from my messengers who she was.”
“Why would they do that?”
“It’s a long story,” Lexa said, and turned to look out the window. “No one there would help her.”
“I don’t understand.”
“I am sorry, Octavia. I do not mean to trouble you with my thoughts. Are you enjoying your stay in Polis?”
“Very much. Miller and I are learning new skills every day.”
“I am glad to hear it. It won’t be long before you are both warriors in your own rights.”
“We serve you, Heda.”
“Is it hard, Octavia, having so few of your people near?”
“The only people I had on the Ark were my mother and my brother. My mother was floated when the authorities learned of my existence, and my brother died in Mount Weather. Trikru are my people.”
“And the other Skaikru?”
“They are my friends.”
“Yet the four of you are together at every opportunity.”
“We are friends, Heda. We grew up in the same environment. We were thrown away by the same people, and taken in by the same people. We are no threat to you or anyone else.”
“I was not implying anything of the kind. I wonder whether you speak of Clarke.”
“Sometimes. Wells was her best friend. When he wants to talk, we listen. When he doesn’t, we change the subject.”
Lexa nodded.
“Is there anything else, Heda?”
“No, Octavia. Thank you.”
Octavia bowed and let herself out. Lexa went onto the balcony and leaned on the rail. She looked past Polis to the north. Nia was planning something. More than a year passed since Mount Weather was captured, and Azgeda’s ambassadors had been unusually quiet and agreeable in that time. In the past month, the ambassador began to return to his old behavior.
She went back inside and opened a book she carried everywhere with her. Lexa had Clarke’s drawings of the Mountain bound between leather covers. It was the only physical thing that remained. Lexa looked at them and remembered Clarke’s attention as she focused on getting them just right, remembered Clarke taking them from her and setting them aside so they could have a few minutes together.
Lexa couldn’t get Azgeda off her mind. She wouldn’t sleep tonight, the anniversary of finding Costia’s battered head under her blankets. It was complicated by Clarke’s absence. Worry gnawed at her. Clarke knew no more than Costia about Lexa’s secrets, but that wouldn’t stop Nia from keeping her captive and doing whatever she could to tear them from her.
100 – 100 – 100
“Clarke, I must travel to Polis. Lexa has demanded that the leaders of all the clans assemble, but has given no reason. You will travel with me. The time has come to challenge Lexa. She is weak, and her rule must end.”
Clarke didn’t answer. There wasn’t a question in anything Nia said. Instead, she continued to eat her meal.
“We leave tomorrow. Ontari will come, as well.”
“Yes, my queen,” Ontari answered.
On the walk back to their apartment, Ontari said, “You must be careful, Clarke. Nia will set an impossible task for you. She believes you are loyal, but she has not demanded you join Azgeda or offered your marks. There must be a reason.”
“You be careful, too. I don’t like the way she’s been looking at you.”
“Clarke, I am serious.”
“So am I, Ontari. You’re the only friend I have here. Nia’s deliberately isolated me. If anything happens to you, no one will speak on my behalf.”
“I will protect you, if I can.”
“Thank you.”
100 – 100 – 100
They left early the next morning. Clarke and Ontari rode on either side of and just behind Nia, slowly eating the cold breakfast provided at the stables. Their eyes constantly swept the area around and in front of them. Clarke knew there was no danger; scouts always rode ahead to ensure Nia’s path was clear. She also knew that the slightest injury to Azplana would be repaid to her a hundredfold, regardless of her lack of culpability.
Clarke was stunned as they approached Polis. She remembered Lexa’s descriptions, but they did not come close to what Clarke saw, the enormous wall, the tower rising from the middle of the city, more people than she saw in her life. She wondered what was inside, recalling the descriptions of a library, art everywhere, and the dress and customs of everyone in the coalition and a few from beyond its borders.
She didn’t expect the city guard to escort them to a stable, and then to the tower. They stood at attention on the corners of the platform that slowly rose to the highest floor, walked them down the long hallway lined with double doors, and held the doors of the last one open for them to pass through.
Clarke’s breath stopped for a moment and everything went red. While Nia bowed and the rest of the entourage took a knee, Clarke stood and glared at Lexa. She may be Heda, but to Clarke she was the person who personally betrayed Clarke by allowing Skaikru, a bunch of unarmed, untrained, underfed children, to be slaughtered.
The city guard surrounded Clarke, circling her with spears. In the distance, she heard Nia’s protests. Clarke had sense enough not to move until Lexa called off the guards. She turned and stalked from the throne room, not caring what anyone might say or do to punish her disrespect.
The ancient exit sign gave her a way out, and Clarke took it. She raced down the stairs, fighting against dizziness from the constant circling, and nearly missed the sign above the door opening to the outside. She hit it hard and stumbled into a training area. Clarke was about to take off running, to find somewhere she could let out all she was feeling, when she heard her name.
“Clarke,” Octavia repeated with certainty and sheathed her weapon as she approached her.
“Octavia?”
“Sha, Klark. We thought you were dead.” Octavia threw her arms around the blonde and turned her head to speak to Miller, a few steps behind her. “Find Wells. Bring him to our quarters.”
Clarke saw him race away. “Who’s that?”
“Miller. He and Raven survived what those bastards in the Mountain did.”
“You mean Trikru.”
“No, Clarke, the people in Mount Weather. They were harvesting our bone marrow so they could walk outside.”
“Octavia, Trikru murdered Skaikru. I watched one of them kill your brother.”
“Do you believe any Trikru would disobey Heda’s orders, Clarke? C’mon, we have lot to talk about.”
Octavia talked while she pulled Clarke along to the small house given to Skaikru for their stay in Polis. She was still talking when the door slammed open.
“Clarke, is it really you?”
“It’s me, Wells.”
Raven and Miller came in behind him, and Miller closed the door.
“Where have you been?” Wells asked while he hugged her tightly. “Heda searched for you. We thought you were dead.”
Before Clarke could answer, there was pounding on the door. The city guard opened it, and the first one through pointed at Clarke. “You will come with us.”
“No.”
“Clarke, do what they say,” Octavia said.
Clarke drew her sword. Miller and Octavia tackled her. Raven quickly stomped on Clarke’s wrist, and bent to take her blade when her fingers opened involuntarily. The room was a cacophony of voices, pleas and demands for Clarke to submit.
When it ended, there were many fresh bruises, including some on Clarke, who was bound, the rope around her wrists also wrapped around her throat. Octavia took possession of Clarke’s weapons as the guard dragged her away.
She put them on the table. Raven examined them. “Azgeda,” she said.
“Heda was right,” Octavia said with disbelief.
“What?” Wells asked.
“She called me to her quarters a few days ago and we talked about Clarke. Heda said she feared Azgeda took Clarke.”
“So she’s brainwashed?” Miller said.
“I don’t know.” Octavia went to a trunk and came back with a blanket. She wrapped Clarke’s weapons in it and put it under the fur covering her bed. “Let’s see what we can find out.”
100 – 100 – 100
Clarke was the only prisoner in the jail. Her hands were still bound because of her stubbornness. She resisted the guards at every step and for her trouble was thrown headfirst into the stone wall at the back of the cell. She didn’t know how much time passed before she returned to consciousness with a sore neck, knot on her head, and headache that wouldn’t quit. At least the rope wasn’t still around her neck.
She worked to get free of the ropes restraining her, and stopped her failed attempts only when blood ran freely down her palms.
“Back up to the bars and I will remove the binding,” Lexa said.
“Like I trust you near me with a knife.”
“Suit yourself, Clarke. I came to release you, but you may stay here if you wish.”
Clarke growled and backed up to the bars. A few seconds later she felt the burn of sensation returning to her hands and turned around. She left her hands at her sides, unwilling to give Lexa the satisfaction of seeing her discomfort.
“My advisers say I should banish you, at the least, but Nia argued eloquently on your behalf. You have not sworn fealty to her, or to me, so your disrespect is excused. That will not happen again.”
“Why should I bow to you? Because you murdered my friends?”
“I did not, Clarke. I ordered that they remain barricaded inside their room until it was safe for them to come out. They were to be rescued. As it turned out, only two people were saved from Maun-de. All my people were murdered days before we entered.”
Clarke blinked, remembering Wells’ description of the cages. There were hundreds of grounder prisoners in Mount Weather. Her anger slipped for a moment. “I’m sorry.”
“It was not your fault. Thanks to Skaikru, we at least got to release their souls. We could not bury your people, so we put them on the pyre, as well.”
“Why are you telling me this?”
“You must make a decision, Clarke. Azgeda is part of the coalition. A particularly troublesome member, but one of us nonetheless. I do not know why you have not pledged fealty to Nia, but you cannot stay in Polis without swearing fealty to someone.”
“To you.”
“Or to Nia, which would be the same, but I warn you that Nia is not worthy of your trust.”
Clarke frowned, trying think, to sort out everything in her head. She thought Lexa would be angry, as she was, but she was here without guards, unafraid, speaking softly. Clarke raised her hands and massaged her aching head.
“You are hurt.”
“It’s nothing.”
“I will send a healer.”
“Don’t. Just, Trikru told stories around the fire, but I saw none of what they said in Azgeda.”
“When we met, Clarke, I was worried that you were another spy. I did not think I would find myself so drawn to you. I was alone, by choice, for years before you came to me. I loved a girl. She was so beautiful, so kind. She took all of my pain and doubt and made me strong. And then she was gone. I searched for her, as I have searched for you, but I did not find her. What I found was her head in my bed with a note from Nia. My beautiful girl was taken because she was mine, because Nia thought she could learn something from Costia to give her an advantage over me. Costia knew nothing, but was tortured for the crime of loving me. For a long time after, I believed love is weakness. Loving her broke me and you.” Lexa stopped to gather her thoughts.
“I’m sorry,” Clarke repeated. “I didn’t know.”
“I know that you could not fight Nia. I do not blame you for believing I betrayed you. I am glad to see you alive and well, Clarke, even if you do not wish the same for me. I will send a healer. Tell the guards when you make your decision.”
Clarke stared for several seconds at the space where Lexa had been standing, then went and sat on the bunk. She had been told so much in the past hours and couldn’t sort it all so it made any kind of sense.
She stayed on the bunk, elbows on her thighs, fingers massaging her temples, until she heard the gate open. Two people entered her cell. One was Ontari, and Clarke was never so glad to see anyone.
“Heda said you are injured,” a large Trikru man said.
“Nyko?”
“Sha, Klark. What have you done to yourself?”
“Bump on the head and scraped wrists.” Clarke sat up and held out her arms.
Ontari unbuttoned the cuff and rolled up Clarke’s sleeve and walked behind Nyko to do the same to the other side.
“Look at me,” Nyko instructed, and lit a small flashlight.
“Where’d you get that?” Clarke asked.
“Raven. Follow my finger.”
Clarke did as he instructed and let him examine her head and neck. She answered his questions while he cleaned and bandaged her wrists.
“You have a concussion and should not be alone. You must stay awake for at least 12 hours.”
“I will stay with Clarke,” Ontari volunteered.
“I will return to check on you later. If you are released, come to the infirmary.”
“Thank you, Nyko.”
“It is good to see you, Clarke. I will tell Skaikru you are not in danger.”
“Thanks,” Clarke said. She waited for Nyko to leave before asking Ontari, “How mad is Nia?”
“She is not angry. She is pleased and a little amused. I do not understand why, but she said I should remain with you until you are returned to her.”
“Lexa came to speak with me. She had a lot to say.”
“What did she tell you?”
“I shouldn’t trust Nia.”
“She is my queen, but Heda’s advice is sound. When you are no longer of use to her, Nia will cast you aside.”
“I don’t understand what’s happening,” Clarke said.
“I wish I could help you, Clarke.”
“Just stay safe, Ontari.” Clarke slid back until her back rested against the wall. Ontari remained seated near her, and turned so she could see Clarke. “Lexa said I can’t leave here until I swear fealty to someone.”
“You are in a dangerous position, Clarke. Nia will not take it well if you do not choose Azgeda.”
“If she wants me to be Azgeda, why hasn’t she given me my marks? Why does she still call me Clarke of the sky?”
“I do not know. Nia does not share her plans. She fears spies.”
“Why did Lexa bring Azgeda into the coalition if Nia killed her lover?”
“She believes that peace makes us stronger.”
“And Nia disagrees.”
“Yes.”
“I don’t know what to do. I saw my friends for a few seconds. They told me other things, things I have to think about. This decision I’m supposed to make terrifies me. If I don’t go with Azgeda, I could lose everything, my home, you. But if I do, I have to do whatever fucked up thing Nia orders.”
“Yes.”
“There’s no right answer here, is there?”
“I do not know what answer is right for you, Clarke.”
They stopped talking because the door to the corridor opened again. They didn’t hear footsteps, but seconds later, Clarke’s friends were lined up along the bars of her cell.
“Who’s that?” Miller asked.
“Ontari kom Azgeda. Ontari, this is Skaikru. Raven, Wells, Octavia, and Miller.”
“Clarke, we talked to Heda,” Octavia said. “You’re still part of Skaikru.”
“You’re with Trikru.”
“We are,” Raven said, “but we’re also on our own.”
“What does that mean?”
“Heda recognizes Skaikru. We choose to stay with Trikru, but she will not stop us from moving.”
“Heda told you that,” Ontari said skeptically.
“Not that it’s any of your business, but yeah.” Octavia answered.
“Have any of you had to officially do or say anything to make you part of Trikru or follow Heda?”
“What do you mean?” Wells asked.
“Was there a ceremony or anything? Did you guys get a tattoo or a mark? Have to say anything?”
“Friends of yours, Clarke?” Nia asked from just outside her field of vision.
Clarke and Ontari both stood. Skaikru turned to see who was speaking.
“Clarke, we’ll come back later,” Octavia said. She and Miller pushed Wells and Raven around the Azgeda queen.
“You don’t look well, Clarke. Did your friends tire you out?”
“I’m fine.”
“You’re fortunate you’re still here.”
“Thank you.”
“I assume you wish to be released from this pit, but I can’t get you out until Heda convenes the clans tomorrow. She’ll have you brought before them.”
“I’ll be ready.”
“Make sure you are. I understand the healer said you must not be left alone for several hours. Ontari will stay with you.”
“Thank you,” Clarke said again.
“I will send clothes for both of you. You must look presentable before Heda.”
“Thank you, my queen.”
“Do not thank me for what a leader does for her followers,” Nia said, and left them. When they heard the door to the corridor close, both Clarke and Ontari slumped onto the bench.
“Well, she didn’t actually threaten either of us,” Clarke said.
“She wouldn’t. There are ears here.”
Clarke sighed. “I don’t know what to do.”
“I cannot help you make that decision. I’m sorry, Clarke.”
Clarke got up and began to pace. She knew she had most of the pieces of the puzzle, but couldn’t find a way to fit all she learned into one cohesive image. Her head pounded and she realized how sore her neck was when she tried to roll it to ease some of the tension she carried. Ontari saw that and summoned Clarke.
“Here,” Ontari said, pointing to the bunk.
Clarke reluctantly did as instructed, and Ontari dug powerful thumbs into the sorest place below Clarke’s neck. After several minutes, Clarke’s head dropped and Ontari dug a knuckle between her ribs, jerking her back into consciousness. “You must stay awake,” she told Clarke.
They heard the door open again.
“I don’t know why she bothered to lock me up,” Clarke said.
It was Nyko this time. He checked Clark again, and this time cleared her to rest.
“I’ll stay if you want,” Ontari offered.
“I’ll be fine. I’m just going to sleep.”
“I will return to make sure you bathe and are properly dressed.”
“Thanks, both of you,” Clarke said, and stretched out on the bunk. She was half asleep before the cell door closed, and completely gone before the corridor door slammed again.