Work Text:
wanna hang out tomorrow ?
or well later today
That's the message Mizuki sends to Ena at exactly 4:38 AM on a Saturday morning, unable to sleep with a mind plagued by the unsolicited opinions of people with no desire to understand her.
Ena is either very tired or very focused on the latest art piece she has requested for the MV because all she sends in response is a thumbs up emoji. She can't help but snort at the uncharacteristically short response. Still, as entertaining as it is to tease Ena, Mizuki doesn't want to be too much of a bother. Just one more thing she had to do before she could be out of her hair. She calculates exactly eight hours from 5:00 AM, then after some consideration, adds another two.
is 3 ok?
Ena sends another thumbs up. A fond smile crosses Mizuki's face. She's definitely drawing. If she were simply tired she would have tried assembling a coherent sentence by now. She has full confidence that the drawing will turn out amazing as always, and has already decided to stay out of Ena's hair. Still, it couldn't hurt to remind her of healthy sleeping habits. Tentatively, she sends a message.
get some sleep okay
Truthfully she wouldn't mind seeing Kumanan again. She says as much in her next message. Then, Mizuki watches as the typing indicator appears, dissapears, and then appears again. She counts the seconds it remains on screen for, far too long for Ena to be simply choosing an emoji, especially when she's already used the same one twice. It's just as Mizuki had feared. She'd pushed for too long and knocked Ena out of the zone.
you should sleep too
The typing indicator appears then disappears, then appears once more.
see you tmmrw
Ena has chosen not to dignify the Kumanan comment with a response. Not that Mizuki expected any different. Ena was an entirely different person past 4 AM, her sharper, rougher edges smoothed down by a lack of sleep. She's softer— not cuter, Mizuki finds every version of Ena cute, but she's softer, more honest if that's even possible.
In all honesty, Mizuki hardly knows what to do with it.
Ena has grown a bit softer throughout the time they've known each other. Mizuki doesn't think she liked her very much before they met in person, something she can't really blame her for as the feeling was mutual at first. Now, as they've gotten to know each other better, she'd like to think she knows this is no longer the case. Ena's retorts don't have the same bite they used to, and after that day in the alleyway, when Mizuki had expelled most of her deepest feelings, secret and all laid bare for her to see, it seems as though that softness has increased tenfold.
She just doesn't understand it. How could Ena react to the fact that Mizuki had been lying to her this whole time with such kindness? Why was she being so gentle with her all of a sudden? Was it pity? Surely not. Mizuki isn't made of glass and Ena knows that. She's still rough with her sometimes, just like she used to be, but it's almost always accompanied by a soft "yeah, yeah" and a look on her face that Mizuki doesn't know what to make of.
She buries her face into the pillow, hoping the asphyxiation would erase the blush rising to her cheeks.
It doesn't matter and there's nothing more to it. Mizuki is just making things up, letting her own long-repressed desires twist things into something they aren't. Ena just missed her, that's all. She missed Ena too, which is why they were going to hang out tomorrow.
…Actually now that she thought about it, she hadn't specified where they would be going or even where to meet up.
She glances over at her phone screen which tells her the time is now 4:45. Her face returns to the suffocating coolness of the pillow.
She couldn't send another message to clarify, especially not after asking her to sleep, so this was just going to have to be something Mizuki figures out in the morning, or more like in a few hours. It's not like it'll be particularly difficult, she'll just send Ena a message once the sun was an acceptable distance above the horizon.
She removes her face from the pillow to stare at the window. She knows she won't be getting much sleep, as hypocritical as it is of her. That's fine, she has some planning to do anyway.
This isn't the first time she's spontaneously asked Ena to hang out with her, so by now choosing a destination or two isn't very difficult. She actually has a mental list of places she'd like to take Ena to, like that hole in the wall cafe with the really photogenic cheesecake. All she really has to do is pick a few of them and then mentally plan a route between them. Of course, like all of her plans, they're subject to change on a whim. There's no way to tell how either of them will feel tomorrow , even if that's only a few hours away, and Mizuki has always been one to decide on things spontaneously regardless. The planning is just something that gives her a bit of peace of mind, no matter how unlikely it is that she'll stick to it. Something about being able to play her perfect day in her head as many times as she wants is a small comfort.
Tonight, however, her thoughts betray her, and her perfect day seems to always contain an 'I love you' or two, or three, or four sprinkled throughout, a kiss if she's feeling especially bold. It isn't as though she doesn't want these things. Just that she shouldn't, because they aren't going to happen. She'd like to keep these fantasies grounded in at least some semblance of reality, because that's all they'll ever be, fantasies, even if admitting that hurts just a little.
But she's already let her thoughts run rampant, and she cannot quite reign them back in when her heart isn't truly in it. She's being selfish and greedy, she knows. Ena has already promised her forever, already given her an inch, an inch more than she deserves, and yet here she is taking a mile. But what's the harm in having these fantasies in the complete privacy of her home, where only herself and whatever higher power was up there were privy to them?
Mizuki knows she isn't getting much sleep tonight.
Morning announces itself with sun rays warming Mizuki's face. She hasn't slept a wink, thoughts of Ena circling her mind and making such a thing impossible. She feels fine. It's not as if this is her first all-nighter. Besides, it wasn't for nothing. She got plenty of planning done, if one could call fantasizing about Ena confessing to her on a park bench that looks far less romantic in person planning.
There was just one order of business for her to do: decide on where to meet up.
Ena has her address and she has Ena's. It was a provision made after the alleyway confession, so they'd know where to start looking if anything like that were to happen again. She probably could show up on Ena's doorstep at three. It would probably be easy to. Still, Mizuki doesn't know how her family would feel about her showing up unannounced and she has no clue what she'd do if Ena's father were the one to answer the door. She could ask Ena to come to her house, but Ena seeing the sanctuary of her home, where every piece of her, especially the ugly bits resided was a level of vulnerability she wasn't quite ready for yet.
Scramble crossing is a good neutral point, she decides, shooting Ena a quick message. She doesn't expect her to respond. It's not even noon yet, after all.
With that handled, she stands, preparing to officially start her day. A quick breakfast of toaster waffles should do just fine. According to the clock, it was 10:22, meaning Mizuki doesn't need to get ready just yet.
She spent breakfast pondering what to wear. It was far too hot for layers, unfortunately. Maybe less is more, at least for today. Still, maybe three quarter sleeves wouldn't hurt. She hums as she considers her options, Eventually deciding on a flowy floral print blouse with butterfly sleeves and a plain white skirt, adorned in lace of course.
Quite the stretch of time remained between now and their allotted meeting time. While she'd usually arrive at the crossing far earlier than she needed to out of a mild (and irrational) fear of disappointing Ena by being late, Mizuki is determined to exercise some restraint.
Mizuki arrives at Scramble crossing a full twenty minutes early. So much for restraint, especially considering Ena has a track record for being late to things. She's not sure why she's always been so determined to be early to these hangouts. It's a good habit to have though, she thinks, it shows respect for Ena's time. Besides, she always carries something to pass the time with around. It doesn't take long for her to pull out the miniature ball of yarn she carries around and start finger crocheting. Granny squares don't require too much thought so they were the perfect thing for Mizuki to occupy her hands with.
The small craft has her full attention for a while, but she still manages to spot Ena approaching her in the crowd. She checks the time. 3:04. She stands as Ena reaches her, yawning and rubbing her eyes. Clearly she didn't get ample sleep last night, not that Mizuki did either.
"Only five minutes late," she teases, "Enanan that's a new record!"
"For your information, I'm only four minutes late, not five," she counters after checking her phone. "And you say that like I've never been on time before!"
"Well if the shoe fits…"
Ena huffs. "So, are we going or what?"
She reaches to interlock their arms. It isn't an intimate gesture, Mizuki knows. It's just because the crossing is crowded and Ena doesn't want to lose her in the crowd. Besides, she's seen several of the girls at school do this before. It's something completely natural between friends.
"Mizuki?"
Right, she hadn't moved yet. Ena is waiting on her because she doesn't know where they're going. Because she never asked. Why didn't she ever ask?
"Oh. Right, sorry."
She takes her to a small cafe that happens to sell really nice looking cheesecake. It's clear that she needs the caffeine, Ena is practically asleep on her feet. Besides, it's not like Mizuki would say no to coffee.
Despite having never been here before, she already knows what Ena will order upon glancing upon the menu: a mocha frappichino with chocolate drizzle on the whipped cream and a slice of cheesecake with the small chocolate shavings on top.
"You're so predictable," she teases later, when they're sitting at their small table, drinks in hand.
Ena glares at her, but it's very difficult to look intimidating when sipping on a drink containing copious amounts of sugar and Mizuki only laughs.
"At least I didn't order that monstrosity you call a parfait."
Mizuki looks down at her rainbow parfait with whipped cream and sprinkles. She offers a spoonful to Ena. "Don't knock it 'till you try it princess~"
She blushes, but reluctantly takes a bite. "It's decent," she concedes.
A satisfied smile stretches across Mizuki's face. She takes a bite herself, relishing in how the whipped cream melts in her mouth. When she opens her eyes again, she spots Ena staring at her with that overly fond look in her eye.
"What is it?" she asks, "Am I just so cute that you can't keep your eyes off of me?"
Ena grumbles a bit, averting her eyes. "Yeah, whatever."
Mizuki chuckles.
Then she turns to face her again. "It's just… I really missed you."
"Missed me? Enanan~ you saw me just yesterday, you know!"
"That's not what I meant and you know it. You know what I'm talking about."
She does know actually. That stretch of time between the festival and the alleyway felt years behind her, but also like it was yesterday. Sometimes she still woke with the urge to break away from niigo. Sometimes she still worried that her friends would one day realize the true gravity of her secret and see her for what she really was. She still didn't understand why seemingly nothing had changed.
"Yeah." her voice no longer contained that layer of false cheer. "I missed you too."
She missed Ena more than anything.
"I was so worried I'd lost you forever," she admits. "Mizuki, I was scared you'd really gone and done it."
The sight of Ena on the verge of tears because of her makes a sharp stab of guilt echo in her heart.
"I'm sorry, Ena. I'm really sorry." She tries to keep her tears at bay, but the ache in her heart is too much and— damn it, she really shouldn't be crying over coffee.
Ena reaches over with a napkin and dries her tears. "Hey, let's take this coffee to go, okay?"
Mizuki nods eagerly. "You should finish your cheesecake first."
She takes a bite of the cheesecake then offers one to Mizuki.
"Well?" she prompts when she doesn't move to accept it.
"My, my~ What an intimate gesture! Why if I didn't know any better I'd think you were in love with me or something~"
"Shut up and take a bite already."
Mizuki happily does what she's told. The cheesecake tastes as good as it looks, the hint of chocolate complimenting the creamy flavor nicely. Once she's done, Ena smiles fondly.
Mizuki still doesn't know what to make of it.
The mall they frequent never stays quite the same for too long. Old stores are always closing, new ones are always opening. Mizuki always feels a bit bad when she sees the bright red 'everything must go' sign in front of a store.
Of course when she sees one in front of a boutique she's never thought twice about before, she demands they go check it out. Ena lets her drag her there. She always does. Why does she always do that?
The quaint shop is located in a section of the mall they don't frequent. It's not exactly Mizuki's style, but the clothes are nice enough to look at and the patterned fabric used is very pretty. Maybe she could buy a few shirts to cannibalize them for another project. But for what?
She glances over at Ena who's standing at the register, making a purchase. She makes her way over to her.
"There you are," she says after thanking the cashier, "Done shopping?"
"I guess so," she says, allowing Ena to lead her out of the store.
"I bought you something." she says once they reach a bench (Mizuki notes Ena's exhaustion with a slight frown).
She unveils the item: A pair of stud earrings shaped like little pink ribbons stare back at her.
"Do you like them?" she asks.
"I love them!"
Mizuki doesn't have the heart to tell Ena that her ears aren't pierced.
Later, after Ena declares herself to be adequately rested, they continue their exploration. Sitting in the middle of the corridor is a claw machine filled with plushies. Of course, Mizuki can't help but take a closer look.
"Hey, that one's pretty cute isn't it?" Ena asks, pointing into the machine.
Following her finger, Mizuki finds a brown dog plush with a perpetually angry look on it's face. It is pretty cute, she decides. It reminds her of Ena.
Then, she gets an idea. In almost every romance she's seen there's always a scene where the main character wins a stuffed animal for their love interest. Maybe she could— not to coerce Ena into falling in love with her or anything! It's normal to give your best friend a gift and Ena is a known stuffed animal lover. It's a thank you for the earrings. Yeah!
"Do you want it?" she asks pulling out a coin.
"It'd be nice to have," she admits.
That settles it for her. Mizuki inserts her coin and ever so carefully positions the claw above her target. With absolute confidence she presses the button, lowering the claw and…
…and securing nothing.
That's okay though, now she's determined to win this stuffed dog for Ena. She has the coins to spend considering her paycheck had just come in. On top of that, she still had a lot of the money from her previous one considering she hadn't been spending much money during her little isolationist slump. She inserts another coin.
This time she moves the claw only a little at a time, moving to the side of the claw machine for more accuracy. After painstakingly moving the claw into position, she presses the button. This time she'll surely…
…miss again.
Oh well, third time's the charm as they say!
Or maybe it's the fourth…
Or the fifth.
After her sixth attempt, Ena suggests they try something else. She doesn't need the plushie. Still, Mizuki has already made up her mind, so she insists on inserting another coin and trying again.
By attempt number twelve, she's lost track of how much money she's spent.
After attempt twenty-three, she stops counting.
Finally, on what must be her fiftieth try, after channeling all of her memories of watching Toya work his magic on these machines, she presses the button again, lowering the claw. She watches, absolutely confident that she'll win the stuffed dog.
It closes around the wrong plushie.
In Mizuki's hands sits a pink cat plush that she hadn't really looked twice at. Its tongue was eternally out in a blep but its eyebrows were slanted, giving it a mischievous expression.
It looks derpy.
It's a soft plush, fluffy and nice to hold, sure, but it isn't the one Ena wanted. She wonders what she did wrong. Was her aim slightly off? The cat was right next to the dog she'd been aiming for, so maybe that's what it was.
Ena cheers like she's done something right, so she hands her the stuffed cat with a smile.
She takes it before crushing her in a tight hug.
"You actually won it for me! Thank you, Mizuki."
Wait, that was actually the right plushie?!
She glances back at the dog, the plushie she'd been aiming for this entire time. Ena had wanted the derpy looking cat all along?
"It's so cute!" she says as she pulls it close.
"I guess it is pretty cute," Mizuki concedes. All's well that ends well.
…Except, after working so hard to win it, Mizuki can't quite let the stupid dog go. She's already wasted enough money on the claw machine, though, and she already won the plush that Ena wanted. She needs to let it go.
After a moment, Ena sighs. "Move aside."
She lightly pushes her aside and inserts her own coin into the machine.
"You wanted the dumb looking dog, right?"
Mizuki nods, watching dumbfounded as Ena tries and fails again and again to get the dog.
She grumbles after the twenty-third try. "These games are rigged."
"You really don't have to. It's just a stupid dog, we can leave it."
Ena glares at her. "You want it, so I'm gonna win it for you."
"But I don't really need it!"
"And if it were me you wouldn't have left it there," she counters, "I'm winning you this plushie."
She fails again.
Mizuki offers to move to the side of the claw machine and help Ena aim.
"No, shut up," she says stubbornly. "I'm winning this thing for you without your help!"
She shrugs and opts to watch as she fails again and again, getting increasingly frustrated each time. Her face scrunches up, she turns red, she grumbles and curses under her breath. The sight is adorable.
After failing attempt sixty-three, Ena kicks the claw machine in frustration.
"Stupid rigged machine!" she hisses.
Then she tries again.
Finally, on attempt sixty-four, the dog falls into the prize chute. When Ena hands it to her, Mizuki stares at the stupid angry dog. It's hers now. That's what she wanted. Even still, she feels this persistent guilt. Just how much money had Ena wasted all because she couldn't let go of a stupid children's toy? How awful was she to demand such a thing of her?
She swallows her guilt and smiles. "Thank you, Ena."
She hides her face behind the stuffed cat. "It's nothing. You did the same."
She's wrong. It's everything. It's more than Mizuki should ever want, and yet she still wants more.
As the day comes to a close, Mizuki and Ena find themselves on a bench, neither of them wanting to leave just yet. The dog plush sits heavily in her lap as she pets it absentmindedly. Beside her, Ena plays with the cat plush's arms.
"Thank you for today," she says.
"It was nothing. You don't have to thank me." Mizuki answers.
It's the truth. Ena has nothing to thank her for. She'd dragged her all over the place and made her spend money on things she really didn't need. She could've spent today catching up on sleep, but she had to spend it entertaining Mizuki instead. For what? Because she couldn't handle being lonely for a bit?
Ena reaches to intertwine their fingers. "I missed this, you know. I missed hanging out with you like this."
"I know," she says, "I missed it too."
"I never wanna lose you again. Mizuki, you mean a lot to me."
There's that confusing fond lilt to her voice, the one she doesn't know how to read.
What does that mean?
"It means exactly what it sounds like," she says. Mizuki hadn't realized she'd said that out loud.
She turns and her brown eyes are boring right into her now with the same sharpness she saw on the rooftop, the sharpness that made her stop and listen in that alleyway.
The sharpness that had saved her.
She holds her plush a little tighter. "You're so unfair you know. You're always there for me, making sure I'm okay, but you won't let me do the same for you."
"You don't have to," she answers, "I'm just being a good friend. I don't want you to feel like you have to return the favor."
"I don't" she says sharply. "I want to be there for you because I care about you, not because I feel indebted to you or whatever."
"You don't have to," Mizuki repeats. I'm not ready for you to.
Ena examines her for a moment. It feels as if her piercing brown eyes are seeing past all of her layers, all of the false cheer and aloofness, and peering straight into her heart. Mizuki suppresses a shiver at the thought.
"Then at least let me show you my appreciation."
Ena leans in, kisses her on the cheek, and then stands. "This was fun. Thanks for today."
Mizuki touches her cheek gently, mind too blank to register that Ena is gone. What was that? What does it mean?
Oh no.
Did the plushie coercion actually work? Has Mizuki tricked Ena into loving her?
She buries her head in her hands, carefully ensuring the dog plush remains secure in her lap, and stays there for a while.
She's such an awful person.