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Shane Hollander Updates @shanehollanderupdates
Shane stuns at Metros get together!
*A photo that was posted to Jackie Pike’s instagram. Shane Hollander is smiling while sitting in between Hayden Pike and JJ Dagenais, they’re both looking at Shane with half lidded eyes and smirks on their faces.*
Shane Hollander’s freckles @lestatsaidw
Uhm???? This is so gay I’m????
Maddie 💕 (Tayler’s version) @heebeehoneynee
EXCUSE ME???? WTF AM I LOOKING AT!!!
₊‧°𐐪 a 𐑂°‧₊ @pploftheperson
*Photo of the meme Piper Perry Surrounded*
June!!! @junietoojiggywithit
Are we allowed to see this…
Arnie 🍉 @justellherhowyoufeel
This actually looks like the intro to a fucking porno 💀
lily. @TURBOMAX
Genuinely what the fuck is this
Shayden4ever @buckfluffys
I mean I guess I got what I wanted but???
replying to @buckfluffys
Shayden stocks up 📈 @IrenepopsiiRight like I prayed for this but now I’m just so confused
finn @fl0wer_petals
So did Hayden just forget he was married with kids?????
JACKIE PIKE IS HAYDEN PIKE’S BEARD @jil
Shayden confirmed but I’m so fucking pissed dagenais is there.
Happy Annie @sunshinebutterflies
I need JJ to look at me like that 😩
replying to @sunshinebutterflies
JJ Dagenais’ wife @penelopeIk like god if you’re real plz let him know I’m single
J @imsofuckingacaredrightnow
Are you fucking kidding me?? What will we even call this?? We have shayden we have shayj what is this?? shayjden??????
replying to @imsofuckingscaredrightnow
April @showersbringmayflowersThis is making me realize no one’s shipped Hayden and JJ!! Why not??
replying to@showersbringmayflowers
Raiders over party @belcrovelcGirl please be serious
LET’S GO METROS!!!!!! @katseyeoverturn
What??? I just- what!!!!!!
Jamie 🍎 @metroafterparty
Wait this is actually so buzzy…
Shane Hollander’s perky nipples @betsyspiderfriend
Ohhh Shaney you’re so desired you’re turning straight men gay 😮💨
SHAYDEN OR SHAYJ @HELPMECHOOSE
Guess I’ll have to change my display name…
*Video of Ruth from Nerdy Prudes Must die saying “Oh! It’s better than I ever imagined!”*
John 🥶 @johnsmithidaho
They’re not fucking gay this is just how bros look at each other
replying to @johnsmithidaho
I stand with my cancelled coworker @westerenssetFuck kinda friends do you have? 🤨
Hollander’s omega slick @annabanana
Did we rlly expect two alphas to just ignore the sheer power of Shane’s omega pheromones
replying to @annabanana
Jenny 😁 @asinglemomwhoworks2jobsAnna?? Is this you?
replying to @asinglemomwhoworks2jobs
Hollander’s omega slick @annabananaOMG MOM WHAT ARE TOU DOINF ON TWITTER!!!!!
Carlton @user27382929
Honestly not surprised I’m heard a lot of rumors about Hollander apparently being everyone’s hallpass so maybe pikes wife is ok with it??
replying to @user27382929
S 🧚 @puppysaiOmg I’ve heard of this!! Apparently they literally call him hollpass??
replying to @puppysai
bylerpilled @luv_me1508Omg plz tell me this is real this is so fucking funny 😭😭
🐇 @thistimeimreallygonnadoit
This is genuinely so fucking shocking like the left wing and the defense are genuinely so horny for their captain
Johnny @montrealfann1
What’s with all the fucking weirdos here bro they’re not fucking gay
Emma 🌈💕 @shanehollanderslactating
In all my years in rpfing never did I expect for this to happen
Shane Hollander’s sexy glasses @dhdhdhd
DW Y’ALL I’M GETTING TO WORK WRITING THIS!!! CHECK THE SHAYJ AND SHAYDEN TAGS CUZ THIS IS COMING SOON (JUSR LIKE SHANE 😏)
Shayj is real 2 me @hot_tropic
After fighting all those racist shaydens I feel kinda vindicated but ofc #hes still ruining shit for me
Trinity my baby @pittlipinaworldtakeover
Not even a hockey fan but holy shit 😭 if I didn’t like rpf I do now
Everyone left the building but I’m still here @user1001828
Rpf gotta stop y’all
Savannah || the marauders freak @djeos1993
#shayjden STOCKS UP!!!! I’M WITH IT!!!!!
Ilya gets a notification. Yes he’s following a Shane Hollander update account (at least it’s on a secret account). How else is he going to get updates?
You think Shane tells him things?
It’s not that Shane hides stuff it’s just that he,one, doesn’t see many things as note worthy and two, is very oblivious.
Of fucking course when he opens it he sees his boyfriend getting eye fucked by the 2nd and 15th (Dagenais and Pike respectively) best players on the Metros!
He feels his eye twitch and he can’t help but comment.
Shane Hollander IS MINE @lily14101221
what the fuck is this???? why are nasty pike and ok Dagenais creeping on him?????
replying to @lily14101221
Shane Hollander IS MINE @lily14101221NASTY PERVERTS STAY AWAY FROM
HIM!!!!!
He’s sure it won’t do anything but it feels good to put into the world.
After that he opens the group chat (that Shane forced him into!) with himself, Shane, Dagenais, and that fucking degenerate Pike.
Rozanov: WHAT THE FUCK IS THIS
🤢🤮NASTY PIKE🤮🤢: I really don’t have an answer for you dude…
Rozanov: do not call me dude.
I’m not your fucking buddy.
Dagenais: there’s rlly nothing to explain 😬
🤢🤮NASTY PIKE🤮🤢: Jackie just caught us at a bad time
Rozanov: 1 do not blame sweet Jackie.
2 are you saying it is bad to like my Shane?? You think there is something wrong with him????
🤢🤮NASTY PIKE🤮🤢: Well wtf do you want us to say man
Rozanov: i want u to die
Shanebunny 🥰😚😘🤗💕🐇: Ilya!
Rozanov: sorry my lobe 😘😘😘💕💕💕💕
Shanebunny 🥰😚😘🤗💕🐇: What is this even about?
Dagenais: Shane do you just never check Twitter? I swear you always know nothing 🤣
Rozanov: watch ur fucking tone.
Shanebunny 🥰😚😘🤗💕🐇: Someone tell me what’s going on.
🤢🤮NASTY PIKE🤮🤢: Jackie took a pic of you me and JJ and posted it on her insta and the fans saw it
Shanebunny 🥰😚😘🤗💕🐇: Well that doesn’t sound bad at all?
Jackie always posts such nice pictures?
Rozanov: trust me zaychik this was NOT nice AT ALL!!!!!!!!
Shanebunny 🥰😚😘🤗💕🐇: Ok I just saw it.
Ilya what are you making a big deal for?
Hayden and JJ do that all the time?
Dagenais: bro…
🤢🤮NASTY PIKE🤮🤢: Shane please I have a wife and kids
I have so much to live for
Rozanov: lol
this is so funny
i am laughing
haha
😂
Dagenais: its so over
Shanebunny 🥰😚😘🤗💕🐇: What is??
🤢🤮NASTY PIKE🤮🤢: Our lives Shane.
Shanebunny 🥰😚😘🤗💕🐇: Oh stop being so dramatic.
It’s not like Ilya’s going to do anything to you. 🙄
Dagenais: thats what u think buddy
ill miss u capitaine 🙏💔
🤢🤮NASTY PIKE🤮🤢: Tell Jackie I was the one that ate her fancy bakery cupcake
And tell Amber to stop eating glue
Rozanov: not even joking anymore i WILL TELL HER
how dare you pike evil praying on my sweet Shaney pie and stealing from your sweet wife
you disgust me
Shanebunny 🥰😚😘🤗💕🐇: Ilya you literally stole my muffin that was also from a fancy bakery.
Rozanov: WHAT!!! BETRAYED BY OWN MY SWEET WIFE!!!!
Shanebunny 🥰😚😘🤗💕🐇: I told you to stop calling me that.
Rozanov: oh shut up i see how it makes u blush 😏
🤢🤮NASTY PIKE🤮🤢: Ok ew
Do that in a private chat guys
Dagenais: eh i dont mind
i think its sweet
Rozanov: look at p**e so nasty and homophobic and Dagenais so not homophobic
i will let u live Dagenais.
do not make me regret this.
Dagenais: AW HELL YEAH
🤢🤮NASTY PIKE🤮🤢: What the fuck??
So I still die???
Shanebunny 🥰😚😘🤗💕🐇: Ugh everyone shut up.
Ilya if this post bothers you so bad why not post your own?
And you can’t kill Hayden. 🙄
🤢🤮NASTY PIKE🤮🤢: Thank you Shane!
But how’s that gonna work?
You guys aren’t even out?
Shanebunny 🥰😚😘🤗💕🐇: Well maybe kill him a little for being so dumb.
🤢🤮NASTY PIKE🤮🤢: What the fuck!!
Shanebunny 🥰😚😘🤗💕🐇: We’ve been planning on revealing our relationship for a while but haven’t found the right way to do it.
This is the perfect opportunity.
Rozanov: 😈 yes I will kill p*kw for u bby 😈
And ZAYCHIK!!!
YOU ARE A GENIOUS!!!
I MUST GO FIND THE PERFECT PICTURE
TWITTER WONT KNOW WHAT TO DO AFTER THIS!!!!!!
Shanebunny 🥰😚😘🤗💕🐇: Hope that’s a good thing. 🙂
Ilya Rozanov 81 @officialbostonroz
You look at him but he only looks at me 😏
*A photo of Shane and Ilya. Shane’s looking at Ilya with the biggest heart eyes, he’s also got a sweet little smile on his face. Ilya’s not better though, he’s looking at Shane like he’s never seen anything more precious.*
