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"Haha, look at me, I'm Keith and I love my mullet ." Lance was balancing a pencil on his upper lip as he did an impression of Keith. His vision was starting to blur and Lance was suspecting that he had taken one too many drinks. Christmas lights lined the walls of the castle as the team settled down in the living room after a long day of training.
The evening had started off great with some actually decent food made by Hunk for dinner and light chatting. But after the drinks offered by Coran, alien and probably alcoholic, almost everyone was drunk and Lance really didn't think anyone knew what they were doing. Maybe everyone expect Shiro. It seemed like he has been sober this whole time.
"Give it!" Keith snatched the pencil from Lance and took his revenge. Keith pressed his hair down, apparently to get that Lance look, and he said, "Hi, I'm Lance and I... I... I'll stick you in a WORMHOLE!"
"Pfft, good one Keith." Lance was trying to hide his laugheter at Keith. Emphasis on trying. Lance couldn't hold his laughter and ended up going full-out, with his sides hurting from laughing.
"Lance." Shiro was side-eyeing Lance, warning Lance like he usually would. Lance's laughter died down a little after that and sighed, changing the topic.
"Coran, this drink is amazing, what did you put in this?"
"Well, I was trying to recreate what you humans call 'wine', there are alcoholic properties but I wasn't sure if the taste was the same. But I'm glad you enjoy it." Coran said matter-of-factly, proud of his creation.
"Wine, huh? I've tried some back on Earth myself." Lance mumbled softly to himself, stirring the drink. Everyone was resuming what they were doing, being obnoxious and loud mostly due to the alcohol but Lance, on the other hand, felt more aware of his surroundings, as if the high had worn off. Lance stared at his drink for a while and watched it came to a still. His mind slowly wandered and he stopped paying attention to what the rest were doing. He recalled that one time his sister had gotten so drunk during a house party that he had to drag her back. And that one other time he sneaked a glass of his mother's wine. (His mother found out and it was not a good ending for Lance)
Even still, Lance missed his old life on Earth. Sure, it was fun and totally awesome to be the saviours of the Universe. And sure, he wanted to protect his loved ones from experiencing rule under Zarkon. But sometimes Lance just wanted to go home. He wondered from time to time if he had made the right choice of joining Voltron. What if he hadn't went to find Pidge on the rooftop that night? What if he had just listen to what Hunk said and went back to the dormitories?
Lance rubbed the bridge of his nose between his finger and thumb, too tired and with a slight headache from the drink. He stood up and walked over to the nearest balcony he could find, hoping to take a breather from everything. Little did Lance know that his attempt to sneak away quietly was noticed by none other than Shiro, who was probably the only one with the right state of mind to spot Lance's movements.
Shiro saw Lance leaving without saying a word and followed behind him, half thinking maybe Lance might need a listening ear while the other half was just worried that Lance might just knocked into something and get himself unnecessarily hurt. Shiro found Lance standing on the balcony, his fingers still balancing the glass with whatever is left in it. Shiro always thought that Lance gave off the feeling of loneliness but every time Shiro tried to ask him about it, Lance would just brush it off with a simple joke or by making fun of Keith, avoiding any concern directed at him. Well, maybe today is Shiro's lucky day.
“Hey," Shiro's voice was audible and yet it had a certain gentleness to it. Lance seemed to be deep in thought and was quite jostled when Shiro called him.
"Oh, hi. I didn't think anyone else would be out here now." Lance casually remarked. Despite his usual eagerness to talk to a certain hero, Lance wasn't in the right mind now and didn't have much for conversation. Talk about bad timing.
"I'm just out here to get some fresh air in case you were wondering," He probably doesn't care about what you were doing, you idiot.
"So you can go back and join them. I'll be back with you guys soon." Good, exactly like the usual.
"I think I've had enough of celebration madness today," Lance heard a shuffling of feet and surprisingly enough, it was getting louder and nearer to him.
"I think it's better for me to just chill here with you." Lance laughed softly at Shiro's attempt to use teenage language and leaned on the balcony railing. Now that's something that had brightened up his spirit.
Shiro smiled softly at Lance's laugh. He could tell it was genuine, unlike those many other times. A comfortable silence between them ensued and all they could hear were either the random laughter of the other paladins or simply the nature below them.
"Hey Shiro," Lance voice was soft and a little hesitant. Shiro turned his head to Lance, who was still facing the scenery.
"Do you miss anyone on Earth?"
"Well, I don't have many memories of them, with Galra and all." Shiro rubbed the back of his neck. He had tried countless of times to remember anything before the galra capture but nothing came to mind.
"Oh my gosh, I'm so sorry, I... I didn't know..." Lance quickly said, straightening his back from his slouching position on the railing, almost dropping the glass in his haste.
"It's alright Lance," Shiro said with a laugh and a wave of his hand, a successful attempt in assuring Lance.
"What about you Lance? You probably have many loved ones back on Earth." Shiro decided to continue with the topic Lance brought up.
"Yeah...my family I guess. I mean I'm just a bit worried about them is all. I literally just left without much notice," Lance laughed at his words, but even an idiot could tell it was forced. God what was he even saying.
"I really like it here, don't get me wrong, but who knows how long we'll be here. A year? Two years? Maybe even a hundred. Or...forever?" Lance bit his lip and stared at the ground, afraid to look at Shiro's general direction. Shiro kept quiet but his mind was in a whirlwind, quite the opposite of his calm demeanor.
"I really owe my family a lot. My decision to join Garrison. My ambition of being a fighter pilot and my dream of exploring space. If not for their support, I probably won't even be here,"
A silent pause.
"Do you miss them?" Shiro knew how precious family can be to someone.
"Of course," was Lance's short answer.
"Do you want to go back to Earth?"
"Yeah, if I could, I'll take the first flight home." Lance's voice was strained.
"Lance," Shiro's voice was firm but Lance still hung his head low.
"Lance, look at me." Shiro grabbed Lance's shoulders and turned Lance to face him. Shiro saw the look on Lance's face and his heart shattered into a million pieces. Lance's eyes brimmed with tears and Shiro could tell Lance was near his breaking point. Lance was fighting back tears and sniffed.
"I must look like shit right now. I'm so sorry." Lance wiped away tears that threatened to fall. But as much as Lance wanted to turn around again, Shiro's grip was firm and he showed no signs of relaxing.
"Lance, I know you want to just drop everything and go back to your loved ones. But as tempting as it is, we need you here." Shiro finished his sentence with his usual strict tone but Lance could sense a little worry in it. Worried that Lance might be considering to just head back to his family, like what Pidge almost did.
Honestly, Lance did think about it a couple of times. To just collect some food supplies, pack his shit, steal a spacecraft and just go home. But Lance knew he couldn't pull that off. Maybe that's the only thing that had prevented him from trying.
“I...I get that but...I...I just miss them, ya know?" Lance glanced to his right, avoiding Shiro's gaze. Lance was annoyed at how Shiro couldn't understand how he was feeling and how he only cared about Voltron.
"What do you know." Lance muttered under his breath, knowing that Shiro might hear it but he said it anyway. Lance instantly regretted his words but he couldn't hold back anymore.
"I mean, you probably don't even have anyone you care about on Earth..."
"Lance."
Lance continued anyway.
"...and you can just live your life on this godforsaken castle..."
"Lance." Lance could tell Shiro's patience was wearing thin.
"and maybe even go be with Allura!"
"Lance!"
Silence.
Before Lance knew it, his face was cupped with Shiro's warm hands and they were meeting eye to eye.
"Lance, I know it's hard and it's a pretty shitty position to be in. None of us signed up for this but here we are. I just hope you can understand where I'm coming from, even if I can't." Shiro tried to explain but he honestly didn't had much to offer, his voice softening at the end.
Shiro's last sentence left a bitter feeling in Lance's stomach. The gravity of his words started sinking in.
"Lance, we have our responsibilities here with Voltron but we'll always have each other."
Tears streaked down Lance's face and before he could even think, he plunged forward and wrapped his arms around Shiro. Lance broke out in uncontrollable sobs as all of his feelings just poured out like an overflowing bathtub.
Shiro was obviously taken by surprise but it didn't take him long to reciprocate the hug and wrapped his arms around Lance. Lance buried his face in Shiro's neck, seeking the warmth which he needed the most at the moment.
Lance didn't know how long he'd been crying but when he regained his composure, Lance realised they were both sitting on the ground, Shiro's arms still around him. Lance sobs faded away slowly and he felt Shiro shuffle a little under him.
"You feeling better now?" Shiro said softly, looking down at Lance who hasn't made the slightest eye contact with Shiro since he'd started crying.
"Mm yeah." Lance replied with a muffled voice. Lance sat back up straight and looked into Shiro's eyes.
Lance said in the calmest voice he could manage, "I'm...I'm sorry Shiro...I...I didn't mean anything I said...I...I'm sorr-" "I
"It's ok. I know you didn't mean it. We've all got our problems and I'm glad you were comfortable enough to share them with me. And if you had all your emotions bottled up like that, I'm honoured to be the one you took it out on." Shiro ruffled Lance hair and pulled him in, back to the position before.
Slowly, Lance fell asleep in Shiro's warm arms, to the beating of his heartbeat and the gentle stroking of his hair.