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Suwa is obvious.
He puts his arms around people’s shoulders. He gets close to people without much effort. He invites transfer students who are practically strangers to hang out with his friends because he doesn’t want them to feel left out.
Suwa is kind and warm and effortlessly becomes a constant in Kakeru’s life.
Naho is subtle.
She turns down her preferred pastry because she doesn’t want to deprive those who want it as well. She downplays an injury so she doesn’t disappoint her team. She carries around a sewing kit just in case a button happens to fall off a uniform.
Naho is quiet and sweet and stronger than she thinks she is.
Kakeru finds that he loves them both dearly.
When he sees them together he thinks that it’s right. She is kind and gentle and makes Suwa’s eyes light up and his words softer. It’s obvious that Suwa is smitten with everything that Naho does, not that Kakeru can blame him. With Suwa, Naho can shine a little bit brighter. She is more comfortable and open. She laughs more, smiles more, says more. They complement each other well.
Kakeru tries his best to stay out of it. All to no avail, Suwa makes sure of that.
Naho loves him apparently. He loves Naho as well, but it won’t work. He can only hurt her how he is now. There is a grave in a cemetery nearby that can prove his point with stone cold evidence (literally). All of her friends (their friends?) support the two of them, especially Suwa. Suwa who loves Naho, has loved Naho, but can also unselfishly support her in her pursuit of another.
Kakeru tries his best to stay detached but it’s hard. It’s so hard. They pull him in whether they mean to or not. Suwa is fun and extraordinarily observant when it comes to things he cares about, and apparently Kakeru falls into that category. He cares more than anyone that Kakeru has ever met. Naho continuously pushes herself for the sake of others, for the sake of Kakeru. It’s almost as if it’s ingrained in her to pour herself into those who she loves.
It’s so easy to love them both. At their core, they are so complimentary that it’s a wonder they haven’t gotten together. They should get together, Kakeru thinks as he watches them talk and smile and be comfortable in close spaces. It’s part of the reason why he won’t go out with Naho. They just fit together. Not to mention that Kakeru isn’t necessarily anticipating being around much longer, but that’s another story that isn’t meant to be shared.
So he compromises. He doesn’t date Naho, but he no longer tries to hide how much he cares. He doesn’t tell Suwa how he feels, but he admits that Suwa is a very dear friend. Maybe even his best friend.
This series of compromises works for a time.
-
And then they save his life.
Of course they save his life
-
After he and Naho start officially dating, Kakeru finds himself watching Suwa more often than anyone with a girlfriend probably should. Suwa looks happy. Kakeru decides then that Suwa must be the most genuinely good person in the world when he can be so happy about the girl he loves dating someone else. Not that Kakeru didn’t suspect this already, but now it’s confirmed. Suwa deserves to be happy, but not like this. This bittersweet happiness isn’t meant for someone as good as Suwa.
Kakeru can see a solution, but doubt and selfishness slow his pace. While it’s obvious to everyone (well, almost everyone) that Suwa is head over heels in love with Naho, what’s less obvious is that Naho probably reciprocates the feeling. In fact Kakeru may be the only one who knows simply because he knows what to look for. Naho herself doesn’t even recognize that her feelings for Suwa are most likely romantic.
He could tell her. Give Naho the right hints for her to realize her feelings.
See, the solution is simple. The three of them could all date. It’s unconventional maybe, but the thought of being with the two people he loves is addicting.
But. There’s always a catch. Suwa loves Naho. But what about Kakeru? Sure their friends have made jokes that he and Suwa are like an old married couple, but that’s all they are. Just jokes. If he actually manages to get Naho on board and they confess to Suwa only for Kakeru to be shot down, what will happen to the three of them?
So he waits. Because he’s afraid of what Suwa will say. Because everything that finally came together could fall apart. He waits and he watches Suwa for any indication that maybe he feels the same and his dream of the three of them being together isn’t as far away as he thinks.
-
Of course Naho is smarter than that.
It takes her a grand total of three weeks to figure out her feelings for Suwa even without prompting .
She brings it up during a study date that she “still loves you”, but she loves Suwa as well. Naho who has always been so brave and honest goes on to say that it wouldn’t be fair to keep this a secret from the person she’s dating and this doesn’t mean she wants to break up and-
“Me too,” Kakeru cuts her off with a smile on his face. “I feel the same way.”
“Kakeru, you…” she sits stunned for a second before her brow knits together in confusion. “You mean you don’t want to break up? Or…”
A sigh flits out of his mouth before he can stop it. “No,” wait “Well yeah, I mean that too but not quite. What I mean is I love you and I love Suwa. Equally.”
The smiles on her face starts slow and continues until she is practically beaming.
-
She wants to tell him right away, but Kakeru insists on waiting. He tells her it is because Suwa purposefully makes sure never to be in a situation where it’s just the three of them and if either one told him now, he probably wouldn’t believe it. Although that’s true, most of it is because he only has eyes for Naho.
So you all hang out.
Which, unsurprisingly, is made difficult by Suwa and his fear of date crashing. So Kakeru and Naho get creative. Kakeru invites Suwa out to a movie and wow! What do you know! Naho is there too! Naho asks Suwa to study at a café and, of course, this happens to be a place Kakeru frequents. What a happy coincidence.
It gets easier after a few weeks. Suwa gradually becomes comfortable hanging out with just the two of them and their hangouts become less of a planned thing and more of something natural. Something warm.
Suwa makes Naho laugh while Kakeru makes her smile. Naho can soften Suwa into butter while Kakeru can let him goof around. Suwa and Naho can make Kakeru’s heart jump into his throat with nothing more than a glance. Which happens, he’s noticed. Suwa looks at him the way he looks at Naho. Just a glace, something hidden and secretive, but endlessly fond.
Kakeru realizes that he’s run out of reasons why they shouldn’t tell Suwa and frankly, he isn’t really looking for them anymore.
So they tell him.
It goes about as Kakeru expected. Naho is the one to break the news since Kakeru is so nervous he can hardly string words together. It takes a few tries and a bit of explaining for Suwa to understand that no, they don’t mean go out as in to the movies and yes, they do mean go out as in dating. Yes, we both like you Suwa. Yes, in a romantic way.
Suwa cries.
Suwa opens his arms and pulls them both in tight and says he’s happy. So so so happy. He says that he had imagined this happening but never ever thought that it actually would. He asks someone to punch him just to makes sure that he isn’t dreaming. Naho (adorable, kind Naho) giggles and lightly kisses his cheek. It makes something warm and fond grow in Kakeru’s chest. It also makes Suwa turn into a blushing puddle on the floor.
Kakeru reaches out and takes Naho’s hand in his left, and Suwa’s in his right. This, he realizes, is how it should be.
Kakeru end his days safe, alive, and in love and it’s perfect.