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Tsukasa rubbed his eye and let out a dramatic yawn. The time was 9 PM, which was Tsukasa’s usual bedtime. Some might say it’s extremely early for an eighteen year old like Tsukasa himself, however he disagreed. Tsukasa got up around 5 AM to get ready for school, which might be unpopular, but in Tsukasa’s mind was the perfect time to get started with the day. Not only did it give him many more hours during the day, but it also made the morning slow and cozy, completely free from any stress if he was to awaken an hour or so later. Now, since the recommended amount of sleep was 8 hours, 9 PM was the exact time he had to start his slumber.
Tsukasa stretched his arms above his upper body, dragging his shirt slightly up. Tsukasa made a point in always wearing articulated sets to sleep, as it somehow made it easier to drift away from consciousness. Unfortunately he had failed to meet that standard today, as he wore his yellow t-shirt without the matching shorts. Not that what he wore didn’t look good together, the pants complimented the t-shirt quite well, but they weren’t bought together.
”Good night my dear family!−☆” Tsukasa leaned over the railing and yelled, voice echoing over the house, thanks to his very exposed room. Faintly he heard Saki and his parents say good night back, and Tsukasa huffed in content and walked over to his bed. Softly he moved the thin blanket with stars splattered all over from his bed, making room for himself.
It was summer, so having a thick blanket or multiple layers would be overwhelming, so Tsukasa had settled with the thin blanket, at least until the weather turned cooler. But, sometimes the nights could be hot, and so that was why he wore the long pajama pants.
After getting comfortable under the blanket, he was all set to go to sleep. ’Goodnight,’ he mumbled out, before closing his eyes with a smile.
Tsukasa woke up. Or did he? When he opened his eyes and sat up in his bed, everything was still as dark as if he was staring at his eyelids. He was still in his room, but the atmosphere was eerie and the quiet was uncomfortable. The light he almost had on when sleeping was turned off, which was a huge red flag. Tsukasa never turned off that lamp.
”Hello?” Tsukasa said, uncharacteristically timidly. It was creepy. Really creepy. After not getting a reply, he cleared his throat and changed his tone.
”Hello?! Anyone there?” Tsukasa yelled firmly, standing up and stomping at the floor to make some sound in the still and seemingly empty house. After once again not getting a reply, he groaned and scratched his head.
”I must be dreaming. But a dream this realistic?” Tsukasa walked over to the open wall in his room and grabbed onto the railing, glancing down at the living room below. Tsukasa shivered and stared in disbelief. The living room was pitch black. He couldn’t even see the floor and furniture.
”What do I do now? Do I wait until I wake up?” Tsukasa turned away from the living room and leaned on the railing, shaking his head.
”No, I need to see what this dream is. I can’t just be dreaming about my house being dark, right?”
And like that, Tsukasa slowly walked towards the stairs.
It was only then that he realised that he wasn’t alone. Because turned away from him stood his mother, at the top of the staircase.
”Mom?” Tsukasa stopped in his tracks upon seeing her, unsure what to do. Do you approach people in a nightmare, when you don’t know their motives? He didn’t have the answer, but he decided to move closer, since it was his own mother!
Tsukasa was right behind her, and something new occured. Sound filled his ears. An unpleasant and horrific sound.
”Mom? Why are you crying?” Tsukasa tried to walk around her, so he could look at her face and comfort her, but he soon realised that it was as if someone had glued his feet stuck to the floor. He couldn’t move his legs and was frozen behind her.
”What the-” Tsukasa began, but he was interrupted by his mom, who suddenly turned around at lightning speed. She had a twisted expression, one filled with horror and sadness.
”What have you done?” The crying came to a stop as she spoke. The first thing Tsukasa noticed was how her voice didn’t match her face. It was monotone and almost mocking.
”What do you mean?” Tsukasa blinked in confusion, avoiding his mother’s face. She laughed roughly. It sounded wrong, so wrong.
”Take responsibility,” she moved to the right, no longer hiding Tsukasa’s view from what was at the bottom of the stairs.
”..—?” Tsukasa felt like throwing up. He wanted to cover his mouth, close his eyes, look away, do anything but stare down at what was once covered by his mom. Tsukasa wished he could rewind time, only a few seconds, before he made the decision to walk up to his mom.
A few metres down, sprawled out on the floor was his dad and Saki. Their limbs were bent in unnatural ways and blood was slowly spreading into a larger and larger puddle.
”Haah…” Tsukasa’s arms were shaking, and if he wasn’t stuck, he would’ve probably collapsed to the ground. Tsukasa’s breath was ragged and quick and he could feel his heart in his throat.
”Why won’t you take responsibility?” Tsukasa's mom repeated those cursed words as she walked back to her original position, in front of Tsukasa.
”I- I didn’t do that! I didn’t… I wouldn’t…” Tsukasa cried as he stared into his mother’s uncanny, black pupils. They reminded him of the dark living room. The dark made it impossible to see anything except the uncomfortable black.
Take responsibility.
Tsukasa heard his mom repeat those words over and over, and he used all his strength to shut his eyes shut. He didn’t want to be in this dream anymore. It was too much.
”I’m sorry- is this because I thought of killing you when I acted as William? Because if that’s so, I truly, didn’t mean it, I love you! I would never!”
Tsukasa felt something tugging his arms upwards. He snapped his eyes open and saw his arms slowly moving closer and closer to his mother, until his hands were positioned in front of her stomach.
”Are you sure?”
Tsukasa screamed as he pushed his mother down. He felt like a puppet on a string, controlled by a puppeteer that in this case was the unknown force. He was like a ghost watching his body do things his mind didn’t agree on doing.
The world went silent after a loud crack, and despite not even being near the bodies, he noticed how his hands and clothes were stained with blood.
Tsukasa looked down, and no longer saw two deformed corpses. He saw three.
Take responsibility.
"Ah-!" Tsukasa pulled his body upwards when he took an ugly breath in. He grabbed onto his hair and started reluctantly pulling at his hair strands in an attempt to calm down. After taking multiple breaths in and out in an unharmonised pattern, he opened his eyes. Tsukasa felt like he could cry when he saw his lamp emitting a warm and gentle glow, brightening up the room that had been so scary in the nightmare.
Tsukasa sighed and pushed himself to the edge of the bed, head in hands.
”Right, a nightmare. Just a nightmare.” Tsukasa stared at his feet dangling from the bed.
Tsukasa took a deep breath.
A nightmare.
It wasn’t real.
After calming down, Tsukasa became very self aware of how sweaty he was, both from the nightmare but also because of the overbearing heat. Not to mention the thirst in his dry throat after screaming. Tsukasa felt grossed out by himself and made the decision to go take a trip to the bathroom, and maybe his parents and Saki’s room too.
That idea was quickly shut down, when out of nowhere, he heard a familiar sound coming from his right side, right next to, no, almost inside his ear!
Tsukasa had to squeeze his lips shut as he waved his hands and shook his head to get the insect to leave him alone.
”Not now! I can’t deal with anything else! Leave me be!” He cried in annoyance. He didn’t know if it was a fly, mosquito or something else, but that didn’t really matter. An insect was an insect.
Tsukasa was safe for about five seconds, when he heard the same sound right in front of him, close to his nose. Tsukasa jumped back and landed on his back on the bed, almost as if he was ready to sleep, which he wasn’t in any way or form.
”Stop, stop, stop, STOP, get away!” He whispered as loud as he could. He quickly realised how stupid it was since the insect couldn’t understand him. Tsukasa twisted and turned and finally the sound died down.
Until it came back from his left ear.
”STOP!” Tsukasa screamed and rolled over to his side, terrified. He had never had an insect disrupt his sleep before, and he sure hoped this was the first and last time. Because what could he do? No way in hell that he would touch and kill it, but he couldn’t sleep this way. Plus, he STILL hadn’t gone to the bathroom!
The sound disappeared and Tsukasa held his breath. ’Please don’t come back—”
bzzzzz
Left ear, again. Tsukasa cried out in despair. ’Maybe if I ignore you, you’ll leave on your own,’ he shut his eyes tightly and took slow and careful breaths.
The insect didn’t leave.
One thing did change though. Now, he felt a weird, scratchy sensation on his earlobe.
Tsukasa waved away the insect, gripped hard onto his blanket and pulled it over his entire body, curling up under it.
’HAHA! Outsmarted you! Now you can’t reach me,’ Tsukasa huffed proudly, until he discovered his next problem. The insect wouldn’t leave, and again, he hadn’t gone and showered yet. Also, the blanket didn’t really make him cooler, quite the opposite, he was now warmer than ever and could feel sweat forming.
’I’m such an idiot.’
And so Tsukasa had a dilemma. Leave the safety of the blanket, confront the insect and go to the bathroom and maybe Saki’s and his parents bedroom, or stay where he was and die either from thirst or a heatstroke.
Tsukasa was a coward.
Tsukasa wasn’t sure of how much time had passed, but he sure had managed to think about everything there was to think about. His day, his night, the day ahead that he was really not looking forward to due to the lack of sleep, all his friends, his family, his future, his past, his nightmare, everything. And during the whole time, the insect had continued flying around him. Tsukasa had to give it to the insect, it sure was determined to cause hell to him.
After what felt like 2 hours of staying under the blanket and dying from the heat torture, Tsukasa remembered something. He forgot to turn on his alarm at 5:15 AM!
”Wow. Good job Tsukasa,” he muttered. His phone was not far away. Probably on the ground right next to the bed. If he rolled to the side, and searched with his hand he could find it and check what time it was AND turn on the timer.
’You can do this, Tsukasa. It’s an insect against you, nothing a star can’t handle! If Rui was here,’ Tsukasa cringed.
’If Rui was here he would probably think of it all as very amusing. I mean seriously am I five? Hiding from an insect!’ Tsukasa narrowed his eyes.
’No, you know what? My concerns are very much real. This insect made my earlobe get some sort of weird bite. And it really hurts. That insect is dangerous!’
And with that, Tsukasa started his mission. He rolled over to the side smoothly and took his arm out of the blanket. He moved it blindly along the floor when he suddenly felt a rectangle-shaped object.
”Gotcha!” He said as he pulled the phone up and covered himself with the blanket once again. He clicked the button to turn on the phone’s lockscreen and—
It was utterly laughable. The time displayed was exactly 5:15 AM. Tsukasa was dumbfounded and in shock. He had been trying to sleep for 7 hours. 7 hours. The nightmare took maybe an hour, so that left…
”6 hours with this insect,” he muttered in disbelief. Tsukasa groaned and hit himself softly in the head.
”Unbelievable.”
After checking that the coast was clear, he practically sprinted to the nearest bathroom and locked the door. He took a thorough cold shower and got dressed in his school clothes that were luckily still in the bathroom from the night before. He didn’t know why, but it was extremely convenient.
Tsukasa stood in front of the bathroom mirror and stared at his horrendous reflection. Tsukasa was someone who never ever got a bad night of sleep. So when he did get a bad sleep, like that day, he looked so disheveled and tired that he resembled a zombie. He had deep eyebags, tired, half-open eyes and his hair was all over the place. He had tried combing it in place after showering but it somehow hadn’t helped a lot.
Tsukasa was out of it the entire morning, and if you would’ve asked him to recall it, he probably wouldn’t be able to. He remembered eating toast for breakfast, but was half asleep the whole time and had forgotten what he put on it. After eating, he went to the living room. There, everything turned black as his eyelids dropped.
”..chan…”
”Onii-chan!” Tsukasa startled when he felt someone shake his shoulders back and forth. That someone was none other than Saki.
”Saki…? You’re alive…” He muttered, still not processing the situation.
”Alive?! What are you going on about! You’ve been sleeping for 30 minutes! You need to go to school now, if you don’t want to be late!” That made Tsukasa come back to reality.
”Huh?! SAKI! THANK YOU FOR AWAKENING ME FROM MY SLUMBER! YOU HAVE SAVED MY MORNING!” Saki giggled in response.
“I was thinki-“
“GOODBYE SAKI!”
“Wait—!”
Tsukasa had already run out the front door, bag in one hand, hairbrush in the other. Saki was left standing in the living room, staring blankly at the place that Tsukasa had just been sleeping at.
“Ah..”
Tsukasa was practically dragging his legs after himself. He had forgotten to drink coffee, so he was running on the 30 minutes of sleep from the morning, a nightmare-filled sleep and one toast. Which wasn’t exactly ideal.
The school was bustling with life, and usually Tsukasa loved the energetic school and the sound of people talking, keyschains rustling and the footsteps of all the students. But right now he would have preferred his bed.
As he walked through the front door, he was overwhelmed by even more noise, like lockers being thrown shut. He rubbed his head before doing his usual greeting. He couldn’t fall out of routine. A little lack of sleep was nothing a star couldn’t handle!
”HAHAHA! GOOD MORNING EVERYONE!” Tsukasa coughed a few times, throat still sore from all the screaming during and after the nightmare, and also, due to not really feeling like doing his morning greeting.
’I’m really not myself, huh? I have to remember to NEVER not get sleep again,’ he thought as he wandered through the hallway, grinning and waving to everyone he passed, until he reached his own locker.
Tsukasa took a hold of his lock and started fumbling with the key, struggling to put it through the keyhole.
”Tsukasa-senpai, good morning,” Tsukasa turned around to see Toya, with a small smile on his lips, next to Akito who did not seem excited at all to see Tsukasa.
”Good morning, you too!” Tsukasa smiled, but it didn’t quite reach his eyes.
”What’s up with you?” Akito asked, with an uninterested look in his eyes. Tsukasa shook his hands in front of his body.
”Nothing! I just didn’t sleep very well!” He smiled sheepishly.
”Wait, you didn’t sleep well? What happened? You always sleep 8 or more hours!” Toya gasp.
”Haha… long story—” Tsukasa almost sighed out of relief when he heard the bell for his class. ’Saved by the bell…’ the thought.
”Ah, got to go, see you around!” He waved in an animated way.
Class was even harder to get through. Not only was his body screaming at him to lay down at the desk and sleep, but the teacher’s words were blurred and hazy. If that wasn’t enough he had the one and only Kamishiro Rui in front, who was in a particularly good mood. The purple-haired kept trying to make small conversation, and Tsukasa had to deflect all of it or just give him a quick nod. It was hard to give any concrete answer to his best friend when he didn’t even hear what he was saying.
”…enma.”
Tsukasa jolted up and straightened his back, hearing his teacher call his name.
”Y-yes?” He replied. Tsukasa noticed how everyone seemed to be having their eyes on him. ’Did I do something?’ he thought, glancing around the room, before his eyes landed on the teacher’s gaze again.
”I asked you the answer to this question.” The teacher said solemnly, while simultaneously pointing at the board behind him. Tsukasa narrowed his eyes and tried focusing on the words, but the moment his vision cleared, it blurred again.
”I uh…. I…” Tsukasa cleared his throat nervously. In defeat, he slumped his shoulders.
”I don’t know, my apologies.”
The teacher must have given him a lecture about how he had to pay attention in class, but he really couldn’t care less. That was a worry for another day.
During the next half of the lesson, he continued hearing Rui attempting to speak to him and Tsukasa really tried focusing on his words, but it was unbelievably difficult. Tsukasa himself was in shock at his own exhaustion. He hadn’t felt such immense tiredness before and it was unwelcomed. It sucked.
After the bell rang, Tsukasa felt someone tap his shoulder. He turned around and faced Rui.
”Hi Rui! Sorry for not really responding during class, I was a little… out of it,” Tsukasa smiled stiffly and scratched his chin. Rui raised his eyebrows.
”A little?” Tsukasa pouted at Rui’s remark.
”Yes! A little!” He crossed his arms and yawned. When he opened his eyes again Rui had a much more intense expression.
”Seriously though, are you okay? I don’t think I’ve ever seen you like this,” he waved his hand around Tsukasa’s face.
”—at least in school,” Rui furrowed his brows in worry. Tsukasa sighed.
”Rough night,” he muttered, breaking eye contact with Rui.
”How about ...we go and chill on the rooftop?” Rui had his signature Cheshire smile on his lips, but his eyes were soft.
”Do you seriously think I would willingly do something so low like skipping class.”
”I never said that we would do that~”
”You implied it.”
The rooftop was a nice change for the loud corridors in the school. It was warm, but a chilly breeze swept over the roof every couple of seconds, and it balanced the heat. The sky was bright blue with only a couple clouds enveloping it. The sun was high up and left a nice shine over the green roof. Somewhere Tsukasa could hear a few birds chirping, but other than that, it was quiet. A nice kind of quiet.
Excluding Rui and Tsukasa, the place was empty. It was only them and the sound of birds and the metal mesh rustling when the wind hit it a little too roughly.
”Come on, let’s sit there,” Rui pointed to the right, and Tsukasa complied and followed right after the latter. Rui sat down and Tsukasa took his seat next to him. No one said anything for the first seconds, both waiting for the other to start. Until, Rui started talking.
”Do you want to talk about your night and why it was so horrible?” Rui titled his head and chuckled when Tsukasa held his head in his hands.
”It’s probably better if I do,” he muttered. When he started speaking, he couldn’t stop. Everything just blurted out. A newfound energy had swept over him as he started moving his arms around while telling his story.
”Okay, so it all started like usual! I got to bed at 9 PM sharp, was fully prepared and all, and fell asleep.” Rui nodded in acknowledgment.
”And…?” Tsukasa bit his lip, while searching for the words. How do you tell your best friend that you had a dream about murdering your entire family?
”I had a uh… nightmare.”
Rui looked at Tsukasa curiously, but his eyes were narrowed. He waited patiently for Tsukasa to continue, and that only made everything worse. Tsukasa didn’t want to continue. He wanted to forget and move on.
”Do you want to share what it was about?” Rui wondered gently. Tsukasa gave Rui a hesitant nod.
”I woke up in my room, but like, it wasn’t my room. It was too dark and the lamp I always have on was turned off.”
”You usually sleep with the lights on?”
”That’s besides the point! Anyway, I was kind of freaked out because it was really quiet in a creepy and uncanny way and I haven’t had a nightmare in forever. I walked over to the railing to see if anyone was home but when I yelled I got no answer. Not only that but when I looked down the living room was pitch black. Like you couldn’t see the floor at all.”
”That does sound scary.” Rui hums in agreement.
”It was! That’s not even the worst part about the dream though. Afterwards I walked over to the stairs so I could go down and actually check the living room. And uhm…” Tsukasa’s voice faltered. Rui glanced at Tsukasa when he took a deep breath.
”My mom was standing there. Crying. With her back turned to me.” Rui shifted closer to Tsukasa.
”Crying?”
”Yes.. and I was frozen in place. Literally. Something made me unable to move any of my limbs and I was stuck at the edge of the staircase.” Tsukasa fidgeted with his hands and turned to Rui.
”Hey, Rui?”
”Hm?” Rui’s eyes met Tsukasa’s.
”You promise not to tell anyone else this, right?” Rui seemed to have been taken aback by that statement.
”Of course not. Why would I do that?”
”Okay. Thank you. And it’s just… well you’ll see.” Rui gave Tsukasa another nod.
”So then she turns around, and faces me. And she says ’what have you done?’. I’m… I’m obviously confused and I ask her what she means.”
Tsukasa swallows.
”She moves away from my view and I see exactly what she meant.” Rui was leaning in, extremely interested in Tsukasa’s dream.
”I… Saki and dad laid on the floor. Dead. I don’t want to think about how they looked but it was so scary!” Tsukasa shivered and held his arms around his body, curling up. He wasn’t going to cry, but he very well could, thinking back to the horrible corpses of his loved ones.
”It looked so, so realistic. I was so horrified and I wanted to look away or puke or do anything but stare, but since I was stuck I couldn’t do any of that.”
Tsukasa didn’t dare to meet Rui’s face. He wondered what Rui was thinking. He was awfully quiet.
”She kept blaming me as if I pushed them. I tried to explain or apologise, do something, but she wouldn’t listen. And then she stepped back into her original position, in front of me.” Tsukasa's hands were shaking, just like they did in the nightmare.
”Something pulled my arms up. And… and… I pushed her down!”
Tsukasa saw a calloused hand, slightly covered by a cyan cardigan on his. When he looked up, he recognised it as Rui’s. Rui had a grim and hardened expression, but his eyes were filled to the brim with concern.
”You pushed her?”
”Kind of… or well yeah, but I wasn’t in control of my body. And then I… saw them all on the ground. Below me in a puddle of blood. It was so disgusting, so horrible!” Tsukasa muttered, leaning into Rui’s calming presence and touch.
”And then I woke up.”
Rui stared at him for a couple of seconds while brushing his thumb over Tsukasa’s hands. It was soothing and made Tsukasa feel more at ease.
”I understand why you had such a difficult night. That dream sounds… really dreadful,” he said. the way Rui said it made Tsukasa feel like Rui was hiding something. He decided not to pry further.
”That wasn’t all,” Rui’s head perked up and that curious look had returned once more. Tsukasa scratched his head.
”So I woke up and I was, of course, deeply frightened. I was sweating from both the heat and the dream. I also had a sore throat and headache after screaming, and in desperate need of water. But alas, my wishes were not met as I was cursed by an insect.”
”…an insect?” Rui snorted. Tsukasa rolled his eyes.
”Yes, an insect. Out of nowhere I hear a buzzing sound from my left. And not just hearing from a distance, no no, it was coming from right outside the opening of my ear! I was horrified and quickly shooed away the insect, but then it returned over and over from every single possible angle! I didn’t know what to do—” Tsukasa explained, before turning to look at Rui who was on the verge of bursting out laughing.
“It’s not funny!”
“Sure, let’s say that,” Rui giggled. Tsukasa punched Rui with a pout.
“Alright, Rui, I'm allowing you to laugh.”
“Anyway, that insect was really dangerous because look-“ Tsukasa showed Rui his ear that had a bite on the earlobe and was clearly red and seemed to hurt.
“It bit me!”
“Ouch,” Rui grimaced.
“A mosquito.”
“I knew it, that explains why it’s so scratchy!”
“Yup.”
“Okay back to my night, the only solution I found to the problem was to hide under my blanket. It did solve the insect issue but now I had new problems. Like not being able to go to the bathroom now. I was completely stuck in my room!” Rui laughed.
“Don’t tell me you stayed there the whole night.”
“…”
“…That’s very amusing.”
“I knew you would say that. Yes, I decided to stay under the safety of my cover for many hours and I can tell you that it was not fun! It was true torture, I was practically dying from both the heat and fear!” Tsukasa shook his head in despair.
“I can only imagine, it does sound like something straight from a comedy movie,” Rui chuckled.
“More like from a horror movie! So after hours I decided to check my phone because I remembered that I forgot to set my alarm for 5:15 AM. And after a very complicated mission to find my phone I look at the time and guess, GUESS WHAT IT SHOWED ME.” Rui puts a hand on his chin and ponders.
“You overslept?” He settles on, which Tsukasa answers by intensively shaking his head.
“No! It was at exactly 5:15 AM! EXACTLY! Isn’t that insane?” Rui gasped.
“I’m shocked. That was truly something from a comedy movie. We could make that into a sh-“
“You are not to get ideas from my horror stories, okay?! I would never want to live through that again, never!”
The two continued chatting for a while and both had completely lost track of time. Or more precisely, Tsukasa had lost track of time. Rui was well aware the whole time.
“So-“ Tsukasa interrupted himself by yawning, feeling the exhaustion taking over once again. Rui smiled.
“Right, you haven’t slept at all, huh?” Tsukasa hummed in response and to Rui’s surprise he felt the latter leaning more and more into him.
“I’m so tired…” Tsukasa whispered.
“…do you want to lay your head on my lap?” Tsukasa’s eyes flew wide open and a blush crept over his face.
“Your lap?!” Tsukasa blushed as he questioned Rui. Tsukasa didn’t have time to answer, as Rui had already started guiding his body down into a laying position, with Tsukasa head on Rui’s leg. Tsukasa blushed intensely as he looked up at Rui, who was grinning while taking off his cardigan.
“What are you doing?” Tsukasa wondered. Rui chuckled fondly.
“Thought you’d want a little blanket, makes it seem more like a bed, right?” Rui draped the cardigan over Tsukasa’s body, and Tsukasa couldn’t deny that it was really, really comfortable. His heart felt all fuzzy and when he stared at Rui. His breath hitched when Rui’s fingers started petting his hair softly.
Tsukasa felt his eyelids getting heavier and heavier. The wind breeze.. the comforting touch from Rui… the bird’s chirping…
Not long after, Tsukasa fell asleep and started snoring dramatically.
————-
Rui stared at Tsukasa’s adorable snoring face. The way his eyelashes fluttered every now and then, and how his cheeks were still flushed a pink shade. His cheeks looked so unbelievably soft and Rui had to resist the urge to touch them too.
But then, Rui sighed, thinking back to the dream Tsukasa had talked about. His dorky expression that showed his adoration to Tsukasa was replaced with something much more serious.
‘The dream… it must have been a consequence of the acting Tsukasa-kun did during our latest show.’ Rui clicked his tongue aggressively.
‘Sakaki, and his technique. He is an astonishingly great director, but his ways of making the actors act are so… questionable.’
Rui shivered, thinking back to how empty and awful Tsukasa had looked, both before and during the show. It was horrible, watching Tsukasa in that destructive state, unable to do anything to stop him.
‘I don’t want Tsukasa-kun to have to go to such lengths for his acting. He shouldn’t have to. There are healthier ways to act and method acting can be so dangerous. I… I want to help him. But how?’ Rui ran a hand through his hair and groaned.
‘Besides.. he was an immaculate actor as William. Better than ever before. If I help him… will not only push him further back? But again, should he really be pushing himself to his absolute limits for a role? And should a director encourage it?’
“I’ll figure it out. I always do.”
Rui looked down at Tsukasa’s peaceful face. He wished that he had a machine that could stop time, so he could remain in this moment forever.
“Right now, I just want to be with him.”