Work Text:
„Okay so maybe we should do another shot of this one“, Dan said and pointed on the empty glass in front of him. He was sitting at a bar in some club, with his friend Tyler. Tyler was just visiting England and they thought it’d be a great idea to go out clubbing.
Well, at least Tyler thought it would be fun. Dan wasn’t every fond of the plan but went with him anyways.
Now it was only ten thirty and the two of them where sitting there after two shots and didn’t knew where their other friends went. After Tyler came up with his awesome idea they called Joe as well as Caspar and Louise. They tried to convince Phil too but he had to attend a family gathering and hasn’t been home since lunch. So it was just the five of them and Louise’s boyfriend.
Dan thought it would be fun just hanging out a little bit, drinking one or two glasses and then go home at ten o’clock so he could procrastinate about making a new video.
Well, that was before they decided to take shots and leave Dan and Tyler alone to go dancing. Tyler’d probably attended the dance party as well, but he knew Dan and stayed back with him.
“Yeah we totally should”, he answered and waved at the barkeeper. “Four more of those shots please.”
“Tyler”, Dan sighed and leaned his head onto his hand. They had been drinking before they went to the club and now the shots. This all would kick in sometime soon. And that wasn’t very good because he knew how Tyler handled alcohol and how he did. Both of them weren’t very good drunks.
While Tyler would get even gigglier than he already was, he also tried to convince everybody to dance and blushed all the time. Dan would also giggle a lot more than usual and be bright red while drinking even more.
“It will be alright”, Tyler said and winked at Dan. “Look at them. Being young must be so exciting.”
He looked over to the crowded dance floor where the others were dancing wild to a song from the charts.
Dan rolled his eyes. “You’re not that old, Tyler. And by the way, Louise is older than you.”
“I know queen. But they’re so enthusiastic. Loving life. It sucks” he laughed and poked Dan with his finger.
“Who are you? Have you inhaled my soul and personality or something?” The younger man was grinning at this friend. Normally he would say stuff like that and Tyler would disagree with him.
“I just wanted to feel like the famous Dan Howell, okay”, Tyler explained and pouted a little bit while smiling sheeply. At that moment the barkeeper came with their order and put the four little glasses in front of them. Tyler gave him the said money and turned back to Dan. He put two of them in front of Dan and the other two in his hands. “Come on, Danny-Boy. I know you want it.”
Dan sighed and took the glasses. “I hate you.”
“Love you too, bae.”
They clinked their glasses and downed the first one. The second followed immediately.
Tyler grimaced when the liquor ran down his throat. “I love it but I also hate it.”
“Same”, Dan managed to say and put down the shot glasses. He was so gonna regret this tomorrow. He knew it now.
“So,” Tyler said and raised his eyebrows. “How are thing between you and Phil? Any progress?”
Dan coughed because of the unexpected question. Tyler could be so direct sometimes.
“Well we’re still best friends like we were the whole time”, Dan said and smiled sadly.
Tyler was one of the few people who knew his true feelings for his best friend. He told him once when he was nearly freaking out because Phil and he didn’t talk for some days. At first Tyler just looked at him surprised, then he smiled. He knew that Dan’s feeling for Phil weren’t just the one you had for your best friend.
Dan was madly in love with Phil Lester. And he had been since he first saw him in 2006 on Youtube.
“So you didn’t confess like you told me you would”, Tyler concluded and nodded slightly to himself. “If you keep it up like this, he’ll never know.”
“I think it’s the best if he doesn’t know”, Dan mumbled quietly and looked down. “I don’t want to ruin our friendship. That’s more important to me than anything.”
“I know”, Tyler sighed and grimaced. “We need to come up with a plan.”
“Tyler…”
“I want you to be happy”, was everything he replied and raised his eyebrows. “So don’t tell me to stop.”
“I…. I just think that it’s not the right time to discuss things like that alright?” Dan told him and bit on his lip. The right time is never.
“Okay, accepted. But we’ll talk about this tomorrow!” Tyler proclaimed and laughed. “So for now let’s have some fun!”
With this words, he lifted himself up and dragged Dan with him.
***
Nearly two hours later, Dan was pressed against sweating bodies trying to move his body to the sound of the music. Louise hold his hand and was spinning the whole time while laughing happily. Dan also smiled. His face was completely red and his brown hair curled a little bit because of his sweating.
The alcohol he consumed made him lose almost his mind. He was dancing with the others for almost one hour now, after he and Tyler consumed some more “lighter” drinks. It was actually quiet fun and he enjoyed himself. Even though it was crowded and loud and everything Dan normally hated. He didn’t know why exactly he decided that today would be the day where he got wasted with his friends but maybe all his feelings, he tried so hard to supress were slowly breaking their way through.
He was desperate because of his love to Phil and the stress with Youtube was killing him.
Louise was giggling and spinned again then let go of his hand to go to her boyfriend. For one second he didn’t knew what he was supposed to do, when Tyler grabbed his hand again.
“You know, tomorrow we’ll have such a bad headache”, he chirped and dance with the Brite.
Dan smirked. “Don’t remind me Tyler. I’m not up to bad mood. Alright? I just want to forget for at least some hours.”
“Alright, sweetheart, whatever you want”, Tyler giggled and hold his arm up so Dan had to do a spin. It looked kind of weird because Dan was so much taller than Tyler but they didn’t care.
Everything that matters was that Dan was happy and carefree. Not thinking about his black-haired best friend with the bright eyes and the most amazing smile.
It was weird. Sometimes it nearly killed him, living with Phil but not in that kind of way and on other days he was so happy to have a best friend like him. Dan once told him, that he was in love with him. It was just their beginning of friendship so Phil didn’t think Dan was serious. Since that day Dan sometimes tried to give him hints, made unnecessary body contact or just complimented Phil in ways no best friend would. But somehow he didn’t have a clue about his true feelings. Which was fine. Dan thought. Like he told Tyler, he didn’t want to ruin their friendship.
“Guys, I think we should go now.” Louise reached them half an hour later. Her hand was wrapped around her boyfriends and she already wore her coat. “At least we’re going now. Our cab is here.”
“’right”, said Tyler grinning and moved to the beat. “Should we go too, Dan?”
Dan looked at him and raised his eyebrows. “I don’t really care.”
“Well we’ll stay just a little longer”, Tyler decided and smiled at the pair.
“Okay. Make sure you get home safely.” Louise waved and together with her boyfriend they managed to push through the crowd.
“Are you okay?” The giggle boy asked Dan after they left and looked at him not quite sure if everything was alright. “We can go if you like.”
“Nah it’s fine”, Dan told him and kept dancing. “Do you want something to drink?”
Tyler just sighed. Both of them were already quite drunk and didn’t care that they shouldn’t drink anymore. But after Dan asked him sooo nicely, he couldn’t just say no.
“Let’s get boosted.”
***
After some more dancing and three more drinks, Dan and Tyler somehow managed to get a cab to Dan’s apartment. Both were totally drunk and giggled the whole time, had red faces and were leaning on each other so they won’t fall down.
Everything seemed funny in their eyes and they couldn’t stop laughing when Dan managed to unlock the door (after a docent tries).
“Okay okay, you…” Dan was interrupted by Tyler’s hysteric laugher and laughed too. “you can sleep in our guest room.”
“Can’t I sleep in yours instead? And you sleep in Phil’s?” suggested the American and wiggled with his eyebrows.
Dan sighed heavily and overdramatic. “I wish I could. But Phil probably wouldn’t be happy about it.”
“Tryyyyyy iiiiiit”, Tyler sang and put his hand on his heart. “You guys should totally be together! You’re like my… real life OTP.”
Now, that convinced Dan. Normally he would just laugh it off and then bring Tyler to the guest room but today his drunk brain was switched off and his heart was in charge to make decisions.
“Fuck you are right”, Dan told him now enthusiastically. “I should totally try it!”
“Now, that’s my boy”, Tyler said and patted his shoulder. “Honey, I will totally cheer for you. Hashtag Phan is real.”
“Oh shut uuuup”, Dan laughed. His brown eyes sparkled full of mischief and determination. “Okay you can sleep in my room. If it doesn’t work I’ll kill you, Oakley.”
“You can always have the fabulous me as your boyfriend, Howell”, Tyler winked and started to walk upstairs to Dan’s room. Dan just followed him, completely focused on his plan. A brilliant plan, his heart told him. He wouldn’t regret it for now. But if it didn’t work out he’ll probably be homeless the morning after.
Fuck it.
While Tyler entered Dan’s room with a “Sleep well and use protection” Dan went to room of his best friend.
It was quiet and you could only hear Phil’s steadily breathing. Dan took a deep breath. He was really gonna do this.
Slowly he came closer to Phil’s bed. Phil was asleep, wrapped in his colourful blanket. He looked like an angel. In the split of a second Dan felt so many emotions like he usually did, when he was with Phil. Since the day, they met in person, he was completely head over heels for the older one.
“Phil”, Dan said in a quiet loving voice, standing beside the bed. He wasn’t sure what he was supposed to do but somehow his brain thought his would be the best idea. “You have no idea how much I love you.”
Of course there was no reaction to his confession. The black-haired man was asleep and Dan mumbled it more to hisself than to him.
“I feel in love with you quite a while ago”, he continued softly and sat on his bed. “I always admired you and then one day you said you want to meet me and I was so happy. I was – no I am so happy to be your best friend. I mean sometimes I just want to kiss you or cuddle with you but seeing you everyday is more than I could wish for.”
Dan sighed looking at the wall. “Gosh, I’m so in love with you. Your personality and your looks and just you Phil. You’re my dream man and I don’t think I can ever love someone as much as I love you.”
“This is so weird. I mean, I am a little bit drunk”, Dan laughed quietly. He was intoxicated but he knew that his was a lie. “But I wanted to tell you, even though you’ll never remember this anyway because you sleep.”
Dan sighed again and smiled slightly. “I’ll never get the courage to say this again, because I don’t want to ruin our friendship but-“
He stood up and took some steps to stand in the middle of the room. “- I love you so much, Phil Lester.”
Dan turned around and was about to exit the room, when he heard the almost soundless cough.
“I feel the same way.” The bedsheets rustled and suddenly Phil sat in his bed wide awake. Dan almost jumped and his heart missed a beat.
“Phil?” Dan’s head flew around to look at the black-haired angel, sitting in the bed. “What?”
“I heard everything you said”, Phil told him. His hair was messy and he looked down to his folded hands. He was slightly blushing. “I’m a light sleeper, you know.”
The younger man just stared at him, didn’t know what to say. This was just so…
“Awkward.”
“I know”, Phil smiled and looked up. Straight into his eyes. Brown meeting blue. “But I meant what I said as well. I feel the same.”
“But…”, Dan fiddled with his hands. “Why didn’t you tell me?”
“Why didn’t you tell me either?” countered Phil smiling sweetly. “I was afraid that this might break our friendship. I don’t want to loose you, Dan.”
Dan’s eyes slowly filled with tears. He was smiling at the other man, making his way towards the bed. “I feel so dumb.”
“You shouldn’t”, Phil told him and hold his hand out to reach Dan’s. The soft contact made Dan’s heart jump again. “We’re both idiots.”
“You might be right”, he smiled and pressed the hand he was holding. He wanted to hold Phil’s hand for so long, and now it was happening. The feeling of being drunk was pushed away. Dan would never feel think kind of happiness with any alcohol in the world. Phil was his very own drug.
“Come here”, the older said and grabbed his hand tighter, so he had to go down a little bit. “I… I want to hold you, Dan.”
Now, Phil’s face was bright red.
Dan’s heart skipped a beat again. He was also blushing but his lips curved into a loving smile. “Yeah, I’d like that too.”
Slowly, a little bit unsure about what was happening, he sat down on the side. Phil pulled him so he was lying next to him. In one firm move the older man wrapped the blanket around Dan as well and tugged him closer to his body.
Dan was pressed against Phil’s side. His face bright red and his eyes big. Nervously he wrapped his arm around the others body and hugged him.
It was quiet for a few minutes. Both listening to their own and the others fast heartbeat and breathing.
“I love you, too”, Phil said softly and Dan felt a light touch on his lips. It took him seconds to realise that Phil kissed him.
It was sweet and sent electricity through Dan’s whole body. As gentle as he could he kissed him back. His best friend. No his… lover?
He was so happy, he smiled into the kiss. The kiss was thousand times better then any liquor he had drank this evening. Ever drunk in his life. He was intoxicated by Phil. The sweet taste of his soft lips on his and the feeling of their bodies.
When they separated he only whispered seven words:
“I love you so much, Phil Lester.”