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Things have… improved. If he’s looking at things objectively.
He was able to get whatever the hell was going on with his powers in check, learned that the notorious Punisher was a major cornball, and saved Jean from walking the wrong path.
It only took a bullet to the spine, but small setbacks. Peter will take a win wherever he can.
New York has mostly returned to normal, or as normal as it can be. Jean is nowhere to be found, which concerns him a bit, but he trusts her to find him if she needs a hand. Or just to talk. He’d really like to talk to her, after all that. That feeling of loneliness never fully goes away in this line of work.
Now in terms of his friends… that’s still a work in progress. If he’s being honest, he’s grateful for what they’ve given him, as delicate as it is.
After he was released from the hospital, he almost didn’t reach out. He almost fell back into this pattern he’d been living, this defense mechanism that he claimed was protecting them, when it clearly wasn’t. Hell, it hadn't protected him either.
He allowed his moment of hesitance, as he was still recovering at the time, but he’d long decided this self isolation was over.
So, Peter swallowed his pride and listened to his own advice (damn him) and stepped back into their lives.
With Ned, it was almost easy. One secret handshake, a quick explanation of who exactly Peter Parker was, followed by the realization.
“Peter? As in ‘Spider-Man’s name is Peter?’”
Peter let out a small laugh, “Yeah man, that Peter.”
This resulted in the long, but honestly shorter than expected, explanation of what this all means, and how it involved them both. Doctor Strange, Mysterio, the multiverse, powerful spells. He didn’t have the letter he wrote with him, and considering how it went with MJ, he’d rather approach this differently.
With glittering eyes, Ned experienced the joy of having known Spider-Man, shortly followed by the despair of forgetting it all.
His curiosity took over, asking every question to come to mind.
“So, when did we meet?”
Wait, so how did I find out you were Spider-Man?”
“I was your guy in the chair?! And I don’t even remember?! I think I might throw up.”
Over time, they went over the details of their friendship, the Lego sets built, the Star Wars marathons, and the decathlon.
Information came in portions, as it can be emotionally taxing to learn about your forgotten best friend in one sitting.
There were moments where Peter could see the sadness behind his eyes, not being able to relive these memories in the way Peter could. He couldn’t see beyond grasping blurs and brief moments of recognition. Enough to know it happened, but not enough to feel it.
This gave Peter some hope, though. Knowing there was something still in their minds that held these memories, even if they couldn’t access them. Maybe with time, they can truly get them back. In the meantime they can work on new memories.
As they spent more time together, this delicate thing became stronger.
With Ned, nothing was scary, only more curiosity. It was truly easy. And he’d robbed himself of having his best friend back for four years.
MJ was different.
She was… hesitant. She wasn’t present for every meetup he and Ned had, but when she was there, she was largely silent. She maintained her quiet vigil on the couch, always observing, but rarely commenting. She would smile at their reminiscing, and occasionally poke fun at the nerdy shit they’d say, but she kept her distance.
It stung, but it’s better than the past four years of silence.
Granted, it’s been maybe a bit over a month since he approached Ned in the bodega, and they’d only hung out a few times, but while things with Ned have almost felt normal, MJ couldn’t be further. If anything, it’s reminiscent of when she’d sit on the other end of the cafeteria table, feigning disinterest.
But really, he won’t push. As he said. Delicate.
It probably didn’t help that shortly after the whole debacle, her boyfriend broke up with her.
The whole disappearing for a day with no word and no explanation after didn’t sit well with him. Part of Peter rejoiced, knowing that he was out of the picture, but another part of him felt guilt, knowing he had a direct impact on that. When it came up, she easily dismissed it, claiming nothing could’ve been done. He didn’t know how long they’d been together, so he’s unsure how heavy this is for her, but he can’t help but feel that may have been damning in regards to their fragile relationship.
Well. Her finding the letter and the conversation that followed was probably what caused this fissure, but Peter will do anything to put at least some blame on her lame ass ex.
I mean, he didn’t know the guy but clearly they weren’t a match. He said she was withholding, like what? Clearly this guy doesn’t understand MJ at all. MJ, who holds strong opinions, and speaks her mind on every controversial topic. She’s perceptive, and gathers sufficient evidence before stating her conclusions. If MJ is comfortable with you (which is a feat of its own), she will speak her mind. Being her boyfriend, he should know this. If she’s withholding anything, it’s clearly because either you're stupid or can’t be trusted. And honestly, he couldn’t be trusted to know she had to stay at the Punisher’s hideout for her own safety anyway.
He shakes away his annoyance. Either way, Peter has mixed feelings about it all. He knows he wants to fix things, but the route to take is… still murky. Getting close to MJ all over again reminds him just how gradual it was in high school.
During his recovery, all he could think about was the hope he had for their future, and now, laying in his apartment, he feels nervous for it. Obviously, he’s still hopeful, of course, but he’s impatient.
Peter groans aloud to himself in his empty apartment.
”Are you alright, Peter?” Eva speaks up from the monitor, “would you like to talk about it?”
”No, no it’s fine Eva. Just. Thinking,” he mumbles back.
He can hear her question coming before she asks.
“What are you thinking about?”
He never meant for this AI to be like Karen or Friday. She was meant purely for analyzing his tech and speeding up the coding process for his new gadgets. He did use what he could salvage from the coding for his previous suits, but he didn’t want anything that was… too much. Some of Karen must have snuck through the cracks. He usually does his best to shut any emotional discussion down, as it doesn’t help as much as talking to a real therapist would.
”I’m meeting up with Ned and MJ again tomorrow and I’m just overthinking it again, that’s all. You can take the rest of the night off.”
”Okay Peter. Goodnight,” the AI responds with a pleasant lilt.
He sighs again, before putting the rest of his thoughts to bed. One step at a time.
———-
“Oh, can you hand me the 1x1?”
Peter hesitates. “The black or the red one?”
”Red,” Ned says, hand out, still focused on the small tie fighter in front of him.
Peter passes the piece over and continues working on his x-wing.
MJ sits nearby, observing discreetly. She’s satisfied to sit and watch, feel the warmth of company and familiarity, as long as she doesn’t think too hard on it. A lot has changed in a short amount of time, and she’s still coping with it. What path to take next?
What paths are there to take really? On one hand they accept Peter into the group, as if there’s nothing strange about their whole situation. Magic, missing memories, superheroes.
They accept that he’s the missing piece of their pasts, and they work to fix that, regardless of the risks that follow.
On the other, they cast him out. Forget him as they’ve done before. Not much would change for them. They’ve done just fine until now. It feels like the safer option, regarding both their physical and mental safety.
And yet she hates that option.
Something deep behind the curtains of her mind rejects that idea entirely, as if on instinct. As if it’s not even possible to consider, entirely against her nature. Any time she thinks of it, there’s this ice cold fear in the back of her mind that cooly rejects it.
And this is how she knows everything he’s said is true.
She can feel these lost memories like a dream she just can’t remember. But she knows it happened. And from what he’s told, he fills these gaps perfectly. She was worried she was tricking herself into a false sense of being, believing a well knit lie, but from what Ned has disclosed, both about his memories and secrets even she didn’t know, she knew it all to be true.
MJ has always believed in considering every option to ensure the best outcome. Logically cutting him out would be the best for her and Ned. They would be a safe distance from superhero business. They could continue their job searching and remain unaffected by whatever the hell goes on in the world of vigilantes.
And yet. She cannot fathom making that choice.
While she may not understand it now, a previous version of her knew better, in regards to Peter Parker, and that will have to be enough.
For now, the current version of her has spent her time observing the enigma that is Spider-Man.
He is kindhearted, intent on doing the right thing, and possibly the dorkiest person she’s ever met besides Ned. He fits into their apartment better than she’d expect a red and blue suited vigilante to, and he adds a feeling of security to their little group. She can no longer deny the growing affection she has for him, regardless.
When she read that letter, she felt lost. Her interactions with him had been very confusing up to that point, but she had not once doubted it was for her own safety. Their conversations at that hideout had been comfortable, and she can see it now, he knew her, so he knew how to speak to her. It was new territory for her, but a known path for him. It painted everything in a different light, and she couldn't help but feel hurt. Hurt for a version of her she didn’t know anymore. Hurt for the girl who knew and loved Peter Parker, but ended up losing him.
Part of her was angry. He took that choice from her by not telling her when he had planned to. And it seemed he was never going to tell her. But another part of her felt sympathy. Because she also understands his reasoning. He had lost someone, and it tainted the rest of his relationships. He thought he was protecting them by not getting them involved, which frankly, is exactly the type of self sacrificial shit a hero would do. And honestly, she'd be terrified too, in his position. She can’t testify to what decision she’d make.
So, she finds herself in the present. As messy as things may be, she believes this calls for a fresh start. She wants things back to the way they were, even if she can’t remember it.
As the afternoon turns to evening, she finds herself wanting to know more than what she can get just from observation alone. She wants to know him again.
Her surroundings come back into focus as Ned places the finished Lego sets proudly on the shelf in their shared living room. She’s long since accepted these would be a centerpiece in their apartment and she can’t say she minds it.
”Now who’s up for pizza?” Ned asks, not even trying to hide his excitement.
”Can’t say I’m against it,” Peter smiles.
Ned grabs his phone from his pocket. “I’ll order to deliver.”
”Wait, the place by Richie’s grocer, right?” MJ speaks up.
“Yeah, why?”
“I think their delivery is out right now. I think they only have pickup,” MJ fibs.
Ned gives a confused look, “Are you sure? I mean I can go grab it, or I can order somewhere else-“
MJ gives him a pleading look, pointedly facing away from Peter. “I’m sure.”
The dots connect, and Ned nods. “Yeah. Yes. How could I forget,” he laughs, a bit nervous. “Delivery is out. I’ll just do pickup.”
He grabs his coat and leaves. Silence followed for a moment, before MJ spoke up.
”We should talk about it.”
Peter startles a bit where he’s sitting on the floor. “Uh. What. Specifically, are you wanting to talk about?” His heart beats faster in his chest.
“All of it,” she gestures. “The letter. The memories. Our relationship.”
Peter hesitates. “Our… relationship.” His eyes look a little pleading.
She nods. “Yes.”
He takes a breath and looks down to his hands where he fiddles with a spare Lego brick. “Look, I’m sorry if I messed up what you had with your boyfriend, I didn’t mean-“
MJ gives a confused look. “What? No. I’m not talking about him. You didn’t do anything.”
“But you broke up because of what I had you do,” Peter points out against his better judgement. What, does he want her mad at him? He mentally smacks himself.
MJ scoffs. “That was a long time coming. He was… getting too comfortable thinking my every move was his business.” She rubs her eyes and takes a deep breath, “You had me hide for my safety. It was necessary. No, I’m not talking about him.”
”Oh… okay,” he accepts, but he can’t shake the nerves. He has no idea where this conversation will go. She might finally want to be rid of him, which terrifies him.
“…I was upset about you not telling us when you said you would. You know this already.”
He swallows. “Yeah. I know, I’m sorry.”
“And I know it’s objectively crazy to walk up to someone and claim to know them. I can see how that would be hard. And given what you’d just been through, I can’t fully blame you. But I wish you’d done it anyway.”
He nods, but says nothing.
She stares at him for a while, analyzing. Her gaze is soft, but not the softness he had gotten used to years before.
“I know you didn’t do anything with ill intent. You don’t have it in you. But losing this without any say in the matter hurts.”
He ducks his head. He can’t bear to look into those eyes anymore.
A beat of silence passes before she speaks again.
“I told you I don’t love you.”
Each softly spoken word struck like an individual ice pick to the heart. He can feel warm tears pooling in his eyes and his breath catches. He understands now. She wanted Ned gone so he wouldn’t see her remove him from their lives.
Another deep breath. “I said I didn’t love you, because I didn’t know you.”
Slowly, as if not to startle him, she lifts herself from the couch and positions herself in front of him on the floor.
”So, let me know you.”
His head whips up fast, a tear escaping as he does so. He doesn’t bother wiping it away, there isn’t much point in trying to save face now.
“…what?”
Her hands settle on his shaking ones, still holding the brick. “Let me know you. Tell me things about myself that only you’d know. Tell me how we met. Tell me how I found out about Spider-Man.” She grips his hands a bit tighter. “Tell me everything I used to know.”
He just stares at her in silence, eyes wide. No words come out.
“I want you to fill in the gaps for me. Please.”
”Why now?” He blurts. “What changed?”
She looks down for a moment, thinking.
“It took some time to process after reading that letter. I didn’t know how to feel. I’m being told I used to know Spider-Man, and that I had an entire person missing from my memories. A person I loved.” She glances up at him “And that person chose to stay away. They chose to leave me behind.”
He shakes his head at her words, eyes wide. “No, that’s not-“
“I know,” she interrupts gently. “I know now. But at the time I didn’t. I had no idea what your reason was. But seeing you, now, I know you’d never hurt us.” She bites her lip. “And watching you both, seeing you here made me see what we’ve been missing. What I’ve been missing. And I want it back, if that’s possible.”
He’s openly crying now. She reaches up. There's the slightest bit of hesitation, before she wipes a few of his tears away.
The overwhelming urge to lean into that familiar hand he’s missed for so long hits him hard. But he resists. He won’t push.
He takes in a shaky breath. “I’m really happy to have you guys back.”
Her eyes turn hopeful as they meet again.
She smirks, before saying, “Better late than never.”
He laughs a bit at the jab and nods. “Better late than never.”