Chapter Text
A wave of heat rolled through Megan’s body, spreading from her neck to her lower back. Her heart pounded in her chest as her eyes adjusted to the dark room. Her blanket felt suffocating. Her body was clammy with sweat. Her sheets clung to her sticky skin, making her feel gross.
Sleep had been harder to come by lately. With Manon’s hiatus and their increasing workload with their new EP and documentary, her body had never been more tired, yet her mind had never been so awake. Her mind would race through thousands of online theories and speculations anytime she tried to shut her eyes, even wondering herself if they were true.
Their company had been very brief with the reasoning behind Manon’s hiatus, even to them. They trained them on what to say in interviews, controlled what they could post about her online, and even their private conversations with her. It was confusing and anxiety-inducing to say the least.
Megan kicked her comforter off her body, hoping to lose some of the heat, but without it she suddenly felt too exposed. She pulled one of her lighter blankets that had been balled up against the wall over her body, hoping the fabric was more breathable. She could hear the soft breaths of Lara across the room, a reminder to keep herself quiet. Her struggles were her own.
She shifted around in her bed, flipping from side to side, yet the wetness of her body was far worse than she had realized, especially on her back side. Megan knew her night sweats could be bad, but they were never this bad.
She rubbed her hand against her back only to find the bottom half of her shirt soaked. Her hand travelled to her sheets, only to feel a cool wetness that sunk deep into the mattress much farther than sweat ever could.
Megan’s body shot up, her hands scrambling to push her blanket off her legs. Her eyes scanned her mattress. Despite the darkness of the room, her eyes had adjusted enough to see the painfully obvious damp patch beneath her. Her inner thighs were not only sticky, but the inside of her shorts was soaked with something that was definitely not sweat.
Now that the blanket was no longer covering her, it was no longer masking the smell either. It clung to her, to the inside of her nose, like a disgusting secret thriving off of shame. At twenty fucking years old, she had wet the bed like a petulant child.
Tears pricked painfully at the corners of her eyes, but she didn’t let them escape. She inhaled a shaky breath as she carefully began to maneuver herself out of bed. Her shorts clung to her inner thighs, and suddenly the heat encasing her body seemed to vanish as a cold chill ran up her spine.
How long had she been sitting in her own urine? It didn’t make sense. She hadn’t wet the bed since she was five. Why did this have to be happening now when the whole world was watching her every move?
At least she was in the privacy of her own home. She quietly opened her dresser drawer, quickly grabbing a new set of pajamas and underwear.
What if Lara noticed her waking up in different pajamas than she had gone to sleep in?
No, Lara wouldn’t notice something like that, and besides, she could always say she’d just gotten her period. That excuse could work if anyone caught her washing her sheets at this ungodly hour.
Carefully, Megan cracked the door open and slipped out into the hallway, making her way over to her and Lara’s shared bathroom. The fluorescent lights were harsh compared to the darkness of the night. Her senses felt overly heightened. Megan swore she could hear the electricity buzzing around in the light bulbs.
She made quick work of stripping off her sodden pajamas, wiping herself off with some flushable wipes that always seemed to come in handy when she was on her period. She guided her legs through the new underwear and shorts, the fabric soft on her slightly irritated skin.
In just shorts and a bra, she stared at herself in the mirror, and for a moment she didn’t recognize the girl staring back at her. For a moment, the tired eyes and makeup-less face nearly fooled her into believing the girl in the mirror was someone else. A girl from a different timeline, one that didn’t need to worry about the constant criticism from the media, but after a moment everything came back to her.
She was Megan, global popstar, the all-rounder queen of Katseye. She was meant to be an inspiration, an idol little girls could look up to, yet all she could see now were the cracks spreading through her carefully painted mask.
She shook her head, trying to shake the thoughts out of her mind. She slipped on the oversized t-shirt, the soft fabric sliding off of her shoulder. She always felt more comfortable in clothes that hid her body’s imperfections.
She balled up her dirty clothes in her hand and cracked the bathroom door open. Light flooded the hallway as she peeked her head out, making sure no one else was awake.
Once she decided the coast was clear, she turned off the light and slid into the hallway, the darkness overtaking her once again. This time her eyes couldn’t adjust. Instead she had to rely on her hand against the wall to guide her back to her bedroom.
She had left the door the tiniest bit ajar, letting her just nudge it open with her hand. She paused when the hinges creaked, listening for any movement from Lara’s bed. After a beat of no signs of stirring, she tiptoed her way into the room, carefully avoiding the one squeaky floorboard that had woken them up dozens of times.
She tossed her urine-soaked clothes on the floor, planning on washing them with her sheets, and got on her hands and knees to peer underneath her bed. She knew there was an extra set of sheets under here; she just had to find them.
Her hands slid across different sizes of plastic bins until her fingertips brushed against a softer, crunchier plastic. She pulled on it, cringing at the sound it made as she yanked it from underneath her bed. She held her breath as she began to open the zipper, praying to whatever gods were up there that Lara was in too deep a sleep to be woken.
Her silent prayers were answered as she was able to unzip the bag without waking the other girl. She stood up and began gently tossing her stuffed animals and blankets that were safe from her accident onto the floor in a neat pile. She stripped her fitted sheet, now thankful that Sofia had forced all of them to get mattress protectors.
Megan added her bedding to the pile of peed-on items she was now starting and began wrestling with the new fitted sheets. This was something that Sophia or one of the other girls would typically offer to help her with, but there was no way in hell she was about to wake one of them up and ask them now.
She struggled to keep her breathing even, the act of making her bed feeling more like a workout than a simple chore. Finally, she was able to place everything back into her bed. With a sigh of relief, she picked up her pile of laundry and headed back out into the hallway.
Her stroll to the laundry room was much more dangerous than her trip to the bathroom, with it being downstairs. She tried to watch as her feet stepped downwards, hoping her luck hadn’t run out yet. Thankfully, she made it down unscathed, a likely tribute to her many late-night snack runs in the dark.
The laundry room was hidden towards the back of the house, one of the most useful rooms yet one of the least aesthetic. It was fairly large though, containing two washers and two dryers.
She carefully lifted the lid to one of the washers and set her sheets inside, filling the top compartment with soap and turning the dial to bedding. As the machine came to life, the tightness in Megan’s chest began to release. No one had to know. This was just a one-time thing. A weird one-time thing that was probably just from the combination of anxiety, exhaustion, and her odd sleep schedule. It shouldn’t be anything to worry about.
As she left the laundry room and softly closed the door behind her, she heard some faint rustling coming from the kitchen. Shit. She knew she could easily blame her soiled sheets on her period, but she wasn’t exactly prepared to do it now. Maybe whoever it was would be too tired to question her.
As she crossed the living room, she saw Sophia standing in the kitchen, appearing to be getting herself a late-night snack. Damn. There was no getting out of this one.
“Hey,” Megan whispered, voice raspy as she stepped into the gentle kitchen light. “What are you doing up?”
Sophia’s eyes shot up. Her face looked puffy. Dark circles sat beneath her eyes. Had she been crying?
“Oh, Megan,” she whispered, dragging a hand down her face. “You startled me.”
As Megan’s eyes narrowed at their leader, she quickly filled the silence with a tone way too cheery for this hour.
“I was just getting a snack. Do you want anything?” Sophia asked in that all too gentle tone.
“No, I’m alright,” Megan said slowly. “Are you okay?”
Sophia stared at her for a moment, her face blank, exhausted, before she replaced it with an easy smile.
“Yeah, yeah, I just had some trouble staying asleep. I didn’t think anyone else was up. What are you doing awake?”
And just like that, the conversation had flipped over to Megan. Her chest squeezed as she inhaled a sharp breath. She could do this. One little white lie never hurt anyone. She exhaled before she spoke.
“I got my period, decided to just wash the sheets while I’m up,” she said, pointing her thumb towards the laundry room.
“Oh, are you okay? Do you need anything?” Sophia asked, her motherly side coming out.
“Naw, I’m alright. I’ll probably just head back up to bed now,” she said, taking a few steps backwards.
“Okay,” Sophia sighed, her shoulders seeming to droop in relief. “Well, just let me know if you need anything.”
Megan gave her best, most genuine smile before turning and heading upstairs. It’s fine, she told herself. Everything is going to be just fine.
As she rounded the corner to her bedroom, Sophia’s face flashed in her mind. Maybe she wasn’t the only one struggling. That didn’t matter. Her issues were her own to deal with. She didn’t need to push them onto any of the other girls, let alone Sophia. Everything was just stressful right now, but they would get through it. They always did.