Work Text:
The following fic is over 12,000 words long (not counting notes), is ninety percent worldbuilding and ten percent shitpost. You decide which parts are which.
Come yell at me on BlueSky.
https://bsky.app/profile/abowlofapples.bsky.social
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Catra and Adora snuggled on the couch. Adora, tall and leanly built with jet black hair that fell to her shoulders, contrasted nicely to Catra, who was short, her hair and fur various shades of brown paired nicely with her heterochromatic eyes. Both women were dressed in the red and white training jerseys and pants of Brightmoon University and it had been one hell of a day.
"So you're going home?" Catra asked.
"Not much of a choice," Adora said, waving her free hand (Catra had the other one), the signet ring on it seemingly flashing in the lamplight. Which itself was odd as Adora never wore jewelry of any kind. "My mother and Uncle Duncan are the two smartest people I know." Catra gave her a look. "Who are not Mermista, a crazed inventor, or the sons of the local cult leader," she amended. "Point is, they might be the only ones who have any freakin' clue about these rings and how they work."
Catra gave her even more of a look. Adora tended to get close-mouthed about her family and really, Catra only knew that she wasn't from Etheria, just had grown up here in Brightmoon, she went home for two weeks every summer, and her Gaurdian, Razz, whom Catra suspected of being just a little bit mad, was some sort of family friend. It wasn't estrangement, more like Adora was just holding back, but for Catra, it was an itch she couldn't scratch and that was . . . annoying.
On the table, a phone vibrated.
"Me or you?" Adora groaned.
Catra leaned forward. "You," she said, "screen says 'Crass'."
Adora looked perplexed, but leaned forward and grabbed her phone, hitting the speaker button. "Hey-"
"Where are you right now?" demanded a woman's voice, "don't care. Get in that monstrosity of yours and be at the Sonic's in Greens in fifteen minutes. We'll pick you up there."
"Crass, why are you picking me up at Sonic's?" Adora asked, somehow conveying both patience and annoyance. "For that matter, why are you coming to Etheria at all?"
"Because its either come get you or kill Adam."
Adora's brow furrowed adorably. "Why is killing Adam an option?"
"Because that damn himbo ass golden retriever proposed."
"But -"
Crass let out a tiny scream. "Adora Isabella Miros, if you are not at the Greens Sonic in fourteen minutes, I will personally hunt you down, break your legs and drag you back to Eternia even if you are on the toilet shitting blood, I do not care." She hung up.
"Stars and Bars," Adora groaned, getting to her feet and rising to her full just under six foot height. Catra, by contrast, was only five eight. "I guess I should be glad its Spring Break," she said, and dialed. "It's half an hour just to get there by freeway," she said into the phone, "and I need to pack. So get yourself something to eat at Sonic's and wait."
"What?" Crass shrieked.
"You heard me. One hour. Lump it." Adora hung up and sighed. "I'm gonna be gone, probably for the next week, and . . ." she trailed off as she took in her girlfriend's face. "Cat, this is family stuff, I don't want to drag you in-"
Catra cut her off with a sweep of her hand. "'Dora, when I commit, I commit, so don't even think you're wading into whatever this Adam person did without me." She held up a finger before Adora could respond. "No."
Adora sighed but there was a smile on her face. "All right, but I gave you the option to back out."
"Noted," Catra replied.
Both women pocketed their phones and headed for the bedroom, sidestepping a box or two. Catra had recently moved in and there was still bits of detritus here and there. "Pack like we're the visiting team," Adora told her and opened the closet. "Adam is my fraternal twin. Short version, he and his best friend Teela have been in love since they first shared a cradle and then spent the next twenty some odd years doing everything they could to deny it followed by the last year of speedrunning a relationship." She held up her hand. "Yes, I have a twin, no, I'm not going into why I grew up here in Brightmoon other than my grandfather's fuckery. Not right now."
Despite her now burning curiosity, Catra nodded as they grabbed the rolling suitcases (Emerald Green for Adora, Scarlet Red for Catra) from the closet and the matching backpacks in the same colors. The packs themselves were pre-loaded with a complete charging set, toiletries and other necessities. All that remained was their laptops and ebook tablets.
Into the rolling suitcases went five pairs of underwear, three sport bras, five t-shirts, a swimsuit each, and pajamas. They also packed workout clothes, two pairs of jeans and one pair of jean shorts.
"Hoodie and long sleeves too," Adora said, "we're gonna be in the mountains - well, the foothills. Anyway, it gets cold at night."
Catra went and got a beat-up old hoodie and a long sleeve crewneck, adding it to the case.
Adora did the same. "Don't misunderstand, its not like anyone is objecting to Adam marrying Teela – well, anyone who really matters – so what probably has Crass screaming is how he did it."
"And Crass is?"
"A stray Adam brought home and our folks wound up adopting. She practically idolizes Adam, so whatever he did, it must have been insane."
Catra went and got the garment bags. Like the backpacks and suitcases, these were color coded and each contained a three piece suit and then a basic outfit of dress pants, jacket, shoes, socks, and dress blouse and could be rolled up and attached to the rolling suitcases. "So your last name isn't Glen?"
"Glen is mom's name," Adora said, "I use it to avoid attention, but I really don't want to get into that right now either. Game face." She zipped up her suitcase. "Game face," she repeated, more quietly.
Catra hopped up onto the bed, grabbed Adora by the face and throughly kissed her. "Game face," she said, and hopped back off the bed. "Now let's go." She grabbed her bags and then realized that Adora was still standing there, a dopey look on her face. "Let's go," Catra repeated. "Adora," she said, adding a light shove, and that got Adora to blink and focus.
"Right. Gone. Time." She was still smiling that dopey smile.
Catra sighed. "You're lucky you're hot."
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Adora's car, Swift Wind, had started life as some sort of two door model that someone had stuffed an oversized engine into and that was about where Catra's knowledge and understanding of cars began and ended. From there, the car's history included words like all manual tuning, carbon fiber body panels, and technical data sheets. All of which Catra had no interest in other than sitting on a stool and admiring the view as Adora bent over the engine, tinkering and tuning to extract every last ounce of horsepower possible. It was especially enjoyed in summer, when Adora would wear a crop top (Or even just her sports bra) and shorts while she worked.
Equally enjoyed was the full bass roar of the engine and the resulting vibrations that did very nice things to Catra's insides. Especially since the seats of the car were bolstered and the bolstering transmitted those vibrations directly into Catra's body whenever Adora got the car up to speed and say what you wanted, Etheria had well maintained roads with just the right amount of curves and straight lines to make driving fun as all hell.
Greens was one of those small towns that was slowly losing to corporate development, with farmland giving way to suburban homes and outdoor malls, wood and brick to plasterboard and glass.
But it was also the closest Sonic's to Brightmoon U.
"The fuck?" Catra said as they pulled in. There was an empty field next door and an old skycarrier was nudged up against the fence, the boarding ramp down and over the fence into the parking lot. The outdoor seating area had a number of people on it, including two Sheriff's deputies.
"I was wondering what she meant by 'picking you up'," Adora grumbled, taking out her wallet as she pulled up and one of the deputies, a tall blond man came over. He had a square jaw and twinkling blue eyes. His name badge read simply "S. Rogers".
"You Adora?" Rogers asked.
"Yes, I'm sorry for this," Adora said, starting to take out her license but Rogers held up his hand.
"No need, Ma'am, and frankly, this is the most interesting thing to happen to me and Sam all year. Feel free to get a bite if you're so inclined, but then it'd be best if you were on your way before word starts getting around."
"Of course," Adora agreed, "thank you."
Rogers tugged at the brim of his hat, stepping back and Adora pulled into the drive thru where she ordered a triple burger combo, a second triple cheeseburger, then two double combos and Coke all around.
By the time they came back around, the gathering in the outdoor area had scattered and Rogers and another deputy, presumably Sam, were by the skycarrier's ramp shaking hands with a redhaired man in blue while three more women and a creature that looked like a miniature rhinoceros standing upright looked on.
One of the women, dark skinned, dressed in dark blue came over, trailed by the rhino creature, who was dressed in olive green and dark blue.
"Hey, she said, "I'm Piper, executive officer of the Condor," she jerked her thumb at the skycarrier.
"And I'm Junko," said the rhino, "you wanna back in or drive up?"
Adora looked at the ramp. "Back in."
"Yes!" Junko hurried halfway up the ramp while Adora guided Swift Wind into position and then backed up the ramp, following Junko's hand signals, stopping when he signaled to do so.
Adora switched off the engine and she and Catra got out, Catra taking the drinks, Adora the food. At the door, Piper was pulling switches. One raised the ramp, a second lowered a door, the third caused some sort of locking bar to rise from the floor and clamp to the rims.
"Wow," Adora said, letting out a low whistle and crouching to look.
"Thanks," Piper said, coming over followed by the other two women. One was a dark skinned as she was, dressed in a short sleeve dark green coverall. The other one had purpleish skin, messy green hair tipped with pink streaks under a crimson red cap with an embroidered crystal, and was dressed in loose clothing which did nothing to hide the fact that she moved like a boxer, her powerful, solid arms and legs, or her broad shoulders. She was pretty cute too, with prominent cheekbones, brilliant purple eyes and at some point, her nose had been broken. "Took me a while to come up with it, and longer to actually find a way to attach them to the frame without interfering with the lifters." She turned to Junko. "Go tell Stork to take off. You know how he hates flying at night."
"You got it!" Junko said and jogged up some metal stairs. Moments later, there was a whine as turbines spun up and the floor tilted slightly as they lifted off and swung around.
"Gotta admit, Crass was right when she called your car a monstrosity," said the woman in the coverall, "heard you coming before we even saw the sun glint on your windshield. Name's Andra, Teela's a friend of mine and I'm guessing you know Crass." She jerked her thumb at the purple skinned woman with a grin.
"This is my girlfriend Catra, and we've met, yeah," Adora said, and looked at Crass. "Hey-"
"Shut your pie hole," Crass said, scowling.
"Oookay," Adora said, taken back, and even Andra looked shocked.
"Crew area this way," Piper said, and led them up the stairs Junko had gone up and into a sort of common room slash dining room. One end had a kitchen, the other a lounge, and a long table was in the middle. Couches and chairs were here and there and it seemed rather cozy. Adora passed the bag with the two triples and one of the Cokes to Crass, who took it to the far end of the table while Adora, Catra, and Andra sat at the other. Piper headed back up another set of stairs near the lounge.
"So whatcha got under there?" Andra asked.
"Boosted Hemi Twelve," Adora answered. Andra raised her eyebrows. "I didn't put it in there," she added. "Anyway, tuning's all manual, and I replaced the original body panels with carbon fiber. Only electronics is the stereo."
"Damn, what's the top speed?"
Adora grinned. "Needle stops at two ten, but there's not really any place around here I can open up and really go, y'know?"
"I do know," Andra nodded.
"So what did Adam do?" Catra asked bluntly.
"You don't know?" Andra asked.
"Crass didn't tell me anything other than Adam proposed and to get to Sonic's," Adora said with a shrug, "and I figured if she was pissed off enough to call him names, she'd tell me ASAP."
"Fucking dumbass!" Crass snapped. She was eating her burger as though it was some kind of act of revenge.
"Adam didn't just propose, he did so publicly, loudly, and without bothering to inform anyone at home, catching us all flat footed. No warning, no chance to prep PR, no optics," Andra explained, "your folks found out by watching the news, same as everyone else."
"Let me guess, Mom is all over the place with the wedding planning, right?" Adora asked. Andra grimaced and Adora's face fell. "Right?"
"Wedding?" Crass asked, and her eyes were wild, "you think I'd be pissed if this was just wedding planning? No, I'd have just called and bitched. This is worse."
"Not content with public showboating, the happy couple hopped over to Casino Row and eloped," Andra said, “centuries of tradition have been upended."
"Oh no," Adora groaned.
"Oh yes," Andra said, "every tailor and fashion house is pissed, every socialite is crying and tearing out her hair either because Teela 'won' or their chances of being seen at the wedding event of the season were torpedoed, and your father is being deluged with politics and paperwork by the other Houses trying to invalidate the marriage and give their daughters a shot at Adam. Teela then added to it all by offering to step aside for anyone who can beat her in a duel. As of when we left for Brightmoon, no takers."
"Jeez," Catra said, eating the last of her fries, "Houses, tradition, duels, what are you, a princess?"
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"You're a damn princess," Catra said flatly.
"Surprise," Adora said with a weak smile as she guided Swift Wind down the Condor's ramp. She'd piled up her hair under an old ratty ball cap and wore tinted glasses.
The skycarrier sat on a circle of cement ringed with lights. The circle in turn sat on a grassy lawn divided with paths wide enough to drive on made of brick or stone and fitted tightly together. The paths in turn were edged with strings of lights just bright enough to see by.
Before them, a massive building rose up some five stories, some parts visibly older than others, and windows glowed with golden light. It was dusk, and Adora had not been kidding about the cold.
At the bottom of the ramp, Andra and Piper were talking.
"Thanks again for this," Andra said.
"Hey, it was fun," Piper said, "nice and low key, so feel free to call us when these two need to go back; that Sonic's was good. But really, just make sure we get paid. Between Junko and Finn, half our operating budget is food."
"Hey!" Someone shouted in outrage from inside the carrier. Piper smirked.
Andra patted her chest pocket. "Got the chit right here, just have to turn it into the Excheq and from there, the money will be in your hands at the speed of bureaucracy. Promise."
Piper rolled her eyes, but she was smiling. "I said to make sure that we get paid, not be promised that we'd get paid." The two women embraced. "Good to see you, Andra," Piper said, "take care."
"Right back at you," Andra said.
Piper turned and headed up the ramp, the engines already roaring to life as the door rolled down behind her and the ramp raised. Fire belched from the underside and then they were in the air, banking around and accelerating, vanishing from sight.
"Is it wrong that I want one?" Adora asked, leaning out of Swift Wind to watch.
"No," Andra agreed, "but how much do you know about crystalline grav mechanics?"
"Uhhh," Adora blinked at her.
"Exactly."
"Can we go already?" Crass complained from the back seat.
"How the hell did you get back there?" Adora asked.
Crass smirked. "Wouldn't you like to know?"
"Wouldn't you like me to tell Catra your real name?"
"Fuck you."
"Already done," Catra said, finding that she was enjoying this. "Repeatedly, thoroughly, and loudly."
Crass' eyes widened and then narrowed. "I will burn down everything you love and then shit on it."
"In case you were wondering," Adora said, "there's a reason we call her Crass."
"Yeah," Catra drawled, "I figured that part out already, thanks."
"Yeah" Andra said, "the Queen is going to love you."
Catra flicked a glance at Adora, who lifted one shoulder in a shrug. "Mom has a very specific sense of humor."
"Why does that sound more concerning than it probably is?"
"Because you haven't met her yet."
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The King and Queen were busy raking Adam and Teela over the coals and running damage control and Adora had moved quickly to get them food and into a room.
"Okay, not bad," Catra said as a valet bowed them into a room that had to be at least twice the size of their apartment, before following them with a cart, "but jeez."
"You're not wrong," Adora said, and then held up a hand at the valet who was moving towards the fireplace. "It's fine," she told the woman, "there's no need. We're not to be disturbed for the rest of the evening and we'll leave the cart outside when we're done."
"Very good, your highness," the valet replied, "I am to inform you that Fortino has booked an appointment for you both tomorrow at eleven."
Adora looked crestfallen, but nodded. "Yeah, thanks," she said, sounding as though she'd not only been sentenced to death, but also that the sentence was utterly unsurprising. "Have a good evening."
"Thank you, your highness, and you as well." The valet bowed to Adora, then to Catra, "Ma'am", and then left quickly on noiseless feet.
"So." Catra flopped onto the massive couch, feet up on a soft thick Ottoman. "When were you gonna tell me about this?" she waved a hand to indicate everything. She couldn't quite keep the edge of anger out of her voice.
"This summer," was Adora's immediate answer, "That makes two years together."
"Doncha think its something to explain to your girlfriend before she moves in?" Catra demanded, "or even, oh, I dunno, when you start being girlfriends?"
"Ah, probably, but . . ." Adora looked skyward, as though seeking guidance from On High. "Being a princess is living your life under a microscope. In Brightmoon, we're just Adora and Catra, athletes and grad students. Here, I'm Princess Adora and everyone is going to judge us, judge me, and judge you. Adam's little stunt is going to force the Royal Family to make a public show of unity, so chances are . . ." she picked up a remote from a side table and turned on the TV.
". . . believed to be Princess Adora has arrived at the palace with a female companion," said the woman on screen, a blonde with far too much makeup, "as her Highnesses' bisexuality is well known, and its likely that this woman is her Highness' lover, one can honestly say that for the moment at least, the princess most definitely enjoys -"
Adora switched the TV off. "Any questions?"
Catra stared at the TV, open mouthed. "No," she said at last, "no, I'm good."
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Catra was, by nature, a deep sleeper, which conflicted with the need to be up early for competition and training purposes, as well as classes, so she tended to rely on coffee to wake up. However, the previous day's events had made her sleep fitful, and so she was thinking even less than normal as she dragged herself from bed, and out into the hall, following the delicious scent of coffee down a set of stairs and into the dining room, barely paying attention to anything as she homed in on the massive dispenser, grabbing a large mug. Someone said something and she hissed at them.
"Coffee," she croaked, filling the mug nearly to the brim and moving to sit at the table.
She sipped. The coffee was good this morning.
Her ears flicked at the sound of voices, but she wasn't awake enough to care.
Coffee mattered. Coffee good.
She barely looked up as someone sat across from her, letting her eyes trace over the fine carvings that ran along the edge of the table, noting the geometric patterns worked into them.
Another sip of coffee. So good.
"Dear, who is this and why does she have my mug?" Said a man's voice.
"Just use Adam's, Dear," said the person, the woman, across from her, "he can drink from a guest mug for once."
Catra took another sip.
Someone sat to her right.
She traced her finger along the table carvings, admiring the craftsmanship. She wondered when Adora had- the previous day came rushing back to her and she was suddenly and most definitely awake.
That was not any of their coffee mugs in her hand, this was not their table, that was not their usual coffee in her mug, and she raised her eyes to her companions. Across from her was an older woman, hair red, eyes as blue as Adora's, utterly gorgeous. Next to her, at what she now saw was the head of a rectangular table, was a man, dark brown hair, artfully groomed beard, sharp eyes. Both of them were dressed in green pajamas, dark red bathrobes, and somehow impeccable. They were older, with the first lines of age around their eyes and a touch of gray in their hair.
There was only two people they could be and yet, Catra tried anyway. "Adam and Teela?"
The woman smiled, the man huffed into his mustache, which apparently was a thing that could be done. "I'm afraid not," the woman said.
"Hi, Mom, hi, Dad," Adora said, joining them and giving them both a hug.
"Hello, Dear," the woman said, "I take it this is Catra?"
"Yeah, she's not really a morning person." Adora bent over, pressing her face into the mane of Catra's hair, curling one arm around and across her chest as she did, giving her something to hold, to ground herself. "Relax," Adora murmured in her ear, "it's no different than your first morning at my place and meeting Razz."
"It kinda is," Catra said, "I mean, at least I'm-" she broke off. Her first time meeting Razz had also been her and Adora's first time together, neither realizing that Razz had gotten back early from a trip. So it had been a complete surprise for Catra, who'd had every intention of going back to Adora with nothing but coffee and a grin, had found herself face to face with the older woman while in the kitchen and naked. "I'm not going into that," she said firmly.
Adora laughed softly. "Should I ask why you're drinking out of Dad's mug?"
Catra looked down at the emerald green mug with "Randor" written on it in gold script. "No," and then, desperate, "good coffee."
"It's from Havenshore," Adora said, "they make whiskey, honey, and honey infused whiskey. Then they take the honey infused whiskey barrels and age coffee beans in them. The beans soak up the flavors." She headed off to where a young woman in livery stood next to a coffee station. The woman poured Adora a cup of coffee, added milk - which was how Adora liked her morning coffee - and handed it to her with a bow.
Catra wasn't sure if she should be envious or . . . something else and instead looked down at the mug as Adora sat next to her with her own cup of coffee. "How come we don't have this in Brightmoon?"
Adora took a sip. "It's expensive to begin with. Glimmer says Micah wants to import it, but the Beekeepers Guild throws a fit whenever it comes up and Perfuma's family hates conflict so they're refusing to get involved."
Catra stared at her. "Micah? As in King Micah? Why is he talking to Glimmer about that?"
Adora stared back. "Because she's his daughter."
"Wait," Catra held up her hand, "Glimmer is Princess Glimmer? As in Crown Princess Glimmer? Why the hell is she hanging out with us?" Catra didn't like the way Adora was looking at her; half quizzical, half disbelief. "Adora?"
"'Cat," Adora said slowly, "with the exception of you, Bow, the Hordak boys and Sea Hawk, we're all princesses."
"All of you?"
"Yes."
"Even Scorpia?"
"Uh-huh."
"Adora, she eats paste. As a 'party trick'."
"Yeah, Mermista and I are confused too."
"Oh Gems," Catra moaned, pulling her knees up to her chest. "I'm an idiot, a college idiot, why am I even in college? How did I get here? How did I get through high school? How am I alive? Who's reminding me to breathe?"
"Someone needs a hug!" A man sang out and for a brief moment, Catra thought Sea Hawk had popped up out of nowhere before she was grabbed from her seat and found her face mashed into a broad chest, arms tight around her.
It was the last straw and she let out a snarl, ears going back, her tail lashing, unsheathing her claws to . . . to . . . the chest was comprised of pair of thick meaty pecs under silk and soft fleece and she could feel that the arms around her were just as broad, and strong and . . . and warm and . . . "This is nice," she said, sheathing her claws and going limp. "Um, good, this is good."
"Let her down, Adam," Adora said, "there's only so long she can hold her breath."
"No one wants to hear about your sex life," Crass grumbled, having apparently joined them.
"Well technically, if she's talking then she’s able to breathe," Adam pointed out. He had a much deeper voice than Sea Hawk and it made his chest vibrate pleasantly.
"I think she's been sufficiently calmed, Sweetheart," Marlena said, which then reminded Catra that she was in a palace, that Adora's parents were here, that they were an actual King and Queen, and that she was in her pajamas, and oh right having a freakin' freak-out what the fuck was wrong with her - Adam's arms tightened.
"Looks like we need just a bit more hugging!" Adam said cheerfully.
"Hi, Adora," said a woman's voice.
"Hi, Teela," Adora said, and there was the sound of fabric on fabric and pleased hums. "Good to see you."
"Same. Is that your girlfriend in Adam's chest?"
"Yeah, that's Catra. The past twenty-four hours have been a lot."
"Tell me about it," Teela laughed.
"Over Magino's Iced Coffees. You're buying."
"Agreed."
"Okay, Adam, let her go," Adora said, "she's sagging like silly putty, I got it from here."
"Sure," Adam said, and just like that, Catra found herself back in her chair watching as a massive wall of man - okay, he was only an inch or so taller than Adora, just broader, grabbed Adora and pulled her into a hug. "Missed ya at the wedding."
"Well that's what happens when you decide to just go and get married, dumbass," Adora shot back, slapping him lightly on one arm as she hugged him back. "Jeez, next time you and Teela want to elope, at least come to Brightmoon."
Adam looked at Teela. "That would annoy the traditionalists," he said thoughtfully and then brightened. "Ooh! What if we eloped to every nation in the world! That would really piss them off!" Now that he was properly visible, Adam was a golden haired blond with Adora's eyes set into a broad face with a jaw and chin like a bulldozer and a cheerful demeanor. He reminded Catra of Scorpia, a thought followed by another thought that Scorpia and Adam could never be allowed to meet. She wasn't sure what would happen if they did, but that level of cheer and muscle would probably be disastrous.
Teela, a gorgeous and statuesque redhead, appeared to be seriously considering it. Both she and Adam were impeccable in matching maroon pajamas and green robes, and like Randor and Marlena, somehow neat with good hair despite it being who knew what early. In contrast, Crass, sitting on the other side of the table next to Marlena favored the same kind of sleepwear as Catra; tank top, shorts, her hair had been pushed out of her face and she'd added a ratty looking and unbelted robe.
"You are not," Marlena said, "and like it or not, there will be a proper state wedding this summer with all the pomp and circumstance, and you two will go through with it." She looked at Adora. "You and Crass will both be in the wedding party, and you both will be appearing with the family later today in front of the press. Fortino has an appointment for all of us at eleven." She looked at Catra, "I'm sorry to spring this on you, Catra, but you knew what it meant to date a princess."
"Uh, I didn't," Catra told her. In her peripheral vision, she could see Adora frantically giving her the cutoff gesture, but she was still too frazzled for it to register. "Adora didn't tell me she was a princess until we got here, and hell, you just saw me learn that more than half my friends are frickin' princesses, and one of them is the damn Crown Princess of Etheria! So no, I didn't know this, or that, or any damn thing and I have a shit ton of questions already and the list just keeps getting longer!"
Marlena set down her coffee cup, her mouth a thin, tight line. "Adora. Isabella. Miros."
"Gonna do my morning run! Love you, Cat!" Adora yelped and beat a hasty retreat.
Marlena sighed. "Adam, Crass, go get your sister."
Adam and Crass' faces lit up in broad smiles. "VE HUNT!" they chorused and took off after Adora, Crass doing a standing vault over the table (revealing that she was wearing bunny slippers), and Catra watching them go in disbelief.
A tap on her arm made her turn to see Randor, looking at her over his coffee mug. "Don't think about it, just drink coffee," he told her wearily, "just . . . just drink coffee and wait for it to run its course."
It was good advice and Catra took it as Teela sat next to her with a mug of herbal tea.
Distantly, she heard Adora's outraged screech.
She drank more coffee.
It really was some damn good coffee.
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The Royal Stylist, Fortino, was a fussy, thin man, shorter than Catra and made up for it with a forceful personality and the apparent belief that anyone who came through his studio was his to dress and style as he pleased. It had led to Catra nearly clawing his face off when he'd tried to put her in a gown of dark red, and Adora and Crass had had to physically hold her back while Marlena and Teela talked him down, brokering an agreement that put her in a black suit (not really her color), and license to do her hair as he wished within reason.
"Damn," Catra whispered in amazement as she looked in the mirror. The suit might not be her color, but it was cut to fit her precisely, highlighting the leanness of her body and adding breadth to her shoulders. Her hair and fur had been infused with various products that probably cost more than her student loans, but damn if she didn't gleam. Not to mention that her hair, usually little more than a shaggy mane unless she slicked it down and tied it back, had been trimmed, fluffed, and combed before being tied back. She looked amazing, but then the curtains leading to the dressing area opened and Catra had to sit down because the alternative was to push Adora back into the dressing area and have her way with her.
Adora was clad in a military uniform of dark green, with a crisp white shirt with tabs on the collar, and a black tie as crisp as her shirt. Her hair had been returned to its blonde color then brushed ruthlessly back and then tied up in a bun at the back of her head. The uniform itself was precisely tailored to her body, with the Seal of Eternia on one shoulder and the Royal House's symbol on the other. Her cuffs were marked with a double band of gold, and the creases of the uniform were razor sharp. Her feet were in shoes of the deepest black that seemed to almost drink in light. Across her chest was a silver sash and instead of contact lenses or her wire frame half-rims, she wore glasses made of a thick, glossy, slightly translucent plastic with lenses that were subtlety tinted, just enough to change the shade of her eyes and alter the shape of her face when combined with makeup. Under one arm, she carried a cap with some sort of silver badge on it. There was a row of colored rectangles across her chest and a couple of other emblems that Catra honestly had no hope in recognizing.
All in all, Adora Miros bore only a passing resemblance to Adora Glen, especially in that delicious, very fitting uniform.
Catra stuck her hands under her thighs and thought unsexy thoughts.
"You okay?" Andra asked, sitting down next to her. Like Catra, she was in a black suit, but her hair was in a series of tight braids that had been put up into an equally tight bun on the back of her head. Since Catra and Adora appearing together in public would expose Adora Glen, the plan was to have Catra up on a walkway with Andra. If anyone saw them up there, it would be assumed that they were security and the gantry was high enough that with the lights on, the Royal Family on stage, and Princess Adora making a rare appearance, the fact that she was an Etherian Felinoid should escape notice. This way, Adora would know Catra was there, even if she couldn't see her, and Catra was at her side, at least in some form.
"Apparently, women in uniform is a thing for me," Catra said.
"The struggle is real," Andra agreed.
The curtain opened again, revealing Crass. Her hair had been combed out and then slicked back against her skull, with subtle makeup to draw attention away from her nose. Like Adora, she wore a green military uniform, but hers had different tabs on the collar, and medals and emblems on her chest under a row of colored rectangles. Three gold bands were on her cuffs, and instead of seals, hers had badged emblems. The hat under her arm also had a different emblem. A sash of Bronze was across her chest.
Marlena and Teela then emerged together, dressed identically save for the fact that Marlena's uniform was a deep blue and the single gold band on her cuffs glittered. Teela's uniform was still green, but there was a gold band on her cuffs and her chest had a lot more decoration than Crass'. Similar to Adora, both women's hair had been slicked back and tied up in a bun. Both wore gold sashes, but Marlena's glittered.
"Fucking Monkey Suit," Crass grumbled, reaching up towards her tie, only to freeze as Fortino was suddenly there at her elbow, glaring until Crass lowered her hand.
"My finest work to date," he said, "even with limitations," he added, glaring at Catra. "Still, you will suffice for a public showing."
"Thank you, Fortino," Marlena said, "you may begin preparing for the wedding. I promise Teela and Crass will be here for their fittings. Adora will be away from the palace until summer, but then you will have two weeks, more than enough for someone of your level and skill." It was clearly judicious and heavy handed flattery but Fortino preened and he and his minions bowed them out of the studio.
In the hallway, Adam and Randor waited for them. Both wore uniforms similar to Adora, though Randor's sash and cuff bands both glittered. With them was a man who was somehow broader in the shoulders than Adam, who's green uniform literally dripped with medals. He wore a bright orange sash and his mustache was a work of art unto itself. He had to be at least as old as Randor and yet he gave the impression that, should it be required, he could lift the entire palace unto his shoulders and walk away with it.
"Hi, Dad!" Teela exclaimed, donning her hat and going over to give him a hug.
"Heya, Unkadunk," Adora said, also giving him a hug.
"Sir," Crass said, saluting, and then she too, gave him a hug.
"Hello, Duncan," Marlena said, "I take it everything is ready?"
"Yes, Your Highness," Duncan said, he turned to Catra and Andra. "Ms Weaver," he said, offering his hand, "I'm Duncan, Eternia's Man-At-Arms. Razz has spoken very highly of you."
"Uh, yeah, nice to meet you."
Duncan turned to Andra, who came to attention. "Sir. If Ms Weaver is seen on stage or in the audience, it might expose Princess Adora's life in Brightmoon. So she will be on the upper perimeter with me. Anyone who sees us will assume we're security."
Duncan nodded. "Very good." He turned back to the group in general. "This way to the anteroom," he told them gesturing, and led the way down the hall, Men and women in green and silver armor formed up around them as they did.
"So like, how does this all work?" Catra asked, "there's gotta be a shit ton of protocol, right? And what's with the uniforms? I thought royal types wore robes and stuff."
"Time enough for protocol later," Andra said, "the uniforms are because military service is expected in the Royal Family. In fact, its demanded. So Crass, for example, is a full sergeant and serving soldier. She can't do field work, but she trains new troops in unarmed combat and artillery. Those three gold bands on her cuffs mean she's the third child. Adora is an engineering grad student, so as a Royal, she holds the rank of Captain, but she's not formally a soldier."
"And the two gold bands mean she's the second child."
"Yup. Adam and Teela are the Crown Prince and Princess Consort, respectively, hence the single gold bands on their cuffs, and Teela is a serving soldier with a full rank of Captain. Now that they're married, she holds the rank of Commander, same as Adam. Duncan and the Queen are Marshals, while the King is Lord Marshal."
"And the glitter on their cuffs is because they're the monarchs," Catra finished. "Why's the Queen's uniform in blue?"
"Your guess is as good as mine," Andra said, voice low. "All I know is, she's a pilot, an astrophysicist, and not from Eternia. I've asked a few times and after the second time, I was dispatched to Gorthinder near the Equator to repair and upgrade some outposts. It's sandwiched between the Vine Jungle and the Dreary Swamp and its not only humid and miserable, they roll up the sidewalks at three in the afternoon. Message received; Stop asking'."
"Yeah," Catra agreed, feeling her tail twitch.
Ahead of them, Adora turned her head, "if it makes you feel better, we don't know either."
"Not really," Catra said to her.
"Mind on the current crisis, children," Marlena said, "my past isn't that interesting to begin with and the Kingdom must come first."
"It's interesting to us, Mom," Adam said, "its you."
"That's sweet, Adam, but its not a story I want to go into, and I prefer to look forward instead of back." Her voice hardened. "And you and Teela are not in the best graces right now."
"Don't, Teela," Duncan said, as Teela squared her shoulders, "any of you." He added in a tone that seemed harder than rock or steel and Catra found herself wanting to back down even though he hadn't been talking to her.
"Yikes," Catra said.
"That's why he's Man-At-Arms," Andra said, as they came to a door.
"Right," Duncan said as they stopped, "Tuvar, Baddrah."
Two of the guards came to attention. One had blue skin, the other purple, albeit much darker than Crass'. "Sir," they chorused.
Duncan gestured at Catra. "Ms Weaver is the personal guest of Princess Adora. She, along with Lieutenant Andra, will be on the overlook. Your job is to keep the press away from her. I will be holding you both personally and jointly responsible if there is so much as a blurry photo." He turned to Crass. "Sergeant, you will, on every level, comport yourself with the class and dignity expected from someone in your position, or, by all the Gods, not only will you be demoted to Lance Corporal, but I will have you transferred to Outland to instruct Basic Rifle Marksmanship for the next ten years, do I make myself clear?"
Crass was pale, eyes wide. "Yes, Sir!"
With that, the Family was ushered into the room, two guards were posted, and the others moved off, leaving Catra and Andra alone with the other two.
"I take it all that . . . is bad?" Catra asked.
"You mean Outland? Yep." Andra led the way down the hall, the other two falling into place behind them.
"The worst, really," said one of the guards.
"Still have nightmares about being back there under the Ol' Sarge."
"Oooh, you guys had Ol' Sarge?" Andra asked, visibly wincing.
"We did, Sir. All six feet tall-"
"Seven feet wide-"
"And breath like month old stale bread," Andra finished and all three laughed.
"Okay, which of you is which?" Catra said, "because I'm about ready to just start calling you both Tubad."
"I'm Tuvar," said the blue one.
"Baddrah, said the purple one.
"Right. Nice to meet you. So Outland bad."
"Strictly speaking, its Landen Base," Andra explained. That's where all new cadets are sent first. But its divided up into two sections. Inland is a temperate grassland. Outland is at a higher elevation and its miserable there. Too cold in the winter, too hot in the summer, spring is when the Pepos plants unleash spores so you're coughing and sneezing, and Fall is the rainy season. Its also where you get sent to for Basic. All the marching and running, classes, stuff like that."
"And the basic rifle thing? Seems like you want to really practice on that." Catra was actually a decent shot, but the Grand Competition didn't really cover it except in the winter and anyway, Sea Hawk was the best shot the team had.
"Sure, if it was interesting in any way," Andra told her. "Basic Rifle Marksmanship consists of a row of cadets lined up in front of a row of targets. Each cadet is given a rifle that can hold one bullet. Just one bullet. On command from the instructor, they load, aim, fire, eject, drop to one knee, repeat, then on their stomach, repeat, and then stand again and repeat. This is every day, one hundred or more times per day. For. Six. Weeks." There was a twitch in Andra's eye. "And . . . and, if that weren't enough, after week two, if someone fucks up in sequence - loading too early or whatever, the whole class have to run laps, followed by restarting from the beginning, a new hundred count, and there can be more than one, which means it can sometimes take the whole damn day, and by nightfall, the instructor is hoarse, everyone is pissed off, and shortly after that, the fuckups are being dragged behind the motor pool to get their asses kicked."
Catra stared at her. Eternian basic sounded . . . awful.
"What about you?" Andra asked, "you do any military stuff? You kinda got the bearing."
Catra shrugged. "Kinda. My Aunt is ex-Brightmoon Legion so she didn't raise me so much as put me through two decades or so of PT. Every weekend and summer, running, forest camping, rock climbing, hand to hand, you name it. If I didn't give it my all, she handed out more PT. By the time I got to University, I was a hypercompetitive mess who got twitchy if I didn't spend at least three hours a day in the gym. Not to mention, struggling with dating. So when I was offered a chance to try out for the school's Grand Competition team, I took it. Got a spot, met Adora."
"What's the Grand Competition?" Baddrah asked.
"Basically, your team is sent to an event," Andra answered, "it's not until you get there that you learn just what sport you'll be playing for the day. Since most sports boil down to rules and tools, there's plenty of overlap. For some sports, like Judka or Equestrian, you have to have specialists, but for the most part, you're expected to be able to hit the ground running."
"Its heavy crosstraining," Catra agreed, "and you have to keep up your grades too. So I'm this hypercompetitive mess, Adora is an overachiever who refuses to back down from a challenge, and turns out, we were the only two who could keep up with each other and we both hate it. Finally, the team got sick of our shit and locked us in a room. After a lot of yelling, we actually got to talking. Turns out, we had a lot in common."
"And you really had no idea she was a princess?" Andra asked.
"Don't laugh," Catra grumbled, "most of my friends are apparently royalty too, and how the hell they can all be Princesses when its a freakin' kingdom?"
"Oh Etheria is an alliance of principality," said Tuvar.
"United under a federated constitutional monarchy," added Baddrah.
Tuvar continued. "Subject entities still utilize royal titles and maintain their internal sovereignty in most cases despite being subject to the central monarchy."
"Which would be great if I knew what any of that meant."
"Aren't you in law school?" Andra asked her.
"Yeah, for business and contracts. Imports and exports, sure, property management, yeah, Civics, I took it three times and the teacher finally told me I'd get a C if I left and never came back."
"Not sure how you can do imports and exports without Civics, but okay," Andra agreed.
"I got an A, so apparently you can," Catra returned as they came to an elevator, which opened at the swipe of a keycard.
"You two get inside the auditorium," Andra told Tuvar and Baddrah, "we're gonna be on the north side, so post up there on the floor and watch for anyone pointing cameras at us. If anyone says something, refer them to Marshal Duncan."
"Yes, Sir!" they chorused and headed off.
"So why does Crass need to be threatened into good behavior?" Catra asked as they got onto the elevator.
"Long story short, there's this nobleman, Count Marzo. He's a power hungry little bastard and he'll do anything for it, or at least the perception of it. But he hasn't quite crossed the line into something exile worthy. When Crass made her public debut, Marzo tried to discredit her by going after Adam at the press conference with some rather carefully chosen words. Crass leapt off the stage and decked him. Which she should not have done."
"But the insult was to her, right? I mean, isn't that the whole dueling for honor thing?"
"Sure, but the insult wasn't directly to her, and she was not of age at the time. More to the point, unless he formally challenged her to a duel, which he did not, responding to insults like that falls to Adam. He's the eldest."
"This royal protocol shit is giving me a headache," Catra grumbled and Andra laughed.
"It gives the actual Royals headaches too, believe me. Anyway, she broke his jaw, shattered one of his cheekbones, and pretty much humiliated his ass, something everyone liked. But it wasn't her place to do it. Anyway, Marzo was dispatched to an outpost near the Dar border by Royal Decree and his lands placed under the stewardship of his cousin, who actually gives a crap." The elevator dinged and they stepped out into a short hallway and another keycard got them through a doorway and out onto a walkway overlooking a large room. In the center was a raised stage, with a podium, and already, people were gathered in front of it, many with cameras. A second raised platform was behind them with larger fixed place cameras.
"Over here," Andra said, and led the way down the walkway to a point where they overlooked the reporters, but could also directly see the podium, albeit from an overhead three-quarters perspective. "Parade rest," Andra said.
That one Catra knew, and she clasped her hands behind her back, feet shoulder width. She could (and had) hold this position for hours (thanks, Auntie!).
"Oh, I see," Andra muttered, and pointed at one of the people near the front of the stage. "Marzo."
Marzo was a tall man, golden skin tanned by time in the sun, long black hair, and impeccably dressed. His short goatee was as impeccable as his clothing, and he could have been considered good looking were it not for the fact that he only had one visible cheekbone, his mouth was . . . lopsided, and the sheer arrogance that dripped from every fiber of his being.
"Didn't you say he was exiled?"
"Officially exiled, no. Should be smart enough to take the hint, yes."
"Revenge?"
"Or a masochist."
"Could be both."
"Could be."
Over the next thirty minutes or so, more people filed in, filling up the space in front of the stage, some were in suits, others in various kinds of finery. Finally, the doors at either end of the room opened and soldiers in red and silver armor marched in. Each carried a polearm topped with some kind of blade in one hand and a long, oblong shield in the other. The helmets were open faced, but with heavy nosepieces that cast the face in shadow and each guard was more or less the same height as their fellows. The blades of the polearms gleamed, as did the shields and as heavy and impressive as the armor looked, Catra was pretty sure it was functional as fuck.
The soldiers moved with heavy, precise steps, coming around to line up in front of the stage, and then as one, they turned, slamming the polearms down onto the floor, the bottom of the shields hit the floor, turning to face the audience and the polearms stood tall and straight.
On the stage, two more soldiers, one on either side, climbed the stage and they too, planting the polearms and shields before a young man in full ceremonial livery ascended the stairs and unrolled a scroll, an actual fucking scroll.
A bell clanged three times.
"Citizens and Guests of Eternia, presenting their Royal Highnesses, King Randor and Queen Consort Marlena!"
Randor and Marlena entered the room, arm in arm.
"Their Highnesses Crown Prince Adam and Princess Consort Teela!" Now Adam and Teela entered, arm in arm, faces dead serious.
"Have a little pageantry," Catra muttered. Andra laughed.
The young man continued. "Their Excellencies Princess Adora and Princess Kel'Min'd'or!"
Now Adora entered, side by side with Crass, both moved in time with the rest of the family.
"His Grace Marshal Duncan, Man-At-Arms of Eternia!"
Duncan entered, taking the spot next to Randor and in unison, everyone on the stage shifted to parade rest.
Dang.
Adam and Teela stepped forward and Adam removed his hat, laying it on the podium, the brim facing outwards.
"We will keep this short and simple," he said. His voice was different and took Catra a moment to realize how. It was a different tone, each word was precise, and there was a sort of accent to it. Adora had occasionally lapsed into something similar when speaking to reporters during post competition interviews, though she'd always caught herself and switched back. "Two days ago, Teela and I publicly married and did so simply. There are those who will say that we defied centuries of tradition and standing and in doing so, invalidated the marriage."
Teela laid her hat next to Adam's. "Marriage is a commitment, it is two people agreeing to commit to each other, something that Adam and I did years ago and it simply took us this long to realize that. We did, and took that final step." She spoke like an officer giving a speech. Not quite with Adam's precise enunciation or accent, but still clear. "While there will be a wedding this summer, It will only be a ceremony and a celebration. For us, the most important part has already happened, the rest is sharing our joy with you, the people."
Every camera and reporter in the room swung towards Adora.
"Princess Adora! You arrived with a companion, what can you tell us about her?"
"Are you dating her?"
"Is it true that you have already married and are introducing her to your family?"
"In the past, you've only been seen in public two weeks out of every summer. Why?"
"Yes," Marzo said, and instantly, the reporters swung their attention to Marzo. However, Catra, being high up, saw Randor's eyes swing towards one of the men in finery, who smirked at him and the King's eyes narrowed dangerously. "Just where have you been, your highness?" Marzo continued, "in fact, given the rules of conduct laid down by King Yanos, you must understand that there are those who might think that your status as a member of the Royal Family is . . . questionable."
Marlena's arm snapped out to press against Crass as she started forward even as Adam and Adora exchanged looks. There was the slightest jerk of her head, and then Adam and Teela took their hats and stepped away from the podium.
With extremely deliberate steps, Adora moved to the podium and set her hat on it. Then she moved down the stage until she was standing opposite Marzo. At her feet, the guard stepped away, and the two on the either side of the gap turned to face each other, offering a clear opening.
For a moment, Adora stood there, staring down at Marzo, hands behind her back, a very Mermista "I do not have time for this or you" expression on her face.
"Mister Marzo," she said in the same tone and accent as Adam and Catra's knees went weak because between that, the uniform and the glasses, Adora was possibly the hottest, sexiest, thing Catra had ever seen and she would do anything asked of her. "I do understand that, and I cannot, regrettably answer that other than I am completing my education and will be returning permanently to Eternos to take up my duties as a member of the Royal Engineering Corps. As for my companion, 'my companion' is the only thing I will say."
"And what do you say to the fact that sources whisper that you are under a technical exile by order of your grandfather, King Minos and that your very presence here is in violation of that."
"I could ask you the same question," Adora said, "as you were assigned to the Dar Outpost following your last public appearance and your lands placed in Stewardship. You claim sources say I'm an exile, yours is all but official, meaning you have even less standing to be in Eternos, much less this room, than Keldor." She tilted her head. "You do remember your old friend Keldor, don't you?"
"Keldor's exile was the result of his own actions," Marzo said, but his shoulders were stiff and his hands had curled into fists.
"So it was," Adora said easily, "and yet, there are sources that claim he had help and it is most curious that Colonel Baru, your cousin, I believe, took early retirement due to 'health issues' shortly after Keldor's exile and then passed away. Would you care to comment on the timing of that? No? Then you will understand that I will not be commenting on my whereabouts or my companion until the time is right." She turned on her heel and strode back to the podium where she retrieved her hat, and then resumed her place in line. The bell clanged three times and the family turned and marched off the stage.
Down below, the reporters were now swarming Marzo and the man in livery who had been smirking was now looking very annoyed.
"Should I say damn?" Catra asked.
"Oh Yeah."
"Damn."
--------------------------------
There would be a formal family dinner at seven, but until then, they had been given time to themselves.
Catra slammed the door to the room shut, hit the lock and turned to Adora, heat in her gaze.
"I will do anything you want right now so long as you tell me to do it in that whatever it was accent and you are wearing that uniform."
For a moment, Adora stared at her, confused, as Catra's words processed, and then she smiled like a shark that had found dinner, eyes bright.
"Is that so, my girl?" She said in that accent and it did wonderful, glorious things to Catra's insides. She ran her finger along the underside of Catra's chin. "You look so . . . tasty in that suit."
"Please," Catra almost begged. They'd played around with light dommeing before, but this felt, different, it was different. This was a kink they would have to unpack later, but right now, Catra was full of heat and need. "Please, Miss."
"And you'll do anything?" Adora asked, her smile even more sharklike.
"Yes, Miss."
Adora sat on the bed, one leg crossed over the other. "Then start by taking off that suit - slowly."
Catra slowly removed the jacket, but as she went to drop it on the floor, Adora shook her head.
"No," she said, "hang it up." Then in her normal voice, "seriously, Cat, Fortino is a lunatic. He once went off on Dad for a speck of dust. We need hangers." She got up and went to the closet.
"And mood gone," Catra said.
"Sorry," Adora said, "he may be a damn genius, but he's also insane. You did notice that Mom literally had to order him to put you in a suit despite the face clawing?" She pulled out a pair of garment bags in Royal Blue.
"Is he gonna try again for the wedding?" Catra asked, laying the jacket on the bed.
"I don't know," Adora said with a sigh, abruptly sitting on the bed, face in her hands. "This is kinda of why I don't talk about Eternia. All these rules, and protocols, and all because of fucking Yanos."
"You said you were in Etheria because of your grandfather's fuckery," Catra said carefully.
"And I promised to explain that," Adora said with a sigh. She patted the spot on the bed next to her and Catra sat. "Long story short, about three, four hundred years ago, the throne went to the last man - or woman, standing. Usually this was the firstborn legitimate child, but not always. 'The throne goes to the one who can keep it', that was the rule. So generally, the first thing the new King would do is take out all possible rivals unless they had a reason to spare them."
"And the possibles, knowing this, would be trying to take them out first."
"Exactly, its not taking the throne, its whether or not you can keep it," Adora agreed, "and since the monarchs all slung it around, there was always a pool of candidates, not to mention the nobles looking for their shot. So, that was the situation. The King at the time, Miros, had three sons. Adal, Barne, Josef, and then there was his brother Yanos, who was illegitimate, but also a general who was popular with his troops and had done more to hold and enforce the Triangle than any of his predecessors and Miros might not have been the sharpest crayon in the box, but he was smart enough to know that." She paused. "The Triangle is where Eternia's border intersects with Adreena and Avion, and they've been at each other's throats for ages. Eternia absolutely can't take sides, but we can't risk their conflict spilling over to us either. No one can." She took a deep breath. "So anyway, that's where things stood. Then, Miros, Adal, and Barne went on a hunting retreat, leaving Josef, a scholarly type with no interest in the throne, in charge."
"And then Josef was suddenly king?"
"That would be simpler, but no. The moment Josef heard that his father and brothers had been killed by raging Olyphants, he abdicated the throne and fucked off to his mother's family estate in Havenshore to spend the rest of his life keeping bees and reading his books. So the nobles immediately began discussing each other's qualifications for leadership. It got very messy at that point and when Yanos heard that Josef had abdicated, he was enraged at what he saw as cowardice and dereliction of duty. He took his troops and marched on Eternos then Havenshore, intent on dragging Josef back to the throne and making him do his duty. Accounts from that time are lost or hazy, but apparently there was a screaming match between them and then Yanos claimed the throne with Josef as his advisor.
"Once on the throne, Yanos set out to correct what he saw as flaws governing succession and conduct within the monarchy. A succession crisis should not disrupt the kingdom or its functions, and in fact, the Royal Family was in service to the Kingdom at all times. So, all members of the Family were required to be part of the military or Civil Service. Next was that only legitimate members of the family and their descendants would ever have any legal claim to the throne. Illegitimate children and their bloodlines were rendered null and void. So even if something like this happened again, there could be no claim to the throne that was not from a legitimate child. No matter how long it had been. Illegitimate children were permitted to take roles in the government or military, but they would be doing so as Counts at best."
"Jeez, and the nobles accepted this?"
"He didn't give them a choice," Adora said with a grimace. "In any case, if you were a Royal, legitimate or not, and you committed a crime against the Kingdom, or any crime really, that's it. You're out of the Kingdom, so is your family and if you or your descendants try to re-enter, its the old short drop and sudden stop and if anyone in the Royals tries to contact you or doesn't report that you tried to contact them, they're out. Exiled."
Catra stared. "Was he insane?"
"Probably a little bit, and yes, people tried to stop him, but like I said, he was enraged and determined and he had complete control of the military at this point. Most historians agree that things could have been worse were it not for Josef patiently talking him around to a more balanced government. Eventually, they came up with what amounted to a constitutional monarchy where the King is held in check but also has specific powers, duties and responsibilities without descending into tyranny if things ever went to hell again. Then he, his kids, and grandkids spent the rest of their lives ramming the whole thing down people's throats until it took hold."
"So then what was all that you being an exile stuff?"
My grandfather, Minos, was the third-born son. No one really expected much from him, even him, and in fact he was being groomed for an inconsequential role in government. But he was also absolutely amazed to discover that being third-born didn't seem to stop women from wanting to sleep with him. In fact, they sought him out to sleep with him and that was the best thing ever."
"Oh Gems, father and older brothers got killed, didn't they?"
Father and older sisters, but yeah. It was supposed to be an international conference to try and settle the whole Sky War - Avion and Adreena - once and for all, but some terrorist, no one knows who, managed to get a fertilizer bomb next to the site. Boom. Great Grandpa, Great Grandma, both sisters, their families, the works. Something like five hundred people died and any chance of a treaty went into the toilet. Mom and Dad have been trying to get them back to the table, and it helps that the King of Avion, Stratos, and Dad are friends, and the current Andreanen Queen and her senior general studied with Uncle Duncan at this military academy, but like I said, both kingdoms have been at each other's throats for centuries and the bomb thing still has everyone on edge.
"So in any case, Minos was on sterility treatments and the Man-At-Arms back them brokered a deal that had Minos marry the younger daughter of a noble family who had similar appetites and plenty of ambition. They had two kids, and from what Dad says, Minos did try to be a good king and even succeeded, but . . . Uncle Keldor is very smart and afflicted with Chronic Backstabbing Disorder.
"Officially, somehow, these religious anarchist nutballs and conspired to get them into the palace and in range of the family. They ran into Duncan first and he's Man-At-Arms for a reason.
"Since they were all dead, Keldor's role wasn't discovered until later, when Mom caught him trying to steal me and or Adam from our cradles. She beat the shit out of him and then dragged him before Minos. Keldor confessed to being behind the fanatics, said that he should be king, and basically unloaded all his anger and resentment in front of the entire Royal Court and then tried to attack Mom, Dad, and Grandpa.
"By law, he was exiled, but having his own son turn on him combined with early onset brain stuff caused Grandpa to conclude that since I was a second child, I too would turn on my family and he wanted me executed. Keep in mind, I was like, six weeks old at this point."
"Holy shit."
"Yeah. Anyway, Mom and Dad talked him down into sending me away instead with supervised visits for two weeks every summer and that's how its been for my whole life. Razz was Dad's tutor and she had connections with the Royal Library in Brightmoon. Since Etheria and Eternia had a good relationship, we went there."
"Isn't one of Bow's dads a historian and the other-"
"A Royal Librarian and cousin to Queen Angella, yep. So Bow, Glimmer, and I basically grew up together, and for two weeks a year I come and spend time with effective strangers and that's been my life. Grandpa died when I was twelve, but I wanted to stay in Etheria. To me, that was, and is, my home."
"Who else knows you're . . . you?"
Well, Bow, Glimmer, Bow's Dads, Angella and Micah, obviously. Beyond that, hard to say. Mermista's implied she knows, and Perfuma's more perceptive than she comes across. Terry's a maybe, but between Entrapta, Larry, and his dad, he's got enough problems without worrying about my identity."
"So then, were you serious earlier, about coming back to Eternia to be a Royal Engineer?"
"Yeah, I don't really have a choice either. For politics and stuff type reasons, I risk actual exile if I 'avoid my duties and obligations' much longer." She took Catra's hands in hers. "But those duties and obligations also mean spit without you. When I come back here, I want you at my side, or I don't come back at all. You've seen my family, you've seen what Eternia is like, I won't blame you for wanting to stay away."
"Adora, don't be stupid, of course I'm coming back with you, if only to get away from Aunt Shadow and have access to Havenshore coffee, but, and don't take this the wrong way, Eternia is royally fucked up."
"You will hear no argument from me or anyone else."
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Andra and Duncan had joined them for dinner, which was a simple affair; a large round piece of bread topped with cheese, tomato sauce, and whatever else you wanted and then baked in an oven until hot and then cut into wedges. It was called pizza and Marlena had brought it with her when she'd come to Eternia. It wasn't going on Catra's list of favorites anytime soon, but it was good.
"So, when are you coming back for good?" Adam asked.
Adora set her drink down and sighed. "Probably this summer. Cat and I just have to turn in our theses and sit our finals. After that, Cat needs to get certified, but she can do that here in Eternia." She paused. "i mean, she can do that here in Eternia, right?"
"I don't see an issue," Marlena said, "oh, I imagine there are those who will impugn her for being Etherian, but from a credentials perspective, I don't think its a problem. In fact, Catra, I would like you to consider a position with the Commerce Ministry and in exchange for a five year contract, we are prepared to pay off your student loans as a signing bonus."
"Mom," Adora said warningly.
"Well, I admit I have an ulterior motive aside from your happiness, Dear."
"Of course," Adam sighed dramatically.
"Don't be a cynic, Adam," Marlena told him, "you haven't been in politics or academia long enough to get dramatic." She turned back to Catra. "Havenshore has been lobbying the throne to open exporting their products to Etheria and you have a personal relationship with Princess Perfuma of Plumeria. I'm hoping you can convince her, and by extension, her family, to start the trade negotiations, which you will have a part in."
"Mom, Micah's been trying to get it imported for years," Adora pointed out, "they simply don't want to get between the Etherian Beekeeper's Guild and Angella. It's the Guild who's been fighting the imports tooth and nail, not Angella or Perfuma's family."
Marlena huffed.
"Mom, its not fair to ask Catra to use her relationship with Perfuma to open trade negotiations," Adam said.
"Well nothing else is working, and frankly, if I have to endure Governor Helburn smarmily point out how its the Crown's duty to 'explore all trade avenues' one more time, I will not be responsible for my actions." Marlena sipped her drink.
"Can we please not talk politics or trade at the dinner table?" Adora asked, almost plaintively.
"This is not a time and place discussion, Adora," Randor said, "we cannot simply set aside those things because its inconvenient and-"
Marlena had set her hand on his arm. "You are right, Dear," she said, "but the offer was made, and the reasons why it was made were given. The next step is Catra's."
"I wanna punch Helburn in the face," Crass spoke up.
"You want to punch everyone in the face," Teela told her.
"And?"
Under the table, Catra squeezed Adora's hand in a very specific rhythm. She wanted to go home.
Adora looked at her and nodded before turning to the rest of the table. "I think we're gonna head back tomorrow. We still have our theses to write and Catra and I need to talk. About a lot of things."
Adam looked disappointed, but he smiled. "No, I get it. We're a lot."
That got a bark of derisive laughter from Crass. "You're understating it, bro. She hasn't even met Cringer and -"
"Crass," Marlena said sharply and Crass's mouth shut with an audible click.
Adora's confused expression showed that she didn't know what Crass meant, but she didn't pursue it, instead, pinching her nose with one hand, the signet ring flashing in the lamplight. "Oh yeah. Mom, Duncan, before we go, can I talk to you about something? Down in the workshop?"
"Of course, Dear," Marlena said, "since you're leaving tomorrow, would you like to do it now?"
Adora hesitated and then nodded. "Yeah."
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The workshop was big. Easily the size of a large auditorium, it was filled with all sorts of machines, tools, and tables. A large white plane, the nose crunched up, sat in the corner, unfamiliar writing and some sort of red white and blue flag on the side under the cockpit. On a nearby shelf, a white helmet with the same kind of writing was next to a large floppy yellow hat. For some reason, Catra felt like she was being watched.
In the center of the room was a circular space with a couple of lab stools and Marlena sat on one while Duncan leaned against a counter.
"What's on your mind, Adora?" Marlena asked.
"So, um . . . okay, so you see these rings?" Adora held out her hands.
"Yes, I was wondering about that as you don't wear jewelry," Marlena said, "not even your championship ones."
"Yeah, and that's the thing, I can't take them off." Adora tugged at the ring on her left hand, but it didn't move. "It's not like they're stuck to my skin, more like they're perfectly sized to my fingers. Not tight enough to restrict blood flow, but too tight to move and we tried."
"Half a tub of shortening," Catra added.
Duncan and Marlena leaned forward, eyes bright with interest.
"So, Catra and I went into this alleyway to - not important."
"All data points are important, Adora," Duncan said.
Marlena smiled, taking in their faces, which were just a bit bashful. "Not this one, Duncan," she said kindly. "That they were in an alleyway is enough, I think."
"It’s not," Duncan insisted.
"Duncan, where were Randor and I when you found out we were together?"
"Ah."
"Yes," Marlena said, "ah. Go on, Adora."
"So yeah, we're in an alley and this old lady just turns up out of nowhere, grabs my hands, slips the rings on, and then just vanishes."
"Did she say anything?" Marlena asked, "do anything else?"
"Yeah, see, the rings do . . . here, I'll just show you." Adora stepped away and curled her hands into fists, and then brought the rings together. "Thing Ring, Do Your Thing."
The very air flashed, rocks seeming to materialize as they flew at Adora, the air flashing again, almost blinding and when they could see again, Adora was gone, replaced by an eight foot tall, well . . . thing. The skin was made of bright orange rocks, covering a massive body that in turn was covered by a bright blue singlet with the number four in a white circle. Only the fact that the waist was slightly narrower than the rest of the torso gave any indicator that it was female save for the fact that it had Adora's eyes.
Duncan and Marlena's mouths were open.
"So yeah, any ideas?" Adora asked, her voice gravely and rough. Catra's superior hearing let her catch Adora's voice under the roughness.
Marlena and Duncan were still staring.
"Uh, guys? Mom? Unkadunk?"
Finally, Marlena spoke in a shocked whisper.
"Grandpa Ben?"
----------------------------
NOTES:
The Thing Animated Series, 1979
Piper and the crew of The Condor are from Storm Hawks. Just think of Atmos as another nation on the planet.
I admit, Adam's chest being calming was inspired by Questionable Content. Specifically, strip 4107
Hope you enjoyed!