Chapter Text
Pomni lay in an unfamiliar four-poster bed, in an unfamiliar room, staring up at an unfamiliar ceiling.
It had been barely half a day since Pomni’s life had changed forever.
One moment, she’d been exploring some old office building.
The next, she was here, in an colorful wonderland that looked like an old edutainment game for kids and one of those Eye Spy books had an eye-searing baby.
The office building had been one of those old places that was tucked somewhere in a forgotten corner of town, shuttered since the 90’s, weeds growing from cracks in the parking lot. She’d been slowly wandering the derelict halls, quietly narrating the snippet she’d read about the place to her phone’s camera.
She’d found the old computer, somehow the only thing in this place still powered on.
On the desk next to it…an evil, evil thing disguised as an ancient VR headset.
She’d put the thing on just as a goof, intending to ask her nonexistent audience how she looked, maybe make some robot noises-
-and she’d stumbled right into a deranged stage production of a pack of cartoon characters.
The hour that had followed had passed in a blur. A gently apologetic welcome, a rundown on what this place was and how it worked by a deranged homunculus that called himself Caine, never stopped shouting, and was constantly chewing on his own eyeballs.
There had been running and Gloinks and giant black eyeball monsters-oh-my.
And once it was all done, Pomni and the others had been plopped down at a long table filled with digital food that tasted…
...it tasted. Not really that bad or good, but it sure tasted.
On one side, an anxious porcelain mask over a walking pile of ribbons. On the other side, a tall, skinny purple rabbit with yellow eyes and a smile like talking through clenched teeth.
You’d be forgiven for not remembering that, oh yeah, tiny detail, one of their number had Abstracted just a little while ago. Pomni still wasn’t quite sure what that meant, beyond Ragatha’s nervous rundown on how it was what happened when you “reached your breaking point.”
One of their friends was dead. And they were just…eating dinner.
Pomni had spent the meal trying not to cry, laugh, or go crazy, and she still wasn’t entirely sure she’d avoided that last one.
After dinner, she’d silently excused herself to her new two-toned bedroom, dimly aware that she was in shock. She’d clambered up onto this massive four-poster bed, feeling like a child visiting her grandmother’s bedroom. Even the room matched the aesthetic of her assigned outfit, the reds and blues seeming to have been latched to anything and everything she…she owned everything in here, now, she supposed.
Pomni shuffled back on her bed, leaning back against her pillows as she wrapped her gloved hands around her own elbows. Was that a bad sign? Was she going crazy? Had she gone crazy?
Maybe she’d wake up in the morning on the ratty grey carpeted floor of that office building after having had a…an episode from low blood sugar or something, and passed out.
Maybe she’d wake up at home, in her comfy, familiar bed, having had a bonkers dream she’d forget about fifteen minutes later.
Maybe she’d still be here.
Maybe she wouldn’t wake up at all.
A low shuffling sound from her left made Pomni sit up straight, like a frightened mouse hearing a cat, her eyes wide and frantic as she glanced around.
A folded piece of paper was being slid under her door. It caught on her new room’s rug, crumpled a little, before finally being pushed the rest of the way in.
The muffled sound of footsteps on the hall’s carpet could just barely be heard, softly padding away.
Pomni stared at the piece of paper, her heart in her throat as if it were a snake waiting to strike.
Eventually, after several long, silent minutes with her eyes locked on it, she slowly forced herself to slide to the side, off of her bed, to stand on the floor.
Part of her wanted to just ignore the thing and go back to staring up at her ceiling with dead, hopeless eyes and a sunken feeling in her chest.
Still. Maybe it was something important.
Or maybe this was some new horror this place was gonna slap her with.
Pomni bent forward, snagging the crimped part of the paper with one fingertip, pinching it between two fingers, before raising it, unfolding it with her thumb, reading the words written in green pen ink.
Hey there. I know it’s been a long day, but I know you’re probably not sleeping yet. No one does, their first night. I sure didn’t.
If you want some company, I’ll be hanging out in the café. Just go up the big spiral stairs in the main area.
No name was signed, but the simple doodle shaped like a rabbit’s head at the bottom of the page made it obvious who had slid this note under her door.
A small, frightened thing in Pomni’s chest whined in anxious frustration.
Why were the nutbars who had all just rolled over and accepted life here, who wouldn’t even look for a way out, trying to be buddies with her?
If she Abstracted tomorrow, it’s not like any of them would bat an eye, considering their collective reaction when Kaufmo, or whatever his name was, had gone.
It would be as if she’d never been here at all.
Pomni stared at the letter for a long, long time, leaning back against the side of her bed.
After who knew how much time had passed- maybe it was minutes, maybe it was a thousand years- Pomni sighed, placed the folded paper on her red-and-blue bedspread, and headed for the door.
She glanced around nervously as she stepped into the hallway outside the bedrooms. The overhead lights were dimmed, casting the hall in shadow. It reminded her of the hall outside her dorm room, back during her college years before she’d dropped out.
She’d been just as anxious leaving that room in the middle of the night too, as if she were a child sneaking out after curfew.
Still, there clearly wasn’t any curfew here in the circus, judging by the distinct lack of alarm bells that went off as she stepped one blue shoe onto the hall carpet.
She glanced to her left, toward just before the hall turned, where she’d stood outside Kaufmo’s room and seen what he’d become, after succumbing to his breaking point.
Across the hall from her room, a door plate with the grinning face of a purple rabbit stared back at her. To the right of that one, a gently smiling ragdoll.
Pomni slowly crept up the hall, her eyes sliding between the various door plates.
So many faces, so many more than she’d met when she arrived.
So many red X’s over each of them.
She could guess what that meant.
Pomni, paused, before turning around, quickly doubling back down the hall.
She glanced at her own door as she passed it, her eyes sliding ahead to-
Yep.
Kaufmo’s face had a similar red X over it already. It matched all the other ones she’d passed, like the worm-on-a-string, or the rat-looking one, or the frog just to the right of Kaufmo’s door.
Was it automatic, when Caine sent an Abstracted person to the Cellar? Or did Bubble come by with a red marker when no one was looking?
So many people, chewed up and spat out by this place.
Pomni sighed, before turning back again, heading back up the hall.
A quick walk placed her back on the second-floor balcony overlooking the main area. The colorful blocky wall Kaufmo had thundered through earlier had already been repaired, likely by the snap of Caine’s fingers.
Almost like it had never happened at all.
It felt spooky, walking along this balcony overlooking such a big, darkened area so late at night.
Pomni trailed one gloved hand along the thick waist-high wall, her shoes echoing softly in the huge, empty space.
The big spiral stairs mentioned in the note came into view quickly, leading up and around the thick, massive pillar in the center of the so-called tent, up to a smaller tent about the size of a house at the top of the pillar.
The small windows at the front of the smaller tent were illuminated by the lights on inside. Someone was up there, alright.
Pomni had half expected to tire quickly, as she ascended the many stairs, but she found herself making surprisingly decent time with minimal panting or gasping for breath.
Benefit of digital lungs, I guess, a manic part of her mind chimed in, and she forced down the urge to giggle shrilly.
The gentle clink of a china mug against a counter met Pomni’s ears as she reached the top, a walk around a smaller balcony leading to the entrance of a small, round room.
Café Cirque, read the neat brown plaque on the wall by the open doorway.
The walls were covered by abstract, 3D art that reminded her of the kind you saw in old tech magazines or textbooks. In one, a triangular monolith reached up from a bottomless void toward an upside-down field of pixelated green grass. In another, what appeared to be a giant version of one of those clacky abacus toys you saw in the lobby of doctors offices stretched over a deep cavern full of magma.
Plush red couches and chairs were clustered along one wall, while a counter stretched across the opposite side of the room. It was honestly fairly comfy, Pomni had to admit.
Two long, purple ears sat atop the head of the slim rabbit sitting at the counter, their back facing Pomni.
Pomni wondered if she should just turn around and go back down to her room, maybe stare at the ceiling some more and pretend she was going to ever sleep again.
Eventually, she hesitantly raised one hand, rapping her knuckles on the entranceway. “Uh…knock knock?”
As the rabbit spun on the occupied bar stool, Pomni’s eyes were drawn to the pink bow perched beneath her left ear, a splash of color in her dark, messy hair.
Lily raised a round green mug in a welcome toast, a crooked smile on her face. “Heya, newbie.” She crossed one leg over the other, one round purple footpaw resting on her knee.
Pomni waved hesitantly. “…Lily, right?”
“That’s my name, don’t wear it out.” Lily’s smile was…sincere, gentle. It seemed a lot less plastered on than Ragatha’s had been, the entire day.
What was like Ragatha’s were her eyes. Lily’s eyes were…kind.
“Guess you got my invite.”
“Y-yeah…” Pomni glanced around nervously, as if expecting someone or something to pop out of a corner and jump in her face, just like so many other things had today.
“Come on in, pull a chair, I don’t bite.” Lily chuckled, pointing one purple finger at the strange, unopening grid of teeth that made up her mouth. “Not that I could if I wanted to.”
Still waiting for the other shoe to drop, Pomni carefully made her way across the café, climbing into the stool to Lily’s left. She glanced around at the cafe. "I'm gonna have to remember to come back here. This is nice."
Lily slowly spun on her stool again. The long sleeve of the baggy black shirt she wore under her pink overalls rode up over her wrist as she reached over the counter to grasp a piece of paper. “Here, menu.” She handed it over to Pomni, who accepted it from her. Lily raised her mug again. “Hot chocolate ain’t half bad.”
With a sigh, Pomni looked over the menu. “I…wouldn’t say no to the chocolate éclair.” She glanced at Lily. “How do we order-“
With a sha-wa-wing sound, a china plate appeared from nowhere on the counter in front of Pomni, a long éclair sitting on it.
“Ta-da.” Lily waggled her fingers with a grin.
“…Huh.” Pomni picked up the éclair by one end, sniffing it just to be sure, before taking a bite. She hummed softly, the sweet taste of chocolate and cream in her mouth.
“Y’know,” Lily mused, “I could never tell the difference between Boston Cream and Bavarian Cream, way back before I got here? They taste the same.”
“They are.” Off Lily’s questioning look, Pomni offered a small smile. “I had a summer job at a Dunkin Donuts, once.”
“Ouch.”
“But yeah, it’s the same filling in both. One’s chocolate frosted, the other is sugar dusted. That’s all.”
“Huh. That’s disillusioning.”
The two sat in comfortable silence for a few moments. Pomni realized, as she noshed on her éclair, that she was starting to feel…actually fairly comfortable. Lily had a certain…calming aura to her. It was…the first time in the past few hours that Pomni had been able to properly relax, even a little.
Lily took another drag of her cocoa, setting the mug back down with a clunk. As if sensing that Pomni was thinking about her, she glanced back at the jester. “So…dumb question, but I gotta ask it. How’re ya holdin’ up?”
Pomni swallowed roughly, setting the éclair back down on the plate. Her hands sank back down to her lap, aimlessly squeezing each other as she sat silently.
Lily nodded, no judgement on her face. “Yeah…’bout what I figured. Welcome to wonderland.” Lily stared contemplatively into her mug.
Leaving the last piece of pastry on her plate, Pomni glanced over at the purple bunny, lost in thought as she stared into her cocoa.
Unbidden, a memory rose to the surface. Just a few hours ago, when
A storm of emotions flew across Lily’s face as she stared at the thing in Kaufmo’s room.
Shock. Horror. Heartbreak.
Pomni saw them all, and she dimly knew then and there that she’d remember this moment forever.
The purple bunny had been all jokes during the walk here. Nothing cruel, just doing her best to keep Pomni’s arrival lighthearted as the three of them went to check on the absent Kaufmo.
Now she was still knelt in front of the open doorway, her square pupils pinpricks in her wide yellow eyes, her mouth just barely open in dumbstruck horror.
The thing in Kaufmo’s room made a low gurgling noise, a dozen searing, spiraling technicolor eyes staring wildly back at the three of them from a spiky, writhing mass of vantablack.
“Wh-wh-what is that?!!?” Pomni stared wide-eyed up at the thing as it began to drag itself toward the open door.
“Um, well, it…might be that terrible thing I mentioned that happens when you reach your breaking point?” Ragatha stammered, eyes frantically looking back and forth between both of her companions and the thing that had once been Kaufmo.
Lily was suddenly standing again, holding out one long, thin arm between the two of them and the Abstraction. Her mouth was a thin, pursed line, her eyes steely and determined as she placed herself in front of them.
“Go find Caine,” She muttered, suddenly all business. “I’ll distract him.”
Ragatha’s single eye widened with shock. “Wh-what?! Lily-“
“Just go!” Lily snarled over her shoulder, before suddenly clapping her hands loudly, drawing the thing’s attention. “HEY! HEY KAUFEY! OVER HERE, OVER HERE, OVER HERE!”
Pomni felt Ragatha’s plush mitten hand wrap around her elbow, and she stumbled as Ragatha yanked her back up the hallway, away from the doorway as the Abstraction seemed to pour itself through.
“YEAH, THAT’S RIGHT, BIG GUY, THIS WAY!” Lily was still waving her arms, shouting at the Abstraction, making herself as big and loud as she could to get its attention.
The Abstraction’s eyes flickered and trembled wildly in the brightly lit hallway, and it seemed to hiss, before staggering toward Lily.
“TH-THAT’S RIGHT!” Pomni could hear the terrified stammer in Lily’s voice, see the terror in her eyes as she kept up the bait act. “DON’T LOOK AT THEM, LOOK AT ME! COME ON, COME AND GET ME, I KNOW YOU’VE BEEN WANTIN’ TO-“
With a yelp, Lily was grabbed by a writhing, glitching mass, her voice gaining a strained, painful electronic warble as the thing slammed her into the floor once, twice, three times, before flinging her as hard as it could, sending her twitching, glitchy body bouncing off the walls to land in a pained slump on the floor.
After the thing that used to be Kaufmo had fled, Ragatha had stayed with Lily to try and help her the best she could, while Pomni had gone to find Caine.
She’d gotten sidetracked hiding from the Abstraction, ended up stumbling through Caine’s unfinished Exit Door thing for a while, and ended up in the Void. By the time she’d gotten back, rescued by Caine, the whole side diversion with the Gloinks had been resolved by their queen getting pummeled into submission by the Abstraction itself.
Ragatha had half-carried the twitching, buzzing Lily into the main area, slumped over her shoulder and in what sounded like agonizing pain as her own body clipped and shook around her, before Caine had fixed it with another snap of his fingers.
“…Thank you…” Pomni finally spoke. “For…doing that, keeping him off of us.”
Lily gave her a small smile. “Hey, I’m just glad you and Rags were okay.”
“What about you?” Pomni asked softly, still staring at Lily. “Are…you okay, after…all that, earlier today?”
After several long, silent seconds, Lily chuckled ruefully, a sad, humorless sound. “Nah…I’m pretty friggin’ far from okay, Pom.” She trailed one finger around the edge of her mug.
Pomni nodded silently, taking another bite of her pastry.
“What about your…” your body, Lily had been about to say, but she caught herself. That question sounded a lot more…invasive, than she’d been intending. “Your avatar? Gettin’ used to that at all?”
Pomni exhaled through her nose as she grasped one of the yellow pom-poms at the end of her permanently attached jester hat. “It’s…different. I can’t find a good way to lay down and get my head comfy.”
Lily reached upward, grasping one floppy bunny ear between finger and thumb and wiggling it. “I remember that feeling.” Her thumb grazed one of two parallel hair clips around the edge of her ear, acting as faux piercings, before she let it go, allowing the ear to sproing back upward. “You get used to it, after a while.
“I saw myself, in that big mirror in the main area earlier…” Pomni unconsciously reached one hand up, gently prodding her new, soft face just under one peppermint eye.
“Takes ya off guard, doesn’t it?” Lily nodded, raising her mug in commiseration, her other hand pointing a finger at her own face. “First time I saw this face in the mirror, I couldn’t stop staring at it.”
“You wanna know what’s weird?” Pomni asked. “My teeth. My teeth are different now, and it keeps distracting me, ‘cause I keep running my tongue over ‘em.”
“No kidding?” Lily raised an eyebrow. “Never thought a’ that.” She chuckled, her eyes widening. “Now that I think about it, I think you’re the first newbie in years whose Circus-self has teeth. Shoot, I think you’re the first one with a proper mouth.”
“Wait, really? What about Caine? He’s nothing but teeth.”
Lily waved a dismissive hand. “Yeah, but that’s like. His head? He doesn’t eat with it and it doesn’t always match up to what he’s saying, so I don’t count that as a mouth.”
“You have a mouth. And teeth. I’m looking at them right now.”
Smirking, Lily pointed one finger at the unmoving grid that made up the interior of her mouth. “Do you see me opening this thing with any real regularity?”
“…Huh.” She had Pomni there.
Lily settled back on her stood. “Gangle’s got that mouth painted on her masks, Ragatha’s got that flat plastic stop-motion-thing, and Zooble and Kinger don’t have mouths at all.” She pointed a finger gun at Pomni with a wink. “You’ve got the market cornered on mouths around here, kid.”
Pomni couldn’t help laughing. “That’s a rare sentence, right there.”
“Yeah.” A long pause. “And Kaufmo had a mouth, but…” Lily trailed off, leaving an awkward silence hanging over the two of them.
Pomni suppressed a flinch as a sob escaped from Lily, who wiped her eyes with her shirt sleeve. “(BOINK) it, Kaufey,” she swore. “Ya coulda’ just talked to me.”
“Were…you two close?” Pomni murmured. It wasn’t just for the sake of comforting Lily- this was the first sign Pomni had seen today of someone…actually being sad that one of their friends was gone.
Lily chuckled. “…Kinda? We were, once. Years ago. Not so much, these past few. Me n’ him and…” She took a slow, deep breath, in and out, an emotional reset. “Ribbit.” She took another sip of her cocoa, before clunking the mug back down. “The three of us, we were…heh. Best friends, I guess. After Ribbit…left…Kaufmo and I didn’t talk much, anymore.”
Ribbit. Pomni hadn’t heard the name before, but she could guess which of those crossed-out door plates in the hallway belonged to them. “I’m…I’m so sorry.”
Lily nodded silently, not meeting Pomni’s eyes as she stared into her empty mug.
“…If…if you don’t mind me asking…” Pomni ventured. “What happened to…to Ribbit?”
A quiet conversation in Ribbit’s room. Trust offered, given, and suddenly retracted.
Jax, sneering until his face hurt, stonewalling his former best friend, shutting her out at every turn, making her feel smaller and smaller.
A confrontation at Snowy Summit, acidic, hateful bile spilling forth, tearing all of what remained of Ribbit into pieces, reducing her down to a sad, frightened little thing, anything to make her leave Jax alone, couldn’t she just leave him alone, couldn’t she just get the stupid message?!
A hand raised before her door, and not knocking.
A lonely drink in the café.
A hand raised again, and still not knocking.
Cowering behind one of the couches as the thing that had once been Ribbit, had once been the kindest, warmest person Jax had ever known, oozing like a buzzing patch of oil, a mad, angry animal.
A red X over Ribbit’s door plate.
A stuttered, half-hearted deflection to Kaufmo trying to reach out to Jax, before leisurely sauntering away.
After a few long seconds, Lily spoke again, still staring into her cocoa.
“Nothin’ against you, Pomni, but…if the day ever comes I tell you about Ribbit…” She chuckled again, that same sad, humorless sound. “I’m gonna need somethin’ a lot stronger than this.”
Pomni nodded sympathetically. Fair enough.
With a sigh, as if to bolster herself, Lily drained a mighty swig of her cocoa. “Look…lemme shoot straight with ya.” Lily paused, reconsidering her words. “Well, okay, maybe not straight, but honest, at least.”
Despite herself, Pomni found herself chuckling at the dumb joke, even as she nodded for Lily to continue.
“Raggie and I…we try our best, to look out for everyone. We try to help everyone feel at home since, God knows Caine ain’t gonna do it anytime soon. She holds me up, and I try to do the same. So…if you need help, or to talk, or anything…” That familiar crooked, kind smile was back on Lily’s face. “Don’t be a stranger, okay? It sucks here, but…we’re all we’ve got.”
Pomni smiled back with a nod. “Ragatha is…lucky to have someone like you, watching her back. I…can tell you care a lot about her.”
Ragatha, clenching her own elbow, in front of the stage. A sad, lonely desperation in her eyes, even as she tried to smile.
“I know it’s hard. Just…don’t be afraid to reach out to me.”
Something vile and ugly and angry curdled in Jax’s gut, and he spun around, ready to say something, anything, everything to make her leave him alone, to never say Ribbit’s name ever, ever, ever again.
And she probably would have.
His voice caught in his throat as he realized that.
Jax stared back at Ragatha for so many long, silent seconds.
She’d been just as much a friend to him as Ribbit and Kaufmo had.
Was he going to destroy her, too?
“I…I…”
Jax turned on his heel and quickly stormed away from Ragatha, his eyes locked with the floor, crossing from the cold tile of the main area to the soft carpet of the bedroom hallway, until he finally stepped into his room.
He clicked the door shut behind him, took a deep, deep breath, and screamed as loud and long as he could.
One hand shot to the side, and he flung his bookshelf forward, sending it clattering onto its front, the books within tumbling into the enclosed space between it and the floor.
He grabbed one of the three chairs from the little table in the corner, and with a wet snarl, he flung it as hard as he could. It flew into the lamp on his desk, thundering off the wall behind it as the lamp fell, shattering on the floor.
Jax stumbled across the room, hands grasping, his fingers closing around a heavy wooden six-sided dice the size of his fist on the desk. He spun to the left and flung it at the full-length mirror in the corner, shattering it with a deafening crash.
He shoved everything else off of the desk in one quick sweep, sending everything clattering in every direction. He practically flung himself onto the bed, snatching the polaroids from where they’d been stuck to the wall. They fluttered impotently as he flung them in random directions.
Jax grabbed the one in the center, his favorite. Him, Ribbit, and Kaufmo together in the café, mugging for the camera. Jax was flashing a pair of rabbit-ear-fingers right behind Ribbit’s head. He remembered Ragatha, on the other side of the camera, her eye full of laughter as she clicked the button.
With a feral growl, he slammed his own forehead into the wall, the violent thud sending a flash of pain over his senses.
Someone a thousand miles away was shouting his name. He tried to tear the photo in half, but the plastic only bent, refusing to yield. “(BOINK)ing thing!” He tried harder to tear it, and when that failed, he grabbed it in his mouth, trying to tear it with his teeth.
“Jax, STOP!”
He felt Ragatha’s arms fling themselves around him in a bear hug, and he thrashed in her grip. “LEMME GO! LEMME GO RIGHT NOW!”
Ragatha held him tightly, her own hands interlacing in front of him as she clung to her friend, tears running from her lone eye.
The fight slowly leaked from Jax as he slumped forward, weeping in Ragatha’s grasp. “You shouldn’t…don’t…it’s my…”
“Shhhhhh…” Ragatha shushed him, pressing her cheek against his back. “I don’t care. I don’t.”
“You shoulda put me down there. In the Cellar. Not her. You shoulda put me in there.”
Ragatha shook her head, still pressing against Jax’s back.
In the open doorway, Jax dimly registered the concerned faces of Kinger and Kaufmo…and someone else. A pale white theater mask, her mouth a round, shocked O, peered around the door with the taller two.
When had they gotten someone new?
Good to know he was already making a good first impression.
Lily nodded softly. “I…I do. I love her to bits. Her, Zooble, everyone else here.” There was a determined loyalty shining in Lily’s eyes, making them seem more gold than yellow.
In that instant, something made itself abundantly clear to Pomni, staring at the look in Lily’s eyes as she stared into her mug.
If the entire world came crashing down on this café in this exact instant, this purple cartoon bunny would throw herself over Pomni to protect her, and wouldn’t think twice about it.
Pomni barely knew her. Lily barely knew her, either. And yet, it was a fact that Pomni somehow knew was an ironclad fact.
“…Hey.” Pomni’s voice from Lily’s side. Lily’s square pupils flicked toward her.
Pomni held up the last bite of her éclair, in absence of a mug to toast with. “To Kaufmo.”
After a few seconds, Lily nodded, raising her mug in a toast. “Here’s to you, Kaufey. Sleep well. Tell Ribbit…I miss you both.” A long pause. Then: “Love you guys.” Her smile had become bittersweet.
As Lily drained the last of her cocoa, Pomni swallowed the last of her pastry.
Lily clunked the mug back down on the counter. “And on that bombshell, it’s time for this bunny to hop back to bed.”
Pomni nodded, raising a hand. “G’night. Think I’ll stay up a while longer.” She glanced down at the plate, and at Lily’s mug. “Is there, like, a sink or anything to-“
“Oh, nah,” Lily waved a hand. “Just leave the dishes. Bubble will come by and eat them when no one’s looking.”
“…I…see…”
As Lily stood from her stool, she glanced back at the jester. “You doin’ okay? I can stay up longer if-“
Pomni waved a dismissive hand. “Nah, nah, this…” She smiled gently up at Lily. “This helped. A lot. More than you know.”
“You sure?”
“I’m sure.” Pomni jerked her head toward the café entrance. “Go on, go to bed. I can find my way back.”
Lily could tell Pomni was being truthful. That was good.
It had been a week, since Jax’s tantrum in his bedroom.
Two, since Ribbit had…gone.
Jax stood in the middle of the hallway, frozen, his eyes wide as he stared at the thing on the floor.
He’d probably passed it a dozen times and hadn’t seen it until now.
On the floor, next to a decorative plinth holding a vase of polygonal flowers…was a familiar pink bow tie.
Dropped, forgotten in the middle of everything, when the thing that had been Ribbit had poured itself out of her room, and come stampeding down the hall.
And now, here it was.
The thing Ribbit had worn, every day.
The one she’d plopped atop Jax’s head, that one night in her bedroom that Jax had tried so hard to forget.
Hand trembling, Jax knelt down, picking up the bow from where it lay.
It sat in his gloved hand, seeming to weigh a thousand pounds.
Jax didn’t know how long he knelt there, holding the bow.
Eventually, the sound of a door opening behind him snapped him out of his trance.
Jax glanced over his shoulder, just in time to meet Kaufmo’s eyes as he stepped out of his own room.
The two stared at each other for several long, silent seconds. Kaufmo with his hand on the doorknob, Jax with Ribbit’s bowtie in his hand.
Kaufmo’s eyes hardened, and he looked away from Jax.
Jax felt the familiar shame blanket across him, as Kaufmo strode past him without looking at him again.
They hadn’t spoken, since that initial snarky jab from Jax outside of Ribbit’s door.
Kaufmo hadn’t even tried to reach out.
Jax had a low feeling that Kaufmo knew.
Maybe not specifics, but knew that what had happened to Ribbit had been Jax’s fault.
Which it was.
Good. Jax didn’t deserve forgiveness for what he’d done.
Jax’s breath hitched as a low sob spilled out, deafening in the bedroom hallway.
If Kaufmo had heard, he didn’t acknowledge the sound, didn’t look back at Jax.
Jax found himself rising to his feet, slowly trudging back to his door, stepping inside and shutting it again.
His room was immaculate. Caine had fixed all of the damage from his tantrum with the snap of a finger while no one was looking.
Even the polaroids were back on the wall.
Jax stared for several long seconds at the back of the one in the center, of him, Ribbit, and Kaufmo together in the café.
Slowly, he turned to look at the full-length mirror against the opposite corner. Everyone had one in their rooms, even though no one really needed to get dressed or gussy themselves up anymore. Maybe Caine just wanted them to admire his handiwork.
His footpaws padded softly against the white-blue-and-pink carpet as he stepped over to stare into the mirror.
The hateful, evil thing in the reflection glared back at him, its eyes prickling with tears, hissing breaths as its shoulders heaved.
His fingers were clenched tightly around Ribbit’s bow tie, and he forced himself to slowly release his grip on it.
Not knowing quite why, and knowing exactly why, he slowly raised his hand, placing the bow just under his left ear, where his best friend had placed it on him, a thousand years ago.
There was no thunderclap.
No explosion.
She opened her eyes, stared at the frightened, wretched thing in the mirror, and finally broke, her shoulders heaving as heavy sobs wracked her frame.
Two simple words plastered themselves across her brain, in that moment:
Never Again.
Hours later, when she knocked on Ragatha’s door, and Ragatha opened it to find her, looking more small and scared than she’d ever seen her, the bow perched atop her head, Jax hadn’t even been able to get a word out before Ragatha was flinging her arms around her, pulling her into a tight hug.
Pomni’s voice pulled Lily from her reverie.
“Um…let me know if you guys ever need help with anything.”
Lily blinked. “Are you sure?”
Pomni nodded. “I feel like…keeping busy might help keep me sane here. And, like you said…” She gave Lily a grateful smile. “We’re all we’ve got.”
A gentle smile spilled across Lily’s face.
“G’night, Pomni.”
“Good night, Lily.”
The soft, padded footsteps slowly receded around the corner, leaving Pomni alone in the café.