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«Do ya think he's adjusting well?»
A lot had changed in the first few months of the new school year.
The news of Osamu quitting volleyball was still fresh, his captain's jersey was still new, the absence of Aran and Kita was becoming easier to bear with each passing day and, in the classroom opposite to Atsumu’s, sat Hinata Shoyo.
In the flesh.
It was him, the exact middle blocker who had made them eat dust at the last Nationals.
Coach Kurosu had, to put it mildly, gone crazy. There were rules and standards for joining the volleyball team, which he seemed to have completely forgotten the moment Hinata Shoyo walked through the gym doors.
Humbly, he had simply signed up for the club. Kurosu didn’t give a damn about humility, thrilled at the idea of being able to use all that potential as he pleased.
Even if Shoyo had been overwhelmed by all that commotion, he didn’t let it show.
Atsumu shrugged. «He’s not causing any trouble, is he?»
He wasn’t, not at all, even though Atsumu found him a little… dull, compared to all that fiery spirit he had shown at Nationals. Maybe it was homesickness, maybe it was just too early and he hadn’t made any real friends yet, maybe life at Inarizaki was too much for him. Or maybe that sudden fever had affected him in a big way.
Atsumu wanted nothing more than to become his new best friend, but he had to give it time.
He seized the opportunity on the way home from school, as they always walked together.
«Ya know, coach asked me if I think you're settling in well.»
«Huh?» Shoyo looked up at him, and Atsumu's heart skipped a beat: up close, off the court, he was incredibly endearing. «I think so! I don't have issues with anyone, and I feel like I'm improving a lot. Do you think so too?»
«Ya weren’t bad at all when ya first arrived, but ya are getting really good,» Atsumu admitted.
«You know, Atsumu-san, you’re nicer than you look. I don’t know why others think that, well… I mean…»
«I know what others think of me, Shoyo-kun. Besides, I’ve improved a lot over time. In middle school, my only friend was Aran, other than Osamu.»
«What? Why?»
«Well, Suna wasn’t around yet, so we hadn’t learned what a jerk was like yet.»
It made him laugh. Atsumu really liked the way Shoyo laughed, he did it with his whole body. So satisfying!
«Suna-san is such a jerk. He's always... I don't know, I feel like the less I talk to him, the better off I'll be. He says some really mean things sometimes.»
«Has he been mean to ya?»
«No, not really, but I don't like how he treats others. It's like he acts like he's listening, but meanwhile he's making fun of you in his head,» he explained. «One day I’ll get fed up and pick a fight with him, I already know it.»
«Heck, what am I supposed to do that day? I’ll have to choose between my vice-captain and my dear Shoyo-kun, what a terrible fate…» Atsumu’s joking tone hid a real concern. Damn, he really wanted to see Shoyo angry, maybe he’d go from adorable to gorgeous.
«I’ll punch him, I’ll make it easy for you!»
«I can’t imagine ya punching anyone,» Atsumu said. «You seem too cute for that kind of thing.»
«You're wrong!» Shoyo exclaimed. «Look, Kageyama and I were always at each other's throats!»
«No way.» Atsumu knew it was entirely possible. No, it was true for sure. So he asked «Who won?»
«Me, of course! Well, not always, Kageyama's a little stronger, but only because he's taller!»
«Come on, I don't believe that. Ya wouldn’t hurt a fly.»
«What’s the matter, Atsumu-san? You want to challenge me?» Shoyo stopped, standing in front of him with a defiant look.
Atsumu raised an eyebrow, evaluating the danger: he doubted he could lay a finger on Shoyo, or that Shoyo was serious about that challenge. He placed a hand on his forehead, giving him a gentle push backward. He was about to say something witty, but he was surprised by how soft his hair was. He spread his hand, brushing it back, a strange sort of caress.
Shoyo’s eyes were huge and confused. «What are you doing, Atsumu-san?»
He should have stopped, but he couldn’t take his hand off Shoyo’s head. In fact, he felt the urge to caress him with his other hand too. To make it seem less strange, he ruffled his hair, then gave him another little push backward. «Your hair is soft,» he explained.
«Oh! Oh, yeah, well, I... my mom... the conditioner…,» he stammered. «Because Natsu and I have curly hair, so...»
«Ah, I use that too, to keep the color,» Atsumu said. «It’s cool to take care of yer hair.»
He misunderstood Shoyo’s embarrassment, thinking he had blushed because he was admitting he did something “girly.” Quite the contrary, actually.
It was just that it was hard not to have a crush on Atsumu, and Shoyo had fallen right away.
Practice at Inarizaki was tough. Actually, school in general was tough: he was barely getting used to the higher standard of schooling, and his weekends were spent on homework much more often than usual. He was practically forced to study with a tutor, but his grades had improved just enough to allow him to join the volleyball club. While becoming a starting player was out of the question, the coach was pretty strict about practice.
Due to his good results with the tutor, he was allowed to stay and practice a little longer that Friday evening.
«Shoyo-kun, about yer receives…» Here came the lecture. Everyone at Inarizaki was strict, and Atsumu was no exception. He felt a little intimidated, bracing for a scolding.
«Yes, Atsumu-san?»
«Ya are doing better, but ya can improve even more. Want to practice a bit with me?»
Of course, Shoyo was a little terrified of receiving Atsumu’s spikes: he knew he would get hurt if Atsumu spiked to his face by accident, but this was a rarer-than-rare opportunity.
«Sure, Atsumu-san! I’m ready!»
And sure enough, Atsumu was merciless, but Atsumu would have found it more offensive to treat Shoyo like he was incompetent, so he didn’t hold back. Seeing that he’d gotten demoralized, because he’d missed more than he’d received, he bought him something sweet at the end of practice.
«Don’t give up,» he told him. «Ya are already a hundred thousand times better than when we faced off at the Nationals, and ya’ll get even better by the next ones,» he encouraged him.
Shoyo kept his head down, humiliated by his results but above all embarrassed by the way Atsumu had said it.
«I’ll do my best, Atsumu-san,» he murmured.
«I’m sure ya will. I wish we’d met sooner! With how hard ya work, ya’d be unstoppable!» Atsumu patted him on the back. His hand lingered there, between Shoyo’s shoulder blades, and Shoyo felt a strange urge to bury his face in Atsumu’s chest.
«It doesn’t matter, does it?» he said, after a moment. «I have plenty of time to become unstoppable.»
«Right. That's my boy.»
Who knows, Shoyo wondered, if Atsumu realizes what the things he says sound like. And, more intimately, he wondered if Atsumu was that nice to anyone. He hoped not. Shoyo liked the idea of getting special treatment.
«I have amazing news!!» It was not rare for Atsumu to come by Shoyo’s house, since they lived close to each other. A long story brought the Miya family and the Hinata family to have a very good relationship.
Natsu had asked if there was romance in the air for Miya-san and mom, who did her best to explain that they were old friends who found each other again after a long time. Shoyo pretended not to care, but Kenma had gotten him thinking that having a crush for Atsumu would be weird, if they became step-brothers. He really hoped not!
«What is it, Atsumu-san?» he asked, excited.
«Coach convinced yer teacher that it would be beneficial if I was yer tutor instead of Shinji, since he has to study for his uni entrance exams and won't have time for anything else. Considering that I'm not going to university, and we're already friends, I was the most logical choice. Don't worry, Shoyo-kun, I'll make ya as good as ya are at receiving!»
Excitement kicked in before reason: Atsumu-san was going to be his tutor! They would be together practically all the time! Maybe he’d be able to convince him to train a little more and study a little less! «That’s awesome! It’s not that I don’t like Shinji-san, it’s just that....»
«Ya prefer me, obviously.» Atsumu winked at him. Shoyo wanted to punch him, or kiss him. Mostly kiss him. «But don’t think ya’ll get off easy! I care a lot about grades, ya know!»
«...Seriously?» Shoyo blinked. There it was, reason. He thought it was just a rumor spread by his noisy fan club, but everyone knew Atsumu had excellent grades. Not perfect, the teachers would criticize, but excellent.
«Get the grades I say, and I’ll give ya as many sets as you want. Deal?» He held out a hand.
Shoyo shook it. «As many sets as I want,» he reminded him.
He really looked pretty.
He had grown up a little, in those months. Practice had toned his body, the Inarizaki uniform suited him very well. When he focused, Shoyo stuck out his tongue, just a little. He had loosened his tie and unbuttoned the top two buttons of his shirt, since it was starting to get hot.
In fact, Atsumu was feeling hot. He stood up to open the window: the breeze of May ruffled Shoyo’s hair, making it glisten in the sun. He adored Shoyo’s hair. He wanted to run his hands through it again.
«Shall we take a break, Atsumu-san?» He looked up from his Japanese assignment. Atsumu swallowed and shook his head.
«No, get back to work. I just thought we needed some fresh air.»
«You’re so right! It’s such a drag having to do all this homework when it’s such a nice day. We could go for a run!» He complained, but he knew it was pointless trying to sweet-talk Atsumu. That guy was as cunning as a fox!
«Finish yer homework and we’ll go for a run. Oh, don’t look at me like that, it hurts me more than it hurts ya,» he reprimanded Shoyo, taking in his dejected glance.
«You’re mean!» Shoyo retorted, acting just as childish as Natsu.
«I’m the worst. Want some fruit juice?»
«Then let’s take that break!» Shoyo insisted. «I can go get it myself!»
«But I like taking care of my Shoyo-kun,» he teased him. For Shoyo’s sanity’s sake, he was just messing with him.
«Your Shoyo-kun wants to take a break and stretch his legs. Please? Just ten minutes?» There he was, with his huge eyes, that adorable face, and his beautiful hair blowing in the wind.
Ah, screw it! «Fine, let’s go.»
They really were together all the time, to the point that Osamu started to get suspicious.
Sure, he was happy that Atsumu had someone else to annoy, but he was starting to feel a little left out. The fact that Atsumu let someone else pick the movie, when it was his turn?
Baffling. Scary. Who was that guy, and what had he done with his twin?
«I would’ve picked this one too, anyway,» he commented, referring to the movie.
Shoyo was sitting between them on the lower bunk. The laptop rested on a chair in front of them, and nothing seemed strange until he rested his head on Atsumu’s shoulder. His shameless twin didn’t seem to mind having Osamu practically right next to him and put an arm around Shoyo, who snuggled closer. Instinctively, Osamu moved away a little, now more curious about what was going on between them than about the movie’s plot.
It was very strange, because Atsumu had long since stopped being affectionate with others. He’d given it up in middle school, when it had become weird to touch others unless there was a fight. Throughout high school, his hugs could be counted on the fingers of one hand. Yet there he was, whispering something to Hinata. Hinata giggled. Was Osamu missing out on a particularly funny joke? He doubted it, but he was curious anyway.
Hinata Shoyo mostly stayed benched.
The assistant coach was all over him, trying to teach him as much as possible. Atsumu knew why: the coach wanted to put him in the upcoming games, wanted to pit him against Karasuno, assuming they qualified. The coach had serious doubts about Karasuno without Hinata. Atsumu shared the same opinion. That’s why it came as a surprise, when he was called onto the court for a replacement.
Atsumu knew Shoyo was amazing, magical. Deadly, yet still quite unstable. The rest of the team knew that too. He stunned them all by scoring three points in a row.
That was the beginning of the end. After that game, girls started pestering him. Some of them were from Atsumu’s fan club, even! So annoying! And Shoyo was too nice, so he never sent them away rudely, staying to chat far too long for Atsumu’s liking. Especially with one girl who really got on his nerves! She even had Shoyo walk her home! How shameless!
Holding his breath, Atsumu investigated, one day when they’d stayed behind to practice late. «So, Haruhi…» What a pain! They even had the same kanji in their names!
«What about her, Atsumu-san?»
«She’s all over ya. She doesn’t like guys from the volleyball team, usually. Says we’re too tall fer her, but looks like ya won her over.»
«What are you even saying, Atsumu-san!» Shoyo shook his head. He had blushed all over his cheeks. «We’re in the same class. She wanted to talk to me for a long time but she was afraid her friends would make fun of her if she did, she found the perfect excuse with the game…»
«Why would they make fun of her?» He was almost hoping for it, he was the only one who deserved Shoyo-kun!
«Well, you know how girls are…»
«No, I don’t. I’m not interested in girls. Are ya?»
«Well, I… I like girls. I’ve always had female friends, and Haruhi… I mean, it’s not easy to make friends here. I’m glad we’re becoming friends.»
«That girl doesn’t just want to be friends, ya know,» Atsumu remarked, venomous. «Don’t go getting a crush on her. Don’t let that distract ya. Just focus on volleyball, yer grades, and me»
No, Atsumu really didn’t realize how his words sounded!
«Don’t worry, Atsumu-san, I’m focused. Besides, I already have a crush.» The words slipped out of his mouth so quickly that by the time he covered his mouth, it was already too late.
Atsumu’s eyes widened. He looked furious. He was surely going to scold him for wasting time and getting distracted, but he didn’t. Instead, he walked up to Shoyo, looking very serious. «Who is it?»
«Well, I… I don’t think it’s any of your business, Atsumu-san!» Shoyo stammered, flustered.
«Of course it’s my business! I’m yer senpai, and yer captain, and yer tutor. Everything ya do is my business! Come on, who is it?»
«Is that all I am to you, Atsumu-san?» Shoyo asked. His eyes were blazing with anger. Bad sign.
“What do ya mean?»
«Is that all I am to you? Your kohai, just a teammate?» He held his head high, his eyes blazing, but the slump in his delicate shoulders gave him away. There was a subtle tremor on his lips.
Atsumu took the easy way out. «Come on, don’t be like that. Ya know.»
«No, I don’t!» Shoyo retorted.
«Isn’t it true? That I’m yer senpai and yer captain? Am I wrong?»
Shoyo’s face crumbled. He finally lowered his eyes, but before leaving, he muttered, «I thought we were friends, too. I’m sorry, Atsumu-san, I was arrogant to think you cared about me.»
It was as if all the balls in the gym had burst at once, as if the net had melted, ruining the floor. Atsumu’s whole world collapsed. «Shoyo-kun, I…,» he began. He didn’t know what to say. It had never crossed his mind that Shoyo needed to hear something like that. Was he that immature? That fragile? That desperately in need of affection?
Atsumu didn’t think he did. He thought it was impossible to hurt him, as strong and positive as he was, but he did. Easily.
«...And while we're at it, you can stop walking me home every single day. I don't need a babysitter! I always go straight home! You know that very well, you don't need to watch over me anymore!» Shoyo had been talking for several minutes, furious, and Atsumu did not hear a word, too panicked about what he unwittingly did.
He looked at him closely, perhaps for the first time: his cheeks flushed as he argued, his hands clenched into small, tight fists. His feet were planted firmly on the ground, as if he were trying not to punch him, because Shoyo was good. It wasn’t a matter of respect for his senpai, he was just a kind person who didn’t attack without a good reason. And he hurt him. Inarizaki’s black t-shirt made a nice contrast with his skin. He was still small, but he’d gotten muscular, and the sun of those days had brought out quite a few light freckles on his nose.
Shoyo turned his back on him. He was practically at the door when Atsumu caught up to him.
He hugged Shoyo tightly, he just couldn’t let him leave like that! He hadn’t finished looking at him properly yet! «I’m sorry,» he said to him. «I didn’t realize ya needed a friend. Of course we’re friends, Shoyo-kun. Ya.. ya are the best thing that’s happened this year, maybe the best thing that’s ever happened to me! Meeting ya changed everything for me, and I thought I couldn’t make it without ‘Samu, but ya are here, and this… is better than just being friends. Ya are more important than a friend, and ya are so… strong and determined that I thought ya didn’t need a friend. I tried to be everything ya might need, except the one thing ya needed most. I’m sorry. Please forgive me. I care about ya so much.»
Huddled against Atsumu’s chest, Shoyo could barely move his arms, but he managed to turn around. «Do you really mean that, Atsumu-san?»
Atsumu cupped Shoyo’s face in his hands, running his fingers through that gorgeous hair. «Don’t have a crush on anyone but me. I couldn’t stand seeing ya with anyone else. Please, if ya have to have a crush on someone, have one on me.»
Shoyo did not overthink it. He had wanted to do it for several months, but the right moment hadn’t come. He wasn’t sure if his feelings were right. He needed a confirmation, before ruining everything, risking the only person he truly considered a friend. Among other things.
There it was. So, he made it very simple: he stood on his tiptoes and kissed him, just once, lips to lips.
As long as he looked into Atsumu’s eyes, there was nothing to be afraid of.
«Is it me?» Atsumu spoke first.
«It’s you.» Shoyo nodded, beaming.
«Can we kiss again?»
They kissed a lot that evening, hidden between the ball basket and the broom handles.
They kissed again in the darkness of the evening, behind the gym, filling the silence with giggles and sweet nothings.
In the dim light, Atsumu’s eyes were warm and dark. Shoyo felt the urge to kiss him again, and he did. He kept his eyes open, though: he wanted to look at him so closely a little longer.