Archive of Our Own

An orange leaf skidded past the window, briefly touching it along its arc to the ground. It landed delicately atop a pile of litter, with dozens of similarly colored and shaped leaves; if you were to look away, you might never be able to distinguish it from the others again. It wasn't static, though. A gust of wind blew in and carried off the heap, throwing each of the leaves in a different direction. Their trajectories were unique, but they were all informed by the same process.

A leaf blew toward the window and stuck to it; one could see the light of the setting sun diffract between its venation. They had been watching for a few minutes, and they wondered if it was the same leaf they'd seen before. Each was uniquely shaped, but they couldn't remember enough about the last. They hadn't even thought to commit it to memory. Then the wind picked back up, pulling it away from the window.

"Kris!!! Are you even listening to me?"

They sighed and turned back to Susie, signing "SORRY."

"Doofus. Look, this next part is super important." She had flipped over the kids' menu and was drawing various haphazard lines in different colors of crayon; only one of them had a bite mark, which was an improvement over the mean. "You see what I'm getting at, right?"

They shrugged.

"C'mon!!! It's so obvious." She pouted at them, then turned the paper around so that it was facing them the same way she'd been looking at it. "You see it now?"

They shrugged again.

She put her palm to her face. "It's Hometown, idiot!"

Kris tilted their head and exaggerated a quizzical face. It was actually pretty obvious now that she'd mentioned it, but they didn't want to admit that. "REALLY?"

"Yes. That's what our whole conversation was about!"

They smirked. "I GUESS I JUST DON'T SEE IT."

Their remark did its job. She launched halfway across the table, reaching for their head. She grabbed their hair and tussled it, ruining its "perfectly curated" look and reverting it back to their underrated "bed head" style. Over the last few months, Toriel had tried to convince them to cut their hair a little shorter; they'd gone the opposite direction, growing it out past their shoulders. It was a little too warm for the summer, but they'd tolerated it, and now were reaping the rewards in the fall. Its only weakness was to "Susie attacks," as she called them, where she'd mess up their hair and render them temporarily blind. "You don't see anything now, do you?" They couldn't tell exactly, but they were pretty sure she winked.

Kris' voice squeaked out from beneath the mound of hair. "Point made." They did their best to brush strands of hair off to the side, leaving at least an open vertical slit of light to see through. "SO WHAT'S THE POINT OF THIS AGAIN?"

"Y'know, you've almost made me realize why Alphys gets so frustrated sometimes."

"I CANCELLED YOUR FAVORITE ANIME?"

Susie flicked a bit of syrup off her fork onto Kris' sweater, who haphazardly brushed it off with their fingers before licking them. She raised her eyebrows, but she couldn't hide her grin. "You're in such a mood today."

"YOU SOUND LIKE MY MOTHER."

"Maybe that's a good thing. She makes great food."

"IT'S JUST FINE."

They'd crossed a line. Susie stared at them in shock, slackjawed. She had heard Kris say some ridiculous things in their time together as best friends, but this was unbelievable. "You did not just say that."

"I DID." They grinned, bearing their teeth.

This had to be the final escalation. Susie tried to rise up out of the booth to a standing position. Her legs were a little too long for it to work perfectly, but it still gave her a decisive height advantage. "I'm gonna act like your mom if I have to." She shifted her voice, although it wasn't clear what strange accent she was going for. "Kris Dreemurr, if you don't tell me what's going on with you right now, so help me."

"NUH UH."

"That's it, young individual. I've had it with you." In a flash, she grabbed the last uneaten waffle from Kris' plate and stuffed it in her mouth. She wiped off her syrup-stickied fingers with Kris' napkin to rub it in.

She looked down at them, noticing their wide-open eyes. The shit-eating grin had dropped off their face, perhaps too much in shock to comprehend the evil act that she had just committed. They crossed their arms and pouted, letting out a harumph. "BUY ME ANOTHER ONE."

Susie shook her head. "Only if you tell me what's up."

Kris threw their head back and leaned against the cushions. "FINE." They tried to exaggerate a dour look, but Susie's grin was infectious. "I HAD A NIGHTMARE ABOUT RALSEI."

"The Great Delta Warrior Kris, having a nightmare about their fluffy friend. Are you scared he'll nuzzle you to death?" She wanted to rub it in more, but she saw Kris' expression shift subtly. It seemed like something had actually bothered them. "But like, for real."

They started to sign, but there was a word they couldn't find, so they whispered aloud. "He wasn't the scary part. It was like... I saw him, all alone, decades from now. After we stopped being able to come. Stuck in an almost empty Castle Town."

Susie looked off to the side, nearly lost in thought. "I'd never forget him."

Kris fidgeted with their fork. "Me neither. But what if they tear down the school, or we get locked out?"

"Then we break down the door!" She emulated the chopping of an axe in midair, but her full might clearly wasn't put into it. "Alright, you might have a point. But so what?"

"I want him and Castle Town to become even more independent. To be able to live without Lightners giving them meaning. That's why its special Dark Fountain was created, wasn't it?"

She sighed and looked down at the table, glancing at her waxborne map. "I think I see why you didn't like my idea."

Her vision was obscured as Kris reached across the table for the crayons as well as the menu. They began to scratch out new marks, crossing out some buildings while adding others. Neither friend commented for a good few minutes; she was content to let them do their work, and to ask questions later. Besides, they worked better uninterrupted, and it wasn't long before they finished. "What about this?"

The result was immaculate. They had transformed it into a veritable wonderland, meshing together existing Castle Town structures with ideas from Hometown and other parts of the Light World: new businesses and venues for entertainment, fascimiles of important structures like schools and firehouses, and elaborate 'outside' complexes like parks and ampitheaters. Susie looked at it in wonder. "So, like, a whole fake town and stuff?"

They nodded. "They're already fairly self-sufficient, but I want them to be set up for years and years without us coming by, if it comes down to it."

"I just... I don't know if I wanna think about that right now." Kris broke eye contact with her for a moment as she spoke. "Besides, how would Ralsei respond? Even after everything, he's, uh, dependent."

Suddenly, Kris reestablished eye contact and grinned like a maniac. Their hands shook with excitement as they signed. "I HAVE AN IDEA."

Kris and Susie stood awkwardly outside of Ralsei's door. They hadn't been by Castle Town in about a week, and it was rare for them to show up unannounced, so they knew it would be a surprise for him -- hopefully a good one. Susie knocked once, then twice. He usually answered nearly immediately. Instead, it took a good moment before they heard his voice from behind the door. "Hey! Who's knocking?"

Susie had done her special knock, so he must've been really distracted. "Me and Kris are here!"

"Oh!!" They never got tired of hearing his excitement, nor did they tire of seeing his cheery look as he opened the door. "What brings you both here? Did I miss one of your messages?"

"Oh, no, uh..." Susie started, rotating the web of lies she planned to spin in her mind. "See, our phones didn't go through. Bad reception, or something."

"Oh, really? I'll call Ferroll."

"No!!" Susie grasped her mouth as if it would help herself from saying too much. "I, uh, already talked to him."

"You do too much, Susie. Don't worry about us here! I can do it next time."

"Well, like, I was totally bored and everything. It was super natural too."

Ralsei twisted his head. "You didn't want to hang out with your girlfriend?" Even after all these months, he knew this was still the right technique to make her blush.

"N-no! I mean, I do, but, she's super busy with school and stuff."

"Don't you have school, too?"

Susie gulped. "I- Well, I actually already finished my project, and-"

Ralsei stepped forward and grabbed her hand before looking her in the eyes with his usual, contagious sincerity. "C'mon, Susie. You don't have to make excuses to come down to Castle Town. We all still love seeing you!"

She was blushing even heavier now, and fidgeting with her fingers; she not-so-subtly beckoned for Kris and whipsered in their ear for help. Ralsei, who couldn't quite make out what she'd said, let out a hushed "What?"

Kris accepted their duty and took charge, grabbing Ralsei's hand away forcefully from Susie's. They gently guided it to hold on to their arm so that they could still sign. "FERROLL IS INTIMIDATED BY YOU AND CAN'T WORK WITH YOU AROUND."

This would have to be good enough, but Susie still wanted to facepalm. "H-he said he didn't mean anything bad by it, he swears. It's just nerve-wracking working around your boss, right?"

It seemed for a second like he was considering it, his eyebrows lifting. "I've never really had a boss before."

"Yeah! So, like, you need us Lightners to help you understand it, like we used to do."

Ralsei nodded. "Alright, then. Let's go down there, and you can show me how to guide them without being overbearing!" His hand retreated from Kris' grasp, and he started to make his way between them and down to the bottom floor when Susie jumped out in front of him, holding her arms out.

"That's, like, a really bad idea. You need to learn to let them do their job without checking in until the end."

His face contorted along the lines of his skepticism. "How will I know if they make mistakes, then?"

"Well, it's never too late to fix mistakes, is it?" Susie was leaning both on the doorframe and on the career advice she poorly remembered receiving to the school's guidance counselor. "How else will they learn to do stuff on their own?"

"I guess..."

Kris tapped Ralsei on the shoulder, smiling when he turned to look at them. "LET'S HANG OUT TOGETHER AND LET SUSIE TAKE CARE OF IT."

Suddenly his face lit up. "Oh, sure!" He broke away from them and made his way back to his door. "You just wait here, Kris. I'll change into something more appropriate!"

Susie snickered. "Like a horse?"

He stuck his tongue out. "Oh, silly goose." Then he made his way inside the room, closing the door behind him gently.

The other two ran at each other and high-fived; Kris' hand stung like it always did afterwards. "C'mon, Kris, you gotta keep him busy while I put our plan into action."

"WHERE DO I BRING HIM?"

"I don't know! This was your silly idea!"

"BETTER THAN YOURS WAS."

Susie flicked them in the forehead. Lovingly. "My idea would've worked perfectly if it hadn't failed."

Kris flicked them back. "JUST TELL ME WHERE TO GO."

"Ugh, fine." She adorned her best thinking face. "Maybe, uh... that weird creepy valley with all the dust. Like, where we first came in from when we found the place."

"SOUNDS FUN."

"I can't tell if you're being sarcastic."

They pulled up the sides of their mouth with their fingers to force a smile.

"Well, you come up with something better if you're so smart." She blew a raspberry, although it was cut off by the sound of Ralsei fiddling with his door handle. Susie took it as her cue to leave, slipping back down the castle stairs.

After she finished her disappearing act, the door swung open. "Kris! How do I look?"

Their jaw almost dropped when they saw his outfit. He wore a stunning, emerald dress, almost a pinafore, with buttoned straps gliding over his shoulders; it was emblazoned with a black diamond sporting a red outline. Its green skirt ran about halfway down his legs, which were mostly bare, save for the pink-and-white polka dot crew socks and sporty black ankle boots with lilac laces.

His blouse was frilly and puffy at the end of its short sleeves; it had a checkered texture, with colors matching his socks. Kris' eyes traced upwards, following the flow of his long, curled pink ribbon, which wrapped all the way around his ears and up into two bows at the top of his head. He had clearly fluffed out his hair, exposing more volume than usual. It was topped off by a pair of glasses that Kris had never seen before. They were bright green, same as the dress.

"Kris?"

They'd forgotten that they were witnessing someone real, not just a photograph. "Yes?"

"You don't like it?"

Kris shook their head vigorously. "I LOVE IT." They repeated the signs many times.

Ralsei smiled. "Great! It's... inspired by an outfit you wore once."

"WHAT DO YOU MEAN?" Kris sweat a little. They'd only ever worn their trademark striped-sweater look into the Dark World, and they were in full armor there anyway.

"Susie brought me a photo once. She thought it was so cute! And she was right, too." His big bright smile almost drove out the confusion from Kris' mind. When had she gotten ahold of that? She didn't even know them the last time they wore that outfit.

"That was a secret to everyone." Their pouting face did nothing to stop Ralsei from laughing. They had no choice but to segue aggressively. "YOU KNOW WHAT DAY IS IT?"

He turned his head. "No, sadly. I don't even fully understand your Light World calendar."

"IT'S OCTOBER 27TH."

"Is it really?" He looked surprised, perhaps even excited. "Uh, is that a holiday?"

Kris had really hoped that he would remember the significance so that they wouldn't have to explain, but alas. "TOMORROW IS A YEAR TO THE DATE THAT WE FIRST MET." They'd thought of a few other ways to say it -- "the date that we first fell into the Dark World," or "the date that Susie and I met you" -- but settled on that variant.

"Ohh!!!" His excitement twisted into a full beaming smile. "I can't believe it's already been a year. It feels like it was just like yesterday!" They nodded as he continued. "And to think that the whole adventure only took a week."

"I'M GLAD WE CAN STILL SEE EACH OTHER."

He looked away bashfully. "I am too. It was so hard to admit, but I really was scared. I don't think I would've been able to handle living on without you guys."

Thump, thump. Blood rushed through Kris' body. This was the perfect opportunity to talk to him about their dream, but... he looked so happy. His smile was so bright. They couldn't bear to darken it. "HEY, LET'S GO. I HAVE SOMEWHERE I WANT TO TAKE YOU."

"Really? You're so thoughtful, Kris."

"YEAH, I AM." Their smirk only barely hid their nerves.

It was only a few minutes' walk west of Castle Town, not counting the time spent clambering up the collapsed cliff. The atmosphere of the valley freaked Kris out, but they didn't show it. Ralsei, for his part, seemed accustomed to the strange winds, ethereal noises, and pitch-black bottomless pits. As they drew far enough away to where construction noises wouldn't be audible, Kris sat down at the edge overlooking a distant cliff, then beckoned for Ralsei to sit beside them.

"Y'know," he began, hands tucked between his legs. "I'm beginning to think all that with Susie was just a ploy to get me alone with you."

"I DON'T MIND SHARING."

He chuckled. "If you say so."

The odd whistling of wind in the valley hid the silence between them as Kris stumbled with their fingers, searching for an answer. They needed to breach the subject, but it was just too uncomfortable. The only other time they'd mentioned it -- to Susie -- they'd been laughed at. Despite his changes, they knew Ralsei would never laugh at them, but they were still unusually afraid to bring it up. They decided to introduce the subject in a subtle way. "HOW WAS IT, GOING A WEEK WITHOUT US COMING BY?"

"Oh, it was alright," he started, running his fingers over the edge of his skirt. "Nothing much happened."

Kris recognized the same anxious signs from his response that they'd noticed themselves. "SURELY YOU DID SOMETHING."

"Well... Sweet Cap'n Cakes asked me to sing on their new mixtape, which was fun."

"HOW DID THAT GO?"

Even over the whistling, Kris could hear him humming out a few notes for them. "I'm out of practice, but... it was nice."

"ARE YOU GOING TO DO MORE OF THAT?"

He nodded cautiously. "Maybe. It wore out my throat a little, but it was worth it!"

"I DIDN'T KNOW THAT COULD HAPPEN TO DARKNERS."

Ralsei laughed. "It depends. Some of us are a little more sensitive than others. Anyways, I wouldn't be able to sing as well if I couldn't feel the same things you do."

They responded in a hushed tone. "I don't sing."

"Well, you guys in general. And it's not that different from playing the piano, right? You have to feel the ivory at your fingertips." Ralsei acted out playing a few notes in the air in front of him, and Kris joined in. "This just isn't the same."

"I CAN PLAY AIR GUITAR." They demonstrated quite adeptly.

"Hah, yeah."

Despite Kris' best efforts, their playing resulted in no music. With no further comment on the matter, the air between them remained eerily empty. Unsure of how to continue, the two looked away from one another, not risking being the first to break the armistice.

Kris put their hands together in their lap and ran their fingernails over their fingertips. The sensation made them feel real while they were anxious, or at least, that's what they told themselves. Sometimes they'd start doing it in class, zone out, and zone back in about an hour later, with Alphys watching them with a great deal of concern. She wouldn't really get it. They didn't have, like, trauma or anything, they didn't think. That's always what people said made you zone out like that. No, they just didn't want to "be there" sometimes. Like they didn't belong, exactly.

The Dark Worlds could've been different, under different circumstances. Like, say, if they'd been puppeted by an otherworldly force the entire duration of their adventure. Maybe they would've liked to experience a sort of fantastical unreality, to be a hero of legend alongside their new best friends.

Their fingernails dug a little harder into their fingertips.

"Uh, Kris?"

Their sight snapped over to Ralsei without thought, and their mouth followed. "Yeah?"

"Are you alright?"

They looked down at their hands; their nails had made a very light incision in their pinky finger, and a bit of blood was oozing out. "I'M FINE." The feeling of wind brushing against it burned as they made their gestures.

Ralsei reached out and grabbed their hands. He caressed them gently, then traveled upwards, holding onto their arms just underneath their sweater. "You're worried about something."

Kris shook their head. "Nuh uh." Maybe Ralsei would respond better to their petulant child act than Susie had.

He continued to clutch them, with his fuzzy arms mingling with theirs. "Please?" His head tilted to the side as he widened his eyes.

His soft touch had distracted them so long that they hadn't made any progress figuring out how to lead him to the right conclusion, and it was getting harder to deny him an explanation. "Fine, I'll tell you."

"Yay! Oh, great. I just hope I can help!" In his excitement, he pulled back his paws.

Kris already missed the physical connection, which they imagined might have made it easier to be sincere with him. They quickly adjusted their plan. "ON ONE CONDITION."

"Yes?"

"BRUSH MY HAIR FOR ME."

"Ah, yes. Always a pleasure for you, Kris!" They turned away from him enough to give him access to the back of their head, and he pulled out the brush he always had on him.

A few months ago, Noelle had overheard him saying that he wished he could brush Susie's hair for her. She ended up spending entirely too many Dark Dollars on a highly ornate one from an Addison and gifted it to him. Of course, Susie didn't actually agree to the plan. Kris, who had just started to grow out their hair, was a natural second choice for brushing practice; they'd heard no shortage of jokes about it from her. Since then, they had grown more and more attached to the time they spent together with Ralsei, and they found it a lot easier to think while they felt the pop-pop-pop of their hair strands being pulled away and together. It was like weird tactile ASMR.

His fingers were deft, and Kris never felt pain from how he brushed. It was quite different from Toriel, Susie, Carol, or Noelle, who had all at different times offered to brush their hair and somehow all failed in similar ways. They cherished the way he ran his free paw through their hair as he adjusted it.

"Is this alright?"

They wanted to nod, but smartly stopped themselves. "Yes."

"So..." He trailed off, expecting Kris to fill the silence, but they failed to do so for some time. He awkwardly whistled, matching the same notes he'd sung earlier; probably something off the mixtape, Kris figured. They considered asking him if they could listen to it, but even their friendship with Ralsei wouldn't be enough to overcome the cringe of actually exchanging an amateur studio recording.

"I was just... thinking about you, recently." He continued to hum, albeit quieter; it was already hard enough for Kris to talk over the wind with their soft voice. "Nothing crazy."

"What about me? Did you need me to do something?"

They again wished to shake their head, only barely pausing in time. "No, no. You do enough for me. I was actually worried about you." Not very subtle so far, they worried.

"Really? Well, I'm doing fine, for the most part."

Good pivot point. "For the most part?"

He sighed, the brushing ceasing for just a moment. "Yeah. There's been a few things on my mind, but nothing much."

"Like what?" Kris smiled; maybe Ralsei already had similar thoughts, and so they wouldn't have to be the one to initiate the discussion. That would make it a lot easier for them. At the very least, they wouldn't mind helping out Ralsei in whatever other way he needed.

"Well, Castle Town is a mess sometimes. Just since the last time you guys came by, the Cuptains made a big mess on the eastern plateau. It took a cleaning party days to fix it up again."

"Wow." Kris, truthfully, found it hard to care about messes, but they sympathized.

"Yeah, it was a big fiasco. Then there was the dispute over the bread shop that has never stopped. It's like if I turn my back for a second, everything goes to... shrimp."

"That's what Susie is helping with, right?"

He sighed again. "Maybe. I mean, I trust her, but I worry that she's in over her head with them. When we were preparing for Noelle's arrival, I basically had to make every decision. And even if she could lead them, it wouldn't really fix the problem; they still need someone, right?"

"Uh huh."

"It's just the nature of Darkners without Lightners to entertain and to get meaning from. We were never built for this, but Susie convinced us all to keep going. It just means that I need to bear the brunt of that."

Kris gulped as the conversation turned sharply back to their domain. "What do you mean?"

"Well, when a whole Dark World is built around bringing joy to Lightners, everything is easily organized to that purpose. Even when disagreements arise, they're oriented in a single direction. But now, all of us Darkners have our own purposes. It's beautiful, but... chaotic."

"Too much freedom?"

Ralsei chuckled. "Maybe. There's an expression -- something like, a dog finally catching up to the truck it's been chasing. It feels like that sometimes. You have to keep giving yourself meaning once your last one runs out."

As nice as the brushing felt, Kris had grown a little bored with Ralsei's philosophizing. They'd hoped to learn something actionable; instead, it seemed like Ralsei was worried about the same thing they were. They needed to start offering some sliver of solution, since he was stumped himself. "You all have hobbies, right?"

"Most of us, yeah. Queen's changes every week; the Internet probably isn't good for her. A bunch of her minions follow what she does, which creates trends and so on. This week, they all started to try and balance pineapples on their heads while they talk."

"That's awesome."

"It was fun the first few times. Then they started designing custom headwear just to hold it in place, which kinda defeated the purpose, and then it started a bunch of arguments, and then I had to step in and get people to move on."

"Why not just let them get tired of it themselves?"

Kris felt Ralsei shake his head. "They're like little kids. They'll get hurt if someone doesn't intervene."

"You're young, too."

He stopped for a few seconds. "I... well, yes. But, I'm pretty mature, right?"

"We're all a little immature sometimes." It actually hurt to say; Kris had always hated being called immature as a kid. It felt like nails on the chalkboard. Yet it felt like the only way to break through to Ralsei, and they didn't feel like it was a lie per se.

Ralsei laughed. "Yeah, I guess we are." He ran his fingers through their hair, pulling out a few loose strands. "Do you wish you weren't, though?"

"Let's talk about something else." They blurted it out abruptly, paying no mind to the way it would hurt his feelings, or dissuade him from connecting again in the future. It inspired immediate regret from them, but it was too late.

"O-oh! Sorry!"

"I meant to say, what about you? Why do you want to be mature?"

He thought about it. "Isn't that how we're all supposed to be?"

"I thought you liked questioning expectations."

Ralsei chuckled. "Ah, yes, you really get me, don't you? Truthfully, I'm not sure I mind either way. Just as long as I can keep everyone safe and happy."

They both thought on those last words for a moment. Neither were entirely convinced, but it was hard to argue with so simple and selfless a statement. The wind picked back up, blowing the tassels of Ralsei's ribbon off to the side; he grabbed for it, moving away a bit from Kris. They struggled to think over the noise, loud as it was, and it felt like they were putting together pieces from two different jigsaw puzzles. It would be so easy just to say how they felt, but they couldn't bring themselves to do it. Everything had to be couched in something nonchalant, and they hated it, but they couldn't change themselves. They could only try harder.

"It's nice talking to you, Ralsei."

"Oh!" He had finished restoring his ribbon, but he turned to face them. "I feel the same about you."

"No, no," Kris stammered, words coming out faster than they could be filtered. "You were right. You're mature, and I'm... acting like a little kid."

"Aw, Kris, don't say that. You've done some very impressive things."

"I did them, in the past. My role in the world is already done, isn't it? Now I'm stuck in arrested development."

Ralsei frowned. "You're still in high school. From what I understand, that gives you plenty of time to work everything out."

They swung their legs backward, colliding with the cliff and knocking a few rocks loose. It felt good. "Everyone else is ahead of me."

"Comparison is the thief of joy."

They kicked again. "Mom always says that, but colleges don't. Or at least, they enjoy stealing joy."

"So you're worried about your grades?"

"No." Another kick. "Well, maybe, but they've gotten better. Susie's, too. We're a good duo when we actually focus."

"I'm glad to hear that. I've helped her a few times, too."

"Yeah, and thanks for that. Noelle helped her and so on, so she's, like, doing better than me at this point."

"Are you jealous?"

They smashed the back of their boot into the cliff, almost causing a tear in its edge. "Not at all."

"Hmmm... are you sure?"

Kris stared daggers into Ralsei. "No."

He put his hands up in false surrender. "Alright, alright, sure. But you swear you aren't worried about school?"

"It's just..." Their gaze dropped back down to the valley. "It's not any one thing, I don't think. Not just grades, or 'extracurriculars,' or getting third wheeled." Ralsei hadn't even brought that one up. "I just feel like I'm swimming through molasses."

"Like you're running on a hamster wheel?"

"Exactly!"

"Here, I have an idea." Ralsei pulled himself onto his feet and stretched out a hand to help Kris do the same. "Scream it out at the top of your lungs."

They looked around, as if the pale dirt nearby would have answers. "Scream what?"

"Just... anything."

"Really?"

"Yeah. I come here and do that sometimes."

The thought of Ralsei yelling at nothing to get his emotions out was unexpected, to the point that Kris almost didn't believe it. Was this some sort of setup? Somehow, that seemed even more unthinkable. "I just don't know what to say."

He put his paw on their shoulders. "Breathe in and out, then think about the first thing that comes to mind as you picture all your worries. Pretend like they're getting expelled from your lungs."

They tried it. Breathing was easy; they'd been forced into doing breathing exercises their entire life. The hard part was bringing all their worries together into one place. They thought of Alphys lingering over them, giving them another failing grade. They thought of Susie and Noelle, spending the day together, not thinking to invite them, and how the two had said afterwards they'd have been fine with Kris joining. They thought of Toriel whinging when they asked her to drive them somewhere for the second time in a week.

Kris shouted at the top of their lungs. "I DON'T KNOW WHAT I WANT!"

Ralsei gave them a thumbs up. "That's not exactly what I meant, but it's good to get it out."

They shouted it again. "I DON'T KNOW WHAT I WANT! I DON'T KNOW WHAT I WANT!" Each time they yelled it out, it felt better and better. Ralsei clapped for them each time, and they kept going, again and again. It took a good while before they got tired, but their throat did wear out. Kris sat down on the edge of the cliff again, out of breath. "What about you?"

He sat down beside them, somewhat most composed. "I'm not sure what you mean."

"That was really cathartic. Don't you have anything to yell about?"

"Well..." He put his paws up to his chin. "Not really."

Kris scowled as they panted. "That can't be right."

"Really, I swear."

"Aren't you afraid about what will happen once we're gone?"

"Once you're gone? What do you mean?" Ralsei's eyebrow raised.

"One day, we might not be able to come by anymore." They stammered some. "Will you be alright?"

He sighed, grabbed onto their arms again, and grinned. "I don't want to ever have to leave you guys behind, but it'll have to happen eventually, right? So there's no point worrying about it."

"You don't get it."

The smile dropped off his face. "What do you mean?"

"Like, what if you aren't ready? What if it were to happen today?"

He scooched closer. "Is something happening?"

"No!" They almost yelled it out, catching themselves. Their voice could've carried across the whole valley if they'd wanted, but they were afraid of Susie overhearing them. "I mean, definitely not. I was just wondering about it."

"Well, I feel like I am ready already."

Kris' heart dropped. They should've been happy; they were happy, maybe. They just didn't want to hear it, somehow. They wanted to close their ears. If only the wind weren't so loud, and so constant. "That's good," they lied.

"Susie worked with Toriel and helped me put together some photo albums to remember the both of you by, as well as Noelle and Berdly and all the others. That's how I saw your outfit before!"

"Oh." They couldn't believe the betrayal. Actually, they could; nothing brought their mom more joy than showing off younger pictures of them and Asriel to strangers. "I can't imagine only having a photo of you to go by."

"Oh, Kris." Ralsei continued to scoot closer to them, and they made no attempt to flee. "You know that I could never replace you. I'd hate to be estranged from you and Susie and everyone forever. But you were the one who brought it up, right?"

"Yeah." They nodded, but it felt involuntary.

"What made you worry about that?"

"Nothing."

"Are you sure?"

Ralsei's concern felt so genuine that it put Kris on edge. "I just-"

"Please, tell me what's wrong."

"It's not a big deal, it's fine, it's alright." Kris' eyes wetted. They couldn't remember the last time they'd cried; maybe it had been waiting for this time. To embarrass them. They put their fists up to their eyes and tried to push the tears back in, but it didn't help. They wanted to stand up and run away, but they didn't have the strength.

"Kris!!" Ralsei's voice reached them faster than he could. He had gotten within just a few inches of them, and he closed the distance with force, pulling them forward and wrapping his arms around them.

"I-" The words pushed themselves out, struggling against the flow of tears. "I had a dream, and I thought it was about you, b-but I think I was just, uh, projecting. It was about someone in some dark space, so alone, like everyone had left them behind, like they were just-" They sneezed. "Like the world itself had forgotten them. But, I think it was me. I think it had to have been me."

Ralsei pulled them closer. "You're alright, Kris. Y'know, dreams don't just mean one thing. That's what I read."

"I know..." they began, their sniffles interrupting their response. "But I didn't want to think about what it meant for me, so I just thought about you. But you're all fine, aren't you?"

He patted them on the back. "No, Kris, you were right. You and Susie both."

"Really?"

"Yeah." He twisted his body some to get closer to them, their legs still hanging off the cliff awkwardly. "I've been losing my temper some recently, and I didn't know what to do. I thought that everything would go wrong if I wasn't managing everything myself. You both have really opened my eyes."

They clutched him tighter too. "That's good." It didn't fix everything, but the words had lifted their spirits up, and their crying had subsided for the moment. They snorted awkwardly, almost laughing at the circumstances. "I don't know what I was so worried about."

It was a touching note to leave on, and the two remained entangled for a few minutes. The tears dried on their face, but they didn't want to leave. Not until Ralsei picked up the conversation again. "Kris... Can I ask you a favor?"

They instinctively moved away from him, but he held on, and they decided to stay hugging. "Sure, I guess."

"From now on, don't hide how much you care about people, alright?"

"D-deal."

"And don't be afraid to ask for help."

They didn't like making deals that they didn't fully understand. "Who said I was?"

Ralsei twirled some of their hair in his fingers. "My wet shoulder."

"Maybe so." Kris laughed, feeling quite predictable. "Can you promise me something, too?"

"Yeah?"

His embrace never stopped feeling warm. They remembered being a little kid and skinning their knee on the pavement. They'd cried and cried, until finally their parents showed up and hugged them. It was such a small moment, but it had never left them, not even now. Actually, it was all they could think about. Being in so much pain, feeling like the world was closing in on them, and then it being suddenly washed away. They never wanted him to let go, but they didn't want to be washed away too. They were frozen, hoping it would thaw them, but it couldn't. Not unless they let him in.

They knew what they wanted to ask, but they couldn't bring themselves to say it. They were still so weak. Besides, he didn't need more burdens. "Nevermind."

"Wait, Kris, you can-"

The wind stopped abruptly, replaced with the loud clambering of steps behind them. "Hey, lovebirds. What's going on?"

Kris and Ralsei mutually pushed away from each other, landing squarely on their backs. One of Kris' feet remained just off the precipice, and they were glad not to have fallen in. "NOTHING MUCH."

"We were, uh, discussing important Castle Town matters." Ralsei lacked his usual confidence and honesty.

The two noticed that Susie was accompanied by a few of her friends. "Well, me and Lancer were just working there, and I don't think any of our jobs required hugging like that."

Ralsei had loved the new changes, accepting them all without comment. Susie and the others had expected a slew of criticisms, and prepared responses in kind, but he hadn't uttered a single negative word about anything; she had noticed many of them breathing out a sigh of relief afterwards. He had still insisted on touring the town himself, lest he be influenced by outside opinions, and he was still only halfway through his tour.

They didn't have much time left to stay in Castle Town, but Kris and Susie were spending the minutes they did have resting under an umbrella outside one of the new cafés. There were multiple now, of course, to allow for the various Darkners who had laid claim to the last one, although they knew the bickering would continue.

"So," Susie began, leaning all the way across the table, "what'd you two actually talk about?"

"NORMAL STUFF."

"Heh, yeah right."

They avoided looking at her directly, unwilling to catch the smile bug. "REALLY. I JUST TOLD HIM ABOUT THE DREAM. HE SAID HE WAS GOING TO BE FINE."

She scoffed. "Sure. I mean, he's grown a lot, but you know he loves us so much. Especially you. It would hit him real hard."

It was true, yet they couldn't help but remember the confidence with which he had deflected their worrying. Had he simply not wanted to spread his fears to Kris, or was he genuinely alright with it? They had a few thoughts on the matter. "WHEN DID YOU GIVE HIM THE PHOTOS?"

Susie recoiled some, her eyes widening. "What? Oh, right, yeah, I forgot about those." She didn't actually answer the question until Kris stared her down. "Uh, it was like a month ago. Took a week or so, too, to coordinate everything."

"WHY DIDN'T YOU TELL ME?"

"Well, he asked me not to."

Thump, thump. "WHY?" Their hands nearly trembled too much to sign it.

"Said he didn't want you to have to think about that. Plus, he knew your mom would embarrass you, which she totally did. It was hilarious."

Kris wanted to respond, but nothing came to mind. After they went a while without talking back, Susie started to go off on a tangent about something the Cuptains had done, but Kris had already started to zone out. The only thing they could think about was him. If they focused just enough, they figured they could make him out in the distance; his green skirt, and pink blouse, and bright bows atop his head. He must've been checking out a corner store, or maybe a drinking fountain, or really they couldn't tell at all. He was so far away, and they wanted so badly to stand up and walk over to him.

So they did. They stood up wordlessly, and they walked right out of Castle Town. Susie called out for them, as did a few other Darkners, but they didn't stop. They didn't stop once they got to the school, or even once they got home. They didn't stop until they were in their bedroom and they crawled into their bed and they put their face into the pillow and they started to cry again, and this time they didn't even know why.