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Takemichi,
I promised I'd write, and so I am, but it's gonna take a while for me to get the letter sent. Sorry about that. You're gonna get a goddamn earful next time I see you, though, because shit's fucked.
I'll remember the big stuff fine, so here's the quick version: we're trapped, and they're saying we have to kill each other if we wanna get out. I can't get a hold of you, which you probably figured out by now. Lost my phone at some point. They probably have to hide us real good because they know if you find out where we are, you'll raise hell trying to get us out. There ain't a damn thing in the world that'll stop you once you put your mind to something.
And the guy telling us all this shit is a fucking teddy bear with a bomb in it who says he's our headmaster. I almost forgot about that part with all the other shit going on. It's kind of the least of our fucking worries, I guess.
As far as the small stuff goes, everyone here's just as freaky as you thought they'd be. Some of them are cool, like Enoshima (she's a model in magazines and shit. I know you don't know anything about girls, but she's hot, trust me), Kuwata seems like he can hang, and Naegi got in by lottery so he seems pretty normal. But then there's Fukawa, who's pretty weird, and Togami's a fucking asshole. You'd hate him. He's like if that Mimura kid in your class actually had the rich uncle he's always bragging about.
I hope First Volcano's treating you okay. First year's a pain in the ass, but you'll be fine. You were always better at that school shit than me. Bet you'll graduate top of the class. And I'm gonna be there for it, I promise.
Don't think you'll hold it against me or anything, but I don't think I could kill someone just to get outta here. Not even if it means getting back to you. Sorry.
I guess if you're reading this, we found some other way to reach you anyways, so don't worry about it. Bet you're real proud of me for being so clever.
Miss you, man. Thinking about you all the time.
-Mondo
Takemichi,
We're all getting along okay. Not great or nothing, a bunch of them are still pissing me off, but it's about as good as it could be. No one's killed anyone, which is kind of the biggest thing. As long as that keeps up I think we got a pretty good shot of finding a way out of here.
Everyone here's some sort of wonderkid or something. Don't tell them I said this, but I kinda just feel like some asshole with a motorcycle next to them, you know? Like, I'm not some supergenius or really good at writing or swimming or punching shit (okay, I'm pretty good at that one, but Ogami could turn me into paste if she wanted). The shit I do isn't gonna matter once I grow up and get out into the real world.
Hell, even Yamada can make a career out of the shit he does, even if I think it's kind of stupid. He says he won't draw Goku. What the fuck is the point of making comics if you don't draw Goku? If you were here, you'd back me up.
I don't mean the gang isn't important to me. Don't want you thinking that. You guys are my whole world. It's just… all of you are gonna grow up and graduate and get your lives started one day, yeah? No one stays in this business forever. Even if Daiya stuck around for a lot longer than
Hard to imagine either of us with a real grown-up job, though. Like, can you picture me in a suit and tie? With a fuckin' boss? Maybe we could get construction jobs out in Tokyo or something. They let you wear a tee shirt, at least, and we could probably still spend a lot of the day fucking around and hitting shit with hammers, same as always.
You'd look sharp in a little suit, though, I bet. Like when we'd dress Chuck up for halloween. You remember that? He'd chewed the damn thing halfway off by the end of the night, but I'm pretty sure we got more candy than anyone else in the neighborhood that year. We'd just have to find one that fit you right. Maybe they make them in kid's sizes. Pipsqueak.
If you were here you'd probably tackle me or something for saying that. I miss that. Miss you a lot, Michi.
-Mondo
Michi,
I dunno where the hell they took you, but I'm gonna find you, okay? The second we figure out a way outta here, I'm coming to get you. You're tough, I know you're just fine, those motherfuckers probably can't raise a finger to you. Just hang tight until we can figure this out.
I'm not gonna kill anyone, don't worry. I mean, if you are worried, that's probably the last thing on your mind, but I know you'd fucking hate it if I traded someone else's life for yours. That's just not your style.
Not that any of that matters, I guess, because by the time you get this I'll be rescuing you anyways and this whole fucking nightmare will be over. Hope it's nice wherever they're keeping you. Hope you got one of those bathtubs with the jets they put in the nice hotel rooms.
I think I have to imagine you comfortable. That doesn't mean I'm not fucking searching everywhere for you as soon as I get the chance, but… I dunno, man, when I think about you hurt it makes me feel like I'm losing my goddamn mind, you know? Always has. And I know I gotta keep it together in here if I ever wanna see you again.
You're helping me a lot with that, by the way. Thinking of you and stuff. Feels kinda fucked up to say, but you know how it is with us. No one else in the world really gets what we have going on. Been that way since I can remember.
Hang on, I'm coming for you. Just gotta wait this out a little.
-Mondo
I'm so fucking stupid. You know I really thought we'd all be able to get out of here? Fucking Kuwata went and killed Maizono, and now he's gone, too. Stabbed her in the stomach, and I thought that was bad, but then they fucking bludgeoned him to death. Strapped him to a post and shot baseballs at him until he stopped moving. I could hear his fucking bones cracking, Michi. I could hear him try to scream with a broken jaw and ribs and half his goddamn teeth knocked out. They got Enoshima, too, fucking stabbed her with a bunch of spears that just came up out of the ground. The sick fucks had them rigged to kill her, Michi, and I dunno how many more traps like that they've got hiding.
Shouldn't be writing about this to you. I probably won't send this one, even if I ever get the chance to. You're the toughest guy I ever met, I know you can handle it, but I don't want you to have to, you know? No one should have to see think about that.
I dunno. When everything was fucking crazy and people were dying, the only thing that could get me to keep my cool was imagining you there, right behind me, same as you were on rides. You were always this this silent little shadow that came out the second things started going south. I'd be about two seconds from getting my teeth kicked in when you'd pop up and start swinging. Don't think I can count how many blows you've taken for me over the years.
I owe you for that. Owe you for this, too. Still feels like all I have to do is call and you'll come running, same as always, even when I should know it's stupid. It's helped a lot more than I'm gonna let any of the others know.
I can tell you, though. Thanks, Michi. You've always been the best bodyguard a guy could ask for, even from wherever they've put you now, and probably a lot better than a guy like me deserves.
You'd argue with me about that, too, I bet. You always thought I was a better man than I am. I still try to live up to that.
-Mondo
Takemichi,
Ishimaru's on my last goddamn nerve. I dunno how you manage to keep your cool around those types, because I'm about ten seconds from pummeling the guy.
I mean, not really. We got more important things to worry about. But still.
He's the Super High School Level Public Morals Committee member, and he's every bit as annoying and up his own ass as that makes him sound. Always getting on my case for the smallest shit like it's not literally life or fuckin' death out here. Like, who gives a fuck if I'm being a nuisance or whatever? Three people died. They kidnapped our loved ones. It ain't like I'm not pulling my weight. I wanna get out just as much as the rest of these assholes.
I dunno. He's harmless, I guess. Don't think he'll kill anyone unless he's accidentally boring them to death or making their eardrums burst with how loud he talks. He's a real crier, too, which is more weird than annoying, I think? I got no clue what to do with all that. Like, you know the guys. We don't really do that unless something's seriously fucked, and even then it's never much. Ishimaru cries all the goddamn time, and it's not even just when he's sad, either. Like, if he's really getting going on a subject, or if Naegi's nice to him, or whenever he's mad at me (that's the one I've been seeing the most), the waterworks start, and it kinda throws me for a loop every time.
You'd probably think he's annoying, too, but you were always better at just walking away from shit like that. Like the weird fucker we ran into during that weekend trip to Nagoya. He had that dumb fucking short-sleeve button up with too many buttons undone, and he called you
Don't wanna write it down actually. Point is you were just gonna leave him to it and not kick his ass, so me and Daiya had to kick his ass for you. And then all three of us missed dinner because we were too busy running from the cops to stop in anywhere.
That was fun. You seemed happier after, too. I never told you because I figured you'd stop as soon as you caught on, but when you were sad and you didn't want us to know, you'd get this kind of far away look, not like a kicked puppy but more like an old dog who used to get kicked when it was a puppy and still thinks about it sometimes. Daiya always caught it faster than me. Feels like you get it all the time now, but I dunno how to fix it anymore, so if
What I'm trying to say is I feel like you'd know how to talk to him without blowing your lid. I sure as hell don't. Maybe I'll get to introduce you two someday and you can teach me how to do it.
-Mondo
Takemichi,
I know I just talked about how annoying Ishimaru is, and you're probably gonna think this is real funny, but I spent some time with the guy and he's really not that bad. There's this sauna in the school (you were right about it being stupid swanky, too, by the way, because what the fuck business does a sauna have in a high school? You should see the fuckin' baths, too, Michi, bet this place would have been real cool if not for all the shit we're going through).
I'm getting off topic. There's a sauna in the school, so we set up an endurance contest, right? It's too early in the year for standing out in the snow with our shirts off even if we could go outside, and most of the other endurance competitons the gang used to have were off the table, too, so the sauna was our best bet. Thing about that is it's a lot of sitting on your ass in silence. At least when we were outside, we could count the cars that go by or something, but in a sauna you're just kinda trapped in a hot little box with another man.
And so we got to talking, right? And it turns out he's pretty cool. Still kind of a hardass, but I think that's probably fine. He's just the kind of guy that has a real hard time making friends. Kinda like you were back when we first met, but Ishimaru actually wants people to talk to him and just can't figure out how, instead of being a little freak and biting anyone who gets too close.
I dunno if I ever showed you that scar, by the way, the one on my bicep? It stretched out kinda weird when I got big. I think it's kinda cool. Sometimes I'd tell chicks I got it from a wild dog, but I don't think they ever believed me.
Anyways, Kiyotaka's had real trouble with it since he was little. Part of it was his granddad, he says (you remember the shit that went down a couple prime ministers back, right?), but he's also kinda always had a hard time talking to people. I dunno, man, I felt for the guy. It's hard when you don't really fit in anywhere.
He talked about his ols man some, too. That's who they took for him. Might even be in the same place as you. He's a cop, which was the least surprising thing I'd fucking heard since entering this place, but it sounds like Kiyotaka loves him a lot. It's kinda weird to think about, right? Like, you, me, half the goddamn gang, most of us don't have dads, least of all good ones. I'd call you years before I dialed up any living blood relative if I was in a tight spot, even if I knew their numbers, but Kiyotaka says he can count on his dad for anything.
I dunno, I kinda figured families like that didn't really exist outside of the TV. It all feels really fake to think about, but Kiyotaka's the type of guy who makes a piss poor liar, so I guess he's gotta be telling the truth, right?
Talking to him was nice. It's
It feels weird because I kept getting this squeezy feeling in my chest when he looked at me and I didn't really think
Whole thing's probably a bad idea because this place is a shitshow, but I kept getting this weird feeling like I've known him forever, and it was kinda like when you need to sneeze but you keep losing it and
It's so stupid, and you're gonna laugh, but I couldn't stop thinking about how nice it'd be to squeeze him around the shoulders like I do to you sometimes, and how nice and warm he'd be from sitting in there for so long. Isn't that the dumbest goddamn thing you've ever
I told him about you, too. Talked for a real long time, I think, but he never cut me off or anything. Just let me go on and on about when we were kids together, and how you'd always want to be on the back of my bike until we caved and got you your own, and how we'd never been apart except when we had to be. Like now.
There's a lot of stuff I wanna tell you when I get out. Told Kiyotaka about that, too. He says he's really excited to meet you.
Fuck this school. Should've just run away to Hokkaido like we used to talk about sometimes. I know you like the snow.
-Mondo
Listen, Michi, I
Takemichi,
Yukim
Do you remember how we used to have those little sleepovers? The ones we started having back when Daiya was around, and we'd be hanging out in my room, and you'd be reading one of those books for literature class I could never get through and laying on your stomach, and I'd be playing on Daiya's janky old handheld from when he was little, and it'd get late and we'd both pretend to forget that you could just go sleep on the couch. You were even littler, but you felt bigger because I wasn't big yet, either. Everything felt bigger back then. I used to think Daiya was bigger than God, but I might be a little taller than he was now.
You always ran so cold. I'd hold you as close as I could and you'd put your face in my neck and the tip of your nose would be this freezing little dot. I used to think you just got a little bit sick every time you fell asleep. I still kind of think you do, the way your breathing gets kinda fast and you go all limp and start reaching for whatever warmth you can snuggle up to. I know I always used to complain about you being a blanket hog, but I really liked having an excuse to be that close to you.
I think it was the third or fourth time we did that when I realized I might be in love with you. Should have said something while I had the chance. If I was a better man, I would have. I'm so fucking sorry, Michi, and I get it if you never forgive me. You probably shouldn't.
We had one the night Daiya died, and you spent hours rubbing my back while I was fucking useless just staring at the wall and sometimes I think that's the only reason we kept it up at all. I feel like if we hadn't we'd never do it again. You're always so far away now. That's my fault because I know you loved him and I
I fucked up, Michi. Bad. Over and over again for my whole life. Think this is the big one that finally does me in. We all knew it would happen someday, right? Guys like me don't get to live forever. We do something stupid and get shot or run over or beaten to death in an alleyway. If Kuwata's was
I don't think I'm making it out. I'm sorry. I'm sorry about a lot of shit you're probably gonna hear about soon, and I'm sorry for all the shit I'm still too goddamn scared to say. Even in a fucking letter. You deserve so much better than this and I'm too much of a coward to give it to you. I wish it had been anyone but me you met in middle school, and you went on to tear the whole goddamn world apart with someone who could stay by your side through it all and not fuck your life up again and again.
I know we weren't on great terms when I left. Haven't been for a while. That's my fault, too. It's all on me. I'm every bad thing that's happened to you since you ran away. I kinda
hope that makes this easier for you. If I never did a goddamn thing right by you, maybe there's at least that.
When Kiyotaka
I know I got no right asking, but when Kiyotaka makes it out, take care of him, yeah? He likes you, and you're gonna love him. He's a good man, and you both deserve to have someone looking out for you.
If you make it in to hell, come find me. There's a lot of shit I still owe you. If you don't, tell Daiya I miss him.
Let your radiance shine like a burning torch.
-Mon
Love,
Mondo