Chapter Text
A loud buzzing crowd was below as Boot Beer stood. Below his feet was a stage, as tonight was an open mic for the Boot Bar. He's always loved performing at the bar, with his mandolin in hand. Ever since his time spent as Bard Beer he's known this is his true passion. Tonight he was wearing; a quite well-made and eye-catching glittery tuxedo featuring a mix of blues, blacks and whites. As he stood about to grab the microphone Boot Beer decided to scan the crowd for any familiar or new faces.
Most of the people there he hadn't really recognized, though he didn't mind. He noticed Psychic analyzer was there as per usual, they're one of his biggest fans so it is expected. On a table there was noticeably a laptop originally belonging to Armelia but now being owned by Boot Beer sitting there, on the laptop Skype was open as Stamen wanted to watch his performance. Nearby was the girl sitting at a table with a glass of beer, who was wearing a white fancy dress, but for some reason it made him feel some sort of way.
There was always something wrong with himself he couldn't quite pin down. Maybe it could've just been the fact he a normal person, was in such a weird world. But he just isn't sure. Whenever he saw the girl especially in such wonderful dresses he couldn't help but feel a sense of yearning and perhaps jealousy? Her pink braids, voice and outfits all made him feel a certain type of want or need. Sometimes Boot Beer wondered how it'd feel to be more like her. And oddly enough the thought doesn't sound half bad. He doesn't understand why or where these feelings came from. It was as if he's in the wrong body, as if this wasn't him. His emotions and body felt disconnected from himself, he couldn't explain it properly if he tried. She was a great friend though; a part of him just felt envy towards her. He couldn't help but feel like that was wrong of him.
Boot Beer quickly shook himself out of his deep thoughts and walked up towards the microphone on the stage, grabbing it and quickly spoke. "Hello every-" Before he could've continued the door slammed open revealing a certain Wizard he wasn't particularly fond of. Yeah okay his night is ruined. Could this guy ever leave him alone? He's just a normal guy, he doesn't understand why this Wizard keeps pestering him. A loud sigh left Boot Beer as the Wizard quickly ran up to the stage, to steal the microphone. "I love when you come here. It's the best part of my day." Boot Beer said looking towards the Wizard with an annoyed expression, as a mischievous and evil grin quickly plastered itself on the Wizards face. "OH do you now?!" Wizard's hands started rubbing his hands together as he laughed maniacally. He'd throw the microphone back at Boot Beer and jumped off of the stage, quickly exiting the Boot Bar. Why is he and the girl the only two normal ones in this entire place.
After the performance was done and loud cheers could be heard throughout the bar Boot Beer quickly got off of the stage, his shoes gently touching the ground as he quickly made his way past the tables towards the girl. Silently he was hoping he'd overhear someone saying her name but that never happens. Isn't that just his luck? As he made his way, he waved to her direction but she seemed distracted on her phone. What could she possibly be looking at on her phone? She was always dense, and in her own head but he supposes that is apart of her charm. Once he reached her he'd tilt his head curiously.
"Did you like the performance?" The girl looked up at him and said in a fairly neutral tone. "Ya." Boot Beer smiled gently towards it, he was happy she had enjoyed it. "I'm glad you like it!" Then suddenly the girl then showed him what was on her phone, which showed Pepis wearing a cute little bow. He had to admit, it was adorable. "Pepis." She said smiling towards him, its dress swaying lightly. Boot Beer just stared at the photo for a minute, until the girl eventually put her phone away. "Oh I had to ask! If you have any extra dresses laying around at home." He'd look away slightly embarrassed, though continued. "I really want to try some on! Tomorrow if you're free you could maybe stop by and let me borrow a few?" The girl just looked; at him for a second with her fairly weird smile, she'd take a sip of beer before giving a thumbs up. His face lit up immediately at the acceptance of his request, he would love to know what it'd feel like to wear those beautiful silky dresses. What it'd feel like to be a girl. Sometimes he just wishes he could've been a different person, or that he truly is a different person.
After his short conversation with the girl he walked over to the laptop he had set quickly saying his goodbyes to his father before closing it. He prefers keeping conversations between him and his father short, Stamen had always not been a great person. Although he's glad that Stamen at least wants to be apart of his life. A part of him does care for Stamen but another part of him hates Stamen for everything he had done to him and others.
After a long day, at the Boot Bar everyone had finally exited the building. He had already cleaned up the bar, taken off his outfit and was getting himself ready for bed. Boot Beer was tired after a long day of performing and desperately needed rest. He walked himself over to his bedroom, taking gentle short steps. Although he suddenly stopped himself while walking there looking down at his shirt. With that stupid blue male sign on it. A constant reminder of who he is supposed to be follows him on his chest. He can't remove this stupid shirt god damn it. He hates how it feels on his body, it doesn't feel like himself in the slightest yet he's forever stuck with this. He felt so out of place and unreal if that is a good word to describe it. His body isn't a body that he controls it is as if he's not himself, just watching and looking from the outside. He doesn't like how short his hair is, it didn't ever feel correct to him but he has noticed it never grows. It upsets him, but what can he do about it? Oh what he would do to just have been born into the correct body. Curse you Stamen. It has always felt incorrect when he is called by his masculine pronoun. He wants to be seen, treated, called, have a voice like and dress like a girl. But how can he be when he was made to be a man? To be the fiance to another? Born with this shirt that'll never come off that'll forever show who he really is. And he hates it so much.
Boot Beer's knees buckled slightly as he attempted to rip off his shirt with no avail. He kept trying, trying, trying and trying yet it never worked. His face was filled with a mixture of anger but at the same time grief. He just wishes he could've been made a girl instead of this. Maybe his body would for once feel like his own, and he'd be happy. His own skin wasn't his own, it's terrible. He wants to tear himself into shreds. Why wouldn't this shirt go? It's just a part of his body, isn't it? It disgusts him everytime he sees it and oh how he wish it could just leave. Every day he has to see this, it haunts him everywhere he goes. He hates his body more than anything else. Would anyone understand how he felt? How would the others around him feel about it? Boot Beer has tried therapy before; but it just didn't really work for him. He despises seeing photos, of himself. He doesn't like how he looks, at all.
God he need some rest. He'd let his hands off of his shirt, the tight grip now removed. His eyes darted away from his shirt, trying to ignore its presence as he started walking once again towards his bedroom, although this time a bit more quickly as if he was in a rush.
Once he had made himself to his bedroom he laid himself down, flat on his bed. A migraine was setting itself deep inside his head and he was just exhausted of it all. Though a small part of himself looked forward to the next day knowing he'd be able to finally dress how he wanted. Not how everyone else expected or wanted him to dress. He'd grab a blanket which may I add was a very comfortable one and quickly draped it over himself, falling into a deep slumber.